Monday, July 16, 2007

I'm scared to shop

Damn, y'all.

i'm scared to shop.

As one who has a fairly long retail history herself, what the hell is up with going shopping now? I mean, there's service and then there is smothering.

Today, directly upon walking into a store when Bookhart and I checked out the Domain, the new posh shopping area in Austin:

(perky sales girl)"Hi y'all! How are you doing? Ok, so, just to let y'all know we are having an AWESOME sale on shoes, so everything on the right hand of the store is like, TOTALLY on sale. And just so you know, all this stuff in the front of the store is like, new, so it's only been here a week or so and we think it's really, like, great. So, you know, if y'all need, like ANYTHING, my name is Tiffany and that is Britney and we are totally here if you need ANYTHING".

We left that store pretty much immediately and went to another one, a large posh department store, where i found a sales person to ask if they had a cafe or something where we could get a drink:

(sales person) "Um, no, like, we don't have a cafe or anything, but we have a special right now and would y'all like a 5 minute FREE eye treatment?"

(Me) "Um, no, I just sort of want a Coke".

(her) "Oh, well, no, we don't have a cafe but our new Soothing Eye Goo is really refreshing and I would love to give you a free treatment".

(me) "Does it involve anything I can drink? It's 900 degrees outside".

(her)(realizing I don't want an eye treatment i want a fucking COKE) "Oh, like, NO, but there's a Starbucks and there's a smoothie place and all sorts of restaurants right up the street".

(me) "grumble grumble". (then I got waylaid by a 2000 dollar purse with bits of crocodile on it, which I did not buy but it certainly was very tribal looking, in a bone through the lip sort of way)(by the way, as a rule I do not buy 2000 dollar purses, fyi.)

I swear, Bookhart and I are just gonna walk into stores now and when a sales person approaches us, we are going to dive under the nearest table and cover our ears and go "lalalala" until they go away. .

I don't think I want customer service anymore, I just want to SHOP.

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