Keeping chin up even if it means using a crane to do so

Argh. What a crap couple of days. What a crap few MONTHS.

What is really, seriously, getting me down the most is that lately I am entirely at the mercy of OTHER PEOPLE. I have NO SAY in some major facets of my life, mostly having to do with where we live and what the immediate future will be. I'm a pretty take charge kinda gal, so having to wait for OTHER PEOPLE to decide things about MY life really pisses me off in a big way. And then, if we are in a position to actually make a decision, the choices are so crappy, it's like, "Ok, so you wanna get kicked in the teeth or in the balls?". (I pick balls, because I don't have any, but Rich vociferously disagrees........)

I do think we have decided to stay in Norway another year or so. Mainly because it's good for my career to do so. It's gonna be a bit of a squeeze, but I think we can manage. So that's one decision made. We hope.

Then.....our landlord tells us, he thinks he wants his apartment back. He's not SURE, he'll let us know in a week or so, but I'm like, WTF? You wanna kick us out? NOW? After all the shit we've been through? Not only with this apartment, but also just in general? And you want to make us wait while you decide?

So that's the other thing that's been getting to me..... it's all these authoritarian entities giving us "notice" of an impending "decision" or "change of contract" that hasn't happened yet but will (maybe) and in the meantime why don't you just stew in fear, frustration and stress while "we" put our heads up our asses and decide just how much we want want to fuck you over? Rich and I are left not being able to make any actual plans because the impending doom has or has not yet occurred and so we just sit and wait. Because officially it hasn't happened yet, there is no signed anything saying anything has happened and so officially nobody will help you enact Plan B and you can't do shit. Contractually. Officially. Fuck.

But wait. And look at housing on Finn.no and think about whether we will have to move or not and how much can we afford now, in our new straitened circumstances.

Well, at least I feel like I am getting some fight back. I'm dropping the 'f' bomb right and left, which is a sure sign I've got some gumption back in the ol',... er.....whatever that thing is that gumption is kept in. For those who know me, the me who curses alot is way WAY better than the me staring at things numbly and crying at the drop of a hat. I don't like that me at all. I don't think anyone does. Luckily she doesn't show up that often.