Friday, March 10, 2006

Dude. I totally heard you.

Today I was at work in this interminable meeting. Mostly interminable because I had to piss like a racehorse and my bladder has a strict half hour time limit, and we were approaching the hour and a half mark.

Anyhow, during this endless meeting, talking about all sort of things that were termed by acronyms that I totally didn't get (WHY WHY does everything have to be initials? I mean, seriously? It's getting to the point where you have to call the guy in the next office the GITNO, and the coffee machine becomes the CDU, Coffee Dispenser Unit, for God's sake.) where was I? Acronyms....meeting...oh, yeah. I remember.

So, in this IM (interminable meeting) my coworker totally ripped ass (RA) and tried to pretend like nothing happened. Granted, it was a low slow rumbler (LSR) he let fly, one of those quiet bubbly ones that you think no one hears, but dude, I totally heard you. I saw the tell tale lean, I saw the concentrated expression you had where you pretended you were totally involved in the IM but were actually only focussed on what was happening in your sphincter vis a vis control vs air release vs noise factor = low slow rumbling fart. That one woulda been a TOTAL blaster had you been at home.

But you weren't at home and so you tried to sheen it out at the meeting. And guess who has supersonic hearing and always has? Why, me, your friendly co-worker (FC-W). So yeah, I heard you. Loud and Clear. And that concentrated look I suddenly had as I pretended to focus on the IM with the GITNO while drinking my beverage from the CDU? That look was me trying not to LOL.

You're lucky it didn't smell. Otherwise that would have been a major infraction of the OAE (Office Ass Ettiquette.)

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