A thing about me you should know

First of all, Happy New Year! I hope your year is great, and that, as I read on FB, may your bad times in the new year last as long as your resolutions! (I thought that was great, and it also leads handily in to my topic today.)

So, people will inevitably ask, "What are your New Year's resolutions?" And I will have to say, "I can't tell you". Because I am superstitious about that.

I think, if there is one thing you should know about me, it's this: I'm dead superstitious.

I'm serious. I'm a heathen, I am not religious, I am not especially a believer in ghosts or spirits or anything like that, but I am SERIOUSLY superstitious.

I won't walk under a ladder.
I will NOT open an umbrella indoors, ever.
If a black cat crosses my path I get the hell out of the path and change directions.
I have Turkish 'evil eye' buttons over the main entry doors of the apartment, and I carry a chestnut with me at all times that my Mom gave me, for luck.

I just do those things as a part of my life and I don't argue with it, but I also don't fuck around with it, it's serious up in here, you know?

So I also have this other thing, this superstitious thing, that might explain something about me, if you have been reading me for long. It is a motto of my life, and some people might see it as me being negative, but that is really not the case.

Here it is:

I talk out the bad things, and I don't talk about the good. Which might explain why it seems as if I am complaining or ranting more than being positive? It's because talking about the bad stuff expels it. It makes it go away. It takes the juju away and makes that bad thing go out into the ether and disappear.

Which is why I don't talk much about good stuff, for the same reason, as I don't want to dispel its power, I want to keep it close to me and not let it disappear. I want to keep the light within me and let it shine. (I am pretty sure my brother does this too. As a family, we tend to need to talk out the bad, but we are pretty cagey about good stuff. Is it a German thing? I don't know.)

Now, even within that there are rules. Of course I will talk about the good that other people do for me. I will talk about how nice people are, or how wonderful a meal was, or something. Exterior good things, sure, I'll talk about. But good luck, money, personal good issues, I keep inside. I don't want to jinx it.

Which is why, coming around to New Years, I won't also talk about my New Years Resolutions. I need to keep them in me, to let them plant their seed and grow and so I can make them happen.* Also, if I want to be downright honest, I don't want to say anything because I hate it when people remind me of a failed one, like Rich does. "Hey, why didn't you keep up with that?"
Easier to keep it to myself and challenge and berate myself if it happens or not, than hear it from others.

So, that being said. I have New Years resolutions. They aren't all that exciting, thy are basic. But I need to work on them for a bit to see if they work out.

*And hells to the no, there is nothing to do with getting pregnant or any of that shit in this, so just don't be thinking in that direction. Yeuch, I am so past that now.