Tuesday, August 19, 2014


It's August. It's hot. I forgot about the august doldrums. How freaking hot it gets here.

 Yesterday was my birthday.

My cousin Eddie came to visit us from England last week. I already miss him.

 I'm getting a root canal tomorrow. (another one. I'm expert at these things now.)

I'm hoping to get back to England again in Sept/Oct.

I still love my car.

Thursday, July 10, 2014


IMG_20140710_105643.jpg by karlakp
IMG_20140710_105643.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

This was the art in the lobby of the office. Where I would have worked had I stayed in Norway. I repeat: this is in an office lobby. Holy shit balls.


IMG_20140710_163630.jpg by karlakp
IMG_20140710_163630.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

I'm in Oslo. Got here late last night. Second hotel room better than first. First one was a garret on the top floor, under the roof, absolutely roasting facing east. If the windows were open I was cooked like an ant under a magnifying glass. Closed, I suffocated. It was 90f in there overnight. And it was charming, but made for a hobbit as I kept hitting my head on the roof beams. I called uncle and changed and they loved me to this. Ah, air conditioning!

Wednesday, July 09, 2014


IMG_20140708_191804.jpg by karlakp
IMG_20140708_191804.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Ti martoonis, please. A night out in London, at the Shard bar.

Sunday, July 06, 2014


IMG_20140706_175137.jpg by karlakp
IMG_20140706_175137.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Tate Britain.

Saturday, July 05, 2014


IMG_20140705_133328.jpg by karlakp
IMG_20140705_133328.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Hotel room in London. Rule Britannia!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

This had me howling with laughter. Absolute giggle.

Sunday, April 06, 2014

The posh martini and the olive that got away

IMG_00000905.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000905.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
The martini and the renegade olive.

As mentioned in my previous, more countryfied post, I've been traveling again.

Originally I was supposed to go to London on the 19th for a few days "me time" before a raft of meetings for work the 24-28th. But then Mom called, Dad had a set back, so I changed my ticket for London and went to Missouri to be with her for a few days. Dad's ok, but not really making the progress we would wish. I won't go into that, though. Anyhow, I got back from Missouri Saturday and flew to London the next day, to arrive Monday just in time for the meetings to start.

The meetings were long, and very busy, but interesting. They ended Friday afternoon, and i hared off to Winchester to spend time with my cousin, Eddie, and we did the usual shopping, bar hopping and so on, including spending time with his lovely group of friends. Winchester is a great town, I could live there.

Then back to London, for three days, for the 'me time" I had originally planned for. I splurged and booked myself into the Dukes Hotel, they had a pay 2 get 3 nights special.

I should mention, it seems a pattern with me, that i book into hotels that are known for having good bars. The Zetter has an extraordinary bar, and the Dukes is world renowned for its martinis. Ian Fleming used to drink there and they say that the martinis James Bond drinks are inspired by those at Dukes.

Don't believe me? Go here for a start. 

So, last Tuesday (April 1, which suits this story), after a long and successful day of shopping in London, I toddled down to the bar at the Dukes and ordered my martini. (I had been to this bar before with my friend Karen who lived in London at the time, and she and i had a great time there.) I can't drink gin, so ordered a vodka martini, and the bartender, Alessandro, rolls his cart to your table and mixes the martini right there, with a sense of pomp and circumstance. I was surrounded by posh Englishmen with fruity accents, and American financiers who kept talking stocks and margins and venture capitalism. Basically, I was the 99% infiltrating the 1%.

All was going well, the martini was excellent (and VERY STRONG), I had my mini iPad and a newspaper and little snacky things for my entertainment, which mostly kept me looking busy enough that the lofty denizens of the bar didn't really notice me listening to them and wondering at their...confidence? Arrogance? I don't know, it was pretty dang enlightening, what they talked about.

All was going well....until I reached for an olive. The little bowl of olives came with little olive swords, you're meant, of course, to stab the olive and eat it off the stick. I spied an olive. Picked up my sword. I aimed. I stabbed. The olive flinched, jumped, and hopped out of the bowl, onto the table and made a run for freedom onto the floor rolling allllllll the way across the bar to land at Sir Poshiford of Poshchester's handmade leather shoes clad feet. As it rolled, all eyes followed it...it was a traffic stopping olive. The bar got silent.

Oh God.

I sat, empty sword in hand, feeling like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when the escargot got away and she exclaimed "Slippery little suckers". Being me, of course, I said "Bollocks! It escaped!" and chased after it. I'm sure posh English people just wait for the help to pick up their renegade cocktail snacks, but here in 'Murca, we hunt and kill our own. So I grabbed the olive from Sir P's feet and placed it in the little white 'dead olive' plate, and it can be seen in the picture above.

I'm kind of glad I'm at an age now where embarrassment doesn't affect me that much. As it was in this case, I just giggled and texted a few freinds about it, hahahah the olive escaped, omfg, I'm such a dork, That kind of thing. Then i ordered another martini.

I was a third of the way through the second martini when I realised....I was drunk. And I hadn't eaten. Those martinis are STRONG and I am a lightweight and there was NO WAY I was going to make it through that second martini without some serious tipsiness happening.

As a happy drunk, this made me giggle, so there I was in the corner of the bar, giggling and texting and honestly really quite happy with things. I realized I would have to carefully plan my exit from the bar, as I didn't want to seem as drunk as I was, so I owlishly scouted the route, pre-thought out standing, walking and exactly how many steps it was to get out of there. I really had to think it through. After the Great Olive Roll I didn't want to reveal myself as part of the 99% any more than I had to.

So, after a somewhat giggly self count to three, I grandly stood from the chair, picked up my ipad, told the bartender my room number for the bill, measuredly strolled form the bar, and (once safely out of anyone's view) careened from side to side on the stairs up to my room, where I passed out face first on the bed, at 830, drunk as a lord from 2 martinis a la 007. Hats off to James Bond. A man who can hold his liquor.

(The next night, btw, I went out with my cousin and his friend Streaky, where more martinis were consumed and I slighty redeemed myself by getting back to the hotel at a more appropriate midnight, sans staggering.)

What I did last week

IMG_00000816.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000816.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
It's been a bit of a whirlwind lately. I went to Missouri on a bit of an emergency to be with mom as Dad had a set back, then the next day flew to England for meetings for work.

I did manage to get some time off, and this picture is from Winchester, where i went for a very nice walk through the Water Meadows to St Cross, an ancient almshouse/priory, still used as such to this day. This is the back side of the church there, and there were cows. Definition of bucolic, no?

I also spent a few days in London outside the work meetings, and stayed at Dukes Hotel, and had one of their world famous martinis. (ok, TWO of their world famous martinis.) That story and photo come next.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Lust (chair porn)

IMG_00000691.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000691.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
I want this chair. It would fit my house perfectly.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Satanic Selfie

IMG_00000002.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000002.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
Before the Gary Numan show I took this pic, which came out way evil than I intended. Scaaaaary eyes

Gary Numan

IMG_00000677.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000677.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
In which I saw Gary Numan last night, and was so close I could hear him singing without the mic.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

I invented the selfie

Yeah,  I said it. I invented the selfie.

Here's proof.


An entire blog (abandoned ages ago), dedicated to my big ass head in front of small (by comparison) landmarks, most all photos taken as selfies, before the dang term "selfie" ever existed. I was ahead of my time.

You are welcome world.

Royalties to be sent c/o The Texpatriate.

Music, a blog recommendation, upcoming travel and random stuff

Random post about stuff I am into right now.

  • Gary Numan's latest Album, "Splinter". Kicking my ass with the gothy synthy dancey goodness. I almost can't listen to it in the car. It makes me drive too fast.
  • NIN's latest, "Hesitation Marks". See above.
  • This blog. She's a friend of mine, ok, well, my friend Anne's older sister, who was always WAY too cool for me when I was in high school, I mean, she was a cheerleader and drove a Porsche, but holy crap this is the funniest blog and man can she write. Last few times I've seen her, I was all like, "Dude, I'm older now, and I'm cool like you, too, and you're dang funny and STILL gorgeous". I almost still feel shy around her. I guess we always remain teenagers to some degree. Anyhow, she had me lol'ing with some of her observations.
  • My friend Anne, she's so kick ass, and has been a lifesaver for me on my return to Texas. I'm taking her to see Gary Numan tonight.
  • I should repeat, I AM SEEING GARY NUMAN TONIGHT. I have wanted to see him live for YEARS, and all that time in Norway I never managed to make it to London for one of his gigs, and then, bang, here he is in Houston, in conjunction with SXSW. Yeah, I'm psyched.
  • (Girl Moment) WHAT WILL I WEAR????
  • My car. I still love my car. I am going to do some racing soon, at Texas World Speedway. Well, first some classes, THEN some racing. Best if you stay away from College Station in April.
  • I'm going to London next week. Yippee! Booked myself into a posh hotel (they had a pay 2 nights get 3 deal) and then a week of work meetings and then a weekend with my favorite youngest cousin (as opposed to my favorite older cousins) Vard in Winchester.
  • Strange to say, going back to Europe/UK feels as if I am getting an escape card back to civilization. Texas has been a bit hard on me lately, what with the ridiculous political ads on TV and the never ending far right rhetoric. I need a break.
  • I'm working out again, doing the weights, it's been hard getting back into it, but I have put on a few of the many pounds I lost and I'll be damned if I am going to buy MORE new clothes for yet another change in ass size, so nipping that in the bud (butt) and getting back on the weights.
  • That being said, ouch. I worked hard on shoulders and legs yesterday.
  • I got my hairs did. Cut off, to the shoulder, and blonded. I rather love it, though it is a big change, though as I work with mostly men, NO ONE  has said anything. Hmph. Men.
  • Rich is back in the US, back in Texas. Already has a job, a car and of course, the house and me. Living with someone again after 14 months of being alone is a bit strange, and we are having to adjust, but well, we neither of us are perfect (though at least I don't snore like  a warthog)(love you dear) so we will figure it out.
  • And repeat of above: WHAT WILL I WEAR TONIGHT????!!!!

Monday, January 20, 2014

my new favorite dish

IMG_00000419.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000419.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
Shrimp N grits. Yummy.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

walls covered in dollar bills

IMG_00000406.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000406.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
Johnson creek tavern, St Helena island

ON the beach

IMG_00000374.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000374.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
Me on the beach. First time I have been on a beach in years.

Beach scene

IMG_00000398.jpg by karlakp
IMG_00000398.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.
Hunting Island South Carolina

Sunday, January 05, 2014

One year

I realized, yesterday, that I have been in Houston for exactly a year. I realized it as I was unpacking the last box in my beautiful new house.

I love the full circle aspect of that. One year ago I left my beautiful apartment in Oslo (I am lucky in the housing I have had in my life) with no idea of what the future would hold except that I had a job. It felt like I was launching myself out of a plane with a parachute but no idea where I'd land. It's been one hell of a year. A year that deserves, at the very least, a bullet post. Hence, here is my year, chronologically, by bullet. (Only some exact dates, if dates aren't mentioned it's still in chronological order.)

  • January 4th, left my husband and everything I owned in Oslo, flying with two huge suitcases and my computer. Took a night in London because I wanted a night there and also, dang, did I really want to go to Houston? I think I was trying to delay it. I wanted one more night in London.
  • January 5th, arrived in Houston. Checked into temporary corporate apartment.
  • First time I have ever lived alone, I realized. 
  • January 7, started my new job.
  • January 15th. Bought my 2013 Subaru WRX. Best thing I have ever bought. 
  • Late February, flew back to Oslo to close out the apartment. That was so much more painful than I expected, not only because I really loved that apartment and the life I had there but also because....
  • on March 1 while I was closing up the apartment my cousin Hannah (wife of my dear cousin Edward) died in a horrible, stupid, senseless accident. 
  • I flew back to Houston, sad, heartbroken, all my possessions in a container that would cross the Atlantic and my cousin (who is like a second brother to me) facing his life in tatters.
  • That was a very low point.
  • Mid March I flew back to the UK from Houston to attend Hannah's funeral and be there with my family and my cousin Edward. I'm so glad I went, I was the only family member from the German side of the family to attend. 
  • In April flew back to London again for a work sales meeting. Got to see Rich for a couple days in London.
  • In April I also moved into a lovely house I rented from my sister in law's brother.
  • In April Rich joined me in the US for our nephew's wedding in Ft Worth. First road trip in the new car.
  • In May I went to Alaska for work. 
  • I also went to Trinidad. 
  • I should mention, the whole time, work was really stressful as I was learning a new job in a new area and I was (and am) still finding it surprisingly difficult. 
  • Also, the whole "expat moving home" thing is WAY harder than I expected. I still don't really understand the States anymore, and I am really annoyed at some of the policies here. There is no work/life balance and no job security. It adds so much needless stress. 
  • In June Edward came to spend a week with me. That was fun, we did a small Texas roadtrip and he got up to many hijinks in his quest to begin the healing after Hannah's death. 
  • In July I went to Missouri to see my parents, where I am truly grateful I got some quality time with my dad. 
  • I got two speeding tickets on one day on the way there, the cops were ruthless and out for cash. I was going less than 60 miles an hour both times.
  • In August I went to Trinidad for work. 
  • In July and August I started house hunting as the Houston market is really hot and interest rates were going up. 
  • I had no idea when Rich would join me and would only have the rent house until January, so I just decided to buy something and he would have to live with it. Buying a house, solo, but with a spouse out of the country, is not fun. You second guess yourself CONSTANTLY. 
  • In early August I bought the house, which it being a new house came with stipulation that I put a LOT of money down that was nonrefundable in any event (like, even if something went wrong with financing). That was really stressful but I had to proceed like everything would be fine, because I just knew it was the right house at the right time. 
  • In September work went nuts and I was busier than a one armed paperhanger in a windstorm.
  • I went to Paris for work, and managed to fit in a trip to London, where I saw Rich for a very nice weekend.
  • I was due to close on the house on September 28th.
  • On September 26th Rich flew in from Norway to be there for the closing and to help with the move, which was planned for the 1st of October. I got news I had to attend a work meeting on the first, so moved the move to the 3rd. I was stressed.
  • On the 26th, while I was at the airport waiting to pick up Rich, I got a call from my mom that my dad had a massive stroke. 
  • We closed on the house on the 28th.
  • My brother called that morning to say the stroke was worse than thought initially. 
  • I flew to Missouri on the 2nd. 
  • Dad's stroke was life changing, he lost all movement on his left side, with all its attendant problems. 
  • I was there for 10 days. Work just had to wait. 
  • Rich took care of the move. I felt guilty for having bought the house. If I hadn't bought it, I could have used the cash for the down payment to help my mom pay the bills and could have quit my ever more intensive job to help her with Dad's care. 
  • Mom pointed out that I needed somewhere to live, so don't worry about buying the house. "You need to live your life". 
  • I came back, Rich had handled the basic move, but I had a house full of boxes and shit to organize. We have a lot of stuff. It was very tiring.
  • October and November were very busy with work and getting the house in shape. 
  • I also had to close out the rent house and get it cleaned up.
  • I have moved 4 times in 2013. (Oslo, temp apartment, temp house, and new house.)
  • I had shelves built in on either side of the fireplace and on the landing between the bedrooms.
  • I went to Missouri for Thanksgiving. Dad was moved from the hospital to a therapeutic nursing home. He still was on a feeding tube, still frozen on his left, still with catheter. Not good. 
  • But there were signs of improvement. 
  • I am worried about how mom will pay the bills and I can't stop thinking that if we were in Norway this would not be a problem. Yes, I am a fan of socialized medicine. Dad's care will render Mom destitute...and we can't see a way out. 
  • I will likely have to help my parents financially for the foreseeable future. 
  • In November my cousin started his new job working in the Alps as a tourist advisor for a ski facility, a way for him to rethink his life, get some joy, and decide what he wants to do in future. I am so proud of him and his strength. 
  • Just before Thanksgiving I had a check up from the doctor and they found a lump in my breast and I had the worst 36 hours of my life waiting for the results of the sonogram they performed in addition to the mammogram. 
  • Everything was fine. I just have "dense breasts" and what the doctor thought was the lump was nothing. 
  • I learned the value of xanax those days.. 
  • December was crazy with work.
  • Rich came to Houston and we went to Missouri for a short Christmas visit with Mom and Dad. 
  • Rich also built me IKEA shelves for the top floor room which will eventually be the 'family room'. 
  • It looks awesome. 
  • Got news that Rich will be moving from Norway to Houston in February. 
  • It looks like he will be in good shape when he gets here, it was an amicable separation with his company. 
  • We bought him a car, a Subaru Forester, and it is a sweet ride, even if it is not as exciting as my WRX. But I like being a two Subie family. 
  • I had almost two weeks off at Christmas/New Years, (some work but mostly they left me alone) much needed, and I have got so much done on the house and feel like it is now my home. 
  • (Some stuff happened also in 2013 that I won't put down here.)
  • And then yesterday, as I unpacked the last box of the shipment, I realized, holy shit it's been exactly a year since I got to Houston. 
  • 2014 is looking much more promising than 2013. 
  • 2013 was a bitch of a year, and that is no lie.
I'm glad it's over.