Sunday, January 30, 2011

In Which Your Texpatriate is Miserable



I am a sad sack mother fucker up in here right now. So far, I give 2011 a big thumbs down.
  • Work has been a right pain in the ass. Things will shake out, but for now? Argh.
  • I have been sick since New Years with one cold after another.
  • Nasty argument with the husband the other night, we are not seeing eye to eye on things.
  • Winter and the icy sidewalks are working my LAST nerve.
  • A highly anticipated vacation to escape all this ice and cold might be on the skids as it will be to one of those places that is currently experiencing protests and anti-government rallies. (But I bet we will go anyhow, and no it is not to Tunisia, Yemen (ha) or Egypt.)
So far 2011 is a big fat FAIL in the Karla Book of Suck.

I think the thing that is pissing me off the most right now is this damned cold that keeps coming back. I'm like that nerdy kid at school when you were like, in third grade, that was always snotty and sniffy and kind of gross what with the post nasal drip and snerking noises (I just made that word up, snerk. It's the sound of nasal desperation. The sound of trying not to drown in your own nasal effluent. ARE WE GETTING THE PICTURE HERE, ABOUT THE MISERABLE????) And you wonder why they can't just GET HEALTHY already? That's me. (Actually, if we are gonna be honest, that was me in 3rd grade too, I was the Sinus Princess, my ENT doc probably put his kids through college on what he made off me, you are welcome Dr Graff.)

So anyhow, that's why I don't post much lately, because, seriously, why? You don't want to read about my snot issues. Or see my snot tissues.


Saturday, January 22, 2011


IMG-20110122-00136.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Oh the irony.

Friday, January 21, 2011


I used my brain quite a bit this week at work and it felt strangely good. It also reminded me that I have a pretty good one (brain, that is.)

Nice feeling.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I am a bad blogger...but will make up for it now.

Dudes, I know, I know, I am a bad blogger. My posting frequency is shit, and I do apologize, but life, she is a hard mistress and I really barely have time to get through the average day, much less write about it and break it down into humorous vignettes.


Had some serious fun on Saturday night when I met up with some blogging babes at the Dubliner. All people I had previously met this summer at the Oslo Blog Gather, which didn't have a huge turnout but what it lacked in numbers it matched in genuine fun and great people. Last night didn't disappoint either, I haven't laughed that hard in AGES, and I also enjoyed the company of some of my friends who came along to meet some fellow expats and have a few laughs.

Also the Dubliner has hands down the BEST fish and chips in Oslo. I don't know how they do their mushy peas, but they turn them into something that is tasty beyond the humble little pea into something that makes me want to lick the plate. Savory garlicky tasty goodness right there. Nom nom. The Dubliner is one of my three favorite bars in Oslo. The other two? Forest & Brown and Skaugum. I like kind of divey, comfy cozy, non-trendy-poshy bars. I don't like sleek bars with sleek people. They make me stabby.

It snowed like a MOTHER FUCKER last night, I have rarely seen it come down that hard. It was incredible. Then today it warmed up and was foggy all day, the snow is melting a bit which will mean a slippery day tomorrow. I stayed in, nursing a very slight hangover (more just tired than a headache) and played Domestic Goddess all day. I cooked up some chicken to chop and freeze for future meals, made some cabbage rolls that are currently in the crock pot (love my hard won crock pot!) and did some tidying and sorting of various things in 'my' room. 'My' room can get very messy if I don't stay on top of it. My natural state is chaos, and my day to day task is to fight the chaos back so that it does not overwhelm me. I'm kind of a a neat freak stuck in the persona of a Messy Marvin. (I'm very clean but not very tidy. I like to organize but I get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of crapola I own, and it usually wins the war so I then need to either re-organize or just throw the crap out.) (Note to self: STOP GOING SHOPPING, that might help!)

Anyhow, last night was fun, and refreshing. My blog pals make me feel like a rock star, some of them are blogging because they first read my blog and thought it might be fun to do the same thing themselves. I am always honored and flattered when I think that I might have had a small impact on someone's life....even if only in a small bloggy sort of way. Blog on, women! Blog on with your bad selves!

Oh! And Nerd Thrill of the week? I got a retweet on Twitter by @waitwait. For non twitterers, this means nothing, but for me, NPR geek and lover of all things Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, getting retweeted by @waitwait is nothing less than a mention for the Gods On High. I'm still a bit bouncy over it. Squeeeee!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Because this is my life

It's icy as HELL outside this week. We had a lot of snow over the weekend, then a sudden thaw, then it refreezes every night to make ice. The sidewalks are skating rinks.

So today on the way home, I gingerly negotiated the icy sidewalks, made it through to the drier area, only to end up slipping on a frozen banana peel. You can't make this kind of shit up, you really can't. My life is a comedy cliché, I swear. I couldn't help but laugh.

Especially as I needed the bit of absurdism after a dismally shitty day. Life always manages to remind me to not sweat the small stuff, there is always something funny around the corner. Thank god for that, I was about ready to punch a kitten or something.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

And the new year has begun

In what will feel like a month, it will already be 2012, you know how fast time goes?! But right now it is 2011, and I am trying to get a fresh start on a few things.

Like, I have gone for a week and not eaten ANY wheat. It's not really for health reasons, or anything, and not really for weight loss. I am just a total bread whore, and think maybe I should shake myself up a bit and not have wheat for a while to get out of the bread-for-lunch rut I have been in.
See in my office, in the canteen, they have all these loaves of fresh bread right there, for the taking, and you just cut off however much you want. (Most Norwegian offices above a certain size will have a subsidized lunch canteen, as a way to foster casual communication amongst employees and also as a perk in this extremely food-expensive country. In our canteen lunch costs about 15nok a day, you can't even get an apple at the grocery store for that, so it's a good deal.) All that bread, just sitting there, is like crack to me, I can't resist it. I particularly like the olive bread and the crusty white poppy seed loaf, and have been known to wolf down 4 slices, with the accompaniments of butter or mayo and deli meats.

This must stop. I'm pretty sure the bread has added to the size of my ass, not to mention I don't think that my body processes wheat that well, I think it just goes to fat. (My grandmother, my dad's mom, never ate bread, ever. I think I have her metabolism, so I might as well try her diet too, but with milk (she hated milk) and without so many cigarettes!) I usually feel better on a high protein and veggie diet, but of course, it is hard for me to sustain easily. So, no wheat for me, to wake myself up, see how I feel and think a bit more creatively about food.

It hasn't been TOO bad. This week mostly went ok. The only hard part has been not having fresh boller in the morning, and not having pizza when I am too tired to cook and just want to pop something in the oven and be done. (Pizza might be an issue, actually. It's the only fast food option I find acceptable from the freezer section here.) As long as no one offers me fresh cookies or cakes, I should be ok. I can still have sugar, rice, potatoes, etc., but not wheat. This means no beer, but I can have wine, so that's ok.

I haven't crossed the pasta bridge, yet. I'm going to try it with gluten free and see how that works. I can always just have risotto or something instead.

So, first week of my no wheat promise-to-self accomplished. I told me I'd do it for a month, see how it goes. So far, so good.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

A thing about me you should know

First of all, Happy New Year! I hope your year is great, and that, as I read on FB, may your bad times in the new year last as long as your resolutions! (I thought that was great, and it also leads handily in to my topic today.)

So, people will inevitably ask, "What are your New Year's resolutions?" And I will have to say, "I can't tell you". Because I am superstitious about that.

I think, if there is one thing you should know about me, it's this: I'm dead superstitious.

I'm serious. I'm a heathen, I am not religious, I am not especially a believer in ghosts or spirits or anything like that, but I am SERIOUSLY superstitious.

I won't walk under a ladder.
I will NOT open an umbrella indoors, ever.
If a black cat crosses my path I get the hell out of the path and change directions.
I have Turkish 'evil eye' buttons over the main entry doors of the apartment, and I carry a chestnut with me at all times that my Mom gave me, for luck.

I just do those things as a part of my life and I don't argue with it, but I also don't fuck around with it, it's serious up in here, you know?

So I also have this other thing, this superstitious thing, that might explain something about me, if you have been reading me for long. It is a motto of my life, and some people might see it as me being negative, but that is really not the case.

Here it is:

I talk out the bad things, and I don't talk about the good. Which might explain why it seems as if I am complaining or ranting more than being positive? It's because talking about the bad stuff expels it. It makes it go away. It takes the juju away and makes that bad thing go out into the ether and disappear.

Which is why I don't talk much about good stuff, for the same reason, as I don't want to dispel its power, I want to keep it close to me and not let it disappear. I want to keep the light within me and let it shine. (I am pretty sure my brother does this too. As a family, we tend to need to talk out the bad, but we are pretty cagey about good stuff. Is it a German thing? I don't know.)

Now, even within that there are rules. Of course I will talk about the good that other people do for me. I will talk about how nice people are, or how wonderful a meal was, or something. Exterior good things, sure, I'll talk about. But good luck, money, personal good issues, I keep inside. I don't want to jinx it.

Which is why, coming around to New Years, I won't also talk about my New Years Resolutions. I need to keep them in me, to let them plant their seed and grow and so I can make them happen.* Also, if I want to be downright honest, I don't want to say anything because I hate it when people remind me of a failed one, like Rich does. "Hey, why didn't you keep up with that?"
Easier to keep it to myself and challenge and berate myself if it happens or not, than hear it from others.

So, that being said. I have New Years resolutions. They aren't all that exciting, thy are basic. But I need to work on them for a bit to see if they work out.

*And hells to the no, there is nothing to do with getting pregnant or any of that shit in this, so just don't be thinking in that direction. Yeuch, I am so past that now.