random strangeness in photo form

At Angkor in Cambodia there were alot of statues where the heads and/or bodies had been cut away by treasure hunters, leaving only the feet. Where others see tragedy, I see an opportunity for a goofy photo. I also wanted to compare my foot size to an ancient warrior's. Yes, my feet were dirty. It was hotter than Hades, dusty, and I only brought sandals. I would take two or three showers a day to cool off and clean off the dust of the day's explorations.

This was a campaign poster for a guy running for political office in Bangkok. The city was PLASTERED with them, all different faces, but very distinct "types". Millions of them. It was an endless source of amusement and photo fun. I title this one "Vote for me or I'll kill you". I kind of understand that whole coup thing better after having seen what they get for government leaders.

This was a little girl and her critter (ferret? I dunno, I'm not good at critter's names) I met in Cambodia at Ta Prohm temple, Angkor. I met alot of really interesting people wandering around the temples and ruins, and they were all so friendly and willing to share experiences. Some wanted money for it and some just wanted to talk to foreigners. It was fairly easy to figure out which was which on first sight. This girl was of the second sort, but no one was averse to a little money as a thank you.

The kids in Cambodia were so playful. These guys had a great time measuring their height as compared to Rich's. When we walked into this temple, a very small one, they all RUSHED at him en masse. They had never seen a man so tall in their lives, and HAD to see who among them was tallest on the Rich Scale.
This temple was known by all the tour guides in the area as The Dollar Temple. It was the only one that the sellers of souvenirs were allowed into. They'd all run up to you screaming, "One dollar! One dollar!", and wave their items in your face. The sellers were VERY insistent and could be a nuisance, and so were not allowed into most of the sites. It's understandable as you would not be able to see anything with all the people hanging off your arms all the time. They swarmed us everywhere else outside the sites, so it was nice to have a respite in the temples.

The one little girl doing the measuring was selling packets of 10 postcards and insisted on counting them out to me in every language she could count in, which was about 7. Good little counter. So I bought her cards, cuz, hell, her counting in Russian was pretty impressive. She only knew the numbers in the many languages, but she did have some English beyond. The Cambodians are MASTER sellers and will not leave you alone until you buy something or run away. I did a little of both. There's only so many dodgy packets of postcards one can own.

This little memory of the kids playing around Rich's knees is one of my favorite ones from the whole trip. It's always the faces you see and the people you meet who stick in the memory.

and here we go again

More pictures. I'm not yet sure of what, so lemme dig thru and find some stuff....ah, yes, to continue with the previous food theme, I offer you:


Ronald McDonald on Khao San Road, Bangkok. Sorry, but he is just freaking scary whether Buddhist or not. Urg.


A restaurant we did NOT go to in Chiang Mai. Though I rather like the German-Mexican aspect of it, because that would totally fit in with the part of Texas I am from. We have a large German contingent in the Hill Country. And everyone likes Mexican food, right?


Well, here we go from the cheesy to the sublime. This was the appetizer I had at Le Normandie at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Bangkok. It is a seared tuna something or other with a reduction of this and a wasabi infused glace of that. I had no idea, I just ate it. It was phenomenal. That restaurant was so posh. They even gave me a little stool to put my purse (my over the shoulder embroidered $3 bag I got in Laos!) on so it would not have to rest on the floor! There I was, a glamourous tourist; sweaty, red faced, disheveled hair and disgusting from having toured the Wat Pho in 100 degrees of heat and humidity that morning, now sitting at the poshest damn restaurant in Bangkok. Nice.
The guy seated at the table next to us looked exactly what I would think a Chinese Emperor would look like. He ordered a thousand dollar bottle of wine to have WITH HIS LUNCH. Seriously. It was amazing. I was considering offering him 5 bucks just so I could have a sniff of that wine, because I know it would have smelled heavenly. But he also looked like the sort of guy who could have had me killed just by a slight hand motion which would have called over a bodyguard who would have then snapped my neck like a little twig. So I refrained.

This was the main course I had. It's also, like, the second time in my life I have had veal, because veal gives me the willies. But nothing else on the very small exclusive menu was anything I really wanted (other options including pigeon, sea urchin, etc.), so I got veal because at least I knew it was beef. Even if baby beef.

It was good. That baby cow died a noble death. (Yes I KNOW how they are kept which is why I don't eat veal, but well, it was already dead, wasn't it?) The little ice cream cone looking thingy in the upper left corner was a bit of cous cous in a radish. Very cute.

Today is the sort of day that reminds me why Norway can be so nice. Crystal clear skies, today it will be 75 or so. The breeze coming in the windows gently blows the freshly washed white curtains aloft. The air smells crisp and like the mountains. I have iTunes Radio on, broadcasting some trancey-dancey music that lifts my spirits in time with the floaty curtains.

I never understand why Norwegians leave this gorgeous weather in summer. I'm glad I got out in winter and early spring. Now I can enjoy the summer and have the whole country to myself. I am now going to go find my walkin' shoes and go for a hike.

Food. Pink Drinks. Big Beer. Life is good.

I've gotten a request for pictures of food we ate while on our recent trip to SE Asia. I did take a few pictures, so here we go. Being me, and hello, EVIL, of course I also took pictures of drinks as well.

We had an amazing meal at Le Normandie at the Mandarin Oriental in Bangkok. (Pictures of that in the next post.) First, of course were the drinks. I've always followed the "when in Rome' theory of drink, so when in Thailand drink...Mai Thais! Mm.....Yummy Mai Thais. I had them in many posh places......

Here's the Mai Thai I had at the Four Seasons in Chiang Mai. Nothing so refreshing after a long ride on an elephant as a fruity rum drink!

Not being a snob, and once again practicing 'when in Rome', in Luang Prabang I drank Beer Lao. Beer Lao comes in big bottles. Beer Lao cost a buck. I drank alot of Beer Lao.

This was an appetizer we got at the River Ping Palace in Chiang Mai. We just told Esther, the owner, to set us up with whatever she wanted. This was part of the amazing meal that followed. There were fried mushrooms (interesting ones, not just white ones), chicken with lemongrass, calamari, prawns and some other stuff. It came with really spicy, not so spicy and sweet sauces. We ate it so fast I didn't really get a chance to keep track of it all.

Ok, so I kind of suck. The meal that came after the appetizer was so awe inspiring that I never got a chance to take a 'before" picture. There was a whole fried fish, Tom Yum soup, a curry, a prawn dish, fried rice and a whole bunch of other stuff. It was all so good and amazing, even had I had the forethought (and could get my jaw off the table) to take the picture, I don't think the others at the table would have had the patience to wait for me to take it!

There were many memorable meals that I did not get pictures of as well. One that sticks in my mind was the Thai style bbq we had in Mae Hong Son. I blogged about that one already, so won't bore you with it again, but for $8. including drinks, it just can't be beat as one of the best cheap meals I have ever had.

more angkor pictures

As promised, more pictures. But fucking blogger doesn't seem to want to publish this, and I have been trying for, like, 9 hours now, so you may actually never see this. Which sucks. Cuz it's kind of cool, sorta.

An altar in Ta Prohm. I took alot of pictures of these. So amazing, the way the light streamed in through the ruined walls. Light banishing dark. The bright color against the grey stone. The smell of incense and aged rocks, (and in some cases, pee). It was overwhelming in every sense.

Silk cotton trees growing through the ruins of a temple. To me they looked like white ghost skeleton hands digging into the buildings. They were very pale against the rock. Destructive beauty.

My little Cambodian pal. This little girl followed me all through a temple, peeping over walls and through windows, giggling and hiding. I finally 'caught' her by taking her picture and then showing her the picture of herself in my digital camera screen. (This, by the way, is an EXCELLENT way of communicating with folks in other countries where you don't share a language. Ask to take their picture, then show it to them after you take it. Guaranteed smiles. Digital cameras rule. ) Once she saw herself, she wanted to be my model and pose for me. As you can see, she was a natural.

Another shot of the monkey. It's climbing up to the Buddha. I like the balance of man, statue and critter.

Here's the larger shot of the temple, with the Buddha face in the temple tower. This is the Bayon again. Every tower had faces in it. So cool.

We had a fairly restful weekend back here in Norway. Still fighting the jet lag a little, just shows itself in us waking up too early. I went for some brisk walks, I really love it and it ups my mood tremendously. Especially with the iPod in tow. The weather is cool and crisp, the low to mid 50's, which is such a change after SE Asia. Refreshing.......

It's interesting how safe I feel in Norway. Thailand, well Bangkok especially, feels like one of those places where if something bad happened to you, you would just disappear. So busy, so chaotic, so foreign, that you could just get swallowed up in it. No one would know who I was or speak my language, I would just be lost and swept away. It was a bit scary at times and I have actually had a few wierd dreams about it. Back here in small safe antiseptic Norway, I know I won't get run over or die of some strange tropical disease. And I can read the language so I can understand what's going on.

Some of this feeling comes from this book I read called "Forget You Had a Daughter" by Sandra Gregory. She is this British woman who stupidly agreed to carry some heroin out of Thailand, got caught and spent 11 years of a 25 year sentence in Thai and British prisons. Her story is harrowing, unsettling and at times actually painful to read. I read it on the plane back from Bangkok and oy vey, it's stuck in my head.

The shock of returning home.....

I'm back in Norway.

When I said that Norway and Thailand are diametric opposites, I do not lie. It's WIERD being back here.

But also kind of nice.

It's cool and clean and quiet. Our bed is big and soft. (Asian beds are very VERY firm and so are the pillows. No squashy down there. Oy my neck!) The water is yummylicious. The people are all tall and so very fashionable. Of course, no one talks to me here. In Thailand if they weren't talking to me they were staring at me. It's kind of nice to just be one of the masses again. I'm wearing boots and jeans again instead of sandals and skirts. I prefer sandals. Luckily, the snow is melting very quickly and is almost gone, which is a very nice surprise. I can start my walks again! Yeay! I love walking and hiking in Norway.

On the other hand, I just spent the equivalent of a Cambodian's statistical yearly income on groceries today. And I had to go to THREE different stores to find frozen chicken breasts. Seriously, what the fuck is up with that? In Thailand there are chickens running around everywhere under your feet, and here I can't find frozen chicken? (Fresh is easily available, but I like frozen so I can just pull it out of the freezer as needed.)

I called my boss about my job and it looks like the new contract with the company we were working for is being negotiated. It ended March 31 with possibility for renewal depending on the next phase of work needed. This means as of now i am out of a job but he told me to sit tight for a month or so until it gets worked out and they determine the new work load and processes. I am, apparently, his trump card employee, cuz, hey, let's face it, I am smart AND charming and a good planner. (The fortune teller at Wat Po told me so, so it's got to be true, right? Even though he also told me I need to learn when to shut up. Like, um, now maybe?)

I have tons of very beautiful Hill Tribe silver and beads I got in Chiang Mai to work with so I hope to be on a creative jewelry frenzy in the next month or two. AND I am going to pick back up at the gym. Me in my swim suit was a sad sad sight. And i need to get rid of some flab. More on that later. (Though why is it that everyone I've ever talked to got some sort of nasty tummy bug and lost tons of weight when they went to Asia, and I get the opposite? Like, I was actually forced to use Correctol once? And I've gained weight? What is wrong with me? Why do I have this iron stomach?) And no I am not posting picks of me in my swimsuit, at least, not full body shots. So just forget it.

I've also been catching up on my favorite blogs again. I am sadly behind. I probably could have gone my whole life not seeing this particular post on Badger's site, and am actually considering either a lawsuit, for the mental anguish she has caused me, or going back to Thailand and getting restung by the jellyfish so that I can get the picture burned out of my mind. Why Badger, why do you do this to me? Sure you win the battle, but why do I have to lose my mental stability by seeing this?

Anyhow, I am determined to redress this pictorial imbalance by posting pictures from my trip. Starting now. Must share beauty to balance the evil that dwells.

songkran

Today is Songkran, or Thai New Year. The celebration consists of ropes of flowers draped on everyone and then a ceremonial, yet very wet, dumping of water upon everyone you see. It celebrates the end of the dry season and the upcoming wet. Everyone is every charming and friendly, but it is a bit hard to keep dry...and you sort of need to keep dry when you are catching a flight in a couple hours. WE go back to Bangkok this evening. Wet people on planes.,....brrrr.....not nice.

Songkran has other little tradItions, too. They pat powder on your face and arms, as if just getting doused was not enough. Some people use dye in the water, but that is frowned upon as being too extreme in most quarters. I was the inadvertent participant in a wet t shirt contest when I got DUMPED on with BUCKETS of water and was wearing a white tank top. You know one of those with the double layer for "light support"? Yeah, two layers of thin white t shirt material, add 6 gallons of water and hello nipples! All of Railay beach has seen my goodies now. The farangs take the water dousing farther than the Thai. The Thai will leave you alone if you ask, but the tourists and party people here are in it for the mess and they won't let you pass. White folks always take it too far. We've now learned hold up the bag above your head and tell people not to splash it by pointing and saying "camera", but you are gonna get doused no matter what.

So I am sticking close to the hotel pool for now until we leave. I can't bring back a suitcase full of wet clothes. Yeuch.

In other news, ever been stung by a jelly fish? Well, me neither until this morning when i went to the beach for a last swim.

It fucking KILLS.

IT got me right around the base of the neck and oh my god, it's like stinging nettles and burning blisters and bad bad sunburn all in one. And there is no red mark to show my agony, just extreme pain. Luckily it seems i am not allergic as my throat has not closed up and I am not dead. Thank you for small miracles.

Yesterday was SO COOL. I just can't stop thinking about it. Rich and I today noticed a night dive where you can go at 2pm and come back at 8:30, and you can see the phosphorescent plankton they have here, that apparently sticks to you and makes you glow like the stars. How cool is that? Well, we've definitely decided to come back. This place is too wonderful and somehow comfortable to not come back to.

Tonight we go back to Bangkok, then Saturday off to Cambodia and Angkor Wat. I can't believe this trip is almost over.

PHi Phi Island and little fishies

WE took a boat out today to some of the surrounding islands. Fitting that Phi Phi Island is in the vicinity of the penis cave. Though the penis caves real name is princess cave. )sorry for typos someone mucked up this keyboard and I have no aopostrophes..or parentheses, it now seems...

Anyhow we snorkeled, we floated, we ated, we sunned, we basked and then we burned. We are some white white people with some red red skin. I always think that if I sunburn my fat parts they will crisp up and shrink like bacon, you know_ So far that has not yet happened, but I think I am on to something there. Literally burn away your fat. How great. I think it could happen, and I never lose hope. My butt also acts as a flotation device. If I ever drowned, youd find my ass first. I cant float on my back for long. I tump over and my butt goes straight up for the sun. My own personal floatie..... I digress.....But oh my was the snorkeling wonderful. However, and i sorta knew this, I am a nature girl as long as the nature does not actually TOUCH me, so I freaked a bit when the fish swarmed me looking for food. Ever been crawled on by a fish_ Wiggy.....totally wiggy. Where the hell is the exclamation point dammit_

WE also saw the island where that Leo Dicaprio movie the Beach was filmed... it was not the nicest of all the beaches and it was swarmed with tourists. Go see other beaches, less crowded ones.

I met someone from Texas who teaches in Burma )myanmar) and is from Longview and thinks she knows Karla Mays mom. Small world or what_

Anyhow today was another good day. With so many great days and moments that I tell myself I absolutely MUST not forget, how am I going to remember them all_ The girl next to me just asked me what day it was...I think its wednesday. ....its that sure sign of a holiday when you donät know the day.

This computer is making me look like an idiot. Ill post this but sorry for the crappy post.

some pics while I can

Close up of piled up penises. Seriously, how often can you use a phrase like 'piled up penises'?


Beautiful beach. And the water was not too hot nor too cold. Aaaahhh.....


Oh yeah. Penis a plenty.


Me and the long necked Karen women. The one in red was a real flirt...she totally flirted with me and Rich. Funny girl. That's her mom on my other side. Yes I do look huge compared to them..

bbq, long necks and penis beach

Another day another badly typed missive. Yes I know my tyuping sucks but don't have time to proofread at these prices!

And now that I have the word penis writ large on the blog, I guess it's time for the google masses to come out to play, eh?

OK where did I leave off.

Chiang Mai. Me likey.

From Chiang Mai we caught a puddle jumper plane to Mae Hong Son. Very small town near the Burmeses border. You can drive there over the mountains from Chiang Mai in about 8 hours, but it's one of those drives where they give you barf bags at the beginning and a certificate when you reach the end, as it is 8 hours and 1300 curves, twists and turns. Guaranteed barf-o-rama, apparently. We chose the less barfy route.

Half hour flight later got to Mae Hong Son and found a tour to take us up to the Karen Hilltribe village, home of the long necked women. They are refugees from Burma (sorry, Myanmar.) They are all very beautiful and gracious ladies, very patient for photos, and obviously also wanting to sell stuff to us in exchange for the photo ops. Those neck rings are HEAVY. I tried them on.....

To get to the village we took a fast boat on the river Pai. Just a guy, a wood boat and an outboard motor, pushing that boat up the rapids. Exhilarating. The water was low but he was a great driver.

Then we went to a cave with fish. Sounds cheesy it was beautiful. Large blue carp in these holes in the rock, leading into streams and ponds, flashing blue everywhere. Lovely gardens as well.

Colleen was uncomfortable, she has a pinched nerve and it is making walking difficult, so we went backt o the hotle so she could rest and Rich and I could cool off with a swim. Then Rich and I went into town where we had The Best Meal Ever. Mae Hong Son has a little restaurant called the Lake Side Inn. It was full of locals doing Thai Table top barbecues. It was 65 baht each for all we could eat. We were a little nervous as we weret he only farangs there and we had no idea what to do, but hey, we're in it for the cultural experience, so we dove on ine to the nightlife.


So for Thai BBQ, You take little bits of marinated meat (beef chicken pork) and you cook them on this curved surface under which are very hot coals.. The curved surface goes down into a lip, like a little reservoir, and into this reservoir the waitress, helping us clueless farangs, put water and some herbs. The fat from the meat and the herbs steam in the water to make the most delicious broth. So we grilled and had broth and rice and hot hot sauces and stuffed ourselves silly. Oh my God it was good. Grand total for that including two very large Chang beers and two bottles of water, and enough food to feed one very large man and one increasingly larger woman? 8 USD. Gottal ove Thailand.

Yesterday was a bit crappy, we flew all day on three flights Ryan Air style, which meant we could not check our luggage thru but had to collect at each place and re check. SUCKED! And Colleen was not comfortable, and you don't realize how big airports are until you have to walk them with someone who is not at her best. I was very worried. She'll be ok, it's just a big holiday here and her doctor is not available...so she has to soldier thru until after the holiday.

Anyhow, finally got to Krabi, a car picked us up and took us to the boat that took us to the island we are on, Railay. Well, not an island, a peninsula..... Is it any surprise I fell out of the boat and into the water upon arrival? No I thought not. Talk about making a splash.

Today was just lazy beach day. Gorgeous. You have seen this beach before, I know. It's world famous. If not from pictures of its beauty, then from tsunami footage.....it all happened right here, folks. There's still bits of roof tile and stuff all over.

The water is brilliant blue, the cliffs and rocks are stunningly huge, and the sand is white and soft.

And the penis cave is right by the beach. I thought it would be a trek, but it's not. I guess it got hurt in the wave, as the penises (penii?) are not stuck in the sand as I had read, but piled up in a corner. I guess they got knocked over. Still it's a crazy place. Penises everywhere......right at the mouth of the cave. Rich was all about the genital symbolism of it all. He was discoursing intellectually and I was all, "huh huh...dicks. Cool. huh huh." I got some good, ahem, big head pics. And lots of other pics as well.

All for now.

Chaing Mai

Greetings from Chiang Mai. so sorry I have not posted as of late, but it has been balls to the wall busy for us and i literally have either not had time to get online, or have been too tired. And me, being a cranky old bitch, I needs my beauty sleep.

Rich got to Bangkok on Tuesday, a few hours before Colleen and i got back from luang Prabang. WE all met back op at Colleen's flat. Colleen is a holiday SLave Driver, so it's been up at 7 and to bed late every night. I feel like Billy Crystal in that stupid cowboy movie he did where he is on the runaway horse screaming "I'm on VACATION!!!"

Colleen has had fun taking us on sightseeing tours in the morning and then to very posh places for lunch. Since most of our sightseeing involves massive amounts of sweat or smelly things, you can imagine how attractive we feel showing up at the Oriental Hotel, Bangkok, one of the best French Restaurants in the world, covered in sweat and goo and looking like we've been thru a smell tornado. Or, as happened here in Chaing Mai, we went elephant trekking and I got in a tussle with a frisky baby elephant, who wanted my water bottle, drank most of my water, then snorted it back out all over me with the added ingredients of mud, goo and baby elepant snot. Directly after that we went to the Four Seasons for lunch, me covered in elephant snot, Rich dripping with sweat, and Colleen looking cool as a cucumber in her floaty summer dress. It's hard being a tourist.

Chiang Mai is great. I Really like it. We are staying at this funky little hotel on the River Ping called the River Ping Palace. It is a 130 year old teak house with about 12 rooms. It's funky as hell. The owner is a friend of Colleen's. The traditional Thai house is kind of a shack, basically, but a very stylish one. Staying at the River Ping Palace is like bing in the most stylish shack you've ever been in, with bathrooms that have a personality of their own (you never quite know WHERE the water for the shower will come from), windows with no glass but screens and shutters, and the sound of geckos calling in the night. The upstairs rooms have very high cielings (you are under the eaves of the roof and you can see the roof tiles and the wood slats) and the beds are very tall four posters with mosquito netting. I highly recomend it. Also teak houses such as this are very rare and to stay in one is a true treat. They are all being knocked down. And Esther (the owner) is one HELLUVA cook and we had some Thai food she made us that was incredible. WE didn't even order off the menu, just ate whatever she brought us, and it was GREAT. If you ever come to Chaing Mai, let me know and I'll give you contact info the for the hotel.

Yesterday we went to Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep. It's this huge temple on top of the mountain. Legend has it a white elephant died there after carrying relics of the buddha. The elephant is buried there. It's one of the favorites I've been to here. And, in a thrilling moment for me, I got blessed by a monk. It was SO cool. i was watching the people getting blessed and enjoying the simple ceremony of ti, and the monk saw me and waved me over. I was already on my knees (your head should never be higher than a monks', or Buddha's) so I sorta knee walked over and copied the other folks, hand in prayer position, head down. He splashed me but good with water and chanted. I think he enjoyed getting the farang extra wet, though I am being teased it's beacuse i am evil and i needed extra water. AFter the dousing, a guy tied a white string around my wrist and said that i would now have good fortune and good luck. I tell you, I was kind of verklempt afterwards. Not being a religious person, that little ceremony moved me. Anyhow, I wear the string til it breaks, they tell me. That's cool to me. I like having the reminder of a very special moment. So far Buddhism is the religion I would consider follwing. Any religion where you can go to the temple, do your praying, have a chat with a monk and then get a massage on the premises (as at Wat Pho in BAngkok) is alright by me.

Oh so much to tell. I also got my fortune told by a fortune teller. As i suspected, I am very lucky and protected by Buddha. I will live a long life and die a natural death, though at around age 76 I will have an accident, but not, as he said " a bye bye accident". I am a good communicator, good personality and clever, but must think before I talk. can get emotional and should watch the money. I should also exercise, meditate and take care of my lungs. My lucky color is red, blue not so good and the number 6 is bad. Friday is not my lucky day either. I thought the fortune telling was very interesting and very close to horoscope reading I have had as well.....

Today we are catching a quick flight to Mae Hon Son for one night to see the tribes people where the women have the long necks. You know , where they put the brass rings around until their necks are like a foot long? Then tomorrow we go from Mae Hon Son back to Chiang Mai,then back to Bangkok and thence to Krabi beach, where i can collapse for a few days. I have decided that my own personal nirvana is laying on the beach, drinking a mai tai, having a massage and reading, all at once. If someone would feed me prawn crackers and retouch my sun screen every so often, that would just about cap it off perfectly. I migt like a few extrea minions for a variety of beking and calling, but really, one cannot ask too much, now, can one? Oh, and at Krabi we get to go see the Cave of the Penises....yes, I will keep you informed.

photos to be posted later, as internet and computers allow....

These are probably the only pictures you are gonna get because it takes freaking FOREVER to download things onto blogger from this fairly slow ADSL service I am using.....It's been about 10 minutes to get these few pics up. I'll maybe do onesies and twosies from here on outsies...




Elephant butts. I took a tour to Ayutthaya today and we stopped at a roadside rest stop/elephant riding attraction. Not unlike a petting zoo in the US, one would assume.


At a wat (temple) in Ayutthaya. I love the way the tree roots look here.
Ayutthaya was the capital from the 15th to the 18th centuries, when the Burmese came and torched it. The capital was then moved to present day Bangkok. There are beautiful ruins left at Ayutthaya.



Bugs...they're not just for breakfast anymore....This was on Khao San Road, legendary backpacker's strip. It was interesting. I had my first (sigh) mangoes and sticky rice there. Love at first bite. I did not eat a bug. Ick.



Me and baby elephump. I then paid it 20 baht which it toook in its trunk. First time I ever touched an elephant. I felt a little sorry for it, I hate seeing animals in chains. At night in Bangkok you can see elephants walking down the road.s Very strange going into a 7-11 and when you come out you almost (literally) run smack into an elephant.


A beautiful garden palace and museum in Bangkok. An oasis of quiet amongst the smell and chaos. Suan Pakkad, means Cabbage Patch.....

After the tour to Ayutthaya, we then took a boat up the Chao Praya back to Bangkok. Four hours of quiet (relatively) solitude. It was a hazy day so pics did not turn out as nice as I would have liked. I'll post some another time. Right now I am tired and need rest. Tomorrow we go to Luang Prabang Laos. I hope you are all using your atlases....Lord knows I had (have) to.

cheap thrills and tiny women

Costs here vs costs in Norway are basically baht for kroner. The difference being, the kroner goes for 6.5 to the dollar, the baht 39 to the dollar.

A coke costs 20 baht. 20 kroner in Norway.

Lunch yesterday in the posh food court at the mall cost 45 baht ($1). Lunch in Sandvika in the mall, at the Ritz Cafe, 110 nok ($16) for the Thai Nudler (which I now laugh at, and heartily, Thai my ASS!)

Cab ride from the airport across town to Colleen's flat: 200 baht ($5.)
Cab ride from airport in Oslo to our flat: 700 nok. ($107)

Shoes: 99-200 baht
Noprway shoes: 300-2000 nok

Etc etc. Let's face it, it's CHEAP here. I got two dresses for $15 at a market yesterday. And, as the man selling them pointed out a little too vividly, they were the "extra large for westerners" sizes. he used all sorts of tall and wide hand signals to illustrate this. It's funny. People here are very blunt and very honest, but very kind. Yes, I am WAY bigger than 85% of the folks here, and I am kind of strange with this wild curly hair and the light eyes, and then I am tall, and boy they are gonna look at me and tell me about it! But it's all done in kindness. This is the first place I've ever been where i totally felt like a foreigner. I feel kind of exotic and strange.

The best, the absolute BEST part of it, though, is the 2 hour Thai massage I got tonight, for....250 baht. We went to this place where they teach Thai massage. Once in, a small gaggle of ladies walked in and each one of them picked one of us. The tiniest woman of them all made a beeline straight for me, the biggest of us all. (There were three of us in our group.) She laughed and took my hand, and led me over to the foot washing section, where she scrubbed my poor, mangled, horribly blistered feet. My left foot looks like a leper's worst nightmare. AFter the foot massage we got on the elevator up to the massage rooms, where apparently there was this one woman in charge of doing nothing but commenting on our bodies in Thai. I got the approval sign by way of the universal hand signals for "curvy" and then a thumbs up and lots of wiggling eyebrows. I got lucky. She grabbed another woman's boobs! It was a bit strange, but whatever, I guess our farang bodies are interesting to them as cultural experiments.

Anyhow, thence to the massage area, where my tiny lady gave me a t shirt and pajama bottoms to change into. Thai Large and American Large are two different things, so she had to go back to the "fat ass" closet to get me another pair of pants that were sufficiently baggy. Sartorial embarrassments aside, we then got busy.

For the next two hours this tiny woman bent me, beat me, smacked me, stepped on me, pounded me, folded me, rubbed me, origami'ed me, picked me up, threw me down, and made me her bitch. I've never quite been treated that way except in certain, ahem, other situations which shall not be recounted here. And certainly I've never been that intimate with another woman.

I loved every second of it. I feel like jello. It was the best $6 I ever spent.

I'm going back as soon as possible. I want to be her bitch some more......

markets and expats

It's Monday morning here. I just got out of the shower. I was told how to turn on the hot water, but honestly have not had a need for it. Cold is just fine. Just fiiine.

Yesterday Colleen and i got up fairly early and headed to Chatuchuk market. You know when you hear about shopping in Bangkok? And how great it is? Really? People aren't expressing it strongly enough. Let me put it this way:

Chatuchuk market wore me out. I was the one who said 'I've had enough, let's go now". Those of you who have ever shopped with me will be gasping right now. This could very well be a sign of the coming apocalypse. Or I have finally gotten old. Really old. Seriously.

That market is HUGE. I mean, I've been to the souks on Marakech, and the markets in Egypt, and I've been to some damned big malls in the US and I've shopped on Bond, Regent AND New Bond Streets in London, and this market is the king of them all. If you can't buy it there, forget it, it does not exist.

And, for you people who like beads and jewelry stuff...it ws nirvana. I was stunned, overwhelmed and confused. I was almost mad at myself, in a way, because there it all was, everything i could ever want or need in the bead and silver way and I kind of just froze. I had once asked Colleen to "pick me up some beads" and now I see why she just laughed when I asked her that. The selections of stones and pearls and silver and findings and what all, amazing. Too much. The stall holders used bags of pearls as chairs and foot rests. And the prices? Well, let's just say my luggage is no longer in the light category. I didn't buy as much as I thought I would (overwhelmed, 'member?) but then I do have three and a half more weeks......

AFter about 4 hours of the market (where i got a bit scarily overheated and crabby, I forget I get crabby when I am hungry) we left to go to Jim Thompson's house museum. Jim Thompson was an American expat who is credited with turnign around the Thai silk trade and bringing it to the attention of America, thus reviving a dying art. He died in mysterious circumstances in 1967. His house? Amazing.

But the thing about his house is, it reminds me of how my grandparents' house was. See, my grandparents (on my dad's side) traveled throughout Asia and the Middle East extensively in the late 50's early 60's. This was back when Thailand was still Siam and Iran was Persia. They saw Angkor Wat before Pol Pot did his worst to Cambodia. Their house, on the Guf Coast of Mississippi, was a veritable museum and style show of Asian and Middle Eastern Art.

I don't think I realized, until now, how much Thai art and style have infulence my whole view of everything, through my grandparents. I am fairly certain my grandparents met Jim Thompson. He was known for (according to the books) meeting up with every expat of some status who came to Bangkok at that time.

Anyhow, it's been a bit bittersweet as I walked around that museum, as everything I saw reminded me of my grandparents, and their incredible, beautiful style that melded Asian and American influences. I grew up with Buddhas and elephants and dragons and temple rubbings when other kids had naugahyde chairs, brown shag carpet and lava lamps. I feel very comfortable here, in a way, because I grew up with the visual language.

It's killing me because now I REALLY want to talk about all this to them, and they are gone. Opi died in 1987, Omi died a few months after I got to Norway. I've been thinking about them alot. I brought along a brooch that had been hers, that she got here on that trip. I like the idea of her buying it in Siam, bringing it to the US where it languished in her, my mom's and then my jewelry box, and then I bring it full circle back to its place of origin 47 years later.

I am also wondering how the hell they got all the stuff they bought home to the States. They must have filled a large shipping container. Me? I get a measly 20 kilo limit. Just the beads I bought alone might have put me over that. That's really starting to piss me off.

oh YEAH

I just got back from my massage.

Oh fucking YEAH. Hurt so good. Like, I totally want a cigarette now, if you know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink.

Oh, but wait. I don't mean it came with "happy ending" or anything like that. EW! It was just a really great massage. Swedish with aromatherapy. Then she did some Thai massage back cracking stuff on me and I felt like a giant walrus compared to her...but oh my god she totally popped every vertebrae I have and then a few I am not quite sure of.

I slept like a rock last night, then got up this morning to head for the massage. It was in this lovely new building, surrounded by all these run down wierd buildings. I walked about a mile to get there, and felt so foreign. Usually I manage to just go about my business wherever i am, but here I just feel...foreign. It's cool. Kind of. But also scary, because if I got run over by a car (which could happen very easily) no one would no who I was or where i came from. So, I take my ass in my hands if i ever try to cross the street. I feel very brave, but I also admit I wait for a local to start crossing the street first, then follow them. Might as well let them lead the way, and less risk of my getting squashed if there are two of us! I only crossed the street once, it's too scary. Unfortunately, it also felt like everything I wanted to see was on the OTHER side of the road! There were NO other white people. Well, one crazy guy who "woo'ed" at me. "Wooo! Woooooo!!! Woo woo!" Like that.

Bangkok is total sensual overload. You go from the enticing scent of jasmine and roasting meats directly to the scent of piss and garbage, within a few steps. My nose was twitching like a dog's, it just had too much to do. It's bloody hot, but honestly no worse than a summer day in Texas. It's just, there is less air conditioning here (I am told it's quite expensive!) so you sweat more because you are in the heat more.

After the massage I walked around a bit more, sweated, had some strange vietnamese food (I had to point at pictures on the menu, and the food did not look like the picture once it arrived on the table. I think I ate ass. Seriously. Grilled ass.) then sweated my way back to Colleen's flat, where I had a cold shower.

Now we are getting ready to go have facials, then we go to some fancy schmancy place for drinks and a birthday dinnner tonight. The place has a "no sandals" dress code, and I only brought...sandals. Damn this packing light!

one night in Bangkok

...and the world is indeed my oyster. (unfamiliar key board is causing many double letters, I've tried to clean them up but some remain. I'm too tired to figurre out how to get the iBook on Colleen's network so am using her lapttop right now.)

After a fairly sucky but on-time KLM flight (why oh WHY do they think that having no leg room on flights is ok? I mean, really?) I arrived in Bangkok around noon today. The iBook was a champ on the flight, I caugght up with my Prrojject Runway episodes and looked like a totally hip gadget geek ggirrl. At least I thought I did. Look ccool, that is. Well at least in my own mind. (I'm jet lagged, is this even making any sense?)

Note for those of you in Texas: I am now 14 hours AHEAD of you. After an endless wait at immigration where I was in line behind a bunch of monks, it was soooo ccool,, Colleen met me and we caught a cab to her flat. It was a very fast, kamikaze cab ride. They are all like that. And it was cheap, like $4 for the whole thing. That cab rride in Norway would have been $100 plus, easy. Cab rrides, I have since learrned are all kamikaze and very scary at times. Hang on and close your eyes for the dodgy bits.

I was so excited to be here, it was incredible. The best part of a trip is always that first bit, when you have the whole trip in front of you and ANYTHING can hapeen. I love that feeling.

Anyhow a nap and a shower refreshed me no end, and then we met up with Colleen's friend Anna and we went to Khaosan Road, this street crawling with farangs (tourrists or non-Thai) where there is food food foood everywhere.

Including fried bugs. I'm pretty jet lagged so I did not run screaming. I was too tired to react with my natural horrror. I did not eat the fried bugs, but I got pictures of them and a guy eating something that looked like a scorpion.

Skipping the bugs, I did have a wonderfful meal consisttinng of a falafel (the best I have ever had, $1.), an eggroll (25 cents) and the traditional dessert of mangoe and sticky rice, which is oh so yummy. Dinner cost under $2. God I love street food.

Back to the flat and am now about to crash. Colleen, bless her, has me scheduled for a massage, steam treatment, facial and pampering tomorrow morning at 11. That will be 9pm tonight for you Texas folks. Think of me being pampered at that time willya?. Nyah nyah.

The temperature here today is 75 degrees warmer than Norway. All the women here wear clip-cloppy plastic soled shoes and they sound like an army of Barbies going up and down the stairs at the skyrail stations. I think that will be my sound of bangkok, clip cloppy shoes on tiny feet.

oh so much to tell but all systems shutting down on this intrepid nerd girrl traveler. til tomorrrow......

pictures of where I am going

A while back, Colleen, my mother in law (one of two, I am lucky that I have two such cool women in my life. Rich's Mom lives in Pennsylvania) sent some pictures of her flat in Bangkok and some street scenes. I thought I'd post them, to start the travel on the blog and get my head into where I am going TOMORROW!

I am sure my postings will be sporadic for the next month. I am bringing my iBook, iPod and digital camera (oy), but won't bring the computer into some of the more exotic places. Colleen has broadband in her flat, so I should be able to keep updated when I am there. Be patient. I'll do my best.



This pig is not dead. Just sort of trussed. If this is how I had to bring home the bacon, I don't think I'd be eating much of it.


Living room of Colleen's flat. It's on the 39th floor!



Guest bedroom. Or maybe it's her room. I'm not sure.

View from the 39th floor.

Maybe this is the guest room? Or a corner of the living room? It's great, isn't it?

Colleen, doing her daily grocery shopping.

OK now I am now getting on with my day.....my last full day here.

and in other late breaking, bored and blogging on a Sunday, news.....

Plans are firming up for the trip to Thailand. (Unlike, I might add, my ass, which has lost none of its Wonder Bread softness and whiteness...)

Plans are made to go to the following places:

Bangkok (home base).
Chaing Mai (I have no idea WHAT to expect)
Krabi Beach (White sands! blue skies! blue water!)
Luang Prabang, Laos (which blows my mind)
and....(drumroll please)

ANGKOR FUCKING WAT.....

Angkor Wat, people! ANGKOR WAT! Only in my top five of places I must visit in my life time. (The other two left...Taj Mahal and Maccu Piccu. I've already taken care of the Nile and Morocco. My list of five is now down to two. Holy crapping crapness.) It's been a dream of mine to go there since I was a kid reading those Time Life books about mysterious places and forgotten cultures. (Amazing, really, how much those books influenced me and my sense of adventure.) One of those places that I thought about the same way I thought about Mars...it exists, but I'll never see it.

And now I will. See it. Angkor Wat.

Holy shit in a sidecar. I might be shedding some tears of excitement, gratitude and just plain holy-shitting-ness right now. In fact, I'm verklempt. Let me give you a topic.....