Saturday, October 20, 2007

Results of going to the pub after a week of not drinking

Oy vey.

I went to the pub last night and had some beers. After a week of low carb and no beer, those first two beers (they have a special Oktoberfest on tap this month, a lovely dark malty something or other) went down like manna from heaven. I was moaning they were so good. Mmm...beeer. I also had a wonderful meal, the dagen's rett was some yummy meat something with a creamy mushroom sauce and POTATOES and it went down a treat. We all used our fingers to get the last bit of sauce off the plate. (Well, some did.) (Not me, of course.) Then I had more beers.

After that it gets a bit sketchy.

I remember grabbing my friend Graham's tongue when he stuck it out at me. (THAT, by the way, was a big mistake. You really can't wash the feel of your friend's tongue off your fingers fast enough, no matter how much soapy scrubbing you do, fyi.)

There was yet another discussion about penises (usual Friday fare), and then some discussion of bra sizes and their similarity to battery sizes, both of which make no sense. (Like, for instance, if a DD bra is bigger than a D, wouldn't it then be logical to think that an AA bra is larger than an A? But no, AA is SMALLER. This also works for batteries. And why even HAVE a DD bra when you could just move straight on to E. Why EE when you could just go easy on the letters and use F? And why is there no CC or BB bra size? And why does this carry over to batteries, ie, there is a AA size and an A (but strangely no B battery size) a C battery and a D battery? Anyone? Anyone?)

It is very interesting comparing boobs and batteries with a bunch of male engineers. Their logical way of thinking (I mean..bras and batteries as a comparison? What woman would EVER think of that?) always makes me look at things in a new (and admittedly twisted) light. I love pub nights.

At some point in the evening someone told me my hair smelled good so I started walking up to everyone I knew saying "Smell my hair" and shoving the top of my head at their faces. I have a feeling that might have been fairly alarming for the one I was aiming at, as they risked getting head butted by a fairly wobbly Karla. I hope I didn't crack any noses with my large good smelling cranium.

After my fourth (or maybe 5th I am not so sure) beer I weaved my way over to Rich to tell him I "wash goin' home" and he said he would be home right after me, he just wanted to finish his beer. Cool. So me and my new cool boots (bought on sale yesterday and with a bit of heel and very unlike me, so I felt all like Sexy Shoe Girl all night) wobbled our slow way home. (I have to walk slow and slinky in heels or I fall over. It certainly gets me attention, but I am not actually asking for it, I am just trying not to land flat on my face.) I got home by about 11:30 and collapsed into bed, wondering where the hubby was. Fell asleep immediately and was awakened at 1:30 by Rich flopping into bed next to me. He must have nursed that last beer for two hours!

Feel pretty good this morning after waking to my cell phone beeping from Grant texting us at 8:45 AM (Grant you will pay for this) replying to texts from last night. He didn't show up at the pub, having mysteriously gone "shopping in Oslo" which I am, of course, going to query him intensely about. I made a big ol' mess of bacon and eggs for brekkie, yes, it's back to Low Carb again. Sigh.

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are moderated. No spam gets through. Don't try it. I Love comments from real people though! Thanks!