Wednesday, March 28, 2007

What I learned about Norway

I think this merits another bullet point post. I like not having to write full sentences, worry about transitions or any other such grammatical bullshit. Anyhow, today I'm writing more about my skiing trip.

First of all, the below picture is of the hytte we stayed at.

  • It didn't have running water.
  • That kind of sucked.
  • However, it kind of reminded me of the time I lived in Oklahoma (yes I did and SHUTUP it was only for about 16 months) and worked at a homestead museum and I had to teach kids how homestead people lived in the 1880's and one of the things I had to show was how people did the washing up and stuff, so once I put that in my head and pretended I was all "Little Hytte In the Mountains" and shit it wasn't so bad.
  • Water is DAMNED heavy. Especially in 6 gallon containers.
  • Hytter in general, are, however, very nice and cozy.
  • Like, here is the fireplace:

  • The fireplace was very nice and kept the place very warm.
  • As did the wall heaters EVERYWHERE.
  • So the hytte has no running water, but it's got electricity out the wazzoo.
  • Strange, no?
  • There were three bedrooms, each with bunk beds.
  • The bunk beds were very narrow.
  • And the walls were paper thin.
  • This is NOT a house for sex.
  • Unless you get down by the fireplace, of course.
  • This did not happen when I was there. I don't do girls.
  • None of the other girls do, either.
  • The incinerator toilet was out of order.
  • That really sucked, as we ended up having to use what I named "Nemesis".
  • Below, a picture of Nemesis.

Nemesis, originally uploaded by karlakp.

  • As a Texan, you are trained from birth to NEVER expose your bare white ass in a wooden shed, in the dark, with no light and no gun, flamethrower or industrial quantities of bug spray. Because something WILL bite it. Obviously, visiting Nemesis was an exercise in ignoring my every basic instinct and exposing my nethers to what I was positive was Certain Death or At Least Real Ickyness.
  • I found out on Sunday that the other two women also sort of restricted their water intake so that they would not have to go visit Nemesis in the middle of the night. So I was not the only one. This also explained why we drank so much water in the mornings.
  • I did, once, visit Nemesis at 4 am and was really worried about mooses, elks or evil snowy winter creatures attacking me.
  • This did not happen.
  • But my ass was damned cold.
  • Oh, and you know the term "steaming piles of shit"?
  • It's true.
  • Based in fact.
  • I do not have photographic proof (lucky y'all) but the image is burned in my brain forever.
  • Ick.
  • Nemesisses...(Nemesii?) aside, I really enjoyed the skiing.
  • Great workout.
  • Wish I'd done it sooner.
  • Especially as after skiing you get to sit around, drink hot cocoa, shoot the shit about 'the great powder/the icy conditions/or whatever', and eat waffles.
  • Waffles are the traditional snack in Norway, and let me tell you, they are AWESOME slathered with sour cream and strawberry jam.
  • Seriously yummy.
  • And well deserved after 5 km of adrenaline-washed, heart pounding, stark fearing Newbie skiing.
  • But damned if I didn't do it.
  • And did even better the second time! Go me!
  • But oh my god did I hurt the next day. Total body workout, and I so felt it.
  • And I liked it so much I bought poles for Nordic Walking, so that I can continue that sort of work out but without the ice, snow, boots, or increased chance of falling.
  • Nordic Walking will be my New Sport.
  • I don't care how silly it looks.

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