Wednesday, November 29, 2006

weak but still alive

Well, I'm kind of weak and have a tendency to get dizzy, but I'm ok. I'm drinking some free range chicken broth (still makes me laugh when i envision them trying to gather all that broth from the fields). I also got some water and some electrolyte stuff and some charcoal that I am supposed to swallow and it binds the bad stuff to effectively get it out of my system. My stomach still hurts pretty bad, but no hurling for a few hours, so that is a big bonus.

I found Voss water at the store. Voss water is this super-chi chi water that comes in sleek glass bottles that they tout as the purest of the pure water, direct from pristine Norway. As all Norwegian water is pretty damned good, I figure they probably could use any tap anywhere in Norway to fill those bottles, then sucker pretentious Americans into paying $3 for a bottle. I hear it's the only water Britney will drink.....the bottles ARE cool, but unwieldy as they are heavy and tend to fall over easily.

It's chilling in the fridge and we will have a water tasting soon, comparing Voss to Ozarka, my favorite American bottled water. In the meantime I am drinking my range fed broth and hoping this charcoal crap works soonest.

I can't wait to come home so I can shop at Central Market and Whole Foods, like, all the time.

a fine kettle of fish

OH man can I feel any worse?

I have been hurling ALL NIGHT. I'm getting kind of scared because i can't even drink water without sending it right back up the way it came. And can I just tell you that I am REALLY thirsty right about now? If this continues through tomorrow, am I supposed to go to the hospital for fear of dehydration? I don't know!? I've never had this sort of food poisoning before. IT SUCKS ASS...though maybe I should say it blows. And I'm tired as hell but my tummy hurts too much to let me sleep. And I can't take anything for it, because off the aforementioned and much lamented hurling.

I swear, this house of women I am staying at....we are a fine kettle of fish. One of us is chained by boob to baby (she is the healthy mobile one of us right now and Griffin was a trooper at the hospital when Heather went to get Julia yesterday), one of us will be in some serious hurt after her car wreck (and yeah, she could have DIED were it not for air bags!) and I am a hurling mess.

And I fly back to Norway Saturday and am supposed to be back at my brother's house to do some work on it on Thursday. Let's hope this gets better.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

...and in other news,

After Julia got home (she's fine, thank goodness) I don't know if it was stress or what that got me but I totally hurled up all the stuff in my stomach.

What the hell? Twice in one month?

I can't recall doing that twice in over 15 YEARS........

Mexican food is SO much more fun the other direction.

nice day for me, not so much for Julia

Eventful days this week, people, eventful days.

Last night I met my niece Bethany for dinner at Austin Land and Cattle. I think I have mentioned that place before, but let me just remind you....if you like steak, and want it cooked to perfection, there is no other choice in Austin. This is the best steak in the world. AND they have the famous Shiner Bock Battered Mushrooms. Like, I don't think I could choose between the two. Luckily I don't have to and I get both. Heaven. That and a rocks margarita with Couintreau and I am a happy omnivorous gal. Bethany, my niece, is like me in her steak eating preferences and I am proud to report we both completely ignored the spinach that came with it. EW. I am always so impressed by Bethany. That girl has got her shit together and is a hoot to boot. Smart, funny acerbic and great to talk to. She's so far ahead of how how I was at that age....compared to her, I was a rank idiot. Rock on Miss B!

This morning I got up early (well, it felt early, anyhow, after the steak and margaritas...c'mon, when it's that good ya gotta have two!) and met Amamgets (see her blog to the left) at Mozarts for coffee. Can I just say how AWESOME she is? She drives a GIANT Suburban, but on it she has a bumper sticker that says "Draft all SUV drivers". Seriously, how can you not love someone with a sense of humor like that? She's totally cool and I hope to get to know her better whenever I get the hell home, which honestly better be SOON because I heart Austin, y'all.

After coffee with Amamgets, I met Bookhart for lunch at Chuy's where I had my usual Shrimp Tacos and she had her Chicken Sopapilla with the ranchero sauce on the side and traditional Mexican rice, not the hatch chile stuff. Yes, we always order the same, for years now, and I also always get a regular big ol' Coke, she gets Diet. I love that tradition, and a visit to Austin would feel incomplete without it. We have been going to Chuy's for almost 20 years now.

After lunch I dropped her back off at the office, picked up my contacts, did some shopping and got to see Karla May and Jaye for a brief visit. I also got totally insulted at Whole Foods when this random guy in the vitamin aisle asked if a girl in that aisle and I were related and said we looked alike. I looked at her, she was standing right behind me, age around 25-30, and then he asked if I WAS HER MOTHER!!!!!!! This girl who I had never seen before and just happened to be in the same aisle as me....was I HER FUCKING MOTHER!!!!!! All I could do was harumph and hmmph and growl and I left that aisle in high dudgeon. Asshole, asshole of the first nature. I DO NOT LOOK OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER MOTHER! That was the only sucky part of the day, for me.

After that I went to Shepler's Weatern Store to pick up some Levi's for our friend Martin back in Norway. There is not much that's more fun or truly Texan than shopping at a Western store. Boots of every color, strange women's clothes with bedazzling all over them, helpful workers in tight Wranglers, ropers and cowboy hats who lead you through the store and find exactly what you want, all the while calling you "Ma'am", and everyone y'allin' up a storm, that's MY idea of Texas shopping fun.

I got back to take a nap. Heather was not here. I figured she was at baby yoga or something.

Nope. Turns out she was in the emergency room with Julia, who got in a wreck this afternoon. She's ok, just banged up a bit, but her car is toast. Heather called just a few minutes ago. Poor Julia. She is a really good driver, so whatever happened is pretty much guaranteed to be the other person's fault.

They will be home soon, I should go straighten something or get some ice together or something. SOMETHING to be useful......

Sunday, November 26, 2006

puppy love

Some pics from Thanksgiving.

I was a total farm girl. My wardrobe consisted of short sleeved t-shirts over long (a look I have never worn convincingly) paired with jeans and a ratty old pair of Timberlands I left at my parents for slobbing around in. I spent my time learning how to ride a four wheeler (I am really good at shifting and goinng forward, not as good at steering and stopping), bbq-ing, romping on the puppy and generally getting dirty at every opportunity. It was sweet. My new name is Ozark Bob. (not)

A seemingly cute and furry puppy with teeth like needles. She was not biting me in this picture.

Here's Engel on her dog bed, where she's chewed off the edge. She's a little damp because Teufel thinks that SHE is a chew toy as well, though he is very gentle when he takes her whole head in his mouth. No, really, He's GENTLE. But slobbery.

That's me and Kathy, my brother's girlfriend. The puppy would start gnawing on her ears within seconds after this photo.

There's my brother on the patio with Flumpy. The little nipper is licking her, um, bits. Compared to the other dogs she is very small. But they are very big.....

Right after this picture was taken Engel jumped on Flumpy and he ran away. He is not very puppy centric and basically avoids her at every opportunity.

I drove back to Texas on Saturday, 12 hours straight, luckily not that much traffic. I would like to kindly request that the Oklahoma Turnpike Authority please either man the toll booths on the Creek Tollway around Tulsa or have it so that the fucking change machines WORK! I mean, seriously, I would pay the tolls if you made it possible for me to, but with toll booths that are exact change only, me not having change and you guys not having change machines that work...what the hell am I supposed to do? Yeah, I had to run the toll booth. I've never done that before. HOWEVER..... I did pay for the one I had to run at the next opportunity, where there was actually a person available. I am evil, but not a thief.

I got back to Heather and Julia's at 8:30 pm, and then got up really early this morning to (now, don't faint) attend CHURCH where we had the baptism of Griffin. Which is a whole 'nother story in itself. Which I will tell tomorrow. I can say that there was no lightning shooting at my head, no fire and brimstone raining down and identifying me as the heathen I am, and I did not say "fuck" once. So, woo to me and my manners. Mamma done taught me right.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

that's a big 'un

I just helped mom lug the 22 lb turkey up the basement stairs. It's a big 'un.

Mom's been cooking, baking or planning for about three weeks now. She's in cook heaven(hell).

Kit is just waiting for the when the turkey crisps up so he can get to the skin. I am a gravy hound of the first order and actually think that all the rest is just corollary to the gravy. Forget the other stuff, just gimme gravy and a spoon. Dad happily eats it all. Whatever you put in front of him, he'll eat it. Mom daintily has a small portion of everything, which is the secret to her phenomenal figure after all these years, but I know she'll be "testing" the food as she cooks it as well.

Kit's girlfriend, Kathy, is manfully holding her own in this loud, opinionated and oddly close-knit family. She manages to toe the line between my leftist leanings, Dad's so- far- right- he's- left- passionate speeches and Mom's 'in one ear out t'other' middle ground. Kit just goes and pounds on the new puppy or rides around on one of the 4 wheelers. He always was the smart one. I'm better, though, about not getting into it with Dad anymore. Hey, we both abhor GWB and that is enough of a middle ground for us to sit back and enjoy each other's company on a father-daughter level. You shoulda seen us in the Clinton years, though...woof.

We'll eat around 3 or 3:30 and then one of us will put in a movie (something more boy oriented than girl, even though there are MORE GIRLS here right now) , to which Dad and Mom will be snoring within 20 minutes. Kathy and I will no doubt pull out our Macs and do our internet nerd thing, and Kit will read a magazine or pretend not to snore with the parentals. If Rich was here, (he's back in Norway) he'd be politely trying not to snore, but would fail miserably. Though he would have won MASSIVE brownie points (as he always does) by helping to clean up after the meal. The first time he did that, I swear Mom almost passed out. Men in this family have not been trained to help with the clean up. A man in the kitchen is as rare a sighting as a UFO. (For us, the alternative meaning of UFO is Unrepentant Farting Object.)

Tomorrow we NONE of us will be hitting those horrible 6 am sales on "Black Friday". Family tradition demands NO shopping on the one day that you are supposed to go. We are, you see, contrarians of the first order. Nobody tells US when to shop! Besides, Friday is Turkey and Gravy Sandwich Day, which for me is the whole point of Thanksgiving....I just wanna get to Friday when the REAL fun starts.

Happy Thanksgiving one and all......

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

dogs who are not what they seem

We have a tradition in our family of naming dogs opposite of how they really are. For example right now my parents have:

Flumpy is a HUGE fierce 135 lb German shepherd whose ears have a tendency to flop (just a little). When he was a puppy he used to just flop down into the water of the creek on my parents property, with his rear legs splayed behind him in a very un-doglike manner. When I saw him do that, I told my brother (whose dog he was) that he "flumped" down just like my friend Bookhart's ancient stuffed animal she had named Flumpy when she was a child. Flumpy. Flumpy the puppy. And, the name stuck, even as Flumpy grew to be a huge, massive un-Flumpylike German shepherd. My brother would take the dog out to the park and call him over..."Fllluuumpyyy!" and everyone would look around for the little nerfy chihuahua doggie, only to see great galumphing Flumpy come running up. Teehee.

Teufel. Teufel means "Devil" in German, but Teufel is the sweetest, most patient dog on this earth.

Ginger. Ginger is the protector, the one who alerts my parents when people drive onto their property. Flumpy might be the one who would go after someone if necessary, but Ginger is going to be the one to alert everyone to the fact that there is someone there....She probably comes closest to her name, as she is a bit retiring and walks gingerly due to her advancing age.

So, because of this traditon of names that don't necessarily match the dog's temperament, I hereby nominate the name of the new puppy as...Engel. German for Angel. Because she's NOT. She's an ankle biting, head jumping, growling little maniac puppy who will chew your pant leg to smithereens (you should see my BRAND NEW J Crew cords...might as well cut them off into shorts now) and go on thru to your leg bone as the second course. She's a furry mini-menace all wrapped up in an adorable package of cute.

Engel. She's got sharp pointy teeth (RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!) and a puppy-like eagerness to use them.........

Dad wants to call her Grace (once again, cuz' she's a klutz and a half) but that's too nice...I think Engel fits the family theme of Kraut names. Previous dogs include Schlingel, Mueschi and Heidi (nickname Hideous). But then there was also Big Boy, Playmate, Teddy and my old dog, Beaufort. Duchess of......

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

thieving on down the line

I stole this from Karla May who stole it from a blog she visited for the first time (you go with your thieving self!) I'm here at my parents' (dad's over there asleep on his chair) and have spent the morning being chewed on by a very determined puppy who thinks humans are just big moving chew toys. After I do this i will fill the puncture holes in my arms and ankles made by puppy teeth with neosporin and some spackle.

Yourself: lazy
Your partner: away
Your hair: leonine
Your Mother: goofy
Your Father: snoozing
Your Favorite Item: Luccese
Your dream last night: sex
Your Favorite Drink: mocha
Your Dream Car: fast
Your Dream Home: bigger
The Room You Are In: comfortable
Your Ex: which?
Your fear: blindness
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? healthy
Who you hung out with last night: family
What You're Not: cheap
Muffins: cake
One of Your Wish List Items: home
The Last Thing You Did: scamper
What You Are Wearing: jeans
Your favorite weather: autumn
Your Favorite Book: 3 Musketeers
Last thing you ate: cereal
Your Life: unsettled
Your mood: calm
Your Best Friends: strong
What are you thinking about right now: nap?
Your car: sold
What are you doing at the moment: contemplating
Your summer: sunlit
Relationship status: ever-evolving
What is on your TV: reflections
What is the weather like: crisp
When is the last time you laughed: morning

Now I will stretch out on one of the sofas in the "great room" and vedge while flipping through some of my mom's catalogues. I know this sounds wierd, but we don't get catalogues in Norway and I totally MISS them. Shopping while not moving off your don't realize a hole in your life until it's filled....

Monday, November 20, 2006

Notes on a road trip

Few things make me happier than a road trip. Give me a good car (5+ speed, no automatics, please), some good music (yeay iPod!) and a clear stretch of road and I am a happy girl. I can drive for hours and be perfectly content. I like to drive, I like to go fast......for me, nothing beats a good ol' road trip in the US of A.

Here's some comments on today's activities:

1) Note to Texas drivers:

MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY! THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING!!!!!! Hello?! I went thru three states today, and I will tell you that Texans are the WORST about sitting in that left lane like there is only the one lane, going 65 in a 70 and thinking they own the road in their giant Suburbans and Expeditions. If any of those inconsiderate asswipes had ever driven in Germany they would have been run off the road. It is completely rude to dawdle in the left lane. Yes, that was me on your ass. I didn't flash my lights only because you would not have known what it meant, you stupid git! I REPEAT: THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING! Next time I will not be so nice!

Thanks. You guys DO know how to go fast on a turnpike and how to get out of my way. Well done. I learned that the car I borrowed from my brother goes 110 with no trouble whatsoever, and it wanted to go faster but I chickened out. Plus I had to pee and saw a rest stop.....

3) Note to Missourians:
Stop talking on your cell phone, bitch! Passing me at 90 and then slowing down to 70 because your phone rings is just NOT on! Decide on a speed and stick with it! And get a better hair cut! That mullet is just wrong. Otherwise, I will say that Missouri has the BEST roads. All beautifully paved, smoothly banked and a joy to drive on.

Route 66 is really cool. On the way to my parents' house from Texas, I get to follow the route for about half the way. You really get a feel for how it used to be, and if you keep a sharp eye out you see old hotels, motels, garages and hints of how it would have looked at the time of thhe "Grapes of Wrath". While I usually opt for the faster interstate, every so often I get off and follow the old road and it always gives me a thrill.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

post beer day two blog post

Two nights out down, one to go. last night and tonight are the biggies...last night was Austin Blog Babes gathering and then to the Carousel for the Dentones. Tonight is Mag's Drunken Karaoke Birthday fest (yes dear, you ARE NOW 37...face it).

I'm still scared by my alcohol overload of the other weekend. I mean, seriously, it has me looking at alcohol with leary eye and a doubting mind.

Anyhow, I started off pretty slow at Opal's last night, as the blogging gals got together and talked gal stuff. (Note, I was the ONLY one there that was not a mother, though, bless them all, they never ever make me feel less of a person or even that i am missing out on something. They are all just glad to escape the kids for a night, and i am glad to be there with them and maybe, just a teensy bit, be that bad influence friennd, the one who says things like "Oh just ONE more beer can't hurt". I just don't have to much to add to the mix in terms of discussions of baby poop viscocity, texture, color or smell....and that's kind of ok in my mind. I could talk about my own, I suppose, but grown up poop is no where NEAR as interesting as baby poop.) Anyhow, we talked. We laughed. We sorority girl screamed (you know...OHMYGAWD!). Badger looked particularly fetching in her tight jeans tucked into stiletto boots. Girlfriend, you gots a mighty cute ass.

AFter that on to see the Dentones at the Carousel. Everyone should go to a place like the Carousel once in their lives. It's Austin funky supreme. The entire decor is based on a Carousel, with animals and circus themes all around. There is a giant elephant painted directly behind the stage, with a 3d snout. They don't do mixed drinks but you can get a set up there and byob. Beer is cheap. And they have Stella, the dancing barmaid, who's been there for like 50 years but still gets her groove on with the bands. She's awesome.

The band played the P-furs "I'll Melt with You" (though they are not a cover band) so all us gals got up and did our 80's dances. I am rather proficient at the Molly Ringwald myself.

We all got hit on at the Carousel by a young Puerto Rican guy named, of all things, Egil. Yes, a Norwegian name for a Puerto Rican with a Spanish father. Anyhow, he was all over each of us in turn, but in a funny way, not a handsy way, and we all kind of fucked with him and told him we were like, 46 years old. Karla May embellished with tales of boob lifts, face lifts and knee replacements given her by her rich asshole exhusband, who left her anyways for a 23 year old floozy bitch who shall remain nameless (maybe because we were all laughing so hard she couldn't think up a name). One friend (Kristen) told him she was 50, and he was all "DAMN! Jou look GOOOd for feefty". Jes, Jes she do look good for feefty......He told me I had "byooteeful leeeps" and that I am a "beyooteeful ladeee with a beeyooteeful spirit". Thanks dude!

I managed to remain fairly hurt-bucket free, thanks to judicious beer monitoring and lots of water in between times. I spent the night at Karla May's and we had some very intense discussions of various things (damn she's amazing, how'd I luck out in getting her for a ffriend?) and then we pigged OUT on Mexican food for lunch.

Tonight I will muster up courage and cleavage for the Karaoke extravaganza, but you can pretty much bet on it this gal AIN'T singing.....

Friday, November 17, 2006

post beer meme blog post

Happily, and not at all apologetically, stolen from Badger after a night o' beers with pals. Woo!

Explain what ended your last relationship?
Fuck me if I can remember. Actually, maybe that was the problem.

When was the last time you shaved?
Um...Saturday. Maybe I should rectify that.

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Trying not to wake up.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
I was at the Mean Eyed Cat, one of my favorite bars in Austin. It's a bar that's based on Johnny Cash, and visually and atmospherically, I totally think it's perfect.

Are you any good at math?
Yes in wierd ways. No in others.

Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
I did not get laid. I can still wear the dress.

Do you have any famous ancestors?
Yup. There was a guy that innvented a car, and there was a guy that was the largest mule dealer in the USA long ago (SHUT UP!) and also, I am told, Robert E Lee. And some famous Germans on my mom's side as well. Musicians and brewers.

Have you had to take a loan out for school?

Last thing received in the mail?

How many different beverages have you had today?
Beer. Coffee. Water. Coke.

Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machine?
Really stupid long winded ones where I just vomit out information and stuff because I get tangled in the words and can't remember what I said. Kind of like how this blog post is going.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Quiet Riot, eary 80's. No comments necessary on that one.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
yes. But I also draw obscene stuff too.

What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had?
I am not scared of the dentist. they give me drugs. I LIKE the dentist.

What is out your back door?
Well, here at my friend Julia's there's a backyard with a deck. In Norway there's ...a deck.

Any plans for Friday night?
Yes! Hanging with my bitches! And then to see my friends' band.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
Well, my hair looks sort of fucked up no matter what I do, so the ocean just adds an extra layer of saltiness to it.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
I LOVE those. Never got one to myself, always had to share. But I really only like the butter and the caramel sides, I don't like the cheese flavored crap.

Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes. But honestly, who cares?

Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes. Who has time to do all that washing?

Some things you are excited about?
Driving this obscenely fast car my brother lent me, this upcoming weekend which is jam packed with pals and fun, and eating Mexican food until I smell like beans.

What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?
Favorite and Jello are two words that rarely come together in the same sentence for me.

Describe your keychain(s)?
It's got keys on it....duh.

Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet. Also the bottom of my purse.

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
Dunno. But it doesn't bother me to do so.

What kind of winter coat do you own?
I think the question in my case should be "how many".

What was the weather like on your graduation day?
I'm from Texas. It was hot.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
I hang upside down from the ceiling, so the door position does not matter.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

0 for three

We are now 0 for three on making Griff cry. I think he feels my nervousness. I even look at him and hil little mouth curls in rage. Maybe he really DOES sense my evil nature. Damn. (My evilness does not go in the direction of hurting anyone, by the way. I am pacifist evil. My evil runs more towards innuendo and saucy wisecracks. Small attempts at totalitarian domination. Naughty laughter and humorous fart jokes. Hey, that's EVIL, believe me.) Funny how a two month old creature that can't even really focus his eyes yet rules a household completely. As I am the godmother and will have to hold him at SOME point at his baptism, I am not sure what to do. Wear earplugs?

Um...also, is it a problem that I will be a godmother that doesn't really believe in God? Just wondering. Cuz, you know.

I'm on the deck at Mozart's coffeehouse in Beautiful West Austin on a glorious breezy day. Just cool enough for a sweater, but the sun shines so you stay warm. It bounces off Lake Austin and sparkles in my eyes.

AAACK! BIRDS! Attacking! ME!

A guy just walked away from his VERY yummy looking cake and the grackles attacked it in seconds. Unfortunately I am at the table next to him and grackles totally wierd me out. No amount of waving and shooshing will make them fuck off farther than the radius of my frenzied waves. Their beady little yellow eyes stare and scritchy scratchy feet scramble madly about as they attack his cake. Ew...the cake is red and now they look like they have blood on their beaks.

GAACK! Run away! Run away!

I have an appointment to get my hairs (all 4 million of them) cut at 3pm at Sage Salon. Tomorrow I will go to the eye doctor and get that all checked out...and try to get some contact lenses again, to prove to the world that yes, I have eyes and they are actually quite nice when not hidden behind mondo-trendoid Brit Glasses.

Today I met Bookhart for lunch and she is sporting the most KICK ASS haircut and color I have EVER seen her in...and believe me, I have seen her with every hair color known to man (and some that aren't) and haircuts to boot. She looks AWESOME. Annie Lennox sexie lady confident glam. You GO girl. I'm tempted to do something equally drastic and fabulous, but I do not have her perfectly shaped head...mine is sort of squashed in the back or something. I dunno. I think I have so much hair merely as a way to hide my squashy head. I bet I have moles, too.

OK, altogether, now...1..2..3...EEEWWW!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I make babies cry

I've picked up my godson Griffin twice now. And twice he has FREAKED out. I mean full on SCREAMING.

The kid is giving me a complex. Do I smell bad? Do I have a natural Anti-baby scent? Does he think I will hurt him? Did I squish him?

Oy. I am not good with kids. At least, not until they are like, 6. From 6 until 13 they think I am the coolest thing ever. After that I become wierd in their eyes and I fear it remains so for the rest of their lives. That's ok, I get 7 golden years out of the deal, I'm happy for that.

Rich got home ok after a 5 hour delay on his flight out of Houston. Apparently they took off and then emergency landed as there was something wrong with the plane. Scared the crap out of everyone. They had to replace a part which took a few hours. He had 20 minutes to make his connection in Newark. He is a tired bunny. And stressed.

Today I got to go out to the new outlets north of town with Badger. They had everything I wanted including a Coach outlet. Joy. The wind was gusting something fierce and it was pretty dead out there, as the new IKEA was opening and apparently all of central Texas was there for it. I don't know about you, but camping out to get into an IKEA store first is NOT my idea of fun. Like Badger said, I'll wait til January.

Uh oh. Girffin looked at me. He's about to holler. I think he hates me.....

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

absolute happiness

The best feeling in the world is driving along the highway in a freakishly fast car, listening to Tom Petty belt out one of his jangly happy tunes, and seeing the sign that says "Austin, 23 Miles".

And you reach the top of a hill on Hwy 290...and there it is...the spire of the Capitol of Texas building. You can see it just there, on the horizon, and it is a warm sunny day and you are driving and singing at the top of your lungs with Tom and his Heartbreakers and you see home just ahead.

I got weepy. Weepy with happy. I was wappy. (Heepy?)

Home. You really don't appreciate home until you leave it. But coming back to it is like having your heart put back in your chest.

Austin I will always love you and you will always be my home.


My parents got a puppy to add to their flock of dogs. Meet...Yet To Be Named Girl Germie.


Monday, November 13, 2006

The reunion and curtain demolition, plus a scheduling clusterfuck

I spent the day today removing absolutely heinous curtains from my brother's new house. I mean, he had HUGE poofy curtains in shades of pink and green billowing all over his house....a remnant from the over decorated 80's. It took me two hours and a power drill to remove them, but those light sucking dustbags are now GONE and his house already looks lighter. Score one for the girl addicted to light.

Why was I in Houston today instead of Austin, you ask? Why, because there was a fuck up with Rich's flight and he got rescheduled for tomorrow, which he found out only after I had dropped him off and was on the way to Austin and he called me in a panic......then, we found out that his flight tomorrow is NOT at the same time as it should have been today, but over an hour earlier.....and they never told us, we just sort of found out by accident, when he checked on line. Uh..Continental? Maybe you could let us know when you make flights earlier? Thanks.

So, the reunion. It was fun. What I remember of it. Anne and Nick (Anne I have known since 7th grade and Nick is her husband, I was a bridesmaid at their Big Fat Greek Wedding) got a room at the hotel so we met up in their room for a pre-reunion drinky. Nick handed me a 'something with vodka', and for the rest of the night I was not without a 'something with vodka' in my hand at all times. And vodka, for me, goes down smooth and gives me a pleasant, not overwhelming buzz.

So I was a happy girl at the reunion. It was pretty much has I expected...a bunch of people that I never spent much time with in high school mixed in with some that I had known since kindergarten, a few early life crushes, and some I didn't recognize at all. Anne looked exactly the same, people tell me I do too, and a few other gals looked the same as well. Alot of the guys looked well, middle aged. It was strange. I felt a bit disjointed, all told.

But I was also pretty drunk. Anne and I ended up arm wrestling. That bitch is STRONG. She beat me, but I had an arm cramp. She's so toast next time we arm wrestle. I'm doing a Rocky and getting in shape. It's funny how I only get to see her, like, once or twice a yearr, but it's like we just saw each other yesterday.......we just GET each other. And Nick is the consummate good guy and perfect host.

Anyhow, after the reunion Nick got us a stretch limo (can you believe I had never been in one?) and we went to their club in the Montrose area and danced to a band called Molly and The Ringwalds....they were an awesome 80's band. After a bit of craziness there we then went to their other bar downtown.....and I think I felt up the bartender. (Long story, but she has nice boobs, you really could not tell they weren't real.) Anne told me she hired her in large part because her feet reminded Anne of mine. I mean, really, a friend who remembers your feet and hires people based on similarities therein is a friend you should keep. Goofy and hilarious.......

Rich didn't come with us to the bar because he was too drunk and too tired. He stayed in the room and listened to Johnny Cash and got emotional. Never ever listen to Cash when drunk. It'll get you. Heed my warning.

Next morning? Oh my GOD. I wanted to die. Death would have been too good. I hurled ALL DAY. I could not eat. And every time I tried to take an Advil or something, I would hurl it up, so t he headache never went away either. We went for Mexican food, which I had been craving for weeks...and I could not eat a bite. I was SO annoyed. I could only watch and try not to make gagging noises.

Yesterday was a wash for I am really glad that Rich had an extra (mistaken) day here. so I could be a real person and we could have some time together before he went back to Norway.

Ok so we are now gonna go have some bbq......something for Rich to rememebr when he goes back.......

Sunday, November 12, 2006

post reunion







Friday, November 10, 2006


I'm in Texas. At a hotel. Using my own computer. It's so nice having my little Mac back....all my bookmarks and my email and oh, lookie, there's iPod restocking all its podcasts....I feel back in control again.

There's a kick ass lightning storm going on cool to see a good Texas storm. We are on the 16th floor so we are seeing it fairly close.

The flight in from Newark was fine, but Newark airport kind of sucks. Especially the check in for Continental. They make you use machines to check in, but there are people there, too, but they don't really do much to help with things that the machines won't. Just seems stupid. Why have the people AND the machines, when neither seems much of a benefit? I mean, if the people can't help with special stuff, like, say, seating for extremely tall husbands, why have them? Why not just put up signs that say "We only have the machines. Special requests? Sorry, you're fucked", remove the surly people, and save their salary money for things like, oh I dunno, FOOD on the plane maybe? 4 hour flight and we got pretzels.....that's all.

Oh well. Now I am in the posh hotel in Houston (they have foreign currency exchange here for Euros, Canadian dollars, Japanese Yen, Mexican pesos, and Saudi Riyals only) and am happy to have my computer back in working order. Woo!

Tomorrow we hope to hit the Galleria and meet up with Julia (my Norway friend who moved back here) and then I have to gussy up for the reunion......

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Happy Karla

Hello and major apologies for not posting. And also, THIS is why I did not do that NANoBlogMo or whatever the fuck. I have had no access to a computer until now. Honestly, it hasn't been that much of a problem. Just been hanging out with Rich and his Mom and taking it easy. I can SLEEP here like nobody's business. Sleep and eat.

I am in Pennsylvannia. Coming to the Northeast of the US is, to me, a dyed in the wool Texan, as exotic as traveling to Turkey or France. It's a whole 'nother country. Yankees everywhere, with funny accents, bless my southern boots. But DAMN are they nice. Everyone here is so friendly and helpful, they'll stop whatever they are doing to help you even if you don't ask for it. (They listen to your conversations, and I forget that everyone here speaks english!) It's wierd as I am NOT used to that anymore. You don't talk to strangers in Norway. And a stranger initiating the conversation? No way! I have to remind myself to talk to folks and not just blend into the crowd quietly as I am used to doing.

We've spent the last week shopping for a sportcoat/blazer for Rich and having NO luck. As a 46 extra long, he is apparently a gorilla armed freak and there is nothing around here anywhere for him. We've given up and he is just going to wear a black turtleneck and jeans to the reunion, which is SATURDAY, eek! I got a facial today and a mani/pedi in preparation. I have, as I was told by the aestheticians, great skin and horrible nails, but I knew that already. Horrible nails because I bite them into oblivion. Great skin because of genetics and sun screen devotion over the last few years. Let's hope it keeps up.

The weather was really cold when we got here. I did not pack enough warm clothes. But it warmed up today and it was gorgeous. Rich's mom lives in an old town along the Susquehanna River in Pennsylvania. The house she lives in is an old one, built in 1840 or so, and it was a shop and a dentist's office and other things over the years, so it's a bit funky, but cool. there are lots of grogeous old Victorian homes all around so walking is very nice. I went for a walk the other morning and there was tons to look at. I could totally live in some of these houses. GORGEOUS.

In other news, WOO to the Democrats! I have had to keep my mouth shut as I am in Republicanville and am branded a liberal by all who see me, but I have been quietly (well, sort of quietly) crowing and gloating these past 24 hours. WOO fucking HOO! I was really nervous about the elections, but am glad to see that Americans have smartened up about some things and want a change.......WOOOOO! Maybe I can move back home now? The local Republican Congressman for this area has an office right next to Rich's mom's place, and it sure was awful quiet around his office after he lost....(oh shadenfreude).

Tomorrow I go to Houston where we will meet up with my brother and my friends Anne and Nick. I fully expect to be horribly hung over on Sunday.......but at least my skin and nails will be in good shape.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

those wacky college days.

I was always glad I never had to live in Jester Dorm on the University of Texas Campus when I was in college. Granted I spent alot of time there, as my lifelong bud Julia lived there, and my freshman year of college my boyfriend lived there as well, but it always felt ramshackle and GodDAMN it was noisy. Not to mention the piss in the elevators and stairwells. (WHY can't boys just hold it like girls do?)

I was assigned to an all girl's dorm (Blanton) which I protested vociferously at first (WHAT? NO BOYS?), but then came to realize I really liked. After the mayhem of Jester it always felt so peaceful and safe. Kind of like going back in time to the 50's. No boys = clean bathrooms, a semblance of silence, and best of all, the ability to walk back to your room from the bathroom clad in just a towel. Which I did daily. There was also the occasional "sneaking in of the boy" which we all did at some time or another, but we all also pretended to not know when others did it. I love the Girl Code.

Anyhow, here are some reasons why I am glad I did not live in Jester. Greg sorta brought it all home to me in his nostalgic (?) post.

I did, however, enjoy the fried chicken station at Jester cafeteria...I'd have that with mashies and brown gravy and a little teeny salad, just to keep up appearances. That way I could tell my mom I had a salad for dinner.....

SnoBloTiThro (SnotBlowTissueThrow)

I am not doing this.

For two reasons. 1) I will traveling the WHOLE month and so can't really say I will be able to. And 2) I really, truly can't STAND these hip abbreviations of things. NaBloPoMo? NaNoWriMo? In Austin they now call the South Congress area "SoCo". So would my house in Austin be in WesAus? And folks in Round Rock are in RoRo? People in Georgetown GeTo? Come on, people, USE YOUR full.

While I am on this high horse (and at my age it gets harder to get up there so you might as well stay a while) is anyone else totally and completely SICK of Kate Moss? I mean, DAY-um. She's in every freaking fashion ad in Vanity Fair, every damned photo spread in Vogue, I am so sick of her I could barf. She dates a total loser, lives like a spoiled 18 year old, yet somehow she manages to still be the muse of so many fashionistas? I just don't get it. And I've never thought her to be that gorgeous, either. Versatile, perhaps, but I just never liked her that much. So, Burberry, etc? I won't buy your stuff merely because La Kate is wearing it...I need something better. And possibly less...common?

On to the next rant......

My frigging cold will NOT let go of me. In fact, here's a haiku about yesterday:

Vivid yellow snot
Explodes from my nostril holes.
I am walking death.

Here's another, just for colorful emphasis. Let know one say I am not SE-XY!

Shade not from nature.
Gelatinous Gatorade?
My tissue is full.

Or how's this?

No one on the train
Sits next to girl with snot rags.
Railroad pariah.

Today I get to spend the day waiting for the cable guy and the floor heating guy. Even though our cable broke from no fault of our own and the only way to get it fixed is to get a home visit, always a last resort in Norway, I bet we pay through the congested NOSE for the privilege. They are doing a building wide check of the floor heating, and sent out these notices where they say "we are checking the floor heating in every flat. If you can't be there leave a key with your neighbor". I'm all like, what? Huh? Then how do I get into the building myself? Cuz I need the key to get in! And what if their times are not good for us? jeez....

I think I am most cranky because I have to pack. I have to pack a month's worth of stuff that will cover trips to: Pennsylvania, Houston, Austin and my parents place in the Ozarks. This means encompassing my high school reunion, Thanksgiving, a baptism, sloppy clothes for painting at my brother's new house, and weather ranging from below freezing to really very warm (it wass 85 in Texas last week).

Well, I'll do my usual. Jeans, boots, my sparkle jacket, the dress for the reunion (can work for t-giving and baptism as well) and a variety of t's and accessories. Plus the variety of little gifties I always try to bring,though not near the haul I brought from SouthEast Asia. Must remind self can buy whatever I need in the US.

Gotta go blow nose. But first, must clamber down from horse. These old bones are creaky today.