random and a bye bye

Randomness today. Set your brain on 'shuffle'.

 

There is an interesting article in the Aftenposten about some naughty Brits in Northern Norway.  There is a stereotype in Europe about groups of British men who take cheap flights on RyanAir, etc., go somewhere like Prague where the beer is cheap, and totally misbehave. This pretty much ties into that stereotype. Behave, boys! And why on earth would you get that drunk in Norway? It ain't cheap here!

 

My new phone is smarter than me. I got it yesterday (one day turnaround for our IT dept, man they rule!) and I've been flummoxed ever since. It does everything but wash dishes. It might even do that, for all I know. The instructions manual is 170 pages long. Holy crap! I will now be forced to learn about BlueTooth, WLAN, GPS, and all that other techy phone connectivity stuff that usually makes me stick my head in the sand and holler until someone just makes it work for me. Between this phone and my job, my brain is hurtin' from all the larnin'.

 

My Mac is still away. I miss my iTunes.

 

Off to Munich this afternoon. I still don't really feel up for traveling, but I bet I will perk up once I get to my Mother Land (well, Mother's land, actually, it's Mom who is the real Kraut, I'm just half). I always feel an affinity for Germany, culturally it feels comfortable. And my German is just good enough to get me in trouble. But not good enough to get me out of it.

 

OK, that's it for now. Today has been a really busy day, all told, and I still have to get one a plane!

 

Check my Flickr (see link, to the left) over the next few days. I plan to send pictures from the new phone to it as a sort of running photo blog. Who knows what will show up?

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my baby is in foster care

I took the Mac to a place to  get it fixed yesterday. I swear to god it was like abandoning my baby.  They think that the Airport wireless card is bad and it needs a new one. I bloody well hope that solves the problem, otherwise we are going to pony up for something new.  Rich keeps using the dreaded 'D' word (Dell).  He never was much of a one for the Mac. Luckily we have my old Gateway as a backup, though it doesn't work with wireless, either. It's really quite fast plugged directly into the DSL, though.

It's going to be hard to not have my iTunes for one to three weeks. How will I keep up with my news? My habit is to listen to NBC Nightly News or Nightline on the way to work every morning. Not to mention my NPR 'Wait Wait Don't Tell Me' habit. I hope they take care of my little white 12' baby. I'll miss her...er, him. Uh, it.

It's been nice to be back at work, even if the mornings are damned hard. I don't know WHY I have such a hard time getting up. Part of it is that I haven't been sleeping too well. Anyhow, once I am AT work, I am glad to be there. I feel like I learn something new every day. Plus, I got word that they are getting me a cell phone. (I feel like I've been moved up from wooden boy to a REAL boy now.)  I think I picked out a pretty cool one. My friend Grant had one and I lusted after it, it's my first bout of phone lust. I told the IT guy at work about it and I got approved to have one. SWEET! Grant is a total early adopter, so I am  really excited to have something new that he has....until he gets something even better in a few months. He has a tendency to geek out and get new electronic whatevers fairly frequently. Me? Still thinking cd's are pretty awesome and hanging on for dear life to my turntable and records.

Rich might be coming down with a cold, which sucks as we are off to Munich this weekend. I'm practically forcefeeding him the Airborne, and he swears by this Zicam stuff you swab around your nose. I feel a bit sneezy too, but am studiously ignoring it, I am NOT going to get a cold after JUST having had the flu. That doesn't seem at all right or fair, does it?

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Ah yes, that's my home

Big article in the New York Times today about Texas being big and unwieldy and damned confusing for the Democrats to campaign in.

 

It makes me smile to know that my home state is about as big a pain in the ass as I am.

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quirks

Well, between the Flu from Hell and some pretty severe problems with the Mac's Airport wireless card, I have been a very bad blogger. Sorry. I either didn't feel like blogging or couldn't. I finally got on the phone with Apple (yeah for me, I still have almost a year left on AppleCare) and we did some stuff, including an archived reinstall of the OS, but none of it worked and the airport is as wonky as ever. I fear the next step is the dreaded Mailing In of the Mac.

 

Anyhow, be that as it may, I am hereby stealing (yet again) from Mr David Simmer, he of Blogography fame, and stealing his meme, 6 Quirks About Me.

 

Six Quirks About Me

 

1) I will only eat fresh, in fact, under-ripe fruit. If it's baked, boiled, canned, or otherwise touched by heat in any way, it will not be eaten by me. Yes, this includes pies, people. I will eat raspberry jam if it is not too lumpy.

 

2) I am afraid of monkeys, simians, apes, or anything of a monkey.proto human nature. I am also completely grossed out by anything with more than four legs or an exoskeleton, which includes all crustaceans and most bugs. (Crustaceans are nothing but giant water roaches, anyhow, and EW how nasty is THAT?)

 

3) I am a happy drunk, which rapidly changes to a sleepy drunk. Once I reach a certain point in an evening, I go rapidly from life of the party to girl who just wants to go home. I've been known to hit the sleep wall within five minutes. Then, NO ONE can keep me at the party, it's time for Cinderella to become a pumpkin. But I am never a mean drunk, not ever. I just...shut down.

 

4) I am very texturally sensitive. This applies to food, fabrics, anything you can touch. Food can't be mealy or lumpy (hence aversion to baked fruit) and I am SUCH a snob about fabrics, I can't even tell you. When shopping for clothes, texture comes first even over color or pattern.

 

5) I have 'sneeze hairs'. These are hairs in my right eyebrow and in the hair just at the edge of my forehead, where, if you pull just the right one,  I will sneeze.

 

6) I will spend an hour getting dressed and putting on makeup,  but if my hair takes more than 10 minutes, that is too much. I hate messing about with hair. Not that mine looks any different if I spend 5 minutes or an hour on it, anyhow.

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don't mess with bagels, please

Dammit.

I dragged myself to the local grocery store hoping they might have some Everything bagels. Sometimes they have them, and I must say they do a pretty good job of them. They have other kinds too, wierd ones, that I avoid, because a bagel should be sort of chewy and crispy and basic, no fluff and not too much whole grainyness. (Much as I love whole grain in other stuff.)

When I got there, they had some... I was psyched. But then, on closer analysis, the bagels were "Everything and jalapeno".

Everything and jalapeno? WTF?

I don't WANT Everything and jalapeno. I want Everything. Just Everything. Not Everything and jalapeno, Everything and paprika, wholegrain Everything and fucking pumpkins seeds. (The other day the "everything bagels" were whole grain with all these seeds and shit on top and they were NOT everything. They were OTHER thing.)

Why can't Norwegian cooks LEAVE SHIT ALONE. Just like they have food traditions here that no one messes with, bagels have their own traditions too and Everything bagels with jalapenos is just RIGHT OUT. It's bad enough they add parsley to the salsa, corn to the nachos and spinach to the tortillas....leave the damned bagels alone!

Dammit.

clawing my way forwards and back

I went to work for a few hours yesterday. Not sure if it was good or a mistake. I am going to take off today and tomorrow, though, as my head is killing me and the lethargy is pretty overwhelming.

It was good to see everybody at work, and I did get some needed things done, so that was good. Also, everyone was SO NICE. If you grow up in America, it's seen as a bit of a cop out to be sick from work, like, it's a necessary evil, but only kind of the wimpy ones do it (that's how you feel, anyhow), and certainly more than two or three days is not really done. (And that might be your whole sick leave for the year, one or two days). Even flu is a one or two day affair and you better be back and working soon!

 But here, people just ask how you are, if you are better, good to see you, and wow, this flu HAS sucked, hasn't it, and that's it. No guilt, in fact they just assumed I would not be in this week either and were surprised to see me. One of my co workers is still recovering from this flu after more than three weeks (he's pale and coughing like me) and my other one is just now getting it and I could see it all over him. We'll see him in two weeks. We probably should get a doctor's note, just to show that we aren't dying, that we can come back to work soon and that we haven't been in Barbados for two weeks, but it is nice to be treated like I'm not a loser, just a poor fucker who got stuck with the flu from hell.

I have to get better, though, and not in 4 weeks, like some say it takes to get over this, because we are going to Munich next weekend and i have to be able to have SOME energy, even if I won't be drinking like I had planned. I'm sort of thinking i need to cut back on the booze by a lot, it's been a bit much lately and it is kind of nice to feel free of it for almost two weeks now.  Also, I like me a bit skinnier and would like to keep it that way. Losing that 8 lbs was hard work and I am not about to put it back on!

___________________

 

Routines are alright, I guess. I just don't want them every day.

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I. Can't. Kick. This.

Fucking hell.

I ventured out of the flat this morning (first time out since I got back from Amsterdam last Wednesday ) to get a coffee and had to sit down and rest THREE fucking times just to get the strength to go to the coffee place. And it's about 100 meters away. By the time i got back home my head was swimming and everything around me was whirling.

I am really fucking tired of this. I had wanted to e back at work today. (Shit the "B" on my keyoard doesn't want to work.  Grrr...)  The getting coffee was a test to see if I was gonna make it. Guess not. Honestly, the idea of getting to the train station seems a major hurdle, even, and then sitting at my desk all day at work seems monumental beyond that. When did i become this sad little shut in afraid of the outside world?

Of course its no surprise that Mother Nature chose this month to give me the WORST Day Two EVER. Like, could I be any weaker or anemic right now? I'm so pale that the sheets on the bed seem positively colorful compared to me.

I've made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. I need to know what is up with this weakness. Rich will have to help me get there! God that's lame. I've gone from the girl who has no fear of traveling alone across the world at the drop of a hat to a woman who can't go to the train station without help.

I think I am depressed enough that i am going to go back to bed and watch.....Sixteen Candles. it's obviously the only cure.

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Day 8

Sorry for my abscence.

There's sick and then there is SICK and I have been SICK. I have not
been this ill since i was a kid in my parent's house. Poor Rich is
sleeping on the sofa and tending to me. Yesterday was really bad, my
temperature hovered around 102 all day and I really was thinking i
had to go to the hospital. Nobody can feel that bad for that long and
not die. Horrible.

it started last Sunday when I went to Amsterdam. I had a cough, it
sounded bad but wasn't painful or anything. By Monday, after I had
seen a museum that morning, I took myself off to bed as I was feeling
really punk. I stayed in bed the rest of the time, in my tiny
draughty hotel room with no tv, telephone or internet, except for
the horrible time at the airport Wednesday night where my fever
spiked and I was wearing three sweaters and a coat and STILL could
not get warm. Got home at 1am after my flight was delayed.

(Lesson learned? Usually when I travel I pick 4 star hotels that I
then never sleep in because i am too busy sightseeing. The one time i
cheap out, I pick a one star (admittedly charming and friendly) hotel
that I then end up spending ALL my time in because I am sick. No tv,
no internet. No one to bring me food, I had to slouch over to the
nearby mini market for SOMETHING to eat. Arg. I will always make sure
from now on that the hotels have something to offer in the way of
entertainment or room service in case of sickness!)

When I was in Amsterdam I took myself to the hospital (last Tuesday),
but they sent me home with some lame prescription pain pills and they
said to rest. Which I have been doing, It just keeps hanging on! I
can say if you ever visit the Netherlands and think you might get
sick, bring your own good strong American pills and potions, because
holy shit Dutch cold/flu medication SUCKS ASS. Might as well rub
orange juice on your face and call that a cure. Bullshit. The only
stuff I could get that slightly worked was an expectorant called
Fluimicil and it tasted horribly of orange that morphed into chicken.
it didn't stop the cough, just made it more productive for about 15
minutes. I would have killed for some Theraflu.

Anyhow, today I felt well enough to actually sit in the comfy chair
in the living room, which is a Big Step for me right now. Never
having been quite this sick, I'm now realizing how much I take my
general good health for granted. I've always been a pretty healthy
person, so to get knocked down like this is pretty eye opening. I
will do everything to avoid it happening again. I've coughed so hard
that my stomach muscles and my diaphragm hurts. Ever had your
diaphragm hurt? Kind of wierd. Like your innards or your ribs are too
tight or something

There is one small upside. I haven't eaten almost at all. Though I've
been hungry, I haven't had the energy or the desire to do anything
about it. So I've lost 8 lbs! Before today I hadn't had a warm meal
since Tuesday and even then I only had three bites (we went to a very
bad Italian restaurant, so it was part lack of hunger and part, ew.)
I'm so hungry it 's insane but I need to go easy because i have had
some pretty fierce nausea as well and don't want to bring that back.

I will probably have to take a couple more days off work to ensure I
don't relapse. I'm getting pretty tired of my bed.

Spend all of Valentine's Day in bed

You know I've always wanted one of those Valentine's Days where you spend the whole day in bed..... rolling around, all sweaty, hair messed up, don't know which way is up or down nor what time it is.......YOU know.

I just never thought it would be with the flu.

Well, happy day to the rest of you who can do it properly.

what i did in amsterdam

lame ass cold meds in amsterdam, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Fuck all. I had (have) the flu.

More later.

If I only had a brain....

I killed mine last night.

I am sooooooooooooooo hungover.

Work party. After work party. After AFTER work party. Stumbling around Oslo trying to get a cab home. Paying so much for a cab that my mind is boggled (what is left of it that is). Going out in Oslo and staying out til after the trains stop running means dedicating some serious cash to getting home. Over 120usd for a cab ride. OUCH.

However, as my way of justifying the expense (not to mention the obvious benefit of not having to sleep in the streets) is the fact that the amount of alcohol and food I indulged in for free more than covered the cost of the cab. (Champagne, wine, Guinness. Guinness. Guinness.)

It's the next day that is the real price you pay.

I really cannot do that ever again.

Tomorrow...Amsterdam! I always meet the nicest people there.

I know I KNOW I'm lame

Sorry for not posting much this week. I'm just not feeling it, you know? Not that things haven't been popping, in fact that might be part of my problem. By the time I get home I'm too damned tired to get out the computer (which is not working with wireless AT ALL and so we have to attach to the dsl cord) and be witty when all I want is a hot bath and sleep.

 

It was, still an interesting week.

 

Wednesday morning I went to a gathering at the Hard Rock Cafe for the results (ha!) of Super Tuesday. It was hosted by Democrats Abroad, Republicans Abroad and the Independents. (Independents not being joiners, there isn't really a group for them.) We had a big buffet breakfast and lots of speechifying. I haven't made any secret of the fact that I tend not to seek out Americans here, mainly because now that I am out of the US I sort of want to get to know people from OTHER countries, but it was nice to hear American accents all over. The press was there, but of course they only interviewed the Ambassador (who was there and seemed a pretty cool guy) and the Norwegian Americans there. They sort of skipped us non-Noggie Americans.

 

The informal vote we took of those present was a landslide for Obama, with Hilary next and then McCain a fairly distant third. Ron Paul got a vote, as did Huckabee. (Or as another blogger deemed him, 'Fuckabee' which still cracks my ass up.)

 

Honestly, I was really just in it for the breakfast. It ended up being more of a British fry up with bacon, eggs, baked beans, tomatoes and potatoes, though in a nod to our strange American customs they did have a jar of Skippy peanut butter out. Imagine my giggles when some of the press started taking pictures of the peanut butter jar, as that is obviously SO American to have that at breakfast. hahahaha.

 

The rest of the week has been taken up with machinations at work regarding moving offices and getting our new departmental set up figured out. Still in progress.

 

Rant for the week:

 

Yesterday I wanted to kill every teenager in Norway as they all decided, en masse, to get in my way no matter WHAT I tried to do. WHY do they all have to hang in giant herds of teenage annoyingness? Don't they have SCHOOL?

 Kids, I just want my damned coffee so GET OUT OF MY WAY! Why do 15 of you have to get coffee in a pack?? Can't you send the one to get the coffee and the rest of you go back to the parking lot to smoke cigarettes or make graffitti or whatever it is you kids these days do? (She says leaning on her cane.) SOME of us NEED the coffee to function, and you guys are pissing me off by interfering in my routine. And quit getting in my way when I am running for the train. I have to be somewhere, and it's obvious you are just moseying somewhere to loaf.  Make a space in your herd for us loners to get by!

 

And you, young man, pull your damned pants up. I don't need to see your bony butt. And sweetie, you are a gorgeous girl, so why would you hide your light under a bushel and wear those horrible sweatpants with pockets on the sides that make your cute young ass look double wide and droopy? I mean, maybe it's better than the skin tight low rise jeans you were wearing last year where I saw your Snoopy thong, but still...happy medium much? And all of you...take those damned hoods offf! You are not rappers!

 

Yes I am my mother. Bite me.

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global....something

Man has the weather been STRANGE lately.

Take Friday, for instance.

Rain. Snow. Rain. Snow. Rain. Snow. Pause. Rainsnowrainsnowsnowsnow BIG FUCKING SNOW. Snow "flakes" so big they were more like snow biscuits, or snow bombs. Al Qaeda snow. Attack snow. These big wet splatting snow bombs that would smack and splat all over you until you were soaked and cold. I've never seen snow that big. Then it stopped snowing. And the wind came in. Within two hours, all the wet and snow of the day (about 7 inches worth all told, between the rain snow melt etc.) was blown away and the sidewalks were dry as a bone.

Saturday morning? Snow. I went to work out in the early afternoon (SUN!!!) and the sidewalk to the gym was treacherous with freshly shoveled snow over ice. They hadn't graveled it after shoveling. It was like walking on an ice rink covered in feathers...any minute you knew you were done for.

This morning.....snow overnight followed by more snow all morning. A good 8 inches. Seems like it is sticking.

Snow. I'm still not good at walking in it. It's not genetically in me.

I've started watching season one of Six Feet Under. Not sure if I am going to work all the way through all the seasons or not. Might be a bit depressing watching for someone who is having a depressing winter already. But there aren't 6 seasons of "Cheer the Fuck Up You Old Bitch" so I gotta go with what I have.

finally the picture I've been waiting for

After all our festivities of the previous weekend (which is probably also the reason I feel so run down STILL) I finally have got a good picture of Rich and I together. Most of the photos taken were jokey ones involving strategically placed roses and the men who enjoy freeing them. (This expat life can get rather randy at times. That's what we get for hanging out with all these sophisticated Continental Europeans and British blokes. And yes, Scots too, Grant.) Anyhow, finally a respectable photo. Don't you love the ring of fire around my head?

And yes, there will be more randy ones once I get them.

Aaaa...AAAHHH...CHOO HOO!

I have needed to sneeze for three days now.

I have this wierd cold that isn't all that bad except for the constant never ending feeling that I need to sneeze. And I wait for it....and wait for it....and wait for it.....and it doesn't come. Then suddenly, when I least expect it or want it, WWAACHOO!!!! there it comes, loud, proud and not at all dainty. Yesterday the emergency sneeze overtook me when I took a sip of tea.....that was messy. Luckily no one saw.

The thing is I rather like sneezing. (C'mon you do too, admit it. There's something so climactic about a sneeze.) But, when you have the constant nose tickling twitching itching for three days, even me, an avowed lover of the sneeze, gets a bit weary of it.

Achoo.

Copmparison of Norway vs Austin food prices, part two

I'm back from the grocery store and have gotten the Norwegian prices for all the items on the Austin list. I tried to pick the cheapest storebrand and/or the most comparable to US standards. Exceptions noted below.

JANUARY FOOD PRICES (Austin vs Norway)

	Austin Norway(USD/nok)
1-pound bag whole carrots	79 cents ($1.65/9nok)
1 head green leaf lettuce, conventional not organic	$1.59 ($2.38/13nok)
2 pounds fresh broccoli	$3.58 ($5.50/30nok)
2 pounds Red Delicious apples, medium	$2.58 ($3.66/20nok)
1 dozen large eggs, Grade A	$1.99 ($4.40/24nok)
1 gallon nonfat milk	$4.29* ($8.80/48nok)
1 pound unsalted butter	$1.99 ($3.66/ 20nok)
16-ounce loaf whole wheat bread	$1.66 ($5.31/29nok)
4-pound bag granulated sugar	$1.52** ($5.13/28nok)
12-ounce can frozen orange juice concentrate	$1.39*** ($3.85/21nok)
15.5-ounce can kidney beans	48 cents ($2.75/15nok)
10-ounce can chicken noodle soup	75 cents# ($4.41/24nok)
18-ounce box corn flakes	99 cents ($3.66/20nok)
18-ounce jar smooth peanut butter	$1.57 ($4.21/23nok)
1-pound bag dried lentils	59 cents ($4.59/25nok)
1-quart jar mayonnaise (Hellman's/Best Foods)	$3.17 ($5.68/31nok)
1 pound ground beef, lowest fat percentage (per-pound price)	$3.99 ($9.17/50nok)
1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breasts (per-pound price)	$3.99 ($17.23/94nok)
1 (4-roll) package 2-ply toilet paper	99 cents ($4.59/25nok)
13-ounce can ground coffee, Folgers	$2.99 ($3.49/19nok)
TOTAL	$40.89 $104.12

*Milk is sold in litres, and 4 litres is around a gallon, so I did 4 of them at 12 nok each.
**Sugar sold in Kilos, around 2.2 lbs, so did two of those at 14 nok each.
***FCOJ not sold here, had to do a litre of fresh.
#They don't sell chicken noodle soup in cans ANYWHERE, so did cream of chicken.

Obviously it is very expensive to eat chicken, beef or lentils and to wipe your ass in Norway. It's not so expensive to drink coffee, or eat fruit and vegetables.

interesting price comparison challenge

I was reading the Austin American Statesman and they had an article about food prices having gone up in the past year, and how this was affecting a family of nine. I am posting their 20 item comparison list here. Tonight I will go to the grocery store here in Norway and see how much things cost as compared to Austin prices. I bet it will be interesting to see the difference! For right now, here are the Austin prices and I stuck the Austin price in kroners on the end. Wait til you see the Norwegian prices!

JANUARY FOOD PRICES (Austin)

	2007	2008 usd/nok
1-pound bag whole carrots	68 cents	79 cents /4nok
1 head green leaf lettuce, conventional not organic	$1.49	$1.59 /8nok
2 pounds fresh broccoli	$3.84	$3.58 /18nok
2 pounds Red Delicious apples, medium	$2.58	$2.58 /15nok
1 dozen large eggs, Grade A	$1.32	$1.99 /11nok
1 gallon nonfat milk	$3.17	$4.29 /24nok
1 pound unsalted butter	$1.89	$1.99 /11nok
16-ounce loaf whole wheat bread	$1.79	$1.66 /9nok
4-pound bag granulated sugar	$1.56	$1.52 /8nok
12-ounce can frozen orange juice concentrate	$1.29	$1.39 /7nok
15.5-ounce can kidney beans	44 cents	48 cents /3nok
10-ounce can chicken noodle soup	99 cents	75 cents /4nok
18-ounce box corn flakes	99 cents	99 cents /5.5nok
18-ounce jar smooth peanut butter	$1.80	$1.57 /8nok
1-pound bag dried lentils	50 cents	59 cents /3nok
1-quart jar mayonnaise (Hellman's/Best Foods)	$2.98	$3.17 /17nok
1 pound ground beef, lowest fat percentage (per-pound price)	$3.89	$3.99 /22nok
1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breasts (per-pound price)	$3.99	$3.99 /22nok
1 (4-roll) package 2-ply toilet paper	$1.14	99 cents /5.5nok
13-ounce can ground coffee, Folgers	$3.19	$2.99 /16.5nok
TOTAL	$39.52	$40.89 221nok

I can already tell that is ridiculously cheap by Norwegian standards. I wonder if I can even find peanut butter and a can of noodle soup?

Amster-Dam-Lutely! Mun-ificent!

I'm meeting a friend from Austin (Hi Patty!) in Amsterdam mid February. I'm also meeting another friend from Austin (Hi Julia!) in Munich end of the month. Two friends, two countries, one month!!!!!

Reunions! With good beer and stuff! (Stuff being the optimal word in Amsterdam.) (Evil grin.)

Turning out to be a good month, is February......

Lucky Dave

An unfortunate victim of our 'Pillow Series" of photos from Saturday night. Poor guy.

Dress 2

Image030.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

I was a little drunkered when I took this shot. There are more to come, taken by other people with real cameras. .

The evenings entertainment was provided by me and my friend Gilly. We would hijack a man, sit him down in the Chair of Honor and then we each would lean over one of his shoulders, thus providing a platform upon which to rest our bosoms. Look up, smile and "Click" photo history. Happy man's head nestling between pillows of warmth. The men's expressions are priceless, ranging from angelic innocence, bemusement all the way to 'wow how did I get here and can I stay forever?'.

It seemed no men were offended by this photographic artistry on our part, and indeed most sat down with swift alacrity when presented with our idea. (One man excepted, and he happens to be my husband. It's obvious my charms are not working on him anymore. Must either find new husband or new charms. Thinking new husband might be easier, considering charms are attached. )

Evening two was very similar to evening 1, with the exception of the entertainment (which ranged from charming and sweet to "ohmygodkillmenow!") and the venue. The meal was fish followed by beef served with millions of different kinds of wines and cognacs. everyone looked loverly and everyone had a great time.

We left the hotel at 2:20am in a company provided bus. It was snowing heavily. We had some problems getting home once again when the bus driver decided to take the LONGEST route home possible and offered special stops for the opportunists who asked. It took an hour to get home and we all almost rioted when he tried to pass the main bus station in our town to drop people off at the office and *then* backtrack back to the bus station. Everyone (we pretty much all wanted off at the bust station not at the office!) was all "Aw HELL no, you stop here FIRST, THEN go on". However this sentiment was voiced caveman style with a roar of displeasure as he passed the turning to the bus station, and luckily he got the hint and came back.

We finally got home at 3:30 am. Were awakened at 9:45 am by our neighbor blasting AC/DC "Back in Black". I asked him to turn it down. If I can clearly hear the lyrics through two rooms and a firewall, that is TOO LOUD.

I am now about to make Hangover French Toast. I am wearing a wifebeater tank top and stretchy pants. Yesterday's dress left me a little worse for wear.... I have bruises on my shoulders from the weight of the bra straps groaning to hoist the girls up to the proper level required by the dress. Breasts do not naturally sit that high. (Friday's dress was much more comfortable and au natural). So today is soft clothes only. My hair still has hairpins in it from my makeshift yet successful updo of last night. I thought i got them all but keep finding more. I have leftover eyeliner on, it is giving me a rock and roll edge. That coupled with the wifebeater and wild hair is definitely giving me a "last night's groupie" look.

I need a nap.

all dressed up

Image040.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Phone cam shot of me getting ready for Friday's party at the grand. I never did manage a full length shot.

1 down 1 to go

Oh good God. I do NOT know how socialites and fancy people do this. I've been to one of my two fancy dress events this weekend and I really just don't know HOW I am going to do it all again tonight. It's not merely the hangover ( I really DID try to go easy, but it all caught up to me!). It's the staying up late and the trying to make yourself look different and better than usual and the fuss and bother with the clothes and the overcoming the TIREDNESS!

Last night's do was at the Grand Hotel and it was very lovely. The food was very good, even though the first course was called "Dampet Piggvar"which sounds horrible to an English speaker. It turned out to be a very yummy steamed fish. The main was nice rare beef, thank god they didn't mangle it by overcooking it. It was yummy.

I ended up wearing the brown dress (Dress Two) LAST night on the request of Richard, who thought my other dress would be better for his do. (I'm thinking it's because it's a bit more titulicious, if you get my meaning. His party tends to be a bit of a boob competition, who can hoist 'em highest and show the most cleavage without showing any pink bits. My company event was a bit more demure in that respect. ) I felt like a princess in my brown flowing dress, even though it seemed to have a disturbing tendency to get longer as the night progressed. Or was I just slouching?

We spent the night at the Grand, which was very nice. The room was small but well appointed. Only problem was the pillows. In a room that cost that much, with such a comfy bed, you'd expect pillows that were less board like and more, I dunno, pillowy. God the pillows SUCKED. Felt like someone folded a towel and shoved them in a pillow case. The bathroom was gorgeous, tiny tiles in black and white, very nicely done.

Best bit was getting to have breakfast in the Grand Cafe. It's this gorgeous old cafe that was Ibsen's hangout, and it is very elegant. The breakfast buffet was huge and varied and so we totally pigged out and it helped our heads alot. I'd stay there again just for the breakfast.

Anyhow, last night was fun, getting home was heinous because the trains were all messed up AGAIN and so my nap was delayed by over an hour as we hopped from train to train trying to get somewhere, ANYWHERE near home. Finally managed a nap.

I am once again showered and am about to embark on the hair debacle again. I really am a hair idiot. By some miracle it turned out ok last night but I was having a minor freak out getting ready because I could not believe my hair turned l out hat wonky. Something fell into place at the end though. Let's hope for another such miracle tonight. Oh and I do have pics from last night, though they are in someone else's camera. I hope to have them soon. I'll post one that I took with my cell phone in a mo'.

party weekend and purty dresses

I've got two formal events to go to this weekend. One Friday night (my work party)  and one Saturday night (his work party). Sunday I've marked 'hangover' on the calendar.

 

So, the big question is, of course, what to wear? Yes, boys,  this is a girl's blog and clothes are very important to me. My girlfriends and I that are attending these events have been twittering about what to wear for weeks. My decision was made over Christmas when I found some dresses at those miraculous outlets at Woodbury Commons outside New Yawk. It was a foregone conclusion that of COURSE I would not wear the same dress on both nights. I mean, yuck!

 

Night one, which is my work party, I figure I should mind my p's and q's a bit and not go full on va va voom. I mean I do WORK with these people after all. So I've decided on a dress I've had for a while (that I asked my mom to send me as it was in storage with her), that I wore previously to some gala event in Austin. It's a long black velvet column by Carmen Mark Valvo, edged around the arms and the deep v neck in gold. It has a matching shawl in black velvet with gold edging. It's very simple, classically elegant and curvy, though it will require a certain amount of  supportive lycra in strategic places.  

 

I found some cute gold shoes to wear with it, after a fairly exhaustive search where I kept saying, 'I want shoes like the ones I saw in that shop window in the next town'.  Then it dawned on me, why don't I just BUY the shoes in the shop window in the next town? So I did. They are not too high heeled, not too shiny and simple enough to wear with my formals or with cute sundresses in summer, so score for me. Also, I can wear them on Saturday night with Dress Two. See me being all economical and shit?

 

Dress Two was one of the two I got in New Yawk over Christmas. It's BCBG, a warm brown color in a stretchy halter neck style.  The bodice is very drapey and tight, almost like a swimming suit that Esther Williams would have worn, and then it all merges into this fantastic very full skirt that I can hold up to shoulder height with both hands and still have lots of drape left in the skirt. A dancing dress for sure. It was on deep deep discount, mostly because I am pretty sure people picked it up and thought it was too long and thin to be wearable...but I am tall and that dress stretches like a mother fucker. (This tactic has served me well in the past, picking up the thing that looks impossibly long and skinny on the hanger but it has stretch out the wazoo.) I'll wear it with gold accessories as well. (I'm testing out nail polish as we speak...and no I did not spill any of it in the bathroom this time.)

 

The other question is, what to do with my hair? I'm a hair idiot, in that if it takes more than a quick blow dry and some goo it ain't gonna happen. So I thought I would make an appointment with a hairdresser for one of the nights and get my hair done by a pro. But then, considering costs, and the fact that all the hairdressers ever do with me is to dry my hair with a diffuser to max the curls out and not get frizz, I decided to just go buy myself a hairdryer that had a diffuser, learn to use that sucker, and do my own big curly hair for the nights. Thus the amount I would have spent on a hairdresser is now sitting in my bathroom in the form of a Vidal Sassoon hairdryer with diffuser. I used it this morning and can see how that thingy does make a difference. Is this the beginning of Karla's Good Hair Era? I dunno. It's sort of a long boring way to dry my hair. I don't know if iIhave patience to do it every day.

 

Of course, all this depends on me not falling and breaking my ass on the ice. It is SLIPPERY out there. One of my co workers fell and badly broke his leg last night. A cast just would NOT match my outfits, so I need to be careful not to follow his example.

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to my scottish friends

The title of this article cracks me up. Somebody at Yahoo has a sense of humor.

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I heart Dave and here's why

I'm sure by now most of you have, at some time or another, checked out one of my favorite bloggers, Dave, who writes and illustrates Blogography.com.

Today he had me spitting my cereal out all over my computer in laughter. What a hilarious post. I too have never understood that "I can haz cheezburger" stuff, and I think Dave skewered it dead on with this image. I am posting it here and only hope I am crediting it right. Don't wanna piss Dave off. I like him too much.

Further research on Nacreous clouds

Everyone in the offfice today was agog at the beauteous sunset we had yesterday. I did a bit more research on them, and here is an interesting article in the Guardian UK about them...and why, though still rare, they are not as rare as they once were.

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no excuses about voting now, expats!

American expats can now vote online.

 

Go to Democrats Abroad and join up by Feb 1 so you can vote too. And it does not cost anything to be a member.....so no excuses not to joIn!

 

My honest hope is that Obama and Clinton will join up and run as Prez and Vice Prez...and I honestly don't care all that much who is what (though I lean towards Obama as Prez), as long as we don't have another Republican. Ron Paul is interesting, my Dad sure likes him, but I don't think he will get enough votes, no matter how high the hopes are. The US is a two party system and people are too afraid to vote any other way. And the system doesn't really support any other way anyhow.

 

I won't come home if another Republican gets voted in, so if you want me to ever move back to Texas, ya better get your vote on! (This means of course, if you hate me, vote Republican. Kick your own self in the ass!)

___________________

 

Routines are alright, I guess. I just don't want them every day.

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amazing sunset

I mean seriously.....

Tonight we had one of the most gorgeous sunsets I've ever seen. It's called a nacreous cloud formation and only happens in cold (very cold) conditions. It's pretty rare...not as rare as the Northern Lights, but just as specific in where it can be seen. Apparently it's also not very good to see them as they show ozone formation...I couldn't quite get the technical jargon but it seems like they are implicated in the formation of ozone holes!





Beauty with a dark implication. Hmm. I will call them Goth clouds.

There are more pics on my Flickr page. (Link on left.)

window of death, freak magnets and two dicks.

Window of death: On the way home I pass this very posh store with dresses in the range of $500 and up. (And honestly, how fucked up is it that it doesn't seem all that bad to me anymore? I mean, 3000nok for a dress? Eh. Seems doable! (slaps forehead) I've been here too long!) Today, I noticed, the window of this posh store had been changed and was all about the death of some animal or another. They had bone bracelets, some coral, fur coats, fur vests, fur throws, flokatis, sheepskin lined boots, fur lined boots and a chair made out of antlers for it all to sit on. I have to say, it gave me the willies. Big time.

Freak Magnet: Of course, before I could even GET home I had to face the fact that I am the freak magnet of all freak magnets. Today I had the misfortune of sitting next to a guy who decided he was going to singlehandedly save Africa from itself....by responding to EVERY Nigerian spam message he ever got, and roping in other people to "help". Seriously, he had all the emails printed out. He was on the phone ALL the TIME, acting very important and nattering on about needing the 35k Euro IMMEDIATELY and to "make sure they are all printed in correct color and do not smear" (!!??). (I'm now thinking that maybe he was the guy on the European end of the scams, the one you are supposed to meet in Amsterdam or wherever and feel like it's all trustworthy and on the up and up and whatever?) In between pompous authoritarian phone calls he tried to pull me in to a discussion about conspiracies, exactly HOW he was going to save Africa, and how Africa has been screwed by the US and Europe for centuries. (True, I suppose, but I don't want to hear about it on the train from a scam artist.) He wouldn't leave me alone. Even though I did the international sign of "fuck off" which is to put your iPod buds in your ears. Damn thick headed scammer idiot.

Dick One: It was inevitable, I suppose, that I got the George Bush question from Mr. Thick. As any American who travels knows, the question is always carefully worded at first.... "So, what do you think about George Bush?"..... and then it goes into a diatribe against America rapidly from there, always ending in, "But I don't fault the American people though I do wonder why they voted for him a second time." Then they always look at you as though you, the token American on the train (bus restaurant, street, whatever) has the answer. Which I don't. And they always wonder why the Americans they meet in Europe all hate GWB too. (That I do have an answer for...it's the intelligent, liberal Americans who tend to travel and experience other cultures. The Bush voters stay home, trust Homeland Security and build bomb shelters for the coming Act of Terrorism. Cuz there's scary folks out there in the world, tryin' to kill all us fine upstandin' "murcans!)

Dick Two: Text message I got from a beer buddy today:

Good reasons not to be a penis!
1)You're bald your whole life.
2) You have a hole in your head.
3)Your neighbors are nuts.
4) The guy behind you is an asshole.
5) Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint!

rant

I feel like a good ol' fashioned rant. If you don't feel like reading it, bugger off. I'm releasing some angst here.

1) To clothing designers:
Hi. Just so you know, I hereby refuse to wear any of the following:
Smocks. Tunics. Baby Doll Dresses. Things that hang from the shoulders with no definition for the body underneath. Skinny jeans. Low rise jeans. Bubble skirts. Empire waists.

Seriously, people, baby doll dresses are just insulting. I am neither a baby nor a doll and I don't want to dress like a 5 year old. I know making these shapeless clothes is cheap and easy as you designers don't waste time and labor with tailoring and such, but judging by how many baby doll dresses I see on the deep discount racks, you better shape the hell up and get some clothes out that women want to wear and FAST. None of us like that shit and we aren't buying it anymore. And PS MAKE ROOM FOR BOOBS!

2) Apple. I am pissed at Apple. Send out a fix ASAP for my wireless that will not work. Or at least, it won't STAY working. It will come on for a bit and then just drop the wireless signal like a hot potato. I've researched it, I've called Apple and I've read many many forums. I've tried every suggested fix (that I understand). You guys at Apple put out an OS upgrade somewhere down the line that has made my wireless on my iMac unstable and it's annoying the FUCK out of me. Seriously, this computer? Pretty much a brick unless I want to be tied to a cable coming from the wall. (And no it's not my wireless router because it works fine via cable and other computers work fine on it.) SEND OUT A FIX FOR THIS! Why would I buy any of your other stuff if you don't support what I have already got?

3) The weather. Seriously, this sucks. Snow, then rain. Snow, then rain. Wet or ice. Wet or ice. I'm tired of ugly shoes, ugly coats and feeling ugly in weatherproof clothes.

4) I want sun.

5) I feel fat and pasty and too pale and sluggish and I hate winter. I have a zit on my chin. I want to sleep.

6) There's nothing good to eat in the this damned flat. The flat in which there is STILL a giant hole in the wall and ceiling and there has been NO WORD as to when they are going to fix it.

7) I want to go home to Austin and live in my OWN house in my OWN state and get back to my normal life. Yes there is much I like about this expat life, but sometimes I miss home so much it makes me hyperventilate. Lately it's been very strong, the missing my house. The fact that I have to rent out the house in Austin gives me bad dreams at least once a week. It's my biggest point of stress. I love my job, the friends I have here, the apartment I live in, etc., but none of it is permanent, none of it is where I will be in 5 years, and I would really like to be able to feel settled and not worry that the rug is going to be pulled out from underneath me at some point without my being able to do anything about it. The most frustrating question I get asked is "Where (and when) are you moving next?" I never have an answer. And people look at you funny when you can't answer such an important question as that. I hate that lack of control in my own life. Shouldn't I have some control somewhere? It's not too much to ask to get a polite heads up somewhere?

8) A big "fuck you" to the following:
The IRS, for your lame tax raises on expats and invasive paperwork. The US for making expats pay taxes, when no one else in the world does that to its expat citizens. Homeland Security. What a joke. Mike Huckabee, because you suck. George Bush because you suck more. Hillary, because you really should be better than you are and I want to like you but just find myself not trusting you. And I am ALL about the woman power, believe me. My period. I really hate that. Why have a period when it's not doing anything for me anyhow? I don't really appreciate the constant reminder that yes, I am not pregnant and probably will never be again. Microsoft for not being better than Apple so I can tell Apple to go fuck themselves. Outlook, I hate Outlook. Fundamentalists of all sorts. DVDs that do long ads and previews at the start of the DVD that you can't fast forward through or cut out of to go directly to the menu. (HBO this means you.) Carbs. Fuck you carbs, I love you and you make my ass bigger. Companies that send me constant emails even when I opt out of their subscription services. My genetic disposition to get stressed out. My ass. Rude old Norwegian ladies, some of whom I met today. (Seriously, learn how to queue bitches!) Everyone on my afternoon train home. I hate you all. Paris Hilton. You just annoy me. Being 39. Because everyone just assumes that you are REALLY over 40 and just lying about your age. As if.

Ok this is getting bigger than I meant it too. There is a dog or a very loud child howling outside. I sort of wish I could too.