You can go in to Oslo but you can't get out!

I don't know WHAT it is about Oslo, but every time I go into the center of town, something happens to the trains and I can't get out. Today, of course, was no different. I went in to hang out with Dave. (Woo! I met Dave! Dave is cool! Dave brought me GOODIES! I'll post a photo after this my rant.) I've been reading the guy's blog for as long as I have had my blog (4 years soon!) and you know the old adage about how every girl remembers her first...blog. His was my first blog.

Anyhow, Dave is awesome to hang out with. I immediately felt comfortable with him, even though he is taller than I imagined. I dunno, I guess I figured he'd be sorta small like his cartoons. Luckily he left the monkey at home.

We had lunch at the hard Rock (the margaritas at the one here are WAY weaker than the ones in Munich. One in Munich had me giggling into my hat, two here did...nothing.) After lunch we wandered over to Akerbrygge (the harbor) in a steady snowfall and I showed him the castle and the older part of central Oslo (and coincidentally also where he could get a hooker if he so chooses). Then I went back to catch the train (more on the amazing goodies he brought in next post).

I can only say this about catching the train: I could have flown to Amsterdam in the time it took me to get home today. TWO FRIGGING HOURS it took me to get home. The trains were "stor forsinkelt eller instilt" because of a fire somewhere. Well, ok, but how about 1) announcing this in ENGLISH for your tourists and 2) having someone around to answer questions about WHAT THE FUCK TO DO NEXT? Instead everyone had to rush into the line for tickets to ask questions. The lines were long and the chaos was large. I got stuck with a guy who could not think and move at the same time. He'd move... stop..... think...stop.. .move...stop... think...listen.. talk...think. I started making little "keep it moving" motions with my hands, like, "C'MON already guy!" He was horrible. He knew less than I did about what was going on.

He sent me to a train on track 9. Got on train. Train cancelled. Got off train. Back in line. Oh shit not HIM again. Sent me to train track 11. Train cancelled. BACK in line. Karla getting cranky. He SWORE the next train would go, though I asked for a taxi voucher. Train didn't go. Feet starting to hurt. Back in line. Him again. No effing way. I let another guy go ahead to have him and I waited for someone else, ANYONE else.

Finally got a different person and just said, "I want a voucher for a taxi please." She said, "There is a train on track 9". I said, "No." And looked at her. With a Clint Eastwood-like glint in my eyes. In the background I could have sworn I could hear the music from "The Good The Bad and the Ugly" playing. Karla wasn't fucking around anymore.

She wrote me a voucher. Quickly.

I am home. I cost NSB 700 kroners for the cab ride, and I wanted to ask the driver to go around the block a few times just to rub it in a bit, but I was too eager to get home and open the goody bag Dave brought me.