Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I drank the Kool Aid

Well shit.

I bought skis.

Cross country skis.

I've been skiing once. (scroll down the page for the story)

It went ok, mostly.

Except for the screaming.

But I am game to try again, even though it has been two years since I did it. (Yeah! Two years! I kind of can't believe it!)

So I have Fischer skis and Alpina boots with ankle support (I am old, and I don't want to hurt my ankles any more than I already did in my twenties. Sprains really hurt.) I have Swix poles. I have a wool undershirt and wool long johns. I have water/windproof pants. I have a fleece. I have a sporty outdoorsy "I've been to Svalbard and you haven't" Bergans jacket. I've been studying ski wax articles and learning lots. (Especially read the history portion of this article and let me know what you think, seriously.) I've got it all, people, all of it, there's nothing more I need.

Except the loss of my almost paralyzing fear of doing this. I mean, skiing sort of makes me do all the things I don't like: Be out in snow. Be cold. Be sweaty. Be sporty. Propel myself across icy winter landscapes. Wear plastic pants. Be in a very real position of hurting myself. Also be in the possible position of peeing outdoors. Possibly doing the last two things at once.

I don't like any of those things individually. But, put them together (except the peeing and hurting myself parts) as 'skiing' and it becomes something larger, something that I remember thinking was kind of cool (if also sort of heart poundingly scary as a newbie.)

So on Thursday I am going skiing with Pam, and then this weekend, barring injury or death, I hope to go again, maybe with Elaina and Kristin (and Pam of course if she is up for it). I hope to get someone else to go Thursday as well, as I think I will need two people to get my ass up after I fall. Or to carry me home after I die.

**Sample conversation when skiing:
Kristin/Pam: "Karla, that is not a hill. That is a speedbump. You've gone into a driveway. Dumbass."
Me: "AAAIIYYEEEE! A speed bump! A road! It's too fast! I'm gonna DIIIE!!!!!."
Pam/Kristin: "Karla, you've just gone over the speedbump sitting on your skis. Are you going to go the whole trail that way?"
Me, looking up at them from a squatting postion on my skis: "Yes. Consider it a new way to sledge. I will push myself along with my poles. I'm calling it Midget Skiing. A new trend."
Kristin/Pam: "Dumbass."
Me: "Hey! is that dude over there waxing his skis or is he just jerking off?" (I told you to read the history portion of that ski wax article!)

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