Thursday, September 27, 2007

lag of the jet and achieving true womanhood

The flight home ended up being very smooth, even with the minor check in hangups. All the flights were on time, I got a bulkhead seat AGAIN on the long part from Chicago to Brussels, AND I got all my luggage at the end. Wow.

I have figured out one thing, however. It seems like American Airlines directly correlates an inverse ratio of plane size to attendant size. Once again on the flight from Springfield, the tiny plane was served by a HUGE guy, and yes, once again my arm got rubbed raw (I am trying to think of it as assular exfoliation) by the poly-cotton pants of the large male flight attendant to-ing and fro-ing on the aisle. Not only that but he paid an unGODly amount of attention to a little girl sitting on the seat diagonally behind me, and so his ass tended to rest on my shoulder while he talked to her. Poor kid, how scary was that to be confronted with a giant goofy slow talker in poly-cotton blend pants for the whole flight and have no escape? Her parents tried to be as polite as possible, but it was a little icky how much attention he gave that kid. Granted, she was pretty cute.

Got home, took a nap, and then could not sleep that night. Finally dropped off around 6 am, Rich woke me up at 8 so I could go to work, I said "10 more minutes" and then I next woke up around 1:30. Which made it a bit late to make it to work.

Same non-sleepiness happened last night, but this morning Rich made sure I got up and got my ass to work...only to be made late anyhow by total train chaos as they were all late 'due to signal problems'. GRRRUMBLE grr arg.

Spent the whole day catching up on emails.

Last night before I went to bed, I sprayed a shitload of Easy Off Oven Cleaner in the oven. See, the oven has been FILTHY for months and I am too scared to use the 'self clean' mode. There are like, 1000 things you have to do as precautions to ensure "safe usage" and most of them involve things that I am not sure what they are talking about, and all of them involve severe warnings if you don't do them just right. Plus, the self clean mode goes to something like 1000 degrees and I am not at ALL comfortable having something that hot be baking away inside a plaster wall that backs on to my living room. And you have to do it for TWO HOURS and it says that you should make sure the whole house is adequately ventilated. But it's not really warm enough to adequately ventilate and did I mention I am a big lily livered chicken anyhow? (Big confession here: I've never actually ever cleaned an oven before. They never really got dirty enough for me to need to. Because I never really cooked all that often. Until now.)

So when I was in the US I got me a big ol' can of Easy Off and brought it back to Norway. Fume Free, says the can. Toxic, say all the warning labels. Exactly what I was looking for. You can't get oven cleaner here, at least none that would be even close to strong enough to get rid of the goo I've got going on in there. And let me just say I wanted a big ol' toxic, kill your babies before they are even born, take the skin off your hands American cleaning product. That also smelled pretty and citrusy!

And holy shit did it work. I sprayed it around, left it on over night, and today, after work, voila! Sponged that baked on shit right outta there. It never had a chance. Lemony fresh clean oven. Courtesy of good ol' Murican chemistry.

I believe that I have just crossed the last threshold into true womanhood. I cleaned my oven. Yep, I am woman hear me roar.

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