I'm one of only 315, so far.

I've been given an award! Thanks Christina! (There's some rules, though, which are copied and pasted below. Seems like alot of work, but I think I've got it all done.)



*Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.

*Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

* Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.

* Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit This Post (same one as linked above) and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!

*Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

(Whew! Right now maybe I am thinking it's just a way for the Superior Scribbler creator to get as many links as possible to their blog. Because I am cynical like that.)

So, for my 5 Superior Scribblers, I hereby attack:

Bookhart
For her amazing writing skills and thought provoking posts. I love her more than I can ever say.

Karla May
For frequently making me snort milk out my nose. Which is less painful than vodka, granted, but still messes up he keyboard on my Mac.

Po
He's a poet. (Ha! Ha! No pun intended! Maybe he's more of a Po. It?) Always has been.

Mags
The bitch can write! And I like her. And I miss going to the gym with her and falling off the step in Step Class.

Dave
Because he's one of my oldest internet friends and I want to make him follow these Byzantine rules just to annoy him.

************
And in other news:

Yesterday after my walk I got Cake Obsessed. This happens to me every so often. I go without cake for a long time, then have a piece, and it's like the floodgates are opened and I. Must. Have. Cake. I am, you see, a total Cake Whore. My favorite cake is chocolate with white icing. My second favorite is yellow with chocolate icing. (And then there was the cake Bookhart gave me once with the caramel icing that she brought me back from Jackson Mississippi, that was so fugging good I still dream about it, but I can't put that on the list in good conscience because, honestly, lightning? Doesn't strike twice. Cake that good can't be had more than once or twice in a lifetime.)

I'm also a whore for carrot cake with cream cheese icing and Red Velvet cake. Mmm.....are we sensing a pattern here? That it's mostly about the icing?

So anyhow, I got my Cake Obsession after the walk yesterday and baked a chocolate cake. Just a big 13x9 inch pan one, nothing fancy. I thought we had a bucket o' Pillsbury icing, but it turned out we didn't, and it was Sunday and stores are closed, so I was forced to make my own buttercream icing. (Luckily I had all the ingredients, but seriously, any kitchen that doesn't have butter, sugar and vanilla is a very sad kitchen indeed, in my book. Some things are just basics, you know? )

Anyhow.

I am never buying bucket icing again. Buttercream icing is THE SHIT and is so damned easy to make. And it kicks the ass of bucket icing, like, by a factor of 1000.

I can't keep my fingers out of that cake. There's a gutter around the edge of the whole thing where I run my fingers, you know, to 'smooth' out the icing so it looks even.

I'm going to have to go for another walk. Very very soon. I have to work off the cake.

Today's walk

Today's walk, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Went for a good walk today, up to an old farm that served coffee and pastries. It's a blustery cold day, everyone had pink cheeks and blown hair. I felt like I deserved my chocolate cake when I got to the top of the hill!

Comme des Garcons at H&M

Yep, I got some.

For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about, here's the scoop.

I got the jacket pictured in the middle which fits really nicely and is very comfortable and flattering. It's made of boiled wool, so it's a bit linty, but the sleeves are fully lined as is the back so it is easy to wear. I also got a couple white shirts, one with ruffly bits at the bottom (3/4 down) of the sleeve, and another which I can only describe as a dead ringer for Seinfeld's Puffy shirt, minus the ruffles on the body. I managed to snag a polka dotted cardigan as well, as seen on the models and on Katie Holmes (joy of joys, not). I wanted the scarf but those were snatched up before I could get one, as was the "showpiece dress", seen on the right. Apparently each H&M store only got about 5 of those dresses, so unless you were first in line and made a beeline straight for it, you are so not gonna get one. As with Cavalli, I was early in line but just as I got to touch the dresses they were swept off by grabby bitches. (I'm not too disappointed, though, as the dress was cool, but it was shorter in the back than in the front, and if you got a booty at all, you know that you never wear things that are shorter in back because it just looks like yo' ass is too big and taking up all the fabric. It is beautifully made, though, almost more a work of art than anything else.)

Honestly, though, this time it was not near as crowded as the Cavalli collection, it was almost civil. The collection is simple, now quite as avant guarde as I was expecting, though I think the bottoms were disappointing. The jackets and tops, great, but the deconstructed bottoms will only fit skinny people. The one pleated skirt was cute, but the one side of it was 'deconstructed' and it just made my hips look finny. I would have liked to have the wide legged pants but never saw a pair, I wonder if they even got those in Norway or what? Wide legged pants are very refreshing in this world of skinny jeans, I am really starting to hate skinny jeans with a fiery passion. The saggy bottomed Hammer pants, are, apparently, the Next Big Thing for next season, but hello? Been there did that. I have decided that I won't wear Hammer pants or bubble skirts again, no matter HOW popular they ever get, I am so past that now. (Even though hammer pants are surprisingly comfortable, the only problem being they do tend to restrict your legs movements a bit.)

I also got a kick ass hat, not quite a fedora but shaped like one, smaller brim. I think it's water proof, it shook off really nicely the Coke I accidentally spilled on it earlier today.

All in all I enjoyed the collection, I like the quality of what I got, with an unexpected bonus of comfort and ease of wear. It's a little bit edgy (I think the real edginess comes in the bottoms in the collection, of which I bought none) but no more edgy than the stuff I wear already.

Vietnamese Snot with Pork

I had a craving for Vietnamese food tonight. Vietnamese food is my favorite Asian style food. It beats out Thai, Chinese Japanese, Korean, and whatever else that is Asian. I could eat it every day and never get tired of it. (Rather like the Vietnamese, I guess.)

My favorite Vietnamese dish is Bun, vermicelli with roasted pork and fish sauce. Unlike Pho, it's not a soup, it's more like a noodle salad. I can't find any good Vietnamese food anywhere in Oslo, so I learned how to make Bun myself. (My favorite Bun is with roasted pork and eggrolls, but I can't get a decent pre-made eggroll to save my life here so have given up the eggroll part and just go with the pork. I miss the freezers at Central Market where I could get pot stickers and egg rolls and all sorts of nummy bits that tasted just like at the restaurants.)

So, anyhow, I ran home from work and stopped by the grocery store to get a small pork loin. I broiled it with a hoisin glaze and let that rest while I made the Nuoc Cham sauce (fish sauce, lime, sugar and chile) and cut up all the little veggie bits to go with the pork and noodles. Then I made the noodles. The directions said to bring water to boil, drop in noodles, immediately remove from heat and let sit for three minutes. Then rinse in cold water.

Which I did.

And the noodles? Had the exact texture of snot, or possibly a jelly fish. Slimy, clear and sort of disturbing. (Hmm, I thought, this isn't right. I've made this before and I never got snot!)

I really didn't have anything else to substitute. I could have made rice but didn't want to wait the 20 minutes that would take. And I didn't really have enough pork to make it a main dish. Rich is pretty big so I have to think about portions sized enough to fill up a 2 meter tall guy.

So I ended up putting the pork and the vegetables on the snot, as planned, ladled over the Nuoc Cham sauce, and we had a very tasty pork and veggie on snot salad. If you didn't think about snot, it was really good. Tasted just right. And it was filling, too. But next time I will try a different brand of noodle. The Non Snot brand.

I've been in a class all week at work, a safety class, QHSE being a big deal where I work, so haven't had much time to blog. Sorry about that. I promise to do better. (Later). I am very safe now, however, so that is good. I practiced safe cooking tonight and didn't do stupid tricks with the Snot Noodles or anything. So it is possible to learn as you get older. I am proof.

In another completely different direction, here is a book recommendation. I think she is me. I think I wrote this book but nobody told me I did it. Seriously. She even cusses like me AND she's from Austin. She started off as a blogger, and now she has a book AND there's a movie coming out based on her book, so maybe there is hope for me someday. Maybe. Any editors out there wanna take a chance on a Texpat? I cook, blog, cuss, and eat snot noodles (safely). I'm a book waiting to happen!

I am becoming my mother, example 12

It started a few months ago. I noticed that if I wanted to look at something close up, it helped if I removed my glasses. I started looking over them, in that way particular to 'people over 40', peering over the lenses as if I was in deep thought when in fact, I only was trying to see the needle I was threading. Threading a needle was something I never had a problem with before, in fact I was always proud of my needle threading skills. 1,2,3.....Good hand-eye coordination, sharp sight (through the glasses, I mean) and grab that needle and that thread, shove it through and poof, needle threaded. No thought no fussing involved. Just, done in a second.

Now? To thread a needle? Many steps.

1. Turn on punishingly bright light. Place light 1.5 feet from my head, light in line with job at hand.
2. Find needle with EXTRA BIG hole.
3. Make sure thread is neatly cut, no fuzzy bits or anything to interfere with the delicate operation ahead.
4. Remove glasses. (Place glasses where I can find them later.)
5. Hold up needle and thread approximately 3 inches from eyes.
6. Move needle and thread back and forth from face trying to find that little place where I can see them clearly. Do this for 10 minutes.
7. Tongue automatically goes into place in corner of mouth slightly outside lips, in classic "I'm concentrating really hard here" fashion.
8. Squint.
9. Stab thread at needle approximately 15 times before thread goes through extra large needle hole.
10. Tie knots in end off thread with same intense concentration.
11. Sew item (usually buttons).

I used to laugh at my mom when she would thread a needle. The concentration involved, the bright lights, the many failed attempts before success. What really always made me laugh was the expression on her face, the head down, frown, eyes up look that is instantly familiar if you have ever spent even a little while with someone over 40.

And now I am doing it. *I* am looking over my glasses with that bemused, 'I can't see you but don't I look smart and thoughtful' expression. *I* am having the problems putting on the mascara, as I no longer know where is the best place to hold the mirror...too close I can't see but too far is not good either. The mirror goes back and forth as I gamely attempt to focus on the efforts of my right hand to gouge out the eyeballs in my face, all in the name of beauty. (Major shout out here to Dior Show mascara. it has a brush so large you just wave it in the vicinity of your eyes and it hits something you want hit. A blind girl's best friend.)

I almost can't see close up at all in my contact lenses. I have to stand about 3 feet from the mirror to see my face then, and that, my friends, is dangerous when you are dealing with liquid eyeliner. Dangerous indeed.

I find myself, when reading, moving the book back and forth from my face in a pendulum of desperation, to find that place where both eyes will focus on the words I want to see, just wanting to hold still and see the damned page like I used to.

I DON'T WANT BIFOCALS! I'M TOO YOUNG! I REFUSE TO GIVE IN! I'M NOT A GROWN UP YET!

Give me back my simple nearsightedness. I was cool with that. I knew how to deal with that. This change in my sight, this transition zone between youth and whatever the hell I am now, is freaking me out big time.

grrr rackin' frackin' farga' rarga...(think Yosemite Sam)

You know how Yosemite Sam would get mad and just mumble these nonsensical muttery angry noises?

That's been me all day.

It's just been a day where the little things WON'T GO MY WAY. (And after such a wonderful, BIG PICTURE Wednesday, it is so frustrating to come down to Earth only to be bedeviled by crass stupid day to day things, you know? Put me back on that cloud!)

I've been having intense problems with my Yahoo email, and then my computer at work had to be completely wiped out and restored because it basically became a brick that froze everytime I tried to do something. The weather sucks, and in the midst of all the rain and yuckiness, I have spent the past THREE DAYS updating passwords and computer shit and networking crap just to make the computer at work usable again and try to make my rackin' frackin' yahoo email work again (still no luck.)

I am SO SICK of passwords. I need about 10 (I've lost count) different ones at work for a variety of softwares and tracking systems, and then I come home to have Yahoo not accept my passwords and all this other shit and I am PASSWORDED OUT! How many fugging passwords can one person have to deal with on a day? Is this just me, or is this a common thing, this password overload. I mean, passwords to log in to my computer and to log in to the network and to log in to the internet and to log in to the invoicing system and then more log ins for work tracking and data tracking and databases and my Outlook email at work and the security system (VPN means Vicious Pernicious aNnoyance) and the contacts database and the work home page and the web based informations system and so on and on and on. I've given up trying to remember the work log ins. I file them all in a safe place (password protected, natch) and look them up as needed. I wish they would give me one master password for everything, but no, that is not 'safe'.

And then once you get home and log in to get onto the freaking internet there's passwords for the NYT and the Austin American Statesman and Google and Yahoo (and that one is not working so I am stuck in a 'looping login' which means it wants me to enter my password only to send me right back to the log in page again!) and Amazon and my bank and the Norwegian bank and the credit cards and the web email and blah blah blah blah FUCKING BLAH.

I never write down passwords, just seems like an exercise in stupidity, but seriously, my brain is getting overwhelmed and I'm having problems remembering and I just don't know what to do anymore. There's security and then there is insanity.

I am definitely on the road to the latter. Rackin' frackin' schnag' ragga' varmints.

Sweet

I spent the whole day thinking it was Wednesday, and didn't realize until about 3:30 (pretty much end of a Norwegian work day) that it was actually Thursday today. Which means tomorrow is Friday. And I can sleep late Saturday! Which is right after Friday! Which is tomorrow!

That's pretty much it for today. Me looking forward to naps and laziness. This "morketid" (dark time) in Fall/Winter always gets to me.

Dark by 4.

I want a nap.

A Weight Lifted

I'm probably not going to express this right, so try to read through the words into the meaning.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off me.

For the past 6 1/2 years (yes, six and a half) I have been doing my damnedest to hide my Americaness. When I travel, when I'm at work, when I'm out and about in Oslo....I was never proud of where I came from. (OK, I love being a Texan, but an American? Not so much.) A few times I faked being Norwegian or German or Canadian, just to avoid the questions of "Why is your country the way it is?"

And now, today? I'm actually wearing a US flag pin and I am proud of it (and getting a bit teary eyed writing this.)

I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. Like I can go places and have people be happy for me, be glad that our country has smartened up and shrugged off the dark times of the Bush administration, that the rest of the world can now appreciate me as a symbol of a good country and not the backwards, hawkish, indecipherable mystery that America has been of late.

Maybe, just maybe, I can be the good guy again. People can smile and say "You're American? Great!" and not "Oh.... you're American?....(pause)"

Maybe I don't have to be embarrassed to be American anymore. I can be a Texan AND an American and feel a part of the world again, not a sideliner.

This is good. this is a very good feeling.

Woo hoo!!!!!!!!

Yeeehaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

I can now once again say "I'm American" when I am traveling and not have to cringe when I say it.

Yeah!

Don't fuck it up Obama. We've put alot of trust in you and I don't think we can take mere political disappointment.

aaaarrrgghhhh

Today could have been better....so far.

Went to get our new work permits put into our passports this morning. We have to reapply every year. It's pretty much a formality, but they sure like to draw it out. this year we reapplied in June, and just now got the letter saying we've been 'approved' and to come get the stamps.

So we go to the horrible early 70's era office (think, every bureaucratic office you've ever been to) and wait....and wait.....and wait....wait....wait....wait. Our number gets called, she takes our new passport photos that we just took (no glasses, no smile, we both look like slightly startled serial killers in them) and our passports and disappears....for almost an hour.

And we wait.

A seriously smelly man walks in. We didn't notice how funky he was til he removed his jacket and then all hell broke loose, olfactory wise. Everyone sitting next to him moved to another part of the room. His miasma filled the entire waiting area. It was RANK. How could he NOT notice the smell? The people almost running to get away from him? The women covering their noses, sitting in far corners of the room, almost gagging? Wow.

And we wait....holding our breath.

Finally get called back up to the counter to retrieve our passports, only to be told "Oops, I didn't put the right note on your permit, you are here as a specialist and that needs to be noted."

And more waiting. Found out that my permit was ok, that it was just Rich's that needed redoing, so I got the hell out of there and left Rich to his fate.

By now it's noon. All told it was over two hours of waiting at that office. I called my boss and told him, look, day's half gone I'm gonna take a personal day and get some shit taken care of. He was cool with it.

Took care of my stuff, came home, decided to go for a walk to relieve myself of stress after dealing with unwashed masses and to run off some energy before I hunker down in front of CNN, not to move until 2am.

Walk was a bit of a mistake, as that black ice is slippery and I fell twice. Cars can drive on it, but feet will definitely have you sliding around like Bambi on ice. No more walks for me til spring. My knee is banged up but good.

Now I'm home, about to pop some popcorn, switching between CNN and BBC to watch whatever comes in on the election, while simultaneously checking Google News, MSNBC, Zogby, the coverage at the Austin Chronicle and whatever else I can get on my browser. I'm nervous. Everyone who has heard me speak (instantly knowing I am American) has asked me about the election and if I am nervous and what I think. The WHOLE WORLD is nervous and awaiting the results. Americans, this ain't just about you, you know. This is the WHOLE WORLD waiting to see if Americans have smartened up and are ready to change some stuff around. I hope we give them what they need to like us again. Or at least tolerate us.

Has Obama won yet? Go ahead, make my day (better).

(Here's an entertaining article from the Austin American Statesman by John Kelso, resident Austin crank, calling bullshit on this poll that says that 23% of Texans think Obama is a Muslim. Of all the stupid crap.....who took that poll anyhow? did they pull them out from under their trailers?)

quiet weekend nervous week ahead

One of the best things about when it snows in our little part of Norway is how quiet it gets. It's not only the silence of the snow, the way it muffles the sound of cars and tires on the road, sends everybody scurrying inside all warm and toasty by the fire.   I like the snow because it scares away the teenagers. (OK, everybody say it with me like Grandpa Simpson: "GET OFFA MY LAWN!")    The screaming, skateboarding, scooter-with-no-muffler driving, bottle-tossing asshole teenagers. The teenagers who hang out right down under our flat at the plaza below.  The worst are the scooter drivers. I could handle the skate boarders and the nocturnal hollerings (and moanings) and occasional bottle breakage if only the SCOOTER FUCKERS would go away. One of my biggest confusions with Norway is why on earth do they let teenagers under the age of 18 drive these scooters around where they take off the mufflers. It doesn't matter how big or small the engine, remove the muffler and these things get LOUD, you can hear them for miles in any direction. I HATE them. I call the scooter drivers the 'little fuckers' and many of the Norwegians I know do too (maybe not those exact words but very similar.) WHY do the parents let them ride them? Don't they know how rude it is? Don't the kids have any feeling of social angst as they drive around in residential areas at 2am with their 180 decibel mufflers making a noise like a hive of angry bees that you can hear all the way to the next town? It's truly unbelievable that there seem to be no controls on them....it offends me that kids (and by association, the parents) could be that rude and uncaring of the people that live around them.   It makes me happy when the snow comes because I know the scooter fuckers (and skate boarders) have to put their noisy toys away until spring, as they can't drive on the snow and ice. Ah...peace.   In other news....pins and needles as I await the election tomorrow (ok Wednesday, dammit, I'm 7 hours different from Central US.) . I know my little vote won't do much, but if everyone bands together and does what they say they are gonna do, oh I do have a quiet hope for some change. But I'm knockin' wood and throwing salt over my shoulder, don't want to jinx anything. Go Obama! On Wednesday I'm either calling in drunk from happiness...or dead, as I will have killed myself as I just can't face 4 years of Sarah Palin. NO MORE NYEWKYEWLAR!   How I will call in dead, I am not sure, but I'll find a way.

....reason number 583 why she's not qualified.

Palin speaks with Sarkozy.....NOT.

You have to hear it to believe it.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween in Norway is a kid's holiday. Like Easter in the States. They don't really do costume parties for grown ups here (expats do that more than anyone else), and showing excitement (as a grown up) about Halloween is looked at with bemusement, like if a grown up in the States was really excited about an Easter Egg hunt.

So you can imagine the indulgent, yet bemused, smiles I got on the train Wednesday and today when I brought in my Halloween Jack O' Lantern trick or treat bucket full of candy to share with coworkers. Everyone on the train smiled at me, I wonder if they think I belonged on the short bus or something. I wasn't sure what to think, I've never been smiled at that much on a train in Norway EVER. I guess I'd smile at a grown up with an Easter basket. Which is basically what I looked like.

Since Halloween and Thanksgiving are my favorite holidays, and neither of them are noticeably celebrated here (though I did see that there was alot more Halloween stuff out this year than ever before) I always get a little homesick this time of year. I'm missing out on both my favorite days. I used to throw a Halloween party every year in Austin that was pretty well attended. My friends and I sort of co-opted certain holidays (I had Halloween, Bookhart had Derby Day, Kirk had New Year's, etc etc) and we always knew where we would be on that day. It was nice. I miss that.

I won't even go into Thanksgiving. I loved it whether I was with my family or Rich's. It was always great, I could eat and drink myself silly, and I didn't have to buy presents. What's not to like?

Well, anyhow, I've got the candy ready and the picture above stuck on the door for our one trick or treater who comes every year. The kid who lives across the hall gets a good haul from us.

Trick or Treat, y'all! Have a good one!

Birthday pouf

Birthday pouf, originally uploaded by karlakp.

My friend Bassim brought me two 'poufs' from Egypt for my birthday. I have always wanted one. Now I have two! They look great with our stuff. I love them.

A quicky post before I run to catch the train.

• Why must I run to catch the train you ask? Why, I'll tell you. Because my effing bank has changed some stuff on our account and I have to go ask WHY. But the bank is only open (ha, I so wanna be a banker) from 10 to 3:30. Seriously, 5.5 hours a day. So in order for me to track down these fuckers I have to take time off from work. HOW is this customer service, I ask? HOW!? With the bank fees these guys charge, they should be open 24 hours AND give me coffee and donuts every damn day for free. (EDIT: It took me over half an hour to get some attention and service once I got to the bank, mostly because the one woman there who called my number (it's a number queue system) doesn't speak English and made me wait for another person who did. I get her every time. As this bank is in an area that has a large English speaking populace, and is the suggested bank for a large expat company, you'd think they would have a more skilled staff, language wise. I always meet other English speakers there whenever I go. I was about ready to burn the place down. Finally got my questions answered, but have to go back Monday to sign some stuff. MORE hours off work. Grrr......that online bank with the cheaper rates everyone tells me about is sounding better and better.)

• It snowed like crazy last night and, as happens every year, everybody is all, "Huh? Snow? In Norway? What a surprise!" Then they all go out and drive with their 'sommerdekk' tires on the cars when they really should have 'winterdekk' and then they all get in wrecks on the icy snowy roads. and are surprised that this happened. Yes it is a bit early for such a heavy snow, but it's NORWAY and SNOW HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

• But damn the snow is beautiful when it is fresh like that. All fluffy and white and so clean looking. It had a tint of wildness to it this morning as the wind blew and there are still a few golden leaves on the trees that fluttered to the ground and landed on the pristine snow. Strange to hear wind blowing through leaves on trees when it is snowing. I wasn't sure what was wrong until I identified that sound. Usually snow is so perfectly silent, hearing it with rattling leaves was very odd.

• I have a headache.

• We meet with the people who will rip up our apartment today to go over terms and logistics. Oy. This will not help my headache. (EDIT: they were very nice.)

• I was thinking as dressing up as either a pirate or Sarah Palin for Halloween. Sad thing is, if I came to work as a pirate, no one would notice the change. Sigh.

• For that matter, they might not notice either if I dressed as Palin, for I do occasionally wear dressy uppy office clothes for no real reason. If I went fully into character and talked like her all day, though, they'd probably just throw me outside for being annoying.

• I could talk about laying pipe all day and justify it as a business discussion. That would be fun. And you can, almost, see Russia from our window, though first you have to look over Sweden and Finland.

• Hmm, maybe I actually AM more qualified than Sarah Palin, come to think of it. Sure have more world experience. Karla for Vice President! (Yes please, can I have the 150k worth of clothes?)

• I think I busted my brand new popcorn popper. I keep overfilling the thing and it all pops up and overfills the lid/bowl. I have to get better on the measuring. I loves me popcorn popped with real butter.

• Still snowing out there. Brrr.....

• I'll be going here on November 13th. Comme des Garcons, woo! I want the jacket/dress. Unfortunately, so does everyone else.
  

1st

1st, originally uploaded by karlakp.

First winter snow. It's a big 'un!

VOTE!

VOTE!, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Here's my mail in ballot! If I'm doing it so can you!

crisp norwegian fall day

Today was one of those perfect fall days where the air crackles with cool freshness. So crisp it burns your teeth.

I always am amazed at the difference between the air and water here and the air and water in Texas. Here it is crisp, sharp, so clear it can cut you, whether water or air. There is nothing soft about it, it's exhilarating and refreshing. It energizes you, but it is not calming in any way. You can see forever and the colors and shapes are so vivid, so sharp. The water is crisp and peaty, it's slightly green in the white bathtub or against the frozen ice in winter. But green in a clear, filtered way....there is no vagueness to it. It's very easy to drink, and so cold that ice is an affectation.

Texas air is soft, hazy, caressing, relaxing. You can feel it on your skin, all around you, like a weight. It settles on your skin like an invisible cloak. Colors are a little bit muted (except at sunset, when they blaze orange and pink on the clouds). The water tastes of where it comes from. Sometimes in Austin you can taste the algae from the lakes west of town. It's not unpleasant, but it can be a bit strange if you aren't used to it. (Makes me think of that old saying, "I never drink water. Fish fuck in it".) I noticed when I was in Austin a few weeks ago it felt like the air was hugging me. So completely, 180% different from Norwegian air. (Like so many things from Texas and Norway.)

Today, in this brilliant crisp bright fall air, everyone in Norway was out walking. Or, at least, everyone in our part of Norway. The trails in the woods, along the pathways, around the lake, anywhere with trees or nature, were crowded with hearty looking people of every age, families of all colors, walking. Moms, dads, kids, grandparents, Texpatriates, all out. Some with walking sticks and Goretex jackets, some with back packs and hiking boots and water bottles, some, like me, merely with an iPod a pony tail and some sneakers.

Everyone walking. A walk in the woods in Norway is the answer to everything, whether that might be a headache, a thrown out back, a cold or cancer. (Possibly the only thing they don't tell you to walk for is a broken leg, at least at first.) Whenever I've gone to the doctor here, they invariably tell me, after my appointment, that I should go out for a walk in the woods to reset myself. My chiropractor was insistent on it, after every session, that I walk for a half hour after the appointment and walk, also, on the weekends. In the States, they give you antibiotics or a pain pill. Here? A walk.

Judging by this weekend, there will be a lot of healthy people in Norway next week.

I'm not dead. This is a surprise to me.

Ok I have had a really busy week. So busy I didn't have time to check any emails (personal or professional) and am now swamped by emails from Move On.org, various Democrats, the Democrats Abroad, a variety of on-line shoe stores, jewelery making newsletters, LL Bean. Anthropologie, J Crew, Boden and Nordstrom's (how damn much on line shopping am I expected to do?) about 15 forwards from my aunt who forwards everything she gets into her computer back out again (love you, but don't have time to read it auntie!) and so on and so forth. Work emails? Oh god can't even begin to face that, and won't til Monday.

The delete key is my friend.

However, one exciting thing happened this week in my severely neglected personal life. One little beacon of light and hope for a better future landed in my mail box.

I got my mail-in ballot! I'm gonna vote today and mail that sucker in! Woo! I think I'll post a picture of the ballot, for this is a historic event.

That was the only piece of mail I opened all week, come to think of it. Email or snail!

Democrat Broad

Democrat Broad, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Here's my friend Pam in her new Democrats Abroad t shirt. The campaign button is Obama, natch.

booga booga booga

I'm stressed! I'm stressed! I'm stressed! I'm gonna start making crazy booga booga noises soon, like insane people in old movies do.

I have so much on my mind right now that I have heartburn all the time and I can't. get.my.mind.to.turn.off.ever!

Skip the following paragraph. It's bad for your health.

I'm stressed about work and the craziness that will be next week and will I get it all done and not forget anything as I'm supposed to be this great organizer but I feel totally like I am missing something and I am stressed about the work that has to be done on this flat that I am dreading worse than visiting the gyno which is saying alot and I can't stop thinking about all the fucking details that we will have to work out before someone comes in and tears up my HOME and I am stressed because my tits are killing me because I started a new bcp which I actually like because I've lost 5 pounds from it and it's stopped Aunt Flo cold which is awesome but I really don't want my boobs to get any bigger than they already are or I might just fall over and never be able to walk upright again and my damned boobs grow everytime I try to take bcp and this is the third time now in the past 4 years and that is three cups sizes that never go away and I never wanted big boobs ever and I am stressed about winter coming and having to wear socks and tights and boots all the time and I am stressed about having to change over my wardrobe from summer to winter which just makes me worry about the work they are going to do on the flat again and will they RUIN ALL MY CLOTHES but they won't fit my anyhow because of my huge new boobs and what the hell will I wear for 6-8 weeks while we aren't living here and how do you pack for that long and I hate it hate it hate it hate it because Rich is also stressing which makes me stress because he always wants to talk about HIS stress just as I am falling asleep which wakes me up again and why does he DO that it drives me NUTS even though I want to be there for him but why can't he talk to me after work like NORMAL people and so I am also kind of tired because of the stress and the heartburn and the sore boobs and the apartment that farts and the fucking construction workers who are replacing the roof of the building next door who started throwing the old tiles 4 stories to the ground at seven thirty fucking AM this morning and it sounded like sonic booms and so now I hate them and then the elevator was broken this morning from the people who are doing the work on the flats in my building and if they break the elevator their first day of doing this work then what the hell are they going to do to my apartment I mean they can't even not break the elevator and I am supposed to trust these people with all my worldly possessions I don't THINK so and then don't even get me started on the US election because if McCain wins I will barf for days and that's just bad all over and of course the economy is in the toilet though it's not affecting Norway too badly but you never know what will happen and maybe I'll just go and take me and my sore growth oriented boobs and try to have a nap because maybe sleep will make me not stress but I can't sleep and and and.....dammit.

If you made it through that non-sentence than you must really be bored. I do feel a bit better though. Thanks for being there. (Or not. whatever you want.)

News Junkie

Here's a list of the podcasts I download daily.

NPR:
Day to Day
Fresh Air
Story of the Day
Wait Wait Don't Tell Me
Other stuff:
BBC NewsPod
A Prairie Home Companion
KUT Morning NewsPod
NBC Nightly News
ABC World News
Nightline
Russell Brand
Stephen Fry's Podgrams
This American Life
Travel With Rick Steves

I don't really have enough time to listen to them all each day. I have developed a new routine in the morning where I plug my iPod into the little speakers Rich gave me and listen to NBC, ABC and Nightline news in the morning as I get ready for the day. On the train to work I listen to BBC NewsPod. If I have time and the frigging trains are late, I catch one or two NPR Stories of the Day as well.

I save the light stuff for the trip home, so maybe a nice dose of Prairie Home Companion and KUT NewsPod. My absolute favorite is Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, which has made me laugh out loud on the train a few times (sign of insanity). I recently started listening to Stephen Fry's Podgrams, and holy crap are those fun, but he doesn't do them very often so I sort of save them.

It's all added up to make me a total news junkie. ABC and NBC news is always from the night before, but I feel pretty up to date. The NPR gives me a break from the doom and gloom of mainstream US news. It's gotten to the point that when I read the news on the internet, I'm all, "Yeah yeah I know that already gimme somethin' I DON'T know!"

Can anyone recommend me more podcasts in the news/entertainment/wry commentary/comedian vein? None of those one minute ones, I hate those, but something in the 15 minute to one hour range.

I guess my chicken is defrosted now. Time to roast the bird (thank you French Laundry recipe!) It's a chilly wet evening, good for a nice chicken and stuffing, with lit candles and a good book. I've given in and bought the Stephanie Meyer vampire series, which I am on the third one. It's ok, not great, but ok. I have some problems with the main character always being led by men and doing very little for herself. Show some backbone honey. But maybe she gets stronger as it continues.

Harry Potter is still better by a landslide.

Afartment. Flatulent Flat.

Our apartment farts.

For realz.

The heating is provided by hot water that goes under the floor and there is something strange going on with the water pump or something, as every 15 minutes or so our flat goes Frrp FRRp FFFRRRPPP. It sounds exactly like a fart, and, as I told Rich, it is obviously the right place for him to live as it also sounds JUST LIKE HIM, though, luckily, Rich does not fart quite as much or as loud. (I would have sent him to a doctor by now if that were the case.)

The sound comes from the laundry room, I would hazard a guess that the floor heating valves are in there. It's LOUD. Luckily these farts don't stink, or we'd have a BIG problem.

Frrrppp.....Frrp....FRRRPPPPPPPP. There it goes again.

In other news, yes we are soooooo fucked with this bloody work they have to do on our flat and we are in negotiations about it now. The rest of the people in the building are finally realizing what a pain in the ass this is, and are getting up in arms. We are going to do a collective agreement as to what we want for reparations and when the work is to be done. My Norwegian is getting much better just by the hard concentration I am doing with all the legalese. In the US you'd totally have a class action law suit. Here? Just some annoyed people having a collective meeting about what we want to demand in damages. We'll see which works better.

I wonder if their apartments fart?

I am balls to the walls busy at work so will try to post as I can. Next week, don't count on much....will be my busiest week of work ever in this job.

nap excuses

Jet lag is a great excuse to take naps.

You can take a long ass nap (yesterday's was 2 1/2 hours), be late for work, be late to met your friends, and if they comment on your lateness, you just say, tiredly, "Jet lag." And they nod sagely with understanding (all of us expats having been there many times) and you are off the hook.

Of course, this only works for three days, max, before you have to start being on time again. Because, as expats, all your friends also know how long jet lag lasts.

Luckily, now it's the weekend, so I can continue to nap without guilt. If anyone comments, I can just say "Weekend". And they will once again nod sagely and with understanding.

my hair likes Norway but despises Texas

My hair has certainly made its choice as to what country it prefers.

Norway by far.

In Norway my hair is full, glossy and fluffy with curls. Looks like a Pantene commercial.

In Texas? Stringy, frizzy and not so much curly as just unruly.

I think it's the water. I noticed that in both Austin (where the drought has the unfortunate effect of making the water smell like algae) and Houston, I never felt like I got all the shampoo out of my hair, and the Curls Rock that I always use just sort of weighed my hair down. The water in Texas is quite soft I think. And my hair did NOT like it.

Back here in Norway, the harder water cleaned out all the residue and the Curls Rock is effective once more and my hair is happy again.

Now if only I could say the same, as it is hard to come back after spending time with all my family and loved ones in the SUN and WARMTH. I'm always a bit down after a trip home. I get over it, as there is lots here I like, but it takes a bit of adjustment just the same.

So excuse me if I am morose.

However, I did manage to get re-registered to vote while in Texas and just sent off for my ballot today. So at least I got that taken care of.

12 damn near perfect hours

9am
Coffee Fairy leaves me coffee and a Sunday paper outside my hotel room. Glory! Sunday paper! Rich and I miss the Sunday paper ritual most of all. Read paper, drink coffee and laze around.

1030 am
Sunday paper completely pillaged, take shower and get ready for day in leisurely manner.

1130am
Meet BFF (one of 2, yeah, how lucky am I?) Julia at Matt's El Rancho for my 'dish of craving': Bob Armstrong dip (queso mixed with guacamole, pico de gallo and ground beef) and shrimp tostadas. Served with a swirl margarita (strawberry and lime) and a Coke. I am fat and happy (and burpy). Hopefully this will last me for a half a year or so.

1230pm
Julia and I go to Last Call for a bit of shopping. In an unusual role reversal, SHE buys stuff and I don't.

130pm
Head down to Octoberfest at NXNW brew pub in North Austin. Meet Lee, Mags, Bookhart and Pod (among other friends) and get to see my godkids Her Majesty and Wonderboy. Exclaim at how they are growing like weeds. It is expected, after all. Wonder Boy has big feet and his hair was sprayed with orange hairspray that made him look like fire, and Her Majesty is tall and skinny and was sporting some fabulous cowboy Boots (as was I, my kinda kid!).

300pm
Leave NXNW and go to HEB grocery store to get a few essentials that can't be found in Norway. (Febreze, corned beef hash, corned bread mix, Ro-Tel tomatoes and Rich's Aveeno body wash). Get sad and slightly annoyed at ALL THE STUFF I CAN'T BUY THAT I REALLY REALLY WANT. I'd kill for Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. Try not to gnash teeth at price of things....usually at least 1/4th what I pay in Norway.

430pm
Back to hotel to change clothes.

445pm
Arrive at Town Lake to take a walk. Perambulate around the lake (really the Colorado River that runs through the center of town) and enjoy watching the sweaty shirtless men jog by, the people rowing on the river, feeling the breeze and the sun on my face and generally storing up memories of sunshine and warmth for the coming cold months. When I get homesick this is where my mind goes. I love this place. Realize won't have any warmth even close to this until December, when we go to Thailand. Makes me a bit sad. I am a warm weather girl at heart.

600pm
Back at hotel. Freshen up a bit for dinner.

615pm
Go to the bar at the Stephen F Austin Intercontinental Hotel and sit on outside terrace and watch the clouds race by and the sun set in downtown. It's a bit breezy and Austinites are out enjoying the cooler weather and the appearance of clouds, which they have not seen in a while. Read fluffy magazine, drink reisling and build up appetite for dinner. Just me and my thoughts.

700pm
Go to Roaring Fork restaurant and eat dinner. Decide to eat two appetizers, so have a wonderful 'white corn' tempura shrimp (5 fancy fat fried shrimp) and tuna tartar with guacamole. Washed down with another glass of reisling. Find that two appetizers are quite filling. Those shrimp rocked. Tuna needed....something.

830pm
Back at hotel in jammies. Finish packing in preparation for going to Houston tomorrow for last night in Texas. Make blog post. Watch Desperate Housewives, I am SO out of the loop on it.

1030pm
Watch Austin news for last time and lights out. Comfy bed holds me in its soft luxe embrace. Dream time.

Today in pictures (with a bit of last night, which was actually today, as it was after midnight because we PARTIED!)

Post Davestin, the party continued.

Jaye gettin' down with a bad ass burger at the Jackelope last night. I would have given her my virginity for a bite of that burger, except that ship sailed long ago. And the fact that I don't do girls. Neither does she. Which sort of ruined my virginity offer.

Dave stunned at Mag's assets. Um, brains, I meant brains.

Karla May hiding under my hair. Either that or I grew another tiny head. Please note my new glasses. And my new head.

I just HAD to do it. The place was filled with velvet paintings of pneumatic pulchritude. It begged for tweaking.

After way too little sleep, a nap and a facial and brow wax today, these boots came into my life. The picture doesn't really capture the gorgeous pointy box toe, "roach killer" style. The toes and heels are lizard.

One of my favorite bars EVER. I've got the logo t shirt and panties to prove it.

Mean Eyed Cat interior. It's dedicated to Johnny Cash.

Back to the hotel room. Drunk me wondered why the asswipe was tied with a pretty ribbon. Is it a gift?

I woke up to this gorgeous sight in the other bed in my room. Apparently Karla May got so attached to my hair she came home with it. Also, apparently, we both snore.

The debate, the hotel, the Dave

One of the main reasons I have ever envied rich people is because I envision them having a minion who brings them their morning coffee every day. I've always wanted that, to have my coffee brought to me, without my asking, just when I want it. This would be my main reason for wanting to be rich. (OK that and the private plane. But that is really it.)

This hotel brings me my morning coffee every day between 8:30 and 8:45. Just delivers it right to my door. They leave it outside and knock and go away.

I freaking LOVE that. It's like being rich, like I've hired a Coffee Fairy. Everyone should have a Coffee Fairy.

So now I am drinking my coffee and watching the Ellen Show. I heart Ellen. I love the way she dances.

I watched the debate with Dave last night. I just like that dude. How can I not? If you ever meet him, buy him a Jaegermeister right off the bat. Trust me on this one.

Anyhow, the debate. My main point I want to make here is this:

If you want FOUR MORE YEARS of yet another yutz saying NOOKYEWLAR instead of NEWKLEEAR, then for sure vote for McCain/ Palin. I swear to God, if she said nuclear wrong one more time I was going to explode. I rather like how Biden very clearly pronounced it correctly after every time she said it wrong. Like, nyah nyah, I can say it right!

So, STRIKE A BLOW FOR PROPER GRAMMAR! Vote Obama Biden!

Tonight? DAVESTIN! Bloggers untie! Buy Dave his Jaegermeisters and let the party begin!!

heaven

Heaven is a newly redone hotel room with incredibly lush beds, lying there watching your flat screen tv, remote in hand, and catching up with the news of your hometown. In the background is the soothing sound of the air conditioner unit lulling you ever so gently closer to sleep.

The free wifi doesn't suck either.

They are going to bring me my morning coffee in 15 minutes.....

Do I have to go home?

So many thoughts

I'm in Austin.

Home.

It just is home.

The drive to Austin was so much fun. The Prius is good on the road, it goes 80 and you don't notice how fast you are going. It's a bit slow to get started, but once it's going it's a swift little car. I used three gallons of gas to get to Austin. I filled up the tank which was almost empty, before I left Houston, and it took 8 gallons. And I did ALOT of driving in Houston. Pretty safe to say this car is saving me alot of money in gas. So going to Austin I just drove along and listened to Led Zep cranked(got the 'best of' cd) and reveled in being in Texas, on the road, in the country. I sort of got teary eyed when I saw some guys working on a fence, wearing cowboy hats and boots and just looking so Texas. Teary eyed from happy. Like, Ah Yes, I Am Home. I know this. I AM this.

Oddly comforting to know that I can come back and know that it is home, know that I belong, and know that it is a real and true part of me, this state and this place. It's not a figment, it's not me assigning some unwarranted value to a place that is all in my head. No. Texas is me, I am a Texan and it is where I have my roots, no matter how far they stretch when I am away.

Of course, being here, I am doing so much shopping that I am probably going to bring half of Texas home with me. I just keep finding awesome deals everywhere, totally scored at Last Call again today, the most gorgeous silk skirt, it's a showstopper, flowy silk charmeuse with a colorful butterfly print on cream, ankle length..Plus got some new glasses yesterday, just picked out frames at Lenscrafters (which I never had luck with) and had my current prescription copied, and it worked a treat. Voila! New glasses. Dolce and Gabban cat eyed frames, black. Not as strong as the Kirk Originals, but strong enough.

Stayed last night with my bud Julia and her partner Heather and my godson Griffin. Griffin is talking! Holy crap! When did that happen!? He's a cutey.

The hotel I am staying at is nice. I Pricelined it (I did that last time I came to Austin as well) and got a great deal. Priceline totally works if you research your options ahead of time. Works especially well in Austin, downtown doesn't have too many hotels and so you can make a good assumption that where you stay is going to be ok. Free wi-fi here if you join their points club.

Meeting Bookhart tonight, after first meeting with Po and his wife Mil. Can't wait to see everyone!