um...what?

I lifted this from a random blog, this is an actual posting:

okiee...waolao...moi damn it brother was lookin wat i rith sibei irritating wan seh..okiee..relax...err..okiee..err..yi peng tomorrow perform in front
of his class..he need mi to bring CD to him waolao...very lazy to bring..waolao..sianzz seh...okiee..todae moi teacher sibei knn wan seh i dont lyk moi chinese teacher..ta mar de..sibei fark wan seh...knn la..wa kOrh man..
nola...moi bro de teacher more irritating..lucky..she hOrh waolao..

Can anyone tell me what it means? Why do people post these kinds of things? Is it another language mixed with English? And then there was this, another real posting from a real, God I hope they don't find me, blog:

:weLcuM tO mA bLog::CaHaYa LibRagErL 91::
i hoPe yA aLL wiLL eNjoY rEaDiNg mA poSts...
mA bLog maY noT sEem aTtracTivE aS i'M noT a pRo...
baSicaLLy,mA bLog isH aBouT muA daiLy LiFez..waT'z haPpeNing..eTc...
daT's aLL i guEss?

Can anyone read that? What is up with the caps/no caps?

Why do people write like that and think that any semi-literate person is going to either care or understand what they have written? Or am I just getting old? Is this teen speak? Is this the "gag me with a spoon that's so grody to the max" speak of the new millenium? (And yes, I know how freaking old that makes me sound, so just bite me, ok?)

Compared to these folks I seem quite erdu...erut...erudite. Yeah, erudite. Uhuh.

sO rEad my ShiZnit and bE Kewl...

Ouch that hurts my brain. I'll just stop that right now, as it makes me wanna, (oh, here's a new word that I did like very much) vurp.

Vurp. I think it's a mix between vomit and burp, you know when you burp and there's chunks? Yeah that.

Those blogs make me vurp.