Winter's last hurrah?

Snowy morning looking northeast from our house. This picture was taken back in late November, early December.

Snowy morning looking southeast from our house.

Beautiful

OK, so we all know that I am not a fan of winter in general but what's happening now, it's gorgeous.

It's snowing while the sun is shining. All the snowflakes look like glitter and diamonds floating down from the sky. The snow on the ground shimmers, too, like a field of frost and diamonds, and it's just gorgeous in its cold sparkliness. It's like being in a snow globe, actually. The snow has that same shiny quality and aimless floatiness.

Really pretty, lovely to look at it.

However I have to drive in this shit in about an hour and THAT I am not looking forward to.

That's DAMN cold

In our kitchen we have a Sub-Zero freezer that has a digital temperature readout on the front, so you know how cold your food is. It's one of those freezers that keeps your stuff REALLY cold, you know?

It is colder outside right now than our freezer temperature. So cold that you can throw water up in the air and it will come down as ice.

And I was talking about Spring the other day? HA!

Classic Picture of Paris #2

Bike locked to the fence at Notre Dame, Paris.
I wanted to stick a baguette in the basket, but didn't manage to make it happen. I couldn't get the little Frenchman with the beret to stay still long enough to pose for me. Damn.

The Classic Picture of Paris #1

Park benches, trees and a pigeon in Paris. February 2005.

Friday Q...Da Moofies

FQ TOPIC: Cinema. (And it's kind of a hard one!)

FQ1: If you could own any item from any movie, what would you take and why?
I might want Harry Potter's invisibility cloak. Ditto his magic wand. Who would not want a magic wand? With that I could get or do anything else I wanted. I would also want Renee Russo's entire wardrobe from "The Thomas Crown Affair". Those clothes completely rocked. While we're talking wardrobe, go ahead and gimme the clothes worn by Rosalind Russell in her role as Auntie Mame. Total fun funky retro fabulousness.

FQ2: If you could become any character from any movie, who would it be and why?
I'd want to be Tilda Swinton's character in Orlando. To be able to live for so long and see so many things happen, AND to do it as both a man and a woman, would be phenomenal. It would also be cool to be the Vampire Lestat. I guess I like the idea of a very long life that started hundreds of years ago and carries on until now. Being a sexy vampire rock star would not suck either.

FQ3: If you could visit any location from any movie, where would it be and why?
Real location? I want to go to New Zealand and see where they filmed the LOTR movies. (I'm pretty lucky in that I have been to many of the places where many of my favorite movies have been filmed.) I also want to go to Angkor Wat, ever since I was a kid. That's where they filmed much of the first Tomb Raider movie. I just mention that as a movie tie in, though I think it sucked ass.
Imaginary location? The land of the wizards that Harry Potter lives in. I wanna go to Hogwarts. I want to go to a place where magic, wonder and mystery are part of daily life. I want to NOT be a Muggle.

FQ MOVIE MASH-UP: Combine some items, characters, and locations from different movies to create an entirely new film! What would you call it and what would it be about?
Oy vey. That's really hard. Lessee:

We get the guys from Spinal Tap and Monty Python together and make a movie called:

Monty Python's Stonehenge, The Rock Opera
Where are they now, the little people of Stonehenge? And why are all these French people taunting us from on top of the rocks?

You can extrapolate from there.

Why I am afraid of monkeys.

This is why.

My fears are confirmed. They're killers. Beware. I'm never going to the monkey cages at the zoo again, and no, you can't convince me otherwise.

(I'm also afraid of anything with more than four legs and/or an exoskeleton, and clowns. Clowns are scary.)

Springing and karmic highs

I love Spring. Spring just makes me happy. It seems like good things happen to me whenever Spring comes around. It might just be that after the darkness and total lameness of winter, more things happen in Spring because more people are out and about, but whatever, things are hopping and I have stuff to look forward to. So in no particular order, here is:

What's up in Karlaland

1) This will be a fun weekend. On Sunday, we have tickets to see the Ski Jumping competition at Holmenkollen. This is a big deal, in Oslo, it's always completely packed. It sort of signals the end of the ski season for the year, and everyone goes to watch. It should be full of flag waving, woolly hatted Norwegians showing their national pride. I've never been, and am psyched to finally get to go!
Then, on Sunday night, I am going to see Eddie Izzard. I am so excited about that I could just pee. My only worry: How do I dress for an outdoor ski competition and an evening with a cross dressing comedian? This will be a major test of my wardrobe's capabilites, that is for sure.

2) Next week I will go to Amsterdam (for Karen's birthday) and thence to Scotland. Woo! In Amsterdam we are going to go see a show at Boom Chicago. Always a treat, great comedy and a good meal. I hear there is good coffee in Amsterdam as well. Ahem.
In Scotland Rich and I will go to Edinburgh and Glasgow. We plan to drink ale and see the sites. I am reading a biography of Mary Queen of Scots right now to prepare myself.

3) I'm considering a quick trip to London early April. Maybe I should get going on that, huh, as it's already the second week of March?

4) Last weekend my Norway Jennifer and her husband Per took Rich and I out for Dim Sum. It was incredible. Since getting here, almost three years ago, my biggest disappointment has been the dearth of good Chinese food. So Jennifer took us to this kind of divey looking place in Oslo she discovered. We went in, and Rich, Per and I are the only non-Asians in the joint. And it was packed. Then, Jennifer proceeded to order all the food in Chinese! Who knew? Damn she's talented. Anyhow, we ate until we were ready to burst, it was all phenomenal, AND it cost no more than what we would pay in the US! Imagine my glee! Great Chinese food and it was affordable! I am still happy about that, as I feel like I finally got to discover a little "secret" in Norway (a place that hoards its secrets like Viking gold) and found good Chinese food to boot!

5) And here's the one that really has me all excited (though I am still wiggly and squirming a bit with leftover happy dance from yesterday's ticket score). I got a catalog in the mail for summer courses at Central St. Martin's College of Art and Design in London. I have been wanting to take some classes for ages, and it looks like this school is a very viable option for a summer class or two. They offer cheap housing, and fascinating courses in Jewelry Design/Fabrication, Interior Design, Painting/Design for Stage and Scene, and Creative Writing. These are all things I'd like to pursue and have some experience in. I know it seems like alot of different interests, but there are so many things I want to learn more about and get my hands dirty with! It will probably end up being a jewelry class, to increase my fabrication and mechanical skills.

I love taking art classes. When I was a kid, I thought I was not artistic because I couldn't (and still pretty much can't) draw. As I got older and realized that art is not just drawing, it's opened up a whole world to me of what is possible, and I feel like I wasted my whole life previous by not exploring those options. Rich gets confused by my constantly trying new things, but when I die I don't want to ask "What if/why didn't I/what would that have been like?". I wanna say "Wow, that was cool, look what I learned and saw and did!"

YES!! YES!!! YESS! Oh YES!!!!!

*Commence happy dance...Karla dances with abandon and enormous freaky style*

I GOT A TICKET!!!! I GOT A TICKET TO EDDIE IZZARD!
*Do the hokey pokey and your shake your butt around*

Sixth row!!!! Sixth effing row!!!!!!

*boogy boogy boogy dance dance dance happy happy joy joy*

Specifically, for dancing, check out the move entitled "Stop it Silly" on the above link. I am doing those exact moves right now. Woo!!!!

Blast! Hell! Tarnation!!!!

There is a conspiracy afoot.

There I am noodling about on the web and I see a link on Vivi's website for Eddie Izzard's website. I adore Eddie Izzard. He's hilarious and so bloody intelligent, it rocks my world. Plus, that man does eyeliner way better than I ever could.

So I wander over to his website out of curiosity and see this. Extra dates for Scandinavia? This SUNDAY in Oslo? Fuck yeah I am SO buying tickets.

I immediately call the box office and stay on hold for like, ever, and when I finally get thru, the girl who answers tells me there are two tickets left. I think "Yeay! Finally I get tickets to something!" I tell her to book them. And feel lucky that she has two standing-room only tickets left.

For you see, in Oslo, if you don't get tickets to anything you want to see within MINUTES of them going on sale, forget it, you ain't gonna go. I don't care if it is Grease Five: The Golden Years, Hand Jive In Wheelchairs, the tickets are guaranteed to be sold out. It's amazing how fast it happens, and considering that this AIN'T that big a town, where the hell do all the tickets go so fast? I think everyone is just starved for things to do here, honestly I do. Do these people just stay there by the phone waiting to call for tickets every damned day? And is it only the same damn people with the fast fingers who get the tickets in the first place? And can I please have them rubbed out, Guido? You call your guys, I'll keep the engine running. The trunk's open.

So here I am, totally psyched that these tickets are available. Then I hear "Oh. I'm sorry." And I'm like, "You're sorry WHAT? WHAT are you sorry about?" And she says "Those tickets just sold".
Now? Those tickets sold between when I said "Hell yes I will take them" and her pushing the "Sold" button on the computer????? What fucking monkey spanking sack licking asswipe got in there so fast that they took MY TICKETS TO EDDIE IZZARD AWAY FROM ME????????

That's it, it's time for the heavy artillery. Yep, you heard me. I'm gonna go talk to the Man.

I have small hope. The girl said she'd call me tomorrow if anything comes open. I gave her every phone number I could think of, and some that I didn't even knew I remembered. Including yours....so if a Norwegian woman calls you about tickets for Eddie Izzard, just give her your credit card details and I will pay you back ASAP, ok?

Poem by Ben

My godson is a talented boy. His Dylanesque poem captures the essence of home life, does it not?

I'm not dead.

I'm not dead. Which, to many people I know, is considered a good thing. Being dead would suck ass, not least because who would keep up this entertaining and informative blog?

I did end up with a migraine last night, but one of those wierd visual ones, where your eye sight goes all disco-ball and you get flashing lights and shit? It only happens rarely, and only lasts a half hour or so. Then I spend awhile cringing waiting for the headache, but this time, no bad headache. Though for me, a "bad" headache is kind of a relative term, because I am one of those headachey people, where if there is a day I don't have one I am kind of surprised. I get them from neck tension, eye strain, hormones. A strong smell will bring one on, as will flashing bright lights or loud high pitched noises. So a migraine may well go largely unnoticed with me in the mayhem of the rest of the head achey bits. I've learned how to deal with it in my own ways, and now I pretty much just suck it up and get on with it.

So yeah, I have a slight headache, and a rather annoying sore spot on the side of my kopf, but nothing I can't handle. I am considering taping a pillow onto the part of the roof where I slammed my head, though. Think duck tape will work?

ouch

I hit my head today. On a part of the ceiling upstairs, it's one of those uneven multi level things. Really bashed my head sideways right into it, kind of on the temple. You know when you hit your head or your funny bone really hard and it hurts so bad you instantly start cussing really loud while semi-crying? Yeah, like that.

It still hurts. I think I am getting a migraine. I'm getting those visual wavy spots that are the big sign of one coming on.

crapness. time for darkness.

ow.

You get what you pay for

Here is an interesting article on MSNBC (which has really good travel articles) about the low fare airlines dilema in Europe.

Which follows what I have been saying/doing all along: Yeah the upstarts can be cheap, but also be sure to factor in addtional costs and time when trying to get to those dinky little airports, and see if it is really worth the savings. Lately I have been using SAS or BA, their fares have been really competitive, and they offer direct flights to the "good" airports instead of to the regional ones far away. And the luggage issue also factors in. RyanAir is trying to make people do carry on only, which can work sometimes, but not always.

It comes down to a balance between money, convenience, the "annoyance factor" and hidden costs. For me, if it is a difference of $50 or so, I will always take the bigger carrier. If it's a bigger cost difference, then I weigh the options. Which will piss me off more: the extra expense or the three hours it takes for me to get to and from the airport?

It's a game, now, and I call it Travel Craps. Cuz, you know, it can be really great if you win and it works out, but it's total crap when it doesn't.

I am off to Amsterdam on St. Patty's day, and thence to Edinburgh. Never been to Edinburgh, but have been to Amsterdam and LOVED it.

My brother. The funniest guy in the world.

My brother cracks me up. Totally. I mean, there are very few people in the world who can make me snort milk out my nose. (Or Coke, which believe me, really hurts.) And he is one of them. Sometimes just looking at a picture of him sends me madly giggling.

My brother, Chuck, is a huge guy. He's 6'5" of huggy bear funny, strong as a moose, but the sweetest and gentlest of men. In high school the football coach begged him to be on the team, but he refused and played tennis instead. Little guys would want to fight him, and he just laughed and said, "No thanks." Because, honestly, those little guys had no idea how strong he really is, and he did not want to hurt them.

Remember that part in the Princess Bride where Cary Elwe's character is trying to throw Andre the Giant? He grabs him around the waist and grunts and groans and throws his weight around and Andre just looks down at him like "Yeah? What?".

It would have been like that, if Chuck let the little guys fight him.

Anyhow, this picture of my brother just has me giggling everytime I see it. His friend Rob sent it to me, titled "Snafuracing Posterchildren". His face and the crooked glasses, it's just funny.

He is a car racer and also teaches folks how to drive competitively. (He's very patient!) He wins just about every race he attempts. That man can DRIVE. We come from a car family, he and I. That's my Dad in the picture with him. He's an inveterate car guy, collector of classic American and French cars and the odd Vespa or two. (No "normal" cars for us. My first car was a '64 Corvair convertible, my second was a '62 Renault Caravelle convertible.) Growing up with all those cars, is it any wonder that my brother now races and I am something of a car snob myself? Automatic transmission? SUV? I fart on your lameness. Pah!

(Mom's the maverick in the family. Absolutely no interest in cars. She just wants it to work. She won't even put gas in the car, sniffing, in her particularly Teutonic way, "That is your father's job". I once showed her how to do it, and she said "Oh, that wasn't so hard. So now I know what your father is doing when I send him to town to get gas for the car!")

My brother's racing team is called Snafuracing. (One of their mottos is "Snafuracing. A drinking team with a racing problem". ) That's one of his cars there in the picture. It doesn't look particularly racy, but Chuck's M.O. is to come to the track with a car that does not look like much of anything, then drive circles around the guys with the flashy cars because he knows EXACTLY how far he can push his own car, and exactly what it will do on any given corner, straightaway or curve. Plus there's always a little somethin' somethin' unexpected under the hood. Kinda like my bro....something special under all that big guy humor.

So, to my funny brother, I love you. And I'm damn proud of you, too. So there.
(Private to Kit: Now, for lesson number 573 in DON'T FUCK WITH ME!)

Three chicks

Right, so there is a new "blog meme" going about and I thought I might as well go ahead and give the girl take on it. (Vivi and Karla May, you guys are tagged with this one, too, so start thinking now!) This actually ties in with a conversation I had with a friend of mine here in Norway, we already made our choices, so here goes:

Three Women I Would Go Gay For.
(But only in theory, not in real life, cuz, like, I really don't like girls, in *that* way. No offense, honestly, I'm just not wired that way. Though at times I wish I were!)

Angelina Jolie. She's pretty much a guy already, really. A guy with tits. And really amazing lips. And man, I wish I had her legs. Not wrapped around me or anything, but attached to my body, like, as in, MY legs. Crap, anything I say here is just gonna sound like gay innuendo, isn't it?

Tilda Swinton. Ever since I saw her in "Orlando" I have been fascinated with her. Performance artist, actress, all around interesting person. In Orlando she was also very trans-genderish, so maybe I like chicks that are sort of boyish? That's cool. She's tall like me.

Liv Tyler. She's so damned beautiful I can't stand it. And she doesn't follow that Hollywood line about being so skinny that you resemble a lollipop. She's got a nice normal figure and an exquisite face. I really just wanna talk to her. And borrow her clothes. Can I be her kinda gay best friend?

So there, what does that tell us about my taste in chicks? I guess that I like them tall?

Karla-ism

The weather outside is horrible. I have many good books to read. To my mind, this is not a bad thing, as I can lay around and read and not feel buggered to leave the sofa.

So, hence this new Karla-ism:

May my ass and brain grow in equal proportions.

This might be less funny if I had not opened a very decent 1997 rioja just now.

Addendum to this post, three hours later:
In telling my Mom my new Karla-ism, Mom replies, "Do you want your head to be THAT big?"
Thanks, Mom. Backpedal all you want, you can't apologize enough for that one.

Me, jealous? Hell yeah!

Here's a map of the layout of the new Whole Foods in Austin. This store is reason alone for me to move back home. I can't even imagine how wonderful this must be. But then, I just spent $4.00 for the skeeviest little iceberg lettuce you ever saw, so maybe I am just a little bit jealous? Notice the walk in beer cooler. Ahhh...such riches as can only be seen from afar. You Texas folks have no idea how lucky you are......

Friday Q..Trust.

FQ1: Who is an actor or director you trust to always make a good film? What is it about their previous works that make you trust them?
I don't think that I can say that I follow one director. I used to always go see any John Hughes movie but, then, I am an 80's girl. Ditto Mel Brookes, but only up to History of the World, Pt. I.
As for actors, anything with a Monty Python member attached to it is usually a good bet for me. And Sandra Bullock. I love Sandra Bullock, but then she is half German (like me) and calls Austin her favorite home, so what's not to like? Plus, I've met the woman and she can wolf whistle so loud it will break your ear drums. She's cool. I don't know why I trust these folks to entertain me, I guess I can just say it's reliably always been the case.

FQ2: Where is a place you trust to always make good food? What is it about their previous culinary creations that make you trust them? Matt's El Rancho and Chuy's restaurants, both in Austin. I've been going to Chuy's for almost 20 years now, with Jennifer. We both always order the same thing ever time. I have never been disappointed. I've been going to Matt's for 7 years or so, and I crave the Bob Armstrong dip sometimes in my sleep.
I don't know if I can call either of those restaurants the sort of joint that makes "culinary creations" but if you want a reliable plate of savory, soulful and fattening Mexican food, there are no better choices than them.
I can't write about it any more, my Mexican button has been pushed. That is just not a good thing in a land where I just saw in my local grocery store a frozen pizza that is called "Tex Mex flavor" because they crunched up some tortilla chips on top.....
Oh, and my mom's cooking, of course. That woman can bake like nobody's business. Ask me about the 12 layer mocha cake she makes.

FQ3: What's a company you trust to always make a good product? What is it about their previous stuff that make you trust them?
My Subaru is a damned fine car, reliable, fun, trustworthy and a great all around goer. It was not too expensive, it's never broken down, and I still have it here in Norway, where I will eventually have to sell it. I think when I get back Stateside I will trade up for another one, but the raciest, most jacked up WRX that I can get in a hatchback form. I will zoom around with impunity and that car will be black, damn the Texas sun, I want BLACK! And I will do some rally racing. I will have my brother take me around the track and teach me how to race SCCA style and be a macho car drivin' stud girl.

FQ YOU: What is something you do so well that people can absolutely trust you with it?
I am a good jewelry maker, I make good looking stuff that I can't break, so I know it will withstand other people's abuse, too!. Wherever I live, all my life, I find that folks fairly quickly ask me to go shopping with them to help them find what looks good on them and to coordinate their wardrobes. I appreciate the trust that people have in my suggestions, and I always try to make sure that we find them something that suits them and not the prevailing trends.
What's something that people should never trust you with?
Never trust me with Oreos. Never trust me with a freshly iced cake, for my fingers will find their way into it. Never trust me with your new puppy, I will spoil it with petting. Don't let me near vintage beads or a bead store, you won't get me out anytime soon. And I never, ever share movie popcorn, so don't even bother to ask. I will eat it all, better not trust me on that one even a little. And if you lend me a book, it might not come back in all that great of shape, so don't lend me anything you want to keep in tip top shape. I am pretty rough on books.

Great International Secret Blog Exchange!

I got my GISBE package today! How fun! My secret blog buddy is named Marisa and she is from Texas. Her package is pictured above. The hand is Rich's as he reaches for the Snickers bar. He thought that since I was taking the picture I would be too busy to stop him. Well, Marisa sent two, so I let him have it......
Her package totally rocks. She sent reading stuff and vintage postcards and beads and things to make jewelry with and candy and (be still my beating heart) BIG RED GUM! Only Southerners understand the allure of Big Red gum. That is good stuff. I never knew how much I missed it until I found I could not get it here, and now I get some everytime I go home. I was out already, so thanks, Marisa for restocking me!
And, as good things come in threes, my sweet Jennifer has sent me another package, which I will pick up tomorrow. I think she might have sent Spaghettios! Man, I could eat them cold out of the can right about now. Guess that will have to wait. Only til tomorrow, though!

Shopping for Spring....

....when it's 15 degrees outside.

Am I fucking insane or what?

I am meeting a friend today in Oslo and we are going to go try on sundresses and sandals. I think maybe we are smoking crack to have an idea like that. We will be wearing about 12 layers of clothes, each, and the idea of undressing all that stuff to try on sundresses annoys me just imagining it.

Plus even if we do find anything to buy (whether we are lucky enough to find something affordable, cute enough, or worthy of our adoration) we can't wear it for another three months anyhow.

What are we thinking? Is Spring Fever that insidious that it takes away our ability for cohesive thought?

I bet I give up and just have an overpriced beer.

DAMN it's cold out there.

Naturally Stoned on Jesus

Oh. My. God.

I am glad I was a baby in the 60's. (Late 60's mind you. Practically 70's.) That means I have no memory of things like this.

With thanks from planetdan for the rip off.

A sunny winter Saturday in Oslo

A view from the harbor in Oslo, towards the castle.
It doesn't look like it so much from this angle, but that castle is on a pretty high promonotory. (I think that is a word.) This and all the following pictures taken by Rich on Feb. 19, 2005. I gotta get me a digital camera.

Vigeland Park.
Yeah there are two guys "wrestling" above my head, but can I have a nap now? The sun is so nice. Note my giant duffle coat. Not particularly flattering, but warm as hell.

At Vigeland Park, Oslo.
Hundreds of statues everywhere in this park. And yeah, they are all nekkid.
It was a nice, cold, sunny day. If you look in the background you can see the ski jump at Holmenkollen. You can see it for miles around.

The Changing of the Guard at the Royal Palace, Oslo.

It's not all that grand, honestly. The soldiers march right thru the crowd. (Well, loose gathering of folks, there were maybe 20 of us?) There's me (obscured) and my aunt in the background. The soldiers just marched in a straight line across the front of the palace and we obligingly got out of their (gun toting) way.
Oh, and the soldiers you see? There were two more. So, maybe five in total? And they were YOUNG. As my uncle pointed out, "You know, they do get younger looking as we get older, so maybe it's just your perspective", but no, dammit, these kids were 16 tops and still had acne and baby fat. Children protecting the royal family!
See that door behind us? That's the front door of the palace. No gates or fences in this "egalitarian" Norwegian society. Just a palace plonked down in a park, with five little guardlets and a big statue in the front yard. I think they need some grass or some potted plants or something, to break up the facade just a little. It's a bit cold, you know?

Holmenkollen Ski Jump, Oslo.
Looking straight down into the "pit" where the ski jumpers land at Holmenkollen Ski Jump. See the little snowplow there on the lower left? It was actually quite huge and it is held in place by a winch and cable system, that pulls it up the near vertical slope (and keeps it from careening down the hill as well). You could not pay me a million dollars to be the guy that drives that thing. (Well maaaybe a million...)
This winter has not had much snow, so just to the left out of frame was a big snow machine that had to lift and blow manufactured snow from the parking lot, over the side of the jump and onto the landing pad. Almost as much snow fell onto the ground as landed on the jump. It remined me of Sisyphus, pushing that damn rock up the hill only to have it roll back down again. The same snow just kept getting blown and then falling down, blowing and falling, blowing and falling. I had to leave, it was driving me crazy to watch this endless task continually repeated.

He's just one of us, y'all.....

Interesting blog post about President Bush's visit to Frankfurt/Mainz Germany.

Wow. Just, wow.

In like a lion and out like a lamb?

Or is it in like a lamb and out like a lion.....

You know, that expression about winter not wanting to let go and spring sort of having to sneak in and take over?

Yeah, that one. Well, anyhow, it snowed yesterday and it's been cold for over a week now, so it looks like winter is trying to restablish its stranglehold. And can I just say, DAMN!!

I know it's heresy in Norway to say it, but I am bummed it snowed. Yeah it's pretty, but it means it's still winter and I don't want that anymore.

Go away. Shoosh. Be gone with ye. Out out damned flake! Hit the road, Jack Frost!

Oh, hell. Looks like I am wearing the furry boots today, sigh.