I am not cool enough for our new flat

Seriously. I am just NOT cool enough for this place.

We met with the landlord and the housing agency reps today to get keys, etc., for the new flat. It's AMAZING. We have a whole binder which I now must read just so I can understand how the wiring for the cable/broadband/phones/intercom/evil killer laser system/missile silo/etc., works. There are buttons that pop out for the oven, and things that go "beep" on the stove and things that go "whhhiiirrrr" in the bathroom. There are controls for the outside blinds, and individual controls for heating in each room (though the heating is in the floor through water pipes?) and a pop out ironing board in the utility room (wonder what THAT is for).

There's a thingy on the door where, when someone rings downstairs, you get a video image of them standing there, so you can decide if you want to let them up or not. You can turn the doorbell on or off. (Sweet!) And we have a little infrared key thingy that we have to point at a screen and then enter a code, just to get INTO the building.

You can rearrange the phone outlets however you wish just by moving a cable in the motherboard thingy in the utility room. Ditto internet and cable. I'm kind of confused as to how that all works, as I am someone who still, to this day, thinks, "Cool! Lookee there!", when I flick a lightswitch and it comes on.

I peed in my new toilet today. Nothing new to report there, no self lifting lid or seat belts necessary. Fairly reassuring, to know that at least toilets haven't changed all that much. Though I did have to close the outside blinds using the wall buttons, which took a little bit of time to figure out. Might just get curtains. The toilet is right next to the window, I could wave to the neighbors across the way while sitting on the can. (Gives new meaning to the Python phrase, "I fart in your general direction!")

Of course, all this cool stuff means only one thing. Now that I am TRULY psyched about living there, we will get transferred. It's inevitable. I've seen it happen too many times. Someone buys a house or gets into a really sweet pad, and boom, they are gone.

Just let me be there long enough to fully understand the lightswitches, ok? That's all I ask.