Friday, August 03, 2007

do over!!!!

Remember when you were a kid and you were playing a game, like hide and seek or something, and something happened that no one could quite decide was fair or not, so someone yelled "Do Over!" and you did it all over again and it was like the unfair thing never happened?

Can I have a do over for this week? Can I please? Somebody has to call it for me.....Dave, I nominate you, just holler "DO OVER!" and I can pretend that this week didn't happen and I can have another chance at it.

I am in a ROTTEN mood. Like, a wearing black, getting a tattoo, going to a dive biker bar and kickin' some ass, rotten mood. A total don't FUCK with the BABYSITTER mood.

Of course, I am OLD, and not really much of a one for kickin' ass, so now a rotten mood means getting my iPod out and listening to the MOST FUCKED UP ANGRY MUSIC I can find, and walking really fast (when I was in Texas I would drive really fast for half and hour or so with the music cranked, but I sold the car and so now I have to walk, dammit) and doing slightly, passive-aggressively mean things as I go along.

Things like:
Petting a kitten but rubbing its fur the wrong way so that it gets cranky.
Making scary faces at babies (when their moms aren't looking) and making them cry.
Pulling a pretty flower out of the ground and stomping on it. Really hard.
Spitting on baby birds. Noisy little fuckers anyhow.
Flipping off nice old ladies, but only behind their backs when they aren't looking.
When a puppy rolls over for me to pet its tummy....I don't. Ha, take that!
Tossing thumbtacks into the road.
Salting slugs.
Littering. (Biodegradable only, must think of the earth.)

I know, I KNOW, I am a holy terror, but that's how I roll, yo.

You shoulda seen me when I was younger and I not so responsible. Then I littered PLASTIC. Uh huh, yeah....... how you like me now, biatches.

Now excuse me while I go find something black and scary to wear to the pub.

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