Baking BooBoo

I've never hidden the fact that I am a better cook than I am a baker. Take tonight, for instance.

I have a few packs of chocolate chip cookie dough mix that I can bring out when I hanker for that specifically American Chocolate Chip Cookie experience. Some Pillsbury mixlet, where you just mix two tablespoons of butter and an egg into the mix and bake. Easy, right? Yeah, maybe for people who have patience and follow the damn rules.

I had some room temperature butter on the counter, so grabbed what looked like two tablespoons outta there and dumped it in to the mix, along with the egg. The butter, however, was not American room temp, but rather Norwegian room temp, which means, of course, hard as a rock. Aw, ratfarts. Well, it was already all mashed up and lumpy in with the mix, so I went ahead and stuck the whole bowl in the microwave on what I assumed was a low setting, to melt it a little. That was mistake number one. Too hot. The butter melted, as did the chocolate chips. So now instead of chocolate CHIP cookie dough, I have just plain ol' chocolate cookies. Well, that's ok, in the scheme of things, chocolate is chocolate no matter how you slice it, so I proceeded with the mixing.

And then we find mistake number two. I may have over-estimated the size of two tablespoons. So instead of the thick lumpy cookie dough one would expect, I sort of had cookie goo. Chocolate cookie goo. Tasted ok though. Hmm...tasted really good. Might just need to lick this here spoon for a bit. 'scuse me.....mmmmyumyumslurpyum. Mmm missed a spot. Yumee!

Ok ok ok, I should bake it at least a little. I'm not 8 years old, I can't eat the WHOLE bowl of goo. (Well, I could, but I will resist.) So I added a little flour to the goo and dumped it in spoonfuls onto the cookie sheet. Baked it and it just sort of spread itself around into flat floppy splotches that were not so much cookie-esque, as, well, really nasty something else brown and gooey.

They finally did eventually harden into something that I could at least pick up, but the transformation from basic American chocolate chip cookies into...that....was nothing less than startling. The best of intentions laid to waste, as it were. Really, I am normally better than that. I promise.

But I'm still eating them. They might look like shit, but they don't taste like it. Chocolate is chocolate, even in a melted gooey booboo-poopoo form.