Woo hoo!!!!!!!!

Yeeehaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

I can now once again say "I'm American" when I am traveling and not have to cringe when I say it.

Yeah!

Don't fuck it up Obama. We've put alot of trust in you and I don't think we can take mere political disappointment.

aaaarrrgghhhh

Today could have been better....so far.

Went to get our new work permits put into our passports this morning. We have to reapply every year. It's pretty much a formality, but they sure like to draw it out. this year we reapplied in June, and just now got the letter saying we've been 'approved' and to come get the stamps.

So we go to the horrible early 70's era office (think, every bureaucratic office you've ever been to) and wait....and wait.....and wait....wait....wait....wait. Our number gets called, she takes our new passport photos that we just took (no glasses, no smile, we both look like slightly startled serial killers in them) and our passports and disappears....for almost an hour.

And we wait.

A seriously smelly man walks in. We didn't notice how funky he was til he removed his jacket and then all hell broke loose, olfactory wise. Everyone sitting next to him moved to another part of the room. His miasma filled the entire waiting area. It was RANK. How could he NOT notice the smell? The people almost running to get away from him? The women covering their noses, sitting in far corners of the room, almost gagging? Wow.

And we wait....holding our breath.

Finally get called back up to the counter to retrieve our passports, only to be told "Oops, I didn't put the right note on your permit, you are here as a specialist and that needs to be noted."

And more waiting. Found out that my permit was ok, that it was just Rich's that needed redoing, so I got the hell out of there and left Rich to his fate.

By now it's noon. All told it was over two hours of waiting at that office. I called my boss and told him, look, day's half gone I'm gonna take a personal day and get some shit taken care of. He was cool with it.

Took care of my stuff, came home, decided to go for a walk to relieve myself of stress after dealing with unwashed masses and to run off some energy before I hunker down in front of CNN, not to move until 2am.

Walk was a bit of a mistake, as that black ice is slippery and I fell twice. Cars can drive on it, but feet will definitely have you sliding around like Bambi on ice. No more walks for me til spring. My knee is banged up but good.

Now I'm home, about to pop some popcorn, switching between CNN and BBC to watch whatever comes in on the election, while simultaneously checking Google News, MSNBC, Zogby, the coverage at the Austin Chronicle and whatever else I can get on my browser. I'm nervous. Everyone who has heard me speak (instantly knowing I am American) has asked me about the election and if I am nervous and what I think. The WHOLE WORLD is nervous and awaiting the results. Americans, this ain't just about you, you know. This is the WHOLE WORLD waiting to see if Americans have smartened up and are ready to change some stuff around. I hope we give them what they need to like us again. Or at least tolerate us.

Has Obama won yet? Go ahead, make my day (better).

(Here's an entertaining article from the Austin American Statesman by John Kelso, resident Austin crank, calling bullshit on this poll that says that 23% of Texans think Obama is a Muslim. Of all the stupid crap.....who took that poll anyhow? did they pull them out from under their trailers?)

quiet weekend nervous week ahead

One of the best things about when it snows in our little part of Norway is how quiet it gets. It's not only the silence of the snow, the way it muffles the sound of cars and tires on the road, sends everybody scurrying inside all warm and toasty by the fire.   I like the snow because it scares away the teenagers. (OK, everybody say it with me like Grandpa Simpson: "GET OFFA MY LAWN!")    The screaming, skateboarding, scooter-with-no-muffler driving, bottle-tossing asshole teenagers. The teenagers who hang out right down under our flat at the plaza below.  The worst are the scooter drivers. I could handle the skate boarders and the nocturnal hollerings (and moanings) and occasional bottle breakage if only the SCOOTER FUCKERS would go away. One of my biggest confusions with Norway is why on earth do they let teenagers under the age of 18 drive these scooters around where they take off the mufflers. It doesn't matter how big or small the engine, remove the muffler and these things get LOUD, you can hear them for miles in any direction. I HATE them. I call the scooter drivers the 'little fuckers' and many of the Norwegians I know do too (maybe not those exact words but very similar.) WHY do the parents let them ride them? Don't they know how rude it is? Don't the kids have any feeling of social angst as they drive around in residential areas at 2am with their 180 decibel mufflers making a noise like a hive of angry bees that you can hear all the way to the next town? It's truly unbelievable that there seem to be no controls on them....it offends me that kids (and by association, the parents) could be that rude and uncaring of the people that live around them.   It makes me happy when the snow comes because I know the scooter fuckers (and skate boarders) have to put their noisy toys away until spring, as they can't drive on the snow and ice. Ah...peace.   In other news....pins and needles as I await the election tomorrow (ok Wednesday, dammit, I'm 7 hours different from Central US.) . I know my little vote won't do much, but if everyone bands together and does what they say they are gonna do, oh I do have a quiet hope for some change. But I'm knockin' wood and throwing salt over my shoulder, don't want to jinx anything. Go Obama! On Wednesday I'm either calling in drunk from happiness...or dead, as I will have killed myself as I just can't face 4 years of Sarah Palin. NO MORE NYEWKYEWLAR!   How I will call in dead, I am not sure, but I'll find a way.

....reason number 583 why she's not qualified.

Palin speaks with Sarkozy.....NOT.

You have to hear it to believe it.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween in Norway is a kid's holiday. Like Easter in the States. They don't really do costume parties for grown ups here (expats do that more than anyone else), and showing excitement (as a grown up) about Halloween is looked at with bemusement, like if a grown up in the States was really excited about an Easter Egg hunt.

So you can imagine the indulgent, yet bemused, smiles I got on the train Wednesday and today when I brought in my Halloween Jack O' Lantern trick or treat bucket full of candy to share with coworkers. Everyone on the train smiled at me, I wonder if they think I belonged on the short bus or something. I wasn't sure what to think, I've never been smiled at that much on a train in Norway EVER. I guess I'd smile at a grown up with an Easter basket. Which is basically what I looked like.

Since Halloween and Thanksgiving are my favorite holidays, and neither of them are noticeably celebrated here (though I did see that there was alot more Halloween stuff out this year than ever before) I always get a little homesick this time of year. I'm missing out on both my favorite days. I used to throw a Halloween party every year in Austin that was pretty well attended. My friends and I sort of co-opted certain holidays (I had Halloween, Bookhart had Derby Day, Kirk had New Year's, etc etc) and we always knew where we would be on that day. It was nice. I miss that.

I won't even go into Thanksgiving. I loved it whether I was with my family or Rich's. It was always great, I could eat and drink myself silly, and I didn't have to buy presents. What's not to like?

Well, anyhow, I've got the candy ready and the picture above stuck on the door for our one trick or treater who comes every year. The kid who lives across the hall gets a good haul from us.

Trick or Treat, y'all! Have a good one!

Birthday pouf

Birthday pouf, originally uploaded by karlakp.

My friend Bassim brought me two 'poufs' from Egypt for my birthday. I have always wanted one. Now I have two! They look great with our stuff. I love them.

A quicky post before I run to catch the train.

• Why must I run to catch the train you ask? Why, I'll tell you. Because my effing bank has changed some stuff on our account and I have to go ask WHY. But the bank is only open (ha, I so wanna be a banker) from 10 to 3:30. Seriously, 5.5 hours a day. So in order for me to track down these fuckers I have to take time off from work. HOW is this customer service, I ask? HOW!? With the bank fees these guys charge, they should be open 24 hours AND give me coffee and donuts every damn day for free. (EDIT: It took me over half an hour to get some attention and service once I got to the bank, mostly because the one woman there who called my number (it's a number queue system) doesn't speak English and made me wait for another person who did. I get her every time. As this bank is in an area that has a large English speaking populace, and is the suggested bank for a large expat company, you'd think they would have a more skilled staff, language wise. I always meet other English speakers there whenever I go. I was about ready to burn the place down. Finally got my questions answered, but have to go back Monday to sign some stuff. MORE hours off work. Grrr......that online bank with the cheaper rates everyone tells me about is sounding better and better.)

• It snowed like crazy last night and, as happens every year, everybody is all, "Huh? Snow? In Norway? What a surprise!" Then they all go out and drive with their 'sommerdekk' tires on the cars when they really should have 'winterdekk' and then they all get in wrecks on the icy snowy roads. and are surprised that this happened. Yes it is a bit early for such a heavy snow, but it's NORWAY and SNOW HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

• But damn the snow is beautiful when it is fresh like that. All fluffy and white and so clean looking. It had a tint of wildness to it this morning as the wind blew and there are still a few golden leaves on the trees that fluttered to the ground and landed on the pristine snow. Strange to hear wind blowing through leaves on trees when it is snowing. I wasn't sure what was wrong until I identified that sound. Usually snow is so perfectly silent, hearing it with rattling leaves was very odd.

• I have a headache.

• We meet with the people who will rip up our apartment today to go over terms and logistics. Oy. This will not help my headache. (EDIT: they were very nice.)

• I was thinking as dressing up as either a pirate or Sarah Palin for Halloween. Sad thing is, if I came to work as a pirate, no one would notice the change. Sigh.

• For that matter, they might not notice either if I dressed as Palin, for I do occasionally wear dressy uppy office clothes for no real reason. If I went fully into character and talked like her all day, though, they'd probably just throw me outside for being annoying.

• I could talk about laying pipe all day and justify it as a business discussion. That would be fun. And you can, almost, see Russia from our window, though first you have to look over Sweden and Finland.

• Hmm, maybe I actually AM more qualified than Sarah Palin, come to think of it. Sure have more world experience. Karla for Vice President! (Yes please, can I have the 150k worth of clothes?)

• I think I busted my brand new popcorn popper. I keep overfilling the thing and it all pops up and overfills the lid/bowl. I have to get better on the measuring. I loves me popcorn popped with real butter.

• Still snowing out there. Brrr.....

• I'll be going here on November 13th. Comme des Garcons, woo! I want the jacket/dress. Unfortunately, so does everyone else.
  

1st

1st, originally uploaded by karlakp.

First winter snow. It's a big 'un!

VOTE!

VOTE!, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Here's my mail in ballot! If I'm doing it so can you!

crisp norwegian fall day

Today was one of those perfect fall days where the air crackles with cool freshness. So crisp it burns your teeth.

I always am amazed at the difference between the air and water here and the air and water in Texas. Here it is crisp, sharp, so clear it can cut you, whether water or air. There is nothing soft about it, it's exhilarating and refreshing. It energizes you, but it is not calming in any way. You can see forever and the colors and shapes are so vivid, so sharp. The water is crisp and peaty, it's slightly green in the white bathtub or against the frozen ice in winter. But green in a clear, filtered way....there is no vagueness to it. It's very easy to drink, and so cold that ice is an affectation.

Texas air is soft, hazy, caressing, relaxing. You can feel it on your skin, all around you, like a weight. It settles on your skin like an invisible cloak. Colors are a little bit muted (except at sunset, when they blaze orange and pink on the clouds). The water tastes of where it comes from. Sometimes in Austin you can taste the algae from the lakes west of town. It's not unpleasant, but it can be a bit strange if you aren't used to it. (Makes me think of that old saying, "I never drink water. Fish fuck in it".) I noticed when I was in Austin a few weeks ago it felt like the air was hugging me. So completely, 180% different from Norwegian air. (Like so many things from Texas and Norway.)

Today, in this brilliant crisp bright fall air, everyone in Norway was out walking. Or, at least, everyone in our part of Norway. The trails in the woods, along the pathways, around the lake, anywhere with trees or nature, were crowded with hearty looking people of every age, families of all colors, walking. Moms, dads, kids, grandparents, Texpatriates, all out. Some with walking sticks and Goretex jackets, some with back packs and hiking boots and water bottles, some, like me, merely with an iPod a pony tail and some sneakers.

Everyone walking. A walk in the woods in Norway is the answer to everything, whether that might be a headache, a thrown out back, a cold or cancer. (Possibly the only thing they don't tell you to walk for is a broken leg, at least at first.) Whenever I've gone to the doctor here, they invariably tell me, after my appointment, that I should go out for a walk in the woods to reset myself. My chiropractor was insistent on it, after every session, that I walk for a half hour after the appointment and walk, also, on the weekends. In the States, they give you antibiotics or a pain pill. Here? A walk.

Judging by this weekend, there will be a lot of healthy people in Norway next week.

I'm not dead. This is a surprise to me.

Ok I have had a really busy week. So busy I didn't have time to check any emails (personal or professional) and am now swamped by emails from Move On.org, various Democrats, the Democrats Abroad, a variety of on-line shoe stores, jewelery making newsletters, LL Bean. Anthropologie, J Crew, Boden and Nordstrom's (how damn much on line shopping am I expected to do?) about 15 forwards from my aunt who forwards everything she gets into her computer back out again (love you, but don't have time to read it auntie!) and so on and so forth. Work emails? Oh god can't even begin to face that, and won't til Monday.

The delete key is my friend.

However, one exciting thing happened this week in my severely neglected personal life. One little beacon of light and hope for a better future landed in my mail box.

I got my mail-in ballot! I'm gonna vote today and mail that sucker in! Woo! I think I'll post a picture of the ballot, for this is a historic event.

That was the only piece of mail I opened all week, come to think of it. Email or snail!

Democrat Broad

Democrat Broad, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Here's my friend Pam in her new Democrats Abroad t shirt. The campaign button is Obama, natch.

booga booga booga

I'm stressed! I'm stressed! I'm stressed! I'm gonna start making crazy booga booga noises soon, like insane people in old movies do.

I have so much on my mind right now that I have heartburn all the time and I can't. get.my.mind.to.turn.off.ever!

Skip the following paragraph. It's bad for your health.

I'm stressed about work and the craziness that will be next week and will I get it all done and not forget anything as I'm supposed to be this great organizer but I feel totally like I am missing something and I am stressed about the work that has to be done on this flat that I am dreading worse than visiting the gyno which is saying alot and I can't stop thinking about all the fucking details that we will have to work out before someone comes in and tears up my HOME and I am stressed because my tits are killing me because I started a new bcp which I actually like because I've lost 5 pounds from it and it's stopped Aunt Flo cold which is awesome but I really don't want my boobs to get any bigger than they already are or I might just fall over and never be able to walk upright again and my damned boobs grow everytime I try to take bcp and this is the third time now in the past 4 years and that is three cups sizes that never go away and I never wanted big boobs ever and I am stressed about winter coming and having to wear socks and tights and boots all the time and I am stressed about having to change over my wardrobe from summer to winter which just makes me worry about the work they are going to do on the flat again and will they RUIN ALL MY CLOTHES but they won't fit my anyhow because of my huge new boobs and what the hell will I wear for 6-8 weeks while we aren't living here and how do you pack for that long and I hate it hate it hate it hate it because Rich is also stressing which makes me stress because he always wants to talk about HIS stress just as I am falling asleep which wakes me up again and why does he DO that it drives me NUTS even though I want to be there for him but why can't he talk to me after work like NORMAL people and so I am also kind of tired because of the stress and the heartburn and the sore boobs and the apartment that farts and the fucking construction workers who are replacing the roof of the building next door who started throwing the old tiles 4 stories to the ground at seven thirty fucking AM this morning and it sounded like sonic booms and so now I hate them and then the elevator was broken this morning from the people who are doing the work on the flats in my building and if they break the elevator their first day of doing this work then what the hell are they going to do to my apartment I mean they can't even not break the elevator and I am supposed to trust these people with all my worldly possessions I don't THINK so and then don't even get me started on the US election because if McCain wins I will barf for days and that's just bad all over and of course the economy is in the toilet though it's not affecting Norway too badly but you never know what will happen and maybe I'll just go and take me and my sore growth oriented boobs and try to have a nap because maybe sleep will make me not stress but I can't sleep and and and.....dammit.

If you made it through that non-sentence than you must really be bored. I do feel a bit better though. Thanks for being there. (Or not. whatever you want.)

News Junkie

Here's a list of the podcasts I download daily.

NPR:
Day to Day
Fresh Air
Story of the Day
Wait Wait Don't Tell Me
Other stuff:
BBC NewsPod
A Prairie Home Companion
KUT Morning NewsPod
NBC Nightly News
ABC World News
Nightline
Russell Brand
Stephen Fry's Podgrams
This American Life
Travel With Rick Steves

I don't really have enough time to listen to them all each day. I have developed a new routine in the morning where I plug my iPod into the little speakers Rich gave me and listen to NBC, ABC and Nightline news in the morning as I get ready for the day. On the train to work I listen to BBC NewsPod. If I have time and the frigging trains are late, I catch one or two NPR Stories of the Day as well.

I save the light stuff for the trip home, so maybe a nice dose of Prairie Home Companion and KUT NewsPod. My absolute favorite is Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, which has made me laugh out loud on the train a few times (sign of insanity). I recently started listening to Stephen Fry's Podgrams, and holy crap are those fun, but he doesn't do them very often so I sort of save them.

It's all added up to make me a total news junkie. ABC and NBC news is always from the night before, but I feel pretty up to date. The NPR gives me a break from the doom and gloom of mainstream US news. It's gotten to the point that when I read the news on the internet, I'm all, "Yeah yeah I know that already gimme somethin' I DON'T know!"

Can anyone recommend me more podcasts in the news/entertainment/wry commentary/comedian vein? None of those one minute ones, I hate those, but something in the 15 minute to one hour range.

I guess my chicken is defrosted now. Time to roast the bird (thank you French Laundry recipe!) It's a chilly wet evening, good for a nice chicken and stuffing, with lit candles and a good book. I've given in and bought the Stephanie Meyer vampire series, which I am on the third one. It's ok, not great, but ok. I have some problems with the main character always being led by men and doing very little for herself. Show some backbone honey. But maybe she gets stronger as it continues.

Harry Potter is still better by a landslide.

Afartment. Flatulent Flat.

Our apartment farts.

For realz.

The heating is provided by hot water that goes under the floor and there is something strange going on with the water pump or something, as every 15 minutes or so our flat goes Frrp FRRp FFFRRRPPP. It sounds exactly like a fart, and, as I told Rich, it is obviously the right place for him to live as it also sounds JUST LIKE HIM, though, luckily, Rich does not fart quite as much or as loud. (I would have sent him to a doctor by now if that were the case.)

The sound comes from the laundry room, I would hazard a guess that the floor heating valves are in there. It's LOUD. Luckily these farts don't stink, or we'd have a BIG problem.

Frrrppp.....Frrp....FRRRPPPPPPPP. There it goes again.

In other news, yes we are soooooo fucked with this bloody work they have to do on our flat and we are in negotiations about it now. The rest of the people in the building are finally realizing what a pain in the ass this is, and are getting up in arms. We are going to do a collective agreement as to what we want for reparations and when the work is to be done. My Norwegian is getting much better just by the hard concentration I am doing with all the legalese. In the US you'd totally have a class action law suit. Here? Just some annoyed people having a collective meeting about what we want to demand in damages. We'll see which works better.

I wonder if their apartments fart?

I am balls to the walls busy at work so will try to post as I can. Next week, don't count on much....will be my busiest week of work ever in this job.

nap excuses

Jet lag is a great excuse to take naps.

You can take a long ass nap (yesterday's was 2 1/2 hours), be late for work, be late to met your friends, and if they comment on your lateness, you just say, tiredly, "Jet lag." And they nod sagely with understanding (all of us expats having been there many times) and you are off the hook.

Of course, this only works for three days, max, before you have to start being on time again. Because, as expats, all your friends also know how long jet lag lasts.

Luckily, now it's the weekend, so I can continue to nap without guilt. If anyone comments, I can just say "Weekend". And they will once again nod sagely and with understanding.

my hair likes Norway but despises Texas

My hair has certainly made its choice as to what country it prefers.

Norway by far.

In Norway my hair is full, glossy and fluffy with curls. Looks like a Pantene commercial.

In Texas? Stringy, frizzy and not so much curly as just unruly.

I think it's the water. I noticed that in both Austin (where the drought has the unfortunate effect of making the water smell like algae) and Houston, I never felt like I got all the shampoo out of my hair, and the Curls Rock that I always use just sort of weighed my hair down. The water in Texas is quite soft I think. And my hair did NOT like it.

Back here in Norway, the harder water cleaned out all the residue and the Curls Rock is effective once more and my hair is happy again.

Now if only I could say the same, as it is hard to come back after spending time with all my family and loved ones in the SUN and WARMTH. I'm always a bit down after a trip home. I get over it, as there is lots here I like, but it takes a bit of adjustment just the same.

So excuse me if I am morose.

However, I did manage to get re-registered to vote while in Texas and just sent off for my ballot today. So at least I got that taken care of.

12 damn near perfect hours

9am
Coffee Fairy leaves me coffee and a Sunday paper outside my hotel room. Glory! Sunday paper! Rich and I miss the Sunday paper ritual most of all. Read paper, drink coffee and laze around.

1030 am
Sunday paper completely pillaged, take shower and get ready for day in leisurely manner.

1130am
Meet BFF (one of 2, yeah, how lucky am I?) Julia at Matt's El Rancho for my 'dish of craving': Bob Armstrong dip (queso mixed with guacamole, pico de gallo and ground beef) and shrimp tostadas. Served with a swirl margarita (strawberry and lime) and a Coke. I am fat and happy (and burpy). Hopefully this will last me for a half a year or so.

1230pm
Julia and I go to Last Call for a bit of shopping. In an unusual role reversal, SHE buys stuff and I don't.

130pm
Head down to Octoberfest at NXNW brew pub in North Austin. Meet Lee, Mags, Bookhart and Pod (among other friends) and get to see my godkids Her Majesty and Wonderboy. Exclaim at how they are growing like weeds. It is expected, after all. Wonder Boy has big feet and his hair was sprayed with orange hairspray that made him look like fire, and Her Majesty is tall and skinny and was sporting some fabulous cowboy Boots (as was I, my kinda kid!).

300pm
Leave NXNW and go to HEB grocery store to get a few essentials that can't be found in Norway. (Febreze, corned beef hash, corned bread mix, Ro-Tel tomatoes and Rich's Aveeno body wash). Get sad and slightly annoyed at ALL THE STUFF I CAN'T BUY THAT I REALLY REALLY WANT. I'd kill for Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. Try not to gnash teeth at price of things....usually at least 1/4th what I pay in Norway.

430pm
Back to hotel to change clothes.

445pm
Arrive at Town Lake to take a walk. Perambulate around the lake (really the Colorado River that runs through the center of town) and enjoy watching the sweaty shirtless men jog by, the people rowing on the river, feeling the breeze and the sun on my face and generally storing up memories of sunshine and warmth for the coming cold months. When I get homesick this is where my mind goes. I love this place. Realize won't have any warmth even close to this until December, when we go to Thailand. Makes me a bit sad. I am a warm weather girl at heart.

600pm
Back at hotel. Freshen up a bit for dinner.

615pm
Go to the bar at the Stephen F Austin Intercontinental Hotel and sit on outside terrace and watch the clouds race by and the sun set in downtown. It's a bit breezy and Austinites are out enjoying the cooler weather and the appearance of clouds, which they have not seen in a while. Read fluffy magazine, drink reisling and build up appetite for dinner. Just me and my thoughts.

700pm
Go to Roaring Fork restaurant and eat dinner. Decide to eat two appetizers, so have a wonderful 'white corn' tempura shrimp (5 fancy fat fried shrimp) and tuna tartar with guacamole. Washed down with another glass of reisling. Find that two appetizers are quite filling. Those shrimp rocked. Tuna needed....something.

830pm
Back at hotel in jammies. Finish packing in preparation for going to Houston tomorrow for last night in Texas. Make blog post. Watch Desperate Housewives, I am SO out of the loop on it.

1030pm
Watch Austin news for last time and lights out. Comfy bed holds me in its soft luxe embrace. Dream time.

Today in pictures (with a bit of last night, which was actually today, as it was after midnight because we PARTIED!)

Post Davestin, the party continued.

Jaye gettin' down with a bad ass burger at the Jackelope last night. I would have given her my virginity for a bite of that burger, except that ship sailed long ago. And the fact that I don't do girls. Neither does she. Which sort of ruined my virginity offer.

Dave stunned at Mag's assets. Um, brains, I meant brains.

Karla May hiding under my hair. Either that or I grew another tiny head. Please note my new glasses. And my new head.

I just HAD to do it. The place was filled with velvet paintings of pneumatic pulchritude. It begged for tweaking.

After way too little sleep, a nap and a facial and brow wax today, these boots came into my life. The picture doesn't really capture the gorgeous pointy box toe, "roach killer" style. The toes and heels are lizard.

One of my favorite bars EVER. I've got the logo t shirt and panties to prove it.

Mean Eyed Cat interior. It's dedicated to Johnny Cash.

Back to the hotel room. Drunk me wondered why the asswipe was tied with a pretty ribbon. Is it a gift?

I woke up to this gorgeous sight in the other bed in my room. Apparently Karla May got so attached to my hair she came home with it. Also, apparently, we both snore.

The debate, the hotel, the Dave

One of the main reasons I have ever envied rich people is because I envision them having a minion who brings them their morning coffee every day. I've always wanted that, to have my coffee brought to me, without my asking, just when I want it. This would be my main reason for wanting to be rich. (OK that and the private plane. But that is really it.)

This hotel brings me my morning coffee every day between 8:30 and 8:45. Just delivers it right to my door. They leave it outside and knock and go away.

I freaking LOVE that. It's like being rich, like I've hired a Coffee Fairy. Everyone should have a Coffee Fairy.

So now I am drinking my coffee and watching the Ellen Show. I heart Ellen. I love the way she dances.

I watched the debate with Dave last night. I just like that dude. How can I not? If you ever meet him, buy him a Jaegermeister right off the bat. Trust me on this one.

Anyhow, the debate. My main point I want to make here is this:

If you want FOUR MORE YEARS of yet another yutz saying NOOKYEWLAR instead of NEWKLEEAR, then for sure vote for McCain/ Palin. I swear to God, if she said nuclear wrong one more time I was going to explode. I rather like how Biden very clearly pronounced it correctly after every time she said it wrong. Like, nyah nyah, I can say it right!

So, STRIKE A BLOW FOR PROPER GRAMMAR! Vote Obama Biden!

Tonight? DAVESTIN! Bloggers untie! Buy Dave his Jaegermeisters and let the party begin!!

heaven

Heaven is a newly redone hotel room with incredibly lush beds, lying there watching your flat screen tv, remote in hand, and catching up with the news of your hometown. In the background is the soothing sound of the air conditioner unit lulling you ever so gently closer to sleep.

The free wifi doesn't suck either.

They are going to bring me my morning coffee in 15 minutes.....

Do I have to go home?

So many thoughts

I'm in Austin.

Home.

It just is home.

The drive to Austin was so much fun. The Prius is good on the road, it goes 80 and you don't notice how fast you are going. It's a bit slow to get started, but once it's going it's a swift little car. I used three gallons of gas to get to Austin. I filled up the tank which was almost empty, before I left Houston, and it took 8 gallons. And I did ALOT of driving in Houston. Pretty safe to say this car is saving me alot of money in gas. So going to Austin I just drove along and listened to Led Zep cranked(got the 'best of' cd) and reveled in being in Texas, on the road, in the country. I sort of got teary eyed when I saw some guys working on a fence, wearing cowboy hats and boots and just looking so Texas. Teary eyed from happy. Like, Ah Yes, I Am Home. I know this. I AM this.

Oddly comforting to know that I can come back and know that it is home, know that I belong, and know that it is a real and true part of me, this state and this place. It's not a figment, it's not me assigning some unwarranted value to a place that is all in my head. No. Texas is me, I am a Texan and it is where I have my roots, no matter how far they stretch when I am away.

Of course, being here, I am doing so much shopping that I am probably going to bring half of Texas home with me. I just keep finding awesome deals everywhere, totally scored at Last Call again today, the most gorgeous silk skirt, it's a showstopper, flowy silk charmeuse with a colorful butterfly print on cream, ankle length..Plus got some new glasses yesterday, just picked out frames at Lenscrafters (which I never had luck with) and had my current prescription copied, and it worked a treat. Voila! New glasses. Dolce and Gabban cat eyed frames, black. Not as strong as the Kirk Originals, but strong enough.

Stayed last night with my bud Julia and her partner Heather and my godson Griffin. Griffin is talking! Holy crap! When did that happen!? He's a cutey.

The hotel I am staying at is nice. I Pricelined it (I did that last time I came to Austin as well) and got a great deal. Priceline totally works if you research your options ahead of time. Works especially well in Austin, downtown doesn't have too many hotels and so you can make a good assumption that where you stay is going to be ok. Free wi-fi here if you join their points club.

Meeting Bookhart tonight, after first meeting with Po and his wife Mil. Can't wait to see everyone!

bullet post update

Things are pretty crazy so I'll do a bullet post to catch you up.

• Flight from Norway to Texas was very nice. BA actually treats you like a human, and I was in World Traveller Plus, a sort of economy extra, which gave quite a bit of extra legroom and nicer service, so it was a pleasant flight. The plane wasn't full and they kept giving me champagne. I had no complaints.
  
• Arriving in Houston I was a little perturbed by how authoritarian and almost paranoid the signage seems after laid back Europe. All these big signs announcing "border protection" "customs protection" and so on. Feels like a police state.
• My rental car is a Toyota Prius. Wierd! I kind of like it though it's a bit anemic for power. You really have to floor it to get up some speed. They originally offered me a Chevy, and I have to admit I don't like Chevys so was happy to get the Prius. The back seat has more space than the front, which is a bit odd. Rich keeps complaining about his legs. I might make him sit in back.
  
• I haven't driven in about a year, so it's wierd to be behind the wheel in this intense Houston traffic. Everyone goes so FAST.
  
• I have SO SCORED at the outlets here. Burberry dress and sweater, for like 90% off, a nice basic Coach bag for 50% off lowest price, my favorite shower gel from Lancome that was 1/6th of what I usually pay (I bought 6), and two dresses from Max Azria that are so awesome. And that was just my first shopping day!
• Have so far eaten fried chicken (ohmyfugging GOD it was good, you just can't get fried chicken in Europe that's worth a shit), mexican food twice, an amazing Vietnamese meal with about 40 courses and beer.
• Mmm...beeer. We did a 'tour' of the St Arnold's brewery in Houston. By 'tour' I mean, you show up, pay five bucks, you get a half pint glass and four tokens (with the option of buying a full pint glass if you wish) and then a guy stands on a ladder and talks for a half hour about beer. There were about 1000 people there, all holding their glasses ready for...the tasting! I was actually interested in hearing the guy talking about the brewery, but the noise level of the people was so loud I couldn't concentrate and so gave up and held my mug expectantly with everyone else. It's not a big building, and it is crammed with beer making apparatus, so once you've walked around and seen Moe Larry and Curly (the fermenters) you then go get your 4 free yummy beers. I focused on the brown ale and the wheat. They also had a nice Oktoberfest, and all their other styles.
  
• My mom always impresses me with her beer palate. She is where I got my love for the darker, heftier beers. She and I snorted (laughing) our way through quite a few of the browns and the wheats. She also liked the Oktoberfest as well. Dad, on the other hand, is a certified beer wimp, lager is as exotic as he gets. Luckily my German side holds my beer genetics.
  
• We also sampled their root beer, which was INSANELY good. Apparently they use one pound of sugar per gallon of root beer! Holy crap! I was craving a root beer float like nobody's business, and I don't even like them!
  
• After all that beer I needed a nap.
• Then we ate more.
• Today my brother gets married. Congratulations Bro! I love you!
  

..And...I'm spent

OHMyfuggingGod I'm worn out.

I go to the States tomorrow and I have been running around like a crazy ass fool trying to get organized. Of course, all sorts of shit had to happen just as I was getting my head together about my trip, and none of it very good, so I am a leeetle bit stressed. Like....

...we got a letter a couple weeks ago about a meeting for the tenants of our building, about some work they need to do on the flats. As we get at least a letter a week notifying us of SOME sort of work that they need to do, we didn't worry about it too much.

Until.

I went to the meeting briefly and they handed me a plan of our flat, peppered liberally with little circles every few feet. I was all, 'What are the circles for?' and they are all, 'That's where we have to knock out the wall and check the girders and beams and possibly reweld them'.

Huh?

We are going to have to MOVE OUT of our apartment for up to three months early next year so they can basically tear down the walls and fix every beam and girder in the whole fucking joint. Apparently the building was not built right. And they have to go back and fix it. And we, as renters, are fucked. Inconvenienced like nobody's bidness.

To say I am annoyed would be a mild understatement. I so had a Bad Norway Day yesterday. Between that, and a snafu with my vacation entitlement at work (basically don't get any as am on a new contract, a factor of miscommunication on both sides so no one to blame but strange Norwegian vacation pay system) and the fact that the wine store was closed when I REALLY TRULY NEEDED IT TO BE OPEN, I am kind of ready to have a Norway break. To add to that the complete and total rudeness of some of the people on the train this morning (I mean rudeness bordering on callousness) and my almost unbearable need for Mexican food, I am about ready to fly to Texas using my own arms. (Of course, the whole time I'm in Texas I'll be all like, 'Dudes, in Norway? We don't have George Bush. And in Norway? We can afford health care. Maybe can't afford chicken, but we can afford health care!')

I am packed and ready to go, people. Not that I have any clue what I packed, I was singularly unconcerned and just tossed in random shit. I'm afraid that when I open my suitcase in Houston I'll be all, 'What the fuck did I bring a snowsuit for?' Not too worried about it, however, as can buy whatever I need there. Because they have TARGET! And OUTLETS! And Gap! And department stores and the Galleria and all sorts of great places to shop!

And I get to see my Mom and my Dad and my brother and my husband and all my friends. I haven't seen some of my friends in over a year, and, come to think of it, same for my parents! Amazing how fast a year can go and you just don't realize how fast the time went.

I've been to Russia circa 1972

Yes it has taken me a while, but I am FINALLY getting the last of my Svalbard posts up. Saved this one for last, as it still sort of blows my mind.

I give you...Pyramiden. Russia circa 1972.

The sign of the town. This was actually put up later, I am told, and they are trying to encourage the tourist industry. Pyramiden is a ghost town.


Tracks to nowhere.

Detail of the side of a building. There was some massive architecture there, this building was built in the 80's.

Nobody at the hotel. The boarded up windows are now home to thousands of Arctic terns. Noisy smelly birds. ugh.

A coal factory. It was huge.

The irrepressible scavenging David finding more stuff on the ground. He really wanted to take this sign with him, along with his deer antlers and assorted dead-thingy-bits, but I'm pretty sure the keeper of the town (there are maybe 5 people living there to continue the environmental clean up and greet the few tourists) would not have liked him taking the artifacts. Behind him is older housing for coal workers.

Me, Lenin and a baby doll. One of the few remaining in-situ Lenin statues, and most certainly the one that is farthest north.

The inside of the sports and recreation complex. It was strangely familiar in feeling (I grew up with this sort of 70's architecture) yet unsettling in its dusty emptiness. Like school just got out and they would all be back tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes.

Detail of the sports recreation complex. Pyramiden was abandoned for good in 1996. People left with what belongings they could and the rest was left behind.

The music room, abandoned instruments.

The film projecting room.

70's mirrored ceiling, arty picture time!

Totally awesome bar at the Hotel Pyramiden (we did get to go in). It was open until not long ago. Our manly man in charge, Erling, told us about the many times he came drinking here and what a great bar it was. It certainly was cool looking, I'd love to open something that looks similar in Austin. Every surface was textured in some way, nothing was left untouched. So completely retro, in perfect shape, even to the padded satin walls behind the bar.

Strange art in strange places. Happy and sad.

Arctic terns on an electric line, in the background the coal mine and distribution system.

Abandoned baby doll. Up above stands the Lenin statue. Remains of a lost ideology.

food meme, stolen from Badger

1. How do you like your eggs? Scrambled (well) or hard boiled (HARD) or in an omelette. No runny bits please. 2. How do you take your coffee/tea? Both need lots of sugar. My usual coffee is a mochachocalottayaya, with vanilla. Sometimes I drink Yogi detox tea, and eschew the sugar. 3. Favorite breakfast food: Sausage egg and cheese breakfast tacos with salsa AND ketchup. Sans that, gimme the big ol' Denny's breakfast with all the trimmings. 4. Peanut butter: Creamy only, please, not a hint of lumps. 5. What kind of dressing on your salad? Bought this fabulous lime cilantro one in Winchester, made by a farmer, that I will probably never find again. Honey mustard also good. 6. Coke or Pepsi? Don't care. 7. You're feeling lazy. What do you make? Black beans and rice. Or sauteed shrimp with cilantro and lime. 8. You're feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order? Too expensive to order pizza in Norway. We keep frozen ones as emergency rations, they can be quite decent here. I refer pizzas without meat, and with plenty of mushrooms. 9. You feel like cooking. What do you make? I cook all sorts of stuff. Quesadillas or tortilla soup? Risotto con scampi or this great recipe from a cookbook Mags gave me, sort of a fried chicken with tomatoes and mushrooms thing. Supposed to be Asian but tastes Italian. 10. Do any foods bring back good memories? Corned beef hash, turkey sandwiches from thanksgiving leftovers, meat fondue, home popped popcorn, Texas chocolate sheet cake. Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. 11. Do any foods bring back bad memories? Boiled spinach. Pea soup. Brussell sprouts. Moussaca. 12. Do any foods remind you of someone? Crispy duck (from Chinese restaurants in London) reminds me of my stepmother in law Colleen. You have to fight her to get your share! Wendy's frosties and fries make me think of my brother. (must dip fries in frosty.) 13. Is there a food you refuse to eat? I can't eat things with exoskeletons or that have alot of legs and antennas and are looking at me. I physically...can't. There's alot of Norwegian traditionl foods that I also stay away from, lutefisk anyone? Red, green or yellow peppers. Hate them! 14. What was your favorite food as a child? Fruity Pebbles. Corned beef hash and corn. Also patty melts and the open faced turkey sandwich at Denny's. My mom always fed us very healthy stuff, so when we got to eat bad stuff, it was always a treat. 15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like? Raw spinach, mushrooms, fish of any kind, cheese. Yes I hated cheese. Don't judge me. 16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate? Cauliflower. Lima beans. Swiss Cake Rolls. Chocolate milk. Bananas. I can't even smell the damned things now. 17. Favorite fruit and vegetable: Mushrooms hands down. Also fresh spinach, finely diced tomatoes, onions and baby carrots. Fruit? Pomegranates and raspberries, fo' shizzle. 18. Favorite junk food: Right now Krizpy Cheez Kruncherz, smell like ass, taste great. 19. Favorite between meal snack: Cashews. 20. Do you have any weird food habits? Many. NO COOKED FRUITS, at all. None. Not pie, not cobbler. I'll  pick the fruit out of chutney and jam. Hell, even fruit in ice cream or yogurt bothers me. I have to pick out and add the fruit myself and it must be fresh and slightly underripe. No canned fruits either. I'm afraid of crustaceans.Lobsters, crabs, crawfish. Will not touch them if they have not been shelled. I don't like boiled meats, and beef must be rare. I will eat raw meat if you put it in front of me, I like it sushi style with soy sauce. True carnivore. Yummy cows. I've been told I can never eat something without 'adjusting' it to my tastes, either by adding a condiment or altering the order on the menu. Didn't notice that until it was pointed out, but I fear it is true. 21. You're on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on? Soup. When on a diet I don't altar what I eat just eat less. Tried low carb, failed miserably. 22. You're off your diet. Now what would you like? More alcohol please. 23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai? Mild to medium....medium in Norway, mild to wimp in Thailand. 24. Can I get you a drink? Yes, please! 25. Red or White Wine? If food pairing isn't an issue, I like a nice rosé. 26. Favorite dessert? Chocolate cake white icing. Hey, I'm traditional. or creme brulee, well torched. 27. The perfect nightcap? Nah, just a glass of water by the bedside.

Mind. Boggled.

Norway has just announced that it is giving 1 BILLION dollars over 7 years to Brazil to help save the rainforests.

In contrast, a quick google search tells me that 2.4 billion is spent every week by the US in Iraq.

Is it just me that feels a little sick thinking how much money the US is wasting for a war nobody wants when that money could be so much better spent? How easy would it be to spend 3.5 days' worth of Iraq money and match Norway's donation? Not to mention, the US economy is failing (and dragging down the rest of the world), people are dying from lack of health care and people are losing their homes daily....and we spend 10+ billion a month in Iraq. Mind. Boggled.

Norway's doing something right. Taking that oil money and doing good with it. I'm glad my (very high) taxes are going to causes I actually support. I don't mind paying the taxes if I get something for it (health care!) and if it is used for human(e) causes.

The US is pissing me off right now. The government sucks. GAH!

Today's outfit brought to you by Mad Men

Today's outfit brought to you by Mad Men, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Been watching too much of that series and it is affecting the way I dress! I caught myself sitting perkily straight in a chair with a notepad and pen and had to mentally bitchslap myself out of girly assistant mode.

a viral email, believe me I don't do this very often

We interupt this regularly scheduled blog to bring you this very important message.   You well know that I NEVER do this, but this is a BRILLIANT way of making a statement of your dissatisfaction with the current Republican ticket as well as a way to support a cause which all women should be supportive of, especially in these perilous times, Planned Parenthood. Read on:   We may have thought we wanted a woman on a national political ticket, but the joke has really been on us, hasn't it?  Are you as sick in your stomach as I am at the thought of Sarah Palin as Vice President of the United States? Since Palin gave her speech accepting the Republican nomination for the Vice Presidency, Barack Obama's campaign has raised over $10 million dollars. Some of you may already be supporting the Obama campaign financially; others of you may still be a little honked off over the primaries.  None of you, however, can be happy with Palin's selection, especially on her positions on women's  issues.  So, if you feel you can't support the Obama campaign financially, may I suggest the following brilliant alternative? Make a donation to Planned Parenthood.  In Sarah Palin's name.  And here's the good part:  when you make a donation to PP in her name, they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor.  Here's the link to the Planned Parenthood website: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/ You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the "in Sarah Palin's honor" card. I suggest you use the address for the McCain campaign headquarters, which is: McCain for President 1235 S. Clark Street 1st Floor Arlington, VA 22202 Feel free to send this along to all your friends and urge them to do the same.   Stepping off soapbox now, we return you to your scheduled programming.

line dancing, and happy birthday to my mommy

The doorbell rang at 9pm last night. It was my Irish neighbor, asking me to teach her to line dance. As I was running down our very long hallway to answer the door (not, at this point, knowing it was her but figuring it was as she is the only one who does ring the bell at odd hours like that) I actually muttered to myself, 'Now who is that at THIS hour?', which then made me laugh at myself because I sounded JUST like my parents. And as we all know, at a certain age we do, inescapably, become our parents. Don't fight it, just trust me on this one. You WILL become your parents. But I digress. This post is not about parental cloning. Ok, Irish neighbor, door, line dancing. I open the door, glamorous dressed in my 'lounging' wear, which is an ancient black tank dress worn sans bra, to see my lovely Irish neighbor, cute as a button in her corduroy mini skirt and dark green tights. "Karla, how do I line dance? I have to teach a class of 14 year olds how to line dance for an English lesson about cowboys. Can you teach me?" (my first thought)...!!!!!?????? (me) "Um....no? I have no idea how to line dance. Never done it." (she) "But you're from Texas." (me) "Yes." (she) "And you always wear cowboy boots." (me, ironic grin) "Yes, but you see, I am a liberal, Obama- supporting Subaru- driving Texan with a degree in English Lit and a house in Austin. Asking me how to line dance would be like me asking you how to plant potatoes because you are Irish. An unfortunate stereotype perpetuated by the media and the movies. The boots are a sartorial statement of irony and pop cultural retro-cool, as when I was growing up boots were really the most uncool thing you could possibly wear, sported only by Kikkers* and Ropers** and all the loser Ag*** kids in school. So when I moved to Norway I purposely bought the boots as a jokey physical reminder of my Texas roots, that I have since realized are actually incredibly comfortable, practical and oddly stylish. My wardrobe statement, if you will, along with the strong nerd glasses and the big funky rings. I have never worn the boots line dancing. I have, however, worn them while dancing to traditional Czech, Hungarian, Egyptian and Moroccan music. Just not line dancing." (she) "Oh". pause (she) "I thought all Texans line danced.." (me) "Nope. Though we did all have to learn square dancing in elementary school." (she, hopefully) "We have to dance it to 'Achy Breaky Heart'". She shows me the lesson, with diagrams of the moves step by step, suggested music, and a short paragraph about American Cowby culture and how this is a typical American dancing pastime (!!) (me) "Urgh. Achy Breaky barf." (she) laughs. I think I went down a few notches in her eyes as a Texan. No Texas accent, no line dancing, no cowboy hat and a fear of horses. What good is it having a Texan next door if they don't live up to the glam? In other news, Herzlichen gluckwunsch zum geburtstag Mutti! Ich liebe dich! Aber du liest mein blog nicht......oder? *Kikkers...a slang term for kids who listened to a radio atation in Houston with the call letters KIKK, that played country music. Country music in the 80's? SO not cool. **Ropers....kids who wore cowboy boots that did not have pointy toes, and the only thing worse than being a KIKKer was being a Roper. ***Ags. Kids who were in the agricultural program at school and would have cows or pigs and would show them at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. They wore blue corduroy jackets and invariably wore ropers as well. FYI, I was a Denizen of the Courtyard, one of the ones who eschewed the cafeteria, sat outside during lunch and ironically (so we thought) made fun of everyone else at school. High schoolers always think they are ironic, even if they are just idiots.