HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Someone on a forum on my LoseIt website posted this. Too funny. Happy Rapture, I guess Norway will be pretty unscathed. Or whatever. (Click on the picture to bigify.)

In other news, if the Rapture don't take me, riding my bike in Oslo on a Friday will. Damn, I don't think I will ride my bike to work on Fridays anymore.

The Rapture...I'm hoping for empty grocery stores

Apparently the Rapture is coming on Saturday. If so, will that get me out of work on Monday, and, will it mean the stores won't be so crowded on weekends? If so I am all for it. For those of you with pets, there is a solution so that your pets won't be left alone after you Meet Your Maker.

I'm totally looking forward to it. Though I'm pretty sure I won't make the cut to go Upstairs, because, you know, evil.

If you are wondering about the picture, above, I just posted it because I liked it, no other reason. It's one of a gallery of images from a really hilarious and creative artist. It's the captions that get me.

may 17.jpg

may 17.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

In the thick of it!

May 17th

IMG-20110517-00382.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

17 May (Norway's National Day, like July 4th) on tv. Getting ready to go out in it. Shame the US doesn't have a national costume tradition like Norway, because the bunader sure are pretty. Everyone looks so elegant and olde worlde in their outfits, it adds a certain old school charm to Oslo. Women walk better in full skirts than they do in tight mini-skirts, more assured and almost swaggery. Nice to see.

Even nicer are the men in tight bucksin trousers.

I love 17 Mai!

blog babes.jpg

blog babes.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Out for girls night with my blog pals, Tressa, Corinne and Karen (the blogless Scot).

trendy oslo hangout.jpg

trendy oslo hangout.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

At Laundromat. Very trendy. And cute! Food a bit pricey though.

What I've been up to lately

I've been doing this.

I SUCK at diets, but I decided spur of the moment, upon re-entry into Norway from the US, that this little belly I am sporting in my doddering old age is just NOT acceptable and it must go.

Now, I'm realistic about myself. I'm tall, curvy and I have never been skinny. I've always been rather shapely, I guess, and while I have always had an ass and jiggly thighs, my belly always stayed firm and fairly flat. This new me, this me with a little belly, is uncomfortable as I don't know how to dress this me and I don't know how to handle this me.

So this new me is going to go back to being the old me. The old me with the tiny waist and the flat belly. I think I can do it with just 10-20 lbs. I'd be more than happy with 10, but 20 would be absolutely fantastic (but could entail me cutting parts of me off.)

The bummer of it all is that I have never needed much food. Maybe I have a slow metabolism? Maybe, though I have the body of a large bird of prey, or possibly more like a dodo, I actually only have the metabolism of a sparrow? So, anyhow, diets don't work too well for me because a 1500 calorie per day diet is not low enough for me to actually lose weight, as that is probably all I need to actually maintain weight or even (gasp) gain. The doc here on my recent check up thought my thyroid might be a bit low, so I am also taking some kelp to give my thyroid a boost naturally. He's gonna retest in a few weeks to see if it is too low or if that test was a fluke.

Since diets aren't usually successful for me, I need to exercise too. (Shit.) Because, I know from past experience, exercise DOES work. I'm riding my bike, walking, bouncing on my rebounder, and when I get the first hint of results, I bet I will start weight lifting too. (Weightlifting is really the only thing that actually works for me, I build muscle well and quickly.) The bike riding certainly is giving me a workout, I'm looking forward to when the ride home from work is not quite as painful as it is now. What, me, out of shape? Nahhh.....(yes. Hell yes).

So this website I'm using, LoseIt, has ways for you to track your food and your exercise. It's cool because it syncs with my iTouch so I can do it on the fly and never feel like I am falling behind. It's also kind of fun to track your progress and see where you might cut back (goodbye buttered olive bread at work.) I've been very diligent with it and I hope that I get some results soon. It better, because I've also given up drinking rosé in the evenings and THAT my friends, is the ultimate sacrifice and shows just how serious I am about this. You don't get between a girl and her vino without some really good reason!

summer view of oslo fjord.jpg

summer view of oslo fjord.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Summer!

balcony ready for summer.jpg

balcony ready for summer.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

All planted up, cleaned up and ready for summer!

crossing.jpg

crossing.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Well shit. Looks like I picked the wrong place to try and cross the street! Some road race has shut down Oslo. I'm stuck on the wrong side of my house for what looks like a while!

IMG-20110507-00335.jpg

IMG-20110507-00335.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Spring color! Yeay!

kindle cover.jpg

kindle cover.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Lookee my gorgeous cover for my new Kindle. Looooooove.

TSA is silly

So, Rich had a couple of old Indian arrowheads in his backpack, that he found on my parents property in Missouri. Nothing big, just some little ancient stone arrowheads.

We had a smooth drive from Missouri to Texas, spent the night outside Houston, and this morning, after a necessary last refuel at Chuy's to stock up on proper Mexican food for the next 6 months, we headed to IAH airport to catch our flight home.

TSA confiscated Rich's arrowheads. Said they were too pointy.

Not, mind you, that they were potentially valuable historical artifacts. Not, of course, that they were of archeological significance.

Nope. Pointy. Too.

Because, you know, if *I* were going to take over a plane and kill people, I would DEFINITELY do it with an arrowhead found in a mud-ridden, tick-filled field in rural Missouri. Nothing like some home grown, hand carved terrorism to really get the old juices flowing and make me feel alive.

Imagine the fear in their eyes as I brandish all 1 1/2 inches of pure carved ancient Indian stone at helpless people all around me. Whooping and hollering in my Cherokee accent, I take over the plane wearing my best feathers and war paint. YES! I OWN this plane!! Me and my arrowhead! My evil, pointy, scary found on the ground arrowhead!

Which is why I have given Rich his Indian name.

Flies With Pointy Rocks.

As close as I got

As close as I got, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Me and the royal peeps. Note my huge hands.

Last Tex MEX

Last Tex MEX, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Chuy's!

66

66, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Route 66

Well THAT'S a bummer

I got a Kindle EReader just the other day. I thought it might be a fun way to keep up with books as they come out Stateside, and see what was new, and save on shipping costs. Also our book club reads somewhat hard to find titles sometimes, and this might save time in ordering books, just 'poof' there they are on the Kindle!

And so for my first book purchase I wanted the latest Sookie Stackhouse novel, Dead Reckoning, which comes out May 3rd, when I will be back in Norway, having just missed the release date in the US.

WTF? They are charging more for the Kindle version than the hardback on Amazon!!!!!!!!!

That's just EVIL. Apparently that is the publisher's doing, no Amazon's. Seriously? $16 for a book in a digital format? Highway robbery. No paper, no delivery costs, nothing. MORE than the hardback!!!!

Bastards.

Travels, bullet post

• Cities visited since April 14th: London, Houston, Navasota, Washington-On-Brazos, Brenham, Giddings, Bastrop, San Antonio, Blanco, Fredericksburg, Johnson City, Austin, San Marcos, Waco, Waxahachee, Dallas, Muskogee, Joplin, Springfield.
• Number of times it rained in Texas: 0
• Number of times I managed to lay in the sun by the pool: 2
• Approximate wind speed as I lay by the pool: 25 mph
  
• Amount of rain after Texas: Started raining as we drove through Oklahoma at around 1pm, and has not stopped since arrival in Missouri at 9pm last night. Still raining now.
  
• Number of times I wished the rain would just GO TO TEXAS: 500
  
• Number of miles put on rent car: 1400 so far
• Number of times we had to stop to add air to a leaky tire on rent car: 1 (in the rain)
• Number of times I mis-ordered a beer at BlackStar Coop called "Recalcitrant Dockhand" by calling it "Recalcitrant Dickhead": once, but then the joke stuck and I kept doing it.
• Number of Lucchese boots I bought: 1 pair (to replace my black cherry classics with the exact same thing)
  
• Number of times I had BBQ: 5 (once a year is my usual, so I am good for a while)
  
• How much I love my friends in Austin: 1 jiggity jillion times

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Peep peeps!

Downtown Dallas

Downtown Dallas, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Straight thru Dallas

Easter morning, Austin

Easter morning, Austin, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Good morning!

Fredericksburg Tx

Fredericksburg Tx, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Chicken fried chicken and Franziskaner dunkel weissen. German Texan at its finest!

Mmmm

Mmmm, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Mmmmm

San Antonio

San Antonio, originally uploaded by karlakp.

On the river walk.

Y'all come back!

Y'all come back!, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Bbq joint and old cars on the road outside. It's a gorgeous day.

Ah Texas

Ah Texas, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Bbq in my homeland.

Room at the Inn

Room at the Inn, originally uploaded by karlakp.

The room at the b&b we are in this weekend. Zowie!

funniest video descirbing Norway EVER

OH so true.

ugly 60s house.jpg

ugly 60s house.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

I went wandering around in the lovely weather today. I love to putter around our neighborhood as there are gorgeous old farmhouses and grand old apartment buildings from the 19th century (and a very few 18th century!). Such elegant architecture with such grace and charm.
Which made coming upon this monstrosity all that much more jarring. This is a private home, not the American embassy or a doctor's office. What really kills me is the thought of the house they probably knocked down to build this crappy place! The 60's were not a good time for architecture in Oslo.

Why I haven't been that eager to move home. Right here.

I don't know why the GOP thinks it's ok to wage war on women, or why they are so afraid of anything of a reproductive nature. Hey Republicans! Uterus! Fallopian tubes! VAGINA!!!! Menstrual cycles! Pap smears! Labias! EEEEEEE!!!!!! Scary woman stuff! Planned Parenthood deals in SCARY WOMAN STUFF! They help women take control of their lives and their SCARY FEMALE BODIES! We can't allow that!

Hey Republicans, really, what are you so afraid of? Why don't you go focus on something important, like, oh, I dunno, the economy and the fact that the US has lost all respect in the world and is no longer a relevant super power?