Friday, January 06, 2006


I've just run up against the wall of State regulations. And it's pissing me off.

Apparently in order to rent your house you have to have some extra locks put on all the exterior doors, so that the people innside can lock the doors and there is no key on the outside. I can understand why the law is there, as it protects, say, a single woman from the unwanted attentions of a key and phallus wielding landlord, but it still does not make me happy. Especially as I JUST changed the front door locks, with nice new high quality double dead bolts. Now not only do I have to replace those with crappy latch cylinder locks, but also have to add the extra locks. Which makes three things on the door: knob, lock and extra lock. I HATE the idea of it. HATE it. No more holes and drilling in the house, please????? Shit.

So that $80 bucks I spent gettting the locks changed is getting thrown away as I get the new, less quality ones put on. The single bright spot is that, if I have to change all those locks, might as well get new knobs, too, and continue with my shiny brass banishment efforts in favor of brushed chrome.

I've also been waxing the hardwoods with this stuff from Johnson wax that is totally making the floors look great. They need refinishing, no way around it, but this stuff is at least adding a bit of depth to the sheen and some protection too. But Oh My God it smells horrible.

I read somewhere that if you want to get pregnant as an "older person" you should watch out for three things: diet, cigarette smoke and noxious chemicals. Apparently too much drinking, eating badly, being around smoke and heavy cleaning supplies will shrink your eggs to little wizened raisins. Well, all I can say is my ovaries must have a lot of room right now, because after this two months of smoky bars, beer, paint, wax and cleaning fumes, my eggs are rattling around like dehydrated peas in a pod. Eeek.

The smell of the wax is wafting about me now, even with the windows and doors open. My future babies will be two feet tall and look like Oompah Loompahs on crack.

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