Sunday, October 28, 2007

Emasculation of a tiny dog

Yesterday I was out running an errand and this woman walked past me with this teeny tiny little dog on a leash. I mean, if this dog weighed more than two pounds I would be surprised. It was an adorable little thing, not a chihuahua but some sort of miniature terrier or something. For every one step she took it had to take about 30, so it was trotting along at a good pace. The little dog literally stopped traffic, everyone who saw it pointed and oohed and aahed at its insanely stupid cuteness. It was like a real dog overbred and reduced to a living walking stuffed animal.

It was on one of those leashes that has some give on it, you know the hand held ones that release and retract as you need them to. The dog was so small and light weight that the lady holding the leash probably never felt when the dog paused, which certainly could be problematic for the poor little mite.

Especially when it wanted to take a piss on a lamp post. So the little dog paused, as boy dogs are wont to do, lifted its leg and began pissing on the very bottom of a lamp post. (I man, a dog this small got maybe two inches from the ground.) The lady kept walking, not noticing that little Spike (or whatever) was marking his territory, and Spike was yanked, mid-piss, away from the lamppost, leg still up in the air, pee whizzing away from the target, and the other three legs dragging, desperately trying to finish his instinctual markings. His whole tiny little body practically quivered with frustration and he let out an angry "MEEF!" of a bark, which did no good. The lady didn't even pause. Spike resignedly put his leg down and resumed his rapid trot after his harsh mistress.

In between my giggles at the absurd little scene, I couldn't help but think how hard it must be for the little tyke, just trying to go about his manly business, pissing on stuff and being a boy, yet at the same time being constantly emasculated because of his cuteness and tiny size. Poor little dude can't even piss in peace without being whisked along by his leash. I mean, a cat could kick this dog's ass with one swipe of its paw. The dog doesn't know it's a toy, it just thinks it's a boy dog, meant to piss on things and hump ankles. Poor sad little freaky dog.

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