What I learned about Norway

I think this merits another bullet point post. I like not having to write full sentences, worry about transitions or any other such grammatical bullshit. Anyhow, today I'm writing more about my skiing trip.

First of all, the below picture is of the hytte we stayed at.

• It didn't have running water.
• That kind of sucked.
  
• However, it kind of reminded me of the time I lived in Oklahoma (yes I did and SHUTUP it was only for about 16 months) and worked at a homestead museum and I had to teach kids how homestead people lived in the 1880's and one of the things I had to show was how people did the washing up and stuff, so once I put that in my head and pretended I was all "Little Hytte In the Mountains" and shit it wasn't so bad.
  
• Water is DAMNED heavy. Especially in 6 gallon containers.
  
• Hytter in general, are, however, very nice and cozy.
  
• Like, here is the fireplace:
  
  
  • 
• The fireplace was very nice and kept the place very warm.
• As did the wall heaters EVERYWHERE.
• So the hytte has no running water, but it's got electricity out the wazzoo.
• Strange, no?
  
• There were three bedrooms, each with bunk beds.
• The bunk beds were very narrow.
• And the walls were paper thin.
  
• This is NOT a house for sex.
  
• Unless you get down by the fireplace, of course.
• This did not happen when I was there. I don't do girls.
  
• None of the other girls do, either.
  
• The incinerator toilet was out of order.
  
• That really sucked, as we ended up having to use what I named "Nemesis".
  
• Below, a picture of Nemesis.
  
  

Nemesis, originally uploaded by karlakp.

• As a Texan, you are trained from birth to NEVER expose your bare white ass in a wooden shed, in the dark, with no light and no gun, flamethrower or industrial quantities of bug spray. Because something WILL bite it. Obviously, visiting Nemesis was an exercise in ignoring my every basic instinct and exposing my nethers to what I was positive was Certain Death or At Least Real Ickyness.
  
• I found out on Sunday that the other two women also sort of restricted their water intake so that they would not have to go visit Nemesis in the middle of the night. So I was not the only one. This also explained why we drank so much water in the mornings.
  
• I did, once, visit Nemesis at 4 am and was really worried about mooses, elks or evil snowy winter creatures attacking me.
• This did not happen.
• But my ass was damned cold.
• Oh, and you know the term "steaming piles of shit"?
  
• It's true.
  
• Based in fact.
  
• I do not have photographic proof (lucky y'all) but the image is burned in my brain forever.
  
• Ick.
• Nemesisses...(Nemesii?) aside, I really enjoyed the skiing.
  
• Great workout.
• Wish I'd done it sooner.
• Especially as after skiing you get to sit around, drink hot cocoa, shoot the shit about 'the great powder/the icy conditions/or whatever', and eat waffles.
  
• Waffles are the traditional snack in Norway, and let me tell you, they are AWESOME slathered with sour cream and strawberry jam.
  
• Seriously yummy.
• And well deserved after 5 km of adrenaline-washed, heart pounding, stark fearing Newbie skiing.
  
• But damned if I didn't do it.
  
• And did even better the second time! Go me!
• But oh my god did I hurt the next day. Total body workout, and I so felt it.
  
• And I liked it so much I bought poles for Nordic Walking, so that I can continue that sort of work out but without the ice, snow, boots, or increased chance of falling.
  
• Nordic Walking will be my New Sport.
  
• I don't care how silly it looks.
  

heat wave!

It's gonna be minimum 30 degrees F warmer in Paris than here...at time 40 degrees!

I don't know if I should pack the swimsuit or not!

Maybe not...as it's 18F here now.....but it sure makes 48 seem like spring, don't it?


I'm getting my packing together and for this trip I am planning an all black and white pallet based on the awesome graphic damask prints that are out right now...people used to pay me to stencil those on their walls, and now they are freaking EVERYWHERE. My art was ahead of its time, what can I say?

Anyhow, as part of this fashion plan, I have re-acquainted myself with leggings. Yes, leggings. I always did love them, just not in the 80's way with just a big shirt over them. That looks lazy and like you forgot your pants. Oh no, I like them peeking out from under a dress with mary jane flats, or worn with a short skirt and boots. Or, as I have been doing lately, a sort of multi-level multi-layer thing with a lace-edged slip worn with another, shorter dress over that, all tightly belted. So that you have the legging going to the ankles, the slip to the knees and the dress three inches or so over that. I like the way it looks, for me at least. The key is to keep the colors (in my case, black, always black) simple and let the layering speak for itself.

And I am eyeing this awesome bag with a very similar print to the one in the picture, but it's in patent leather...how cool is that?

I mean, it's PARIS, and I must pay attention to my wardrobe, musn't I? One great thing about living in Scandinavia is that even though the fashions here tend to be very same-same, if you do want to experiment it's a great atmosphere for it. The chain stores do have small fashion forward collections that are at least a year ahead of the US. You just have to dig for them.....

snow snow so and so

It's been snowing for two days straight now.

I kind of like it. I have the blah's big time, and I like the silence and quiet of the snow. It forces contemplation. Hibernation. Solitude. It slows down the world and allows rest. (Unless you are a skier, which I am not.) It allows me to crawl into my hidey-hole and not come out. No excuse needed except.... "It's snowing. Blah." Snow is a great excuse for being a lazy, mopey "so and so". (So and so being an expression from my Omi, it was the worst thing she'd say about someone, "Oh, that So and so!")

So...blah. Someone tell me a funny story or something nice. I need it.

Also tell me ...do you title your blog posts first, or do you wait until after you have written it to title it? I find my titles usually change by the time I end the post as I go off on a tangent that was patently NOT addressed in the original title. Half the time i have no idea what i am going to write about until I'm writing. This also tends to be my approach to life, wing it and see what happens.

But right now, blah.

snow, buns and travel

It's getting cold outside. Winter is now here, finally. Earlier this week I ventured out in a skirt with no tights and a t-shirt and sweater, it was quite warm. Now the cold is coming back and according to the news, it's gonna be a doozy. Rrrgg.....

Last fall I gave away my two warmest coats because I thought we were going to move to Dubai. Occasionally, as now, I sort of regret doing that. But I still have my puffy full length parka that I call The Duvet. So not sexy, but I could sleep outside in it and be fine.

In other news, color me confused. I think I have mentioned my addiction to boller. Oh yummy, yummy yeasty goodness sweet buns. They come in two forms, with and without raisins. I prefer without. The ones with raisins always make me feel like there is a bug in my bun, y'know? All brown and lurking.....

So this morning, giving in to the craving (I have gone a week now without a boller, and it's been DAMNED hard, let me tell you) I went to get me a bun, and they only had the ones with raisins. Fine, fine, but when I asked if they had any without raisins, they said they were 'out of them' until tomorrow. Out of the ones without raisins? Until tomorrow? And yet they still make the ones with?

Um, can't they just make up a batch of the dough, but not put raisins in and poof they have boller without raisins? Does this seem strange to anyone else? How can they be out, when it is simpler to make the damn buns without the raisins anyhow? Of course, to suggest that to the baker, you get a look that says, "But these come with raisins. I don't have any without." I felt like I was talking to that guy in Spinal Tap who insisted his amp "Goes to 11".

Plus, I always notice that the ones without raisins sell much faster, yet they always make more with. What the hell is up with that?

Dammit, this annoys me. I make space in my day to indulge (after a week) my craving and I am thwarted by a dunder headed baker who can't just leave the raisins out?

And it still snows.....

I have had some folks ask me about upcoming travel. I mean, it HAS been a month or more since I've been anywhere, last trip was to Tallin at New Year's.

Obviously, January was a travel free month, bummer.

But, coming up, I've got three trips planned. These are all places I have been before, but two of them I have never been to with Rich, so that will be new.

We'll go to Paris for a late Valentine's day trip. I've never been to Paris with someone I could actually, um, make out with, so that will hopefully make it even more interesting than my other trips. Not, of course, that I did not enjoy those, just that now I have someone to mack on.

Rich will have to go to the US for some family stuff in March, so I will take a long weekend in London while he's gone. I've been needing some things from Boots and definitely need a pub visit, or three.

Then not long after that, we will go to Istanbul. I really think Rich will like it, alot, and I feel like I have unfinished business there and that there is so much more to see.

We also looked at Barcelona for a trip, as neither of us has been to Spain, but Oh. My. God. the hotels were so expensive.....so that might have to wait a little, like, after Easter when prices drop a bit. It's expensive to travel around Easter, a big holiday in Europe. Everyone leaves.

Eight big fat inches.

Oh yeah.

All night.

Eight inches.....................................





..................................................................................................Of SNOW, ya pervs!

SNOW!

It snowed all weekend.

I just thought you might want a change from the penis talk.

Snow...in Texas!

It's snowing in Texas! Which, basically, is not quite a miracle? But almost?

Badger posted about it, as did pretty much every other blogger I know in Austin. Some are loving it, others (most of the people I know who blog, actually) are going a bit stir crazy. I mean, it HAS been four days of no work or school for most of them (Monday having been MLK day in the US) and from what I hear, kids start to get antsy by about, oh, Saturday at 10am?

It's just so funny to me that Austin is colder than Oslo right now and will be for a couple of days! With more snow! And ice! So, y'all come on up to Oslo for a bit of warmth and sunshine, ok?

HA hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Dammit. Spoke too soon. We are forecast for more snow tomorrow night. Well, we'll see. Maybe Austin can still beat us.

I still remember the snow of 1987, when I was in college, in Austin, living in the dorms. We all got lunch trays from the cafeteria and used them as sleds down the hill at the LBJ library. I remember that being a GREAT day. Honestly, I haven't sledded since then...guess I should do that this winter, huh?

The best thing about living somewhere that does not have winter weather is that when you DO have it, you make the most of it. Because you know it will be gone in a matter of hours and it won't happen again for years.

Auntie Em Auntie Em It's a twister!

Jeez, y'all. We are having a windstorm and no lie. It snowed yesterday. A bit wet floppy snow. Now the wind is howling and the result of fast hard wind on snow is that the snow gets shaved down and compacted into...ice. We've got wind gusts up to 60mph! Probably it's a good thing it's winter and the trees don't have leaves and there is not much stuff left outside to blow around, otherwise there would be alot more damage than we are getting.

Joy.

What is also interesting is that the weather here has been oddly paralleling the weather in the States lately....at least, the Texas part of the States. Because El Nino? Affects the weather in Norway as well. It's all jet stream related. So y'all have been having a warm winter, as have we. And now you get an ice storm? Yep, check. In fact, this week it will be colder in Austin than it is here.

Welcome to Winter!

We've had a busy weekend. Friday we went to the pub for a beer, which in my case ended up being, like, 8, and then I decided to introduce some newbie Americans visiting here to aquavit. Even *I* knew that was a bad idea.
Anyhow, Rich ended up leaving the bar because he was tired and I sort of partied on for a while. I'd never been there without him and was curious what the "nightlife" at the bar is like late at night. (It's a fairly popular late night spot though I could never figure out why.) So I hung around with some friends who also were staying later and then I learned why the bar is popular: TOTAL pick up joint. Very flattering for the old ego, lemme tell you, as, being an old married lady, getting hit on in bars does not happen to me much because I'm usually with the man. And nothing dampens the ardor of someone trying to hit on you than a 6'7" husband glaring at them in a definite "buggger off" sort of way. But, it seems from my two experiences in bars this year when by myself (in London in August and on Friday) that I still have got something that is pick-upable. So, that made me feel good. I told the husband all about it and I don't think he is going to let me be at the bar without him anymore......

Then last night we went to Hanna's house for a drinks and games night. To say I was off my game is an understatement. Oy. My brain just would NOT work. So I was unfortunately not the life of the party. We had a nice time, even with my slug self. There was a lovely fire and good conversation. We girls DID kick some boy ass playing Pictionary, I swear we were almost psychic with the guessing and the communication. And it snowed on the way home, which was nice as it covered the ice and made walking alot easier. And it was beautiful, too. Never forget the beauty.

Today I am going to make some soup, recreating a recipe we had in Tallinn for vegetable soup with tiny little meatballs in it. Rich is watching some sci fi movie or other and I am about to curl back up with my book.

The wind still howls and pounds on the windows.

greetings from Tallinn, Estonia

If you are like me, you probably don't know much about the smaller of the formerly Soviet states. I still don't, actually but CAN tell you that Tallinn is gorgeous. Well, at least the old city is gorgeous. The rest of it is sort of 'eh', at least what I have seen.

The Old City is exactly what you imagine as a medieval city...houses with tall peaked roofs, pointy fronts, arched doorways and thick wooden doors. Cobbled streets meander in strange angles and the houses butt right up to them. The houses are all washed in soft colors and their walls are bumpy with the hint of stones and wood underneath the color. As it gets dark here as early if not earlier than in Norway, the candles are out in full force, and everything twinkles with the lovely just after Christmas glow.

It's ass cold and everyone and I do mean everyone is wearing hooded parkas, including, luckily, me. I like walking around in what is essentially a duvet. It's cozy. It's no colder than where we arrived from, so the cold does not bother me at all.

Laast night we went to a place called the Beer House and had...beer. Big beers. Lots of beers, all yummy. (Note to Lee...nyah nyah, they had really good unpasteurized beer in 1 litre sizes, nyah nyah!) We ate at a restaurant situated in the bottom of an ancient Dominican monastery (1246 it was built) and the food was GOOD and cheap and the servers were all lovely and very very freindly. It was a local hangout, and so very good.

OK, Rich is giving me the evil eye that says "Get off the damned computer and get going" so I better go. If he doesn't get his breakfast he can be a real grump.....

Hopefully I can upload pictures later.....got some great shots of the main square at night...with the moon and everything!

differences

I bet in the US there's lots of traffic as everyone runs around like mad things trying to do their last minute shopping. Traffic and commerce and stress.....

Here? Quiet. Quiet as anything. Everything closed by about 6 yesterday. NOTHING is open, and won't be until the 26th or the 27th, and the streets are empty. This morning I didn't hear a car go by on what is normally a very busy road for over an hour. We went for a walk this afternoon, and nobody was about, except for people going for walks and people going to church. The church was hopping; I think we went by right about time for the service. Like many Americans, most Norwegians only go to church at Christmas and Easter. Many people were visiting the graves of lost loved ones, carrying candles and small lanterns and pine boughs to place on the graves. A lot of women wore their bunads (traditional Norewegian dresses). They are so lovely, and I would love to have one, but they are decorated according to their regional differences, and I can't decide on what region I would get, as they are all so lovely. They are also crashingly expensive, they can cost upwards of $10,000. Which means the probability of my getting one is not high....

Some sort of wierd warm front came though last night and it was 10 degrees celcius here this morning. It cooled off as the day progressed, but this weather is just very strange. I didn't wear a coat on our walk, just a heavy sweater. Some of the fields are green and fresh looking, and there were buds on some of the bushes. I read the Austin paper online and they were saying it might freeze or snow there...it's like winter got turned upside down.

I have mixed up my boller dough and am waiting for it to rise. It was a lot stickier than I thought it would be, when I was kneading it....I didn't knead for long because it all just stuck to me. I'm just not a baker, I prefer to cook. Well, we'll see what happens.

We got an extra minute of daylight today. I think I really felt it....not.

yet more christmas insanity and a pleasant surprise.

It still hasn't snowed here. But it's been very humid and foggy, so the trees and all the available surfaces have a good covering of hoarfrost , so it looks like it snowed, kind of. This morning was very foggy.



But then it cleared up.



The frost is damned slippery though and I almost ate it like 12 times today. You can't see that the ground is slippery, but oh my oh my it is slipperier than a greased pig. And, to continue the colorful expressions, I've been busier than a one armed paper hanger in a windstorm today. So I've done alot of walkin' and slippin'.

I had to do the big Christmas grocery shop today. So did the rest of Norway. All of us packed into the one Ultra grocery store, and everyone with big carts, all trying to get past that damned bottleneck in the frozen foods aisle. Maybe, just MAYBE, it's a good idea to NOT put up the giant animated scary talking ho ho ho-ing Santa Claus right in the middle of the frozen foods on the busiest shopping day of the year? I dunno, just an idea. Arg. He hit me with his big animated meaty waving arm when I got stuck standing under him. I almost punched him.

Anyhow, I pushed on through and got my turkey breast for $12 a pound. (I could have had a whole turkey for cheaper, but did not WANT a whole turkey, not for two of us. I did that LAST Christmas and had so much leftover turkey I could still be eating it NOW if I wanted to.) I also got a Juleskinke (a ham) and sundry other items that all ended up costing an assload more than I expected. But what the hell it's Christmas and I finally got into the spirit of the beknighted thing, like, TODAY. I even bought a tiny little cypress tree to be a Christmas tree slash outdoor plant. It's cute. And soft and furry. I just like to pet it.

The surprising thing was...today? At the Ultra? They had BAGGERS. Yes, a person who took my things and placed them in bags FOR ME. I could have DIED I was so thrilled. I told the young man (yes, I use terms like "young man" now that I am old) that there are people who do this for a living in the US and he didn't really believe me. Then, when I told him that the baggers will also take your items to your car for you, he was verily blown away. See, a cultural exchange, right there at the overpriced grocery store. He did a GREAT job bagging by the way. Nothing squooshed, nothing mashed, all as it should be. You Weegies sure are taught good bagging skills at an early age!

Anyhow, here is a picture of what is passing for Christmas decor Chez Texpatriate this year. We are fairly minimal, though I do have alot of tree decorations from past years. This year, though, it's just us and a house with alot of red accents.



And, thank effing god, it's the winter solstice, which means the days from here on out get longer. It'll still get dark really early for a while, but each day we gain light, and that is heartening. We all wait for Christmas not only for the holiday, but also because we know the darkness has reached its end......

northern lights?

I've been told that tonight there will be a very good chance to see the northern lights. Like, the best chance this far south in Norway in 20 years. Woo! They were seen just the other night as well, though I missed them then.
Apparently this new visibility is caused by a confluence of things, including the movement of the North Pole farther south....so that the northern lights will become more frequently visible in the coming years as they follow the magnetic poles. I'm just quoting what folks have told me.

The sky is supposed to be clear. I'm charging my camera batteries. We have a party tonight, but it's at the neighbor's across the hall, so if I DO see something, I can run over and get my camera and start snapping away.

Keep your fingers crossed that I see them and can get you some pictures, ok? I think I would feel like I missed out on a life experience if I lived in Norway for over 4 years and NEVER got to see the northern lights.

working stiff.....

I'm back at work. It's pretty cool. I'm glad to be there. I was apparently mightily missed (mainly because I do a bunch of stuff no one else has time or patience for) and everyone is glad to see me. The project I was working on before I left has not gotten near as far as I hoped it would while I was gone (no one's fault except massive bureaucracy in India) and so I am diving back in to a pile of shit so deep I wonder if I will ever get out.

But, they moved my office, and I got a sweet one a floor up. The whole floor has been renovated and it looks really nice. All cool greys and hip looking brightly colored modernist furniture. My office is WAY better, even the light, and there is a microwave (yeay!) so I can now indulge in things to eat for lunch that are not only cookable with hot water. No more "cup o's" for me!

The only problem is that the whole office upstairs is all wood floors and anyone wearing shoes other than sneakers gets really noisy. You can hear everyone coming for miles. I wore my cowboy boots today and I sure clunked around authoritatively. Course, this also means I hear if anyone comes to my office and so can wake up from my nap if need be. (Kidding! I kid. I actually really like my job and the people I work with. It's very much a place where you are left to your own responsibility and no one watches over your shoulder, which I personally can't stand. As long as you get your stuff done, they don't care when or how you do it. Rock on!))

I'm still not back on my sleep game. But it seems no one else is, either. We all just want to be in bed all day but at night the sleep won't come. It's very tiresome. Huh huh.

It's 4:45 now and pitch black outside. I am counting the days til the 22nd, when the darkness trend reverses and the days grow 2-3 minutes longer each day. Just think...in ten days that's an extra half hour of light!

Lest you think that I've gotten boring, or have abandoned traveling, never ye fear. We go to Tallin, Estonia, after Christmas. No, I don't know anything about Tallin, either.

DANGIT! also, DVD-palooza

I got up at noon today.

I HATE that. The darkness outside coupled with the sleeplessness and me getting up at 3 am for a cup of tea and then going back to bed and then not waking up again until noon....HATE IT. Day wasted already.

Grrr....

Anyhow, to keep me entertained during this time of hibernation, I brought back the following DVD's:

My Name is Earl, season one
Scrubs, Season 4
The Office (American version), seasons 1 & 2
Six Feet Under, season 5 (been DYING for that one)
How I Met Your Mother, season 1 (no idea, looked cute)
The Libertine**
The Notorious Bettie Page
Ghostbusters 1&2 (I know, I KNOW!)

If you think I am bad, Rich completely geeked out and got the Star Trek Geek Box (the original Star Trek in those plastic lunch box looking containers?), all the BattleStar Galactica he could get his hands on, Star Wars 1-3 (and by "1-3" I mean the REAL ones where each dvd has the original movie theatre version we all love as well as the fucked up later Luca-vision version), The Fifth Element, The Day After Tomorrow, Dune and a bunch of other sci fi stuff. (Dude, he IS a geek! Oh my GOD!)

So please excuse me as I warm up my remote finger and get going on the first of my series, "My Name is Earl".

No, Grant, you can't borrow them til we are done.....you neither, Jennifer LL!

***If you have not seen "The Libertine", just get up, go get it somewhere, and watch it. It is the single most riveting performance of Johnny Depp's I have ever seen. He is a brilliant, flawed, intense, depraved character and you cannot take your eyes off him. AND if the very first scene in the movie does not give you a warmth in your nether regions, just him talking, and I don't care WHAT sex you are, you ain't got no genitals. Aw yeah, Johnny, I'm up for it too......

Happy Halloween

There's a way nasty windstorm going on outside. The wind cuts and it's mixed with big snowflakes/sleet. Umbrellas work only to a point. The wet gets under, over and around anything you wear to avoid it. My hair, after today, looks an awful lot like that poodle down below......

Which probably explains that we only had one trick or treater this year. And he was the kid from across the hall. (Well, ok, another explanation could also be the fact that we live in a coded entry building, so no one gets in here without an invitation or a wierd magnetic key and keypad thingy that lets you then enter your code.) Anyhow, he was dressed as Dracula. Hopefully the cape will keep him warm on his rounds.

(insert awkward transition here)

A while back Bookhart asked us to post what we do on a day to day basis...what is a typical day for us? I don't really think I have a "typical" day anymore, but I can tell you that at work right now I am so mired down in red tape and stupid organizational busywork that I could just scream. The only thing keeping my humor up is that everyone else at work is pretty much in the same boat in some way shape or form, and we all know it is NOT of our making or even the company's making. What is it about?

We are working with a company in India.

I'd heard that India can be a nightmare of red tape and regulatory busywork, and I'll be damned if that was not spot on. You send them a list they request, and then they come back wanting three more like it, but with small differences that honestly they could have done themselves merely by rearranging the spreadsheet....and then everything has to bear an official company stamp and the signature of whatever poor fucker did the list/spreadsheet/form/whatever. And lately? That poor fucker is me. And let me tell you, organizing documents and forms with original signatures from people that are scattered all over the world is not exactly my idea of a good use of time. Especially when most of those forms don't REALLY need original signatures, they could be scanned and emailed or just emailed as an Excel document with no change in information or whatever. Because, really, how important can my signature be? I'm just the flunky doing the gathering. But sign and stamp I do. DHL is making a bundle off of me.
It's honestly just the absolute WORST example of what bureaucracy can do. I am so impatient with things like this. I hate officialdom for officialdom's sake. (This applies equally at embassies and drivers' license offices.) This has been a big test of my patience, detail orientation and sense of humor. The scary thing is, when I leave for my high school reunion? It still won't be done and I will have to hand over the stamp to someone else....yet anotherr poor fucker down the line.

blood! gore! lasers!

I try to keep the blog fun and funny, but sometimes dammit, I just don’t feel it. The weather lately has been rainy and dreary in the extreme, the days are getting shorter and I really, really just find it hard to get out of bed. However, pretty much everyone I talk to is also feeling the same way, so I know it’s just this time of year. No snow yet to brighten the light, the rain is a sad drizzle and I can feel nature withdrawing for the upcoming winter. The Darkness is approaching.

Blah.

There has been a bit of excitement here and there, though. The other day we had this freak electrical storm with massive (and very close) bursts of lightning and thunder. And, as we live in what is basically a tin box on the roof of a building, I definitely was worried about that lightning. I made Rich sit down, because if that lightning came through the ceiling, it would hit his big ol’ head first thing, him being the tallest thing in the house.

Then on Tuesday morning, Rich was getting ready for work and I was desperately trying to not wake up (“just five more minutes and I’ll get up…ok, five more…OK ok five more…”). I heard Rich go "Ow...oh...ooh!" in the bathroom. Not a normal holler, but like, with an edge to it. I knew it wasn't the usual cut himself shaving ow...it was quietly panicked, with a bit of an upturn in his voice that means ‘eek!’

So I got up and went to him, and he had gashed the living shit out of his hand on the sharp edge of the shower wall. This shower has been a problem from the start. It’s made of glass blocks and it’s edged with this aluminum strip that was not put on flush and so the edges are KNIFE sharp. It’s actually a hazard. Here we are in this posh flat, and they build the shower in the cheapest way possible? I don’t get it. Anyhow, he got the top of his hand but good and it just sliced like a ripe peach. Really gross. You could see the workings of his hand. He was trembling and freaked out, but it wasn’t bleeding that badly and he said it did not hurt. We put a towel on it while I looked around for a bandage and he got dressed. I bandaged it up and was surprised that I did not feel sick. Not sure why, I always thought I was a squeamish git but apparently not. I found something to wear and managed to get my hair somewhat down from its pillow-centric state and then we had to find someone to stitch him up.

SO, we weren't sure where to go to get it fixed. The hospital? That's in the next town, about an 8 minute train ride away by express train, or an expensive cab ride. Couldn't think of anywhere else to go, it was 8am and would anything be open anyhow? Our doctor is in a town that is not on the express train line, and we didn't know of a local place we could go. Did we have to be registered at a doctor to go there?. Are any of the legesenters (local doctor's offices) open and could we go w/o an appointment? Is there an emergency clinic? Maybe we should have figured this out sooner?

Rich insisted he was ok to take the train, his hand really wasn’t bleeding, just sort of oozing, and the train is actually quicker than a cab in the morning rush hour. As we waited for the train I called work to say I'd be late. My boss, who rocks, said the local legesenter was very good and we could probably get in there, because she had gone there in an emergency once as well.. And best of all, it was only about 300 feet away.

So we skipped catching the train and went there. We waited about 15 minutes, while I fumed over the rude woman who kept cutting and pushing in front of EVERYONE who walked in wanting to know when SHE was going to get in. I tried shooting her dead with the laser beams in my eyes, but they obviously don’t work without coffee as the energy booster. The woman behind the glass told her to chill out, and she would be called in due time, that emergencies come first. (In my head I did the little “ha ha” from the Simpsons. You know the one…) They called in Rich fairly quickly and Boy-o got five stitches, a tetanus shot and a little talk about how lucky he is that he didn't slice tendons.
While he got stitched, I ran to 7-11 to get a coffee and ran into one of his co-workers, Grant, who’s Scottish (not that this is germain to the discussion, but I just like to always say that Grant is Scottish) and told him that Rich was SPEWING blood everywhere, like a fountain, or like the Black Knight ("It's just a flesh wound!").
OK, not.
But I did tell Grant that Rich was hurt and to spread it around work so that he’d get lots of sympathy the next day. After the doctor Rich spent the rest of the day home with the TV and a cup of coffee. The stitches are very nicely done, and I think he will have minimal scarring. It all cost about $60 and took a little over an hour from start to finish, so woo to the Norwegian health care system. I’ve always been very pleased with the health care here. Way better than in the States, at least for basic stuff. I don’t know about hospitals, but have heard mostly good things.

I went on directly to work afterwards and felt pretty gross without a shower and with some pretty bad bedhead as well. Not my most glamorous day at work…..

Snow. My. God.

It sure has snauxed alot this past week. So much, in fact, that I am calling "uncle" and decamping to London for the weekend.

Which means, of course, it will quit snowing. We've got quite the artistic swoopy piles around us, including that freaky wind-driven snow drift thingy. It has a knife edge top the width of a hair...it's the craziest thing.

I'm bringing Whitey (the iMac, not the husband, though he is rather pale as well) with me, as the hotel advertises free wireless. We'll see.

things you should not do in a blizzard

It's snowing like this is hell and it's freezing over. I swear y'all, the snow is shoulder high now on some parts of our deck. I hope the building can handle all the weight!

Anyhow, I saw some things today that folks were doing that should not be attempted in sleety windy blizzardy SHITTY weather:

1) Do not try to eat a hot dog in a blizzard. It gets soggy, snow gets in your mouth, the wind blows your onions away, the hot dog freezes and it's just generally ugly and not alot of fun.

2) Do not eat said hot dog in a blizzard when you have a pierced lip and some of the hot dog and bun gets stuck in your lip ring, but you are too cold to notice and so it just sorta freezes right there on your lip and becomes a Pork Lip Bun Popsicle sort of thing. (Please, also don't do this when you are standing directly next to a tall Texan redhead on the train platform. It grosses her out, ok, honey? You'd be so cute if you didn't have frozen meat bun in your face.)

3) Bald men should always wear hats. Not only do they look kind of silly with snow perched atop their heads, but it CANNOT feel pleasant.

4) Don't, as I did, wear a fuzzy furry edged coat. It acts as a snow grabber and my jacket got heavier and heavier as snow embedded itself in my fun fluffy faux fur. Urgh.

5) Don't attempt the following things: Walking. Driving. Taking a train (it will be late anyhow). Looking anywhere but down. Leaving the house. Coming to Norway today.

snow up my nose

Freaky weather today. It's snowing every direction.

Like...upside down, sideways, down, around, and sometimes in a sort of triangular motion I've never seen before. All the snowy blowy all aroundy. Down off roofs and off trees and I saw some that was blown onto the very edges of bricks in our building, only to be plucked off in little balls by the howly winds and tossed around in concentric circles. Like the wind is playing catch with mini snow balls.

Of course this means the trains are fucked up AGAIN. I don't know about you, but if I am paying $6-$7 each way for a train ride (and only one stop, mind you, not like I'm going across town) I expect some on time trains, or at least some discounts when the trains are like, half an hour late all day? While I'm waiting there on the platform the snow is playing its tricks, crawling up my nose and down my shirt and UNDER my glasses and sort of perching on my head. There is no where to hide from it. It kind of sizzles when it hits the skin. Little cold pellets of ouchy freeze. I finally get on the train and my glasses steam up so thick I can't see anything, and I just kind of start to giggle because it's all so silly. I watch all the folks on the train annoyed and steamy and fuzzy and itchy and all with big furry hats or hooded coats.

I left work early today to go get my tax card* set up, and of COURSE the tax office closes at 3. I got there at 3:15. And considering that the busses to work only run from 7-9 am and then from work at 3-5 pm, and the tax office is open from 9-3, it could mean I will have to take a WHOLE DAY off just to get this tax thing figured. I wonder if I can do it over the phone. Man what a pain.

*In Norway, you get a tax card at the beginning of the year or when you start a new job. On it you estimate your income for the year, and you pay taxe percentages based on that estimate. If you make more or less than the estimate, you can end up paying quite a bit different (more or less) in taxes than you had thought. It's kind of a wierd system, especially if (like me) you are working on a contract basis and aren't quite sure WHAT you will make.....however, if you end up overpaying, Norway does pay you interest on the overpayment, which is nice. Unlike the US, where they charge you interest if you OWE but you don't get interest if they owe you.

defrosting freezer

It's kind of warm outside.

Well, to a Norwegian it's kind of warm. It's like 45 degrees out, which is officially almost spring like.

It also means that the snow is melting BUT FAST. It's kind of like the outdoors is a giant freezer that's defrosting. Which I'm all for.

Except, overnight, what melted refreezes, so tomorrow morning it will be like an ice-rink out there. The only way to survive is to stick to the little gravel strewn areas provided by the thoughtful folks who live/work in the buildings along the sidewalks. All the older ladies have on their "crampons" a horrible word for spiked shoe bottoms that you can attach to your boots that grip the ice and help you not fall on your ass. For some reason, it's not considered "cool" to wear these if you are under age 55, but fuck it, I wear them anyway. Because, me? Klutz. Bigtime.

Serious tip-toeing going on.. Be careful.

enough already!

I am SICK OF SNOW.

I am TIRED OF SNOW.

Snow is NOT FUN.

Walking down any street is like walking on the sandiest (and coldest) of beaches, you know when your legs go all uneven and it's hard to walk straight because the sand is all cattywampus? The snow on the ground has that wet loose sand consistency, making it an aerobic BITCH to get anywhere. We've got snow piled up almost half way up our floor- to- ceiling windows. That's about 4+ feet! Of snow! Landed where it fell, not moved around by us or anything. Just accumulated, like a freaking gigantic rain gauge that is slowly but surely sucking all the light out of my life.

Outside there are mountains of snow that have been pushed aside by the snowplows. Many of them are over 25 feet tall. It's insane. The Norwegians are telling us, if our doors start getting stuck or not opening properly, we have to go up on the roof and remove the snow as it means it's too heavy for the house. I mean, seriously, what the friggedy fuck? Snow bending your house out of shape?

They say it's the most snow since 1966 or something. Aren't I lucky to be here for that record?

The thing that bugs me most is....all that snow has gotta melt sometime. Spring can be messy and very unlovely, and I remember my first spring here, watching this one damned little pile of snow on our deck slooooowly melting away for all of April, until finally by about May 5th it finally disappeared. It was an excruciating exercise in patience and spring fever, and I remember hating that damned pile of snow. I don't want to think about how long it will take to melt the many feet of snow on our deck now, or the yards of snow along the streets and in the parks.