perfectly good weekend shot to hell

I started sneezing Friday afternoon and haven't stopped since.

Motherfucking rhinovirus.

I have a REALLY busy week ahead at work and absolutely can't afford to be sick, so have done nothing but lay around and drink herbal teas and broth all weekend, hoping to clear up my head. Why must I always get sick after a trip? Dammit!

All that chicken stock I sent down the drain on Friday would have come in handy this weekend......

I added a bunch of pictures to my flickr account (link on left) so go there for more views of gay paree.....

weak but still alive

Well, I'm kind of weak and have a tendency to get dizzy, but I'm ok. I'm drinking some free range chicken broth (still makes me laugh when i envision them trying to gather all that broth from the fields). I also got some water and some electrolyte stuff and some charcoal that I am supposed to swallow and it binds the bad stuff to effectively get it out of my system. My stomach still hurts pretty bad, but no hurling for a few hours, so that is a big bonus.

I found Voss water at the store. Voss water is this super-chi chi water that comes in sleek glass bottles that they tout as the purest of the pure water, direct from pristine Norway. As all Norwegian water is pretty damned good, I figure they probably could use any tap anywhere in Norway to fill those bottles, then sucker pretentious Americans into paying $3 for a bottle. I hear it's the only water Britney will drink.....the bottles ARE cool, but unwieldy as they are heavy and tend to fall over easily.

It's chilling in the fridge and we will have a water tasting soon, comparing Voss to Ozarka, my favorite American bottled water. In the meantime I am drinking my range fed broth and hoping this charcoal crap works soonest.

I can't wait to come home so I can shop at Central Market and Whole Foods, like, all the time.

a fine kettle of fish

OH man can I feel any worse?

I have been hurling ALL NIGHT. I'm getting kind of scared because i can't even drink water without sending it right back up the way it came. And can I just tell you that I am REALLY thirsty right about now? If this continues through tomorrow, am I supposed to go to the hospital for fear of dehydration? I don't know!? I've never had this sort of food poisoning before. IT SUCKS ASS...though maybe I should say it blows. And I'm tired as hell but my tummy hurts too much to let me sleep. And I can't take anything for it, because off the aforementioned and much lamented hurling.

I swear, this house of women I am staying at....we are a fine kettle of fish. One of us is chained by boob to baby (she is the healthy mobile one of us right now and Griffin was a trooper at the hospital when Heather went to get Julia yesterday), one of us will be in some serious hurt after her car wreck (and yeah, she could have DIED were it not for air bags!) and I am a hurling mess.

And I fly back to Norway Saturday and am supposed to be back at my brother's house to do some work on it on Thursday. Let's hope this gets better.

...and in other news,

After Julia got home (she's fine, thank goodness) I don't know if it was stress or what that got me but I totally hurled up all the stuff in my stomach.

What the hell? Twice in one month?

I can't recall doing that twice in over 15 YEARS........

Mexican food is SO much more fun the other direction.

SnoBloTiThro (SnotBlowTissueThrow)

I am not doing this.

For two reasons. 1) I will traveling the WHOLE month and so can't really say I will be able to. And 2) I really, truly can't STAND these hip abbreviations of things. NaBloPoMo? NaNoWriMo? In Austin they now call the South Congress area "SoCo". So would my house in Austin be in WesAus? And folks in Round Rock are in RoRo? People in Georgetown GeTo? Come on, people, USE YOUR WORDS....in full.

While I am on this high horse (and at my age it gets harder to get up there so you might as well stay a while) is anyone else totally and completely SICK of Kate Moss? I mean, DAY-um. She's in every freaking fashion ad in Vanity Fair, every damned photo spread in Vogue, I am so sick of her I could barf. She dates a total loser, lives like a spoiled 18 year old, yet somehow she manages to still be the muse of so many fashionistas? I just don't get it. And I've never thought her to be that gorgeous, either. Versatile, perhaps, but I just never liked her that much. So, Burberry, etc? I won't buy your stuff merely because La Kate is wearing it...I need something better. And possibly less...common?

On to the next rant......

My frigging cold will NOT let go of me. In fact, here's a haiku about yesterday:

Vivid yellow snot
Explodes from my nostril holes.
I am walking death.

Here's another, just for colorful emphasis. Let know one say I am not SE-XY!

Shade not from nature.
Gelatinous Gatorade?
My tissue is full.

Or how's this?

No one on the train
Sits next to girl with snot rags.
Railroad pariah.

Today I get to spend the day waiting for the cable guy and the floor heating guy. Even though our cable broke from no fault of our own and the only way to get it fixed is to get a home visit, always a last resort in Norway, I bet we pay through the congested NOSE for the privilege. They are doing a building wide check of the floor heating, and sent out these notices where they say "we are checking the floor heating in every flat. If you can't be there leave a key with your neighbor". I'm all like, what? Huh? Then how do I get into the building myself? Cuz I need the key to get in! And what if their times are not good for us? jeez....

I think I am most cranky because I have to pack. I have to pack a month's worth of stuff that will cover trips to: Pennsylvania, Houston, Austin and my parents place in the Ozarks. This means encompassing my high school reunion, Thanksgiving, a baptism, sloppy clothes for painting at my brother's new house, and weather ranging from below freezing to really very warm (it wass 85 in Texas last week).

Well, I'll do my usual. Jeans, boots, my sparkle jacket, the dress for the reunion (can work for t-giving and baptism as well) and a variety of t's and accessories. Plus the variety of little gifties I always try to bring,though not near the haul I brought from SouthEast Asia. Must remind self can buy whatever I need in the US.

Gotta go blow nose. But first, must clamber down from horse. These old bones are creaky today.

Istanbul

The plague has taken residence in our abode. Run away from us, run quickly. Ye who know us in Norway, avoid us, for yay we do carry death. The red X is on the door and we are quarantined. Oh woa was us.

Yep, Rich is sick too. It's a veritable slothfest around here. Pyjamas have been worn for two days straight. Tissues run amok. Nose sprays multiply like pointy little bunnies. It's a bad bad scene.

So, to remember happier days, pics from Istanbul, including.....SHOPPING!


Here's a sneak picture my Dad took of me at the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul. Yes, I do have a very serious face on. It's because, probably, I had just asked the guy what the price of that scarf was and he named some outrageous price, so I, in return, put on my "You are fucked in the head" face. It's all part of the game. I have learned there are two kinds of people in the world, those who like to bargain (me and my father) and those who don't (surprisingly, my mom.) I fucking LOVE bargaining.

This is Zincirli Han. The hans are little courtyards off the bazaar, or sometimes kind of in the middle, (it is a vast and "byzantine" place) where the traders and caravanserie used to rest and store their goods. It was also a place for travelers and their livestock to stay in the old days, when going from trading place to trading place. They can be very charming. This one is famous for being occupied by jeweler's shops.

In the Grand Bazaar.

The sort of thing you can buy in the Grand Bazaar. (ahem.) I also got some in black. Because, hello? When will I get back there again? You quickly learn, if you like it, bargain for it and buy it, because God only knows when you will ever see embroidered silk and leather lined boots again in your lifetime. (grin)

Ok ok enough of the shopping (and news break...... OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S SNOWING. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!). Colleen always has a rule when traveling: You must do at least an hour of actual touristic sightseeing before can you go shopping. Like eating your vegetables before dessert. So, here's some pics of non-shopping related stuff.

Street scene outside a restaurant we had lunch. Istanbul is a buslting vibrant city. It is peaceful in no way shape or form. Except maybe in the Hagia Sophia or the different mosques.

A view of the Bosphorus I got when I pointed my camera out an open window that was a bit above my head in the Hagia Sophia.

A small courtyard inside the harem at Topkapi Palace. The whole thing was covered in the most beautiful tilework. There was alot of decoration. Every surface was painted, tiled or covered with something.

Byzantine mosaic in Hagia Sophia.
The building was the most amazing edifice I have ever been in. Just imaging the things that have happened there, the history that has passed in out and around it....fifteen hundred years of time and humanity. 9th century Viking grafitti? .... written by someone from half a world away, just casually left on a banister that I leaned on!

Everyone should see this building at some point in their lives.

ggrrgggsniffbleagh

So yesterday I went to the local Apotek (pharmacy) so see if I could find ANYTHING to help me with this cold/plague. Besides a small and expensive selection of weak cough medicines and nose sprays, there wasn't much. Norway has very strict rules on medicines, and so stuff like Nyquil (which contains alchohol) and most of the sinus stuff (which has stuff to make you sleepy or just feel floaty) you could buy in the US is verboten. (Norway's alcohol rules are so strict that rubbing alcohol is sold by prescription here, in case someone would use it to make moonshine. Seriously. I shit you not.) And dammit, I wanted some good old- knock- me- on- my- ass SOMETHING to make me forget who I was and blowtorch the snot right outta me.

No luck. I bought whatever they had, but really, saltwater nasal spray (called, humorously enough for me, Miwana, like "Me wanna nose spray!") or even Otrivin (yet another nose spray that works for a bit, but doesn't solve my myriad other problems) just does not give me the yaya's that a good heapin' does of Sudafed or Contac does. Dammit.

So there I was after my trip to the Apotek. I was in my sweats, with my scummy old sheepskin lined Ugg slides and my horrid but warm down coat that feels like a walking duvet, shuffling through the little shopping center and blowing continuously into a ragged tissue, when I saw a Fashion Gal of the first order. She had on her beautiful warm toned expensive brown sweater, her just perfect jeans tucked into fierce boots and she carried the latest Chloe Paddington bag, the one with the big lock on it (that I have looked at in the shops, but that lock weighs like 2 lbs and I'll be damned if I want a purse that's even HEAVIER than what I already carry and has a big stupid lock on it). And I'm looking at her sashaying around, and I'm thinking, "Hey! HEY! I'm a Fashion Gal too, you know! Just because I am having an off day and feel like death warmed over and look like the village idiot, does not mean that you are any more fabulous than me! I'm just on a break! A break from fabulousness! You just wait til I feel better! I've got nice handbags at home, too, you know! I'm just too sick to carry one right now!"

I hate being caught on an off day. Whatever. I blew my nose and shuffled home in a fog of snot, dizzyness and chills. I promise I will return to fabulousness next week. This week? Lost cause.

Worst. Fucking. Cold. Ever.

Brief pause/rant in the middle of all the Turkey fun.

This fucking cold will NOT let go of me. It's the 5th day of this peice of shit and I swear, now? I really think I do have the plague. Minus the buboes and death. Hopefully. You can never be too sure.

What really sucks about all this is that every day this cold is different. One day was the deep chest cough. Then the sore throat. Then the combo of the two. That hurt, no lie.

Monday I didn't go to work becuase I thought I'd take it easy and make sure I was ok, that was the day I felt weak and dizzy. Yesterday I did go to work and had to come home with bad chills. And now? Oh now is fun. Now is the Snot Monster. My nose is so snotty it itches to breathe through it. I look like a medieval idiot, sitting here with my mouth open, my face droopy and bleary eyes, just trying to see or breathe. I'm hawkin' up loogies the size of....well, really big loogies.

This is seriously pissing me off, y'all, not least because I don't have the medicine for ALL these contingencies. I have cough medicine (expectorant/decongestant). I have Nyquil (nightimesnifflingsneezingcoughingachingstuffyheadfeverso I can be stoned medicine). And I have Benadryl, see the desciption for Nyquil, except it's really only all about being stoned. I can't take the second two and be a functioning adult human in the daytime, and the cough stuff is doing fuck all for the itchiness and heaviness in the middle of my face.

The only thing worse than me having this? Is when Rich gets it. Because a) things hit men harder and b) I really am a shitty nurse.

Back to regularly schedule travel goofiness.