everything and nothing

Fellow bloggers, do you go about your day composing brilliant blog entries in your head, only to completely lose them when it comes down to actual blogging? I mean, damn, I come up with some really funny stuff, in my head, that cuts to the heart of our modern times with wit and brevity and then I get here to the computer and I'm all like, "Huh huh, BOOBS. Dirty words. Butts. Huh huh, you said ASS." I'm like Beavis, but lamer cuz I'm old.

Dammit.

So I had all sorts of ironic, hip and sarcastic shit to say, but right now I can only say that it is HOT in Austin. HOT HOT HOT and HUMID. And I have forgotten what that feels like. Part of me really, really digs it, and part of me is like "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND BACK TO THAT DRY COOL PLACE I FLEW IN FROM!"

Why is it that the places where I can have good, frizz free, shiny hair, are never around the people I want to see me with such hair? In Norway, my hair is perfect, the hair I dreamed of when I was growing up, shiny and not frizzed and lush. They have great water and low humidity there, and my hair LOVES it. Here in Austin, it's been Frizz Fest 2005, with me as Your Fuzzy Host. Opal Divine's has this outdoor A/C system that consists of a very fine mist of water being sprayed all over the deck seating area. Do they have ANY idea what that does to a curly girl's hair? I call it the Hair Frizzer. Go get one if you want the frizzies, I guarantee you instant success. POOF!

Well, that was definitely NOT the blog I had planned in my head yesterday. I swear, I'm like the crazy old lady who talks to herself, except it's all in my head. So I'm out shopping or at a restaurant, and think really hard, and impress myself with my brainy wit, then laugh out loud or smile, all alone, and people are just looking at me like "Oooo-kay. We will just back slooowly away and maybe she won't see us. Maybe the Crazy Frizzy RedHeaded Lady will not hurt us if we just disapear. Ready kids? RUN!"

And you poor souls have no evidence of my inner wit, because it never makes it to this space. I'm like that damn frog on the Bugs Bunny cartoons that would only sing for the one guy, and just go "Ribbit" for anyone else.