Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I. Can't. Kick. This.

Fucking hell.

I ventured out of the flat this morning (first time out since I got back from Amsterdam last Wednesday ) to get a coffee and had to sit down and rest THREE fucking times just to get the strength to go to the coffee place. And it's about 100 meters away. By the time i got back home my head was swimming and everything around me was whirling.

I am really fucking tired of this. I had wanted to e back at work today. (Shit the "B" on my keyoard doesn't want to work.  Grrr...)  The getting coffee was a test to see if I was gonna make it. Guess not. Honestly, the idea of getting to the train station seems a major hurdle, even, and then sitting at my desk all day at work seems monumental beyond that. When did i become this sad little shut in afraid of the outside world?

Of course its no surprise that Mother Nature chose this month to give me the WORST Day Two EVER. Like, could I be any weaker or anemic right now? I'm so pale that the sheets on the bed seem positively colorful compared to me.

I've made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. I need to know what is up with this weakness. Rich will have to help me get there! God that's lame. I've gone from the girl who has no fear of traveling alone across the world at the drop of a hat to a woman who can't go to the train station without help.

I think I am depressed enough that i am going to go back to bed and watch.....Sixteen Candles. it's obviously the only cure.


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