Saturday, September 09, 2006

My observances of the past few days

It's possible to book a flight to the US on Tuesday and fly on Thursday for the same price as if you had booked three months in advance.

Lately my life is a little more exciting than I would prefer.

The Skymall catalogue that you find on flights to the US RULES. Really, who can resist Skymall, with its dryer lint vaccuum systems and its dog hair removers and "back massagers" and its bug catchers that you attach to the vaccuum. (Lots of vaccuum focused items.) I freaking LOVE Skymall.

I flew from Oslo to Heathrow to Boston to St Louis. From St Louis I drove three hours to get to my parents house. I think that day qualifies as extreme travel. I was up for 24 hours straight. All my flights left the gate on time, but somehow either got hung up on the wait for take off or landing so that I always arrived late. This meant I was always running to catch the next flight. I never really managed to get anything to eat except for the tiny meal they served on the Heathrow-Boston leg. On the drive from St. Louis I was so hungry I stopped at a Taco Smell and literally snorted my food. Then I felt sick. I haven't had that much grease all at once in months.

Boston airport sucks. I would have not had to run had the damned busdriver who drove us from terminal to terminal not decided to take a bathroom break and left us all sitting on the bus. It was three pm, my flight left at three thirty and I had yet to make it through security. I could have killled that guy. AND the guy at security who decided that I looked like an obvious risk to national safety (was it the wild red eyes? the Einstein hair? the way I was huffing puffing and panting while shifting from foot to foot because I had just run an airport marathon and dammit I had to PEE but did not have the time as my flight left in THREE MINUTES?) um where was I...oh, yeah, ...an obvious risk to national safety so he had to study every document i had on me, TWICE, and then slowly, oh so FUCKING slowly, make his little x mark on my boarding pass to show that he had saved the world froom my obvious terrorist tendencies?

So anyhow, now i am at my parents and just trying to relax.

I'm not succeeding.

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