Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Just when you are at your ebb....

....I am assuming "ebb" is the low point, right?

Anyhow, I have been in a funk for about two weeks now. The weather has been overcast and rainy and chilly, nothing is materializing with my "job", my energy is nonexistent. I look like crap, I'm tired and am frankly bored. I smell like eggs because I am forcing myself to eat two of them every morning in an affort to get into the breakfasting habit. (Urg, I don't like breakfast. At least, not FOR breakfast.) I think about making jewelry or starting that writing project that I keep thinking about, but I just don't feel that creative spark. Even blogging seems to be a big effort. I've been oddly stressed and slothful at the same time. I feel discombobulated and out of sorts.

I've been going for walks whenever the weather holds out long enough for me to get out there, and that usually perks me up. I listen to my podcasts and think about whatever pops into my head. It's usually very therapeutic. I went out today but I just couldn't get into it. I felt like I was heaving myself along the paths. So I gave up and went to the local shopping center. I tried some retail therapy and that did not work as there is nothing I really like or need or want, and what I would consider buying is either WAY too expensive or isn't cut right for my body. (I would KILL for a nice American mall at this point.)

Imagine how I felt, then, after a completely unproductive egg-smelling, energyless, nothing-fits-I -am-a-fat-cow day, when I checked the mailbox and found that Bookhart sent me a care package from the US! I burst into tears just seeing the notice. It was like Christmas coming suddenly on the worst day of your life. I pulled myself together enough to literally RUN to the post office to get my goodies:
NONE of it is diet food, it's all processed and colorful and bad for me and I thank her from every fiber of my being for sending it to me! I've been CRAVING Fruit Loops because my dish washing soap smells like them. She sends me sponges because the ones here are crappy foam rubber ones and they squeak and feel icky and I hate them. She sent me dried onions because they cost, like, $8 for a small bottle here. Kraft Mac and Cheese!!...'nuff said! Fruity Pebbles! Cherry Twizzlers! Cherry Sours! Big Red Gum! Taco and guac mix!

The best part, though, is the love. She sent me a big box of love. I'm verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic.....

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