If the Pope was really smart....

...judging by the effect a truly beautiful church has on people, if the Church (whether Catholic, Church of England, or whatever) was really smart, they'd have a guy at the front entrance, holding a large sheaf of "nun-papers" (or "priest papers" if you are a boy) whereby, when you are caught up in the spirituality and beauty of the church you have just entered, you sign away your soul and all your earthly possession just because you are so emotionally overwhelmed by the beauty around you.

I say this because I STILL remember, from 1987, a trip to St. Paul's in London. Julia and I walked in, and somehow we were lucky enough to be there when the choir was practicing just before a service. The main chorus guy (excuse my lack of knowledge of technical terms) invited us to sit in the choir seats during the service.

So there I was, all of 17 years old, sitting in the choir of St. Freaking Paul's Cathedral in London, listening to the most beautiful choral music I have EVER heard, and bawling my eyes out. During a service. With priests and dudes in dresses and all that stuff.

I mean this literally, if someone had handed me nun papers, it woulda been a done deal. I'd be wearing a wimple. (Well, let's be honest. Me? EVIL! And REALLY bad at chastity. And humility. And isn't there something about poverty? Eww. So I would been kicked out by now, but still, they would have gotten at least a few months of fervent nun-ness out of me. I am nothing if not enthusiastic.)

The best part of the nun-papers scheme is, that, when people realize what they have just done, the church could also have anti-nun-papers standing by, whereby, for a smallish fee, you can get back your soul and all your earthly possessions. I say a smallish fee in the most general of terms, of course.

Man, the church should totally hire me. My evil minions and I, we would totally rake in the buckage.