Sunday, April 15, 2007

drunken karma

Friday night we went for our usual after work 'knees up' at the local pub cum restaurant cum 'nightclub'. (Huh huh she said 'cum'.) When the generally cozy pub becomes a nightclub, the place just changes and every wierdo in our part of Norway comes out. Oh the stories I've heard...and the things I've seen. (No really, it's amazing. Truly.) Norwegians certainly enjoy their drunkenness and work it 100%. No holding back there.

It was kind of a wierd night, honestly, the vibe was funky. I think maybe most of us got too drunk too fast, it was a GORGEOUS day and we sat outside and drank beers for about three hours before we ate anything...and I don't know about everyone else but I was hungry as hell when I started off. So my three or four beers I had before I ate hit me like a ton o' bricks. I saw a few glassy eyed folks at our table by 9pm. I thought I was going to have to stumble home by 9:30, but rallied late in the game by judicious applications of water and a pause in the beer.

In a beautiful example of karma biting people in the ass, at one point I was charged into, practically knocked over and otherwise bodily walloped by the HUGE drunk guy who was sitting at a table behind me. I was standing, about to sit down and he just slammed into me like a ton of lard covered bricks. I, of course, protested, but he didn't even say 'scuse me' or anything, just gallumphed off to the toilets. (This happens alot, at the pub. Drunk people body slam you, you protest, they look right through you and move on. So much for the remnants of manners when drinking. They become my Instant Enemies and I give them Evil Glares for the rest of the night. I give good glare.)
Anyhow, about an hour later, drunk boy decides to dance, thinking, one can only assume, that he is the newest contestant in So You Think You Can Dance. He hefts himself onto the dance floor, the only person out there, glowing in his white shirt under the black lights and whirling funkydelic disco lights they gamely turn on every night after 11. He then does a singularly uncoordinated Drunken White Boy move...and falls crashing to the ground, sideways. It looked like nothing so much as a tree falling to the ground, you could almost hear the cartoon tree falling sounds.....eeeeeerrrrrooooowwwwwooosssh....BAM! He fell so hard the floor shook. I felt it, 20 feet away. Being drunk, of course, he was made of rubber, so just hopped right back up and pranced around with his arms in the air, all like, "Yeah! Woo! I'm drunk and I fell! I'm COOL!"

I laughed very, very hard. Evil, gasping, bwah haHAHAHAHAHAHA HA!!!!!!!!! laughter. It was very satisfying. It's good to know my evil dominion over space and time still works.

Our Friday nights are pretty wierd. But I like them. It's always a fun group of folks from every country in the world and there is never lack of interesting things to talk about, discover about each other or generally enjoy. Plus, it's really excellent watching the drunk guy fall over. Any suggestions on what I can make him do next week?

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