Thursday, April 07, 2005

Shopping, or, why they don't make girls' clothes for girls

I am annoyed, confused and perturbed. Answer me this question: in today's tits and ass obsessed society, how come they don't make room for tits and asses in women's clothes?


I am a curvy girl. I got boobs, I got a bum, and I have a small waist. I have a girlie, pin up kind of figure. Clothes are SUPPOSED to look good on me right? At least, that's what all the rap singers seem to think.

Well, it seems by today's standards, my waist should be 6 inches bigger, my butt four inches smaller and my boobs? Let's just cut them right out of the equation, shall we?

I found this dress at Zara. Zara is cheaper, extremely up on the trends and decent quality for women's clothes. A bit like Express in the States, but more stuff and better. This dress is a GORGEOUS full flowy affair, all black and white floral chiffon, perfect for tripping daisies and tiptoeing through tulips and wafting grandly down boulevards. Being a great wafter myself, I fell in love with it. I tried it on, going for the large as I know Zara runs small.

What the hell? I needed another 5 inches of dress to cover my breasts. The dress would not zip, not even close. And it was only in the boobular area that this was a problem, the rest of the dress was quite possibly zaftig in fit. I could have fit four pygmies under there and still had room for a sheep or two. So, why, then, would it not fit in the bust? Is it made for someone TRIANGULAR in shape? What is up with that? Where, exactly, are my boobs supposed to go? In my pockets?

I tried on two skirts, one a straight skirt and one a full skirt. The full skirt was so big in the waist it hung on my hips, the straight skirt was so tight that I could not walk in it. SAME SIZE people! Same SIZE of skirt at Zara, two completely different fits. A sweater, too tight in bust. A jacket? Too tight in bust and about 12 extra inches in the waist. Horrible.

Am I just a freak? Who are these clothes supposed to fit anyhow?

Here is my theory: Clothes are mostly designed by gay men who make the clothes to fit women with little boys' bodies. That means narrow asses, not much waist and small boobs. What they, as gay men, find sexy. When I try on clothes designed by women they almost always fit. Women know that women have stuff. Clothes designed by gay men (this means you Lagerfeld)? Nope, no go. No room for my stuff.

It's all very annoying. The messages seem to be "have big boobs be womanly and be sexy" and then when you ARE you can't find clothes to fit your womanly bits. Ah! I know! I'm too sexy for my shirt!

Grr. I am welcome to any thought you might have on this.

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