Has it been a week already?

Howdy.

Sorry for not posting this week, it's been just kind of crazy.
Gatherings, parties, mayhem & madness. A very dear friend who I have
known since moving to Norway is moving to Singapore this week (Bye
Mary!) and though I don't think she reads my blog I just want her to
know how much I will miss her, and her wonderful, extraordinairy family.
One thing for sure about expat life: you gotta accept change as a given
and that you or your friends will move at some point. Hard lesson I
learned very early in my time in Norway! But still heartbreaking every
time it happens.

Woke up this morning to learn about the deaths of Farrah and Michael
Jackson. Wow, hard day for those of us who grew up in the 70's/early
80's. Everyone is twittering and Facebooking about it...interesting to
see the reactions. I think I feel more for Farrah than Jacko. She really
had a rough time of it at the end. (Um...pun not intended there.)

I'm going white water rafting this weekend with a bunch of work people.
Not so much a team building as just a loose gathering of folks from
different departments getting out into the Norwegian countryside. I'm
excited about the countryside part of it, as have never really gotten
out into nature in the middle of the country like this, but a bit
nervous about the actual rafting. I am NOT a sporty girl, my last foray
into canoeing was DISASTROUS. Luckily I am a strong swimmer and have no
fears of water or anything. More worried about showing my ass in a
swimsuit/wetsuit to people I work with, worried about looking like a
dumbass when the extent of my non-sportiness becomes apparent, and
worried about SHOWING MY ASS IN A SWIMSUIT TO WORK BUDDIES! I don't have
the body I had even 5 years ago.

Which brings me to, I really hate being 40. I thought I would handle it
with equanimity, but I have to admit, I fucking hate it. The minute I
turned 40, I started seeing real, terrifying and not-reversible signs of
aging and I do not like it one bit. Eyesight changing, my body changing
(where did this little BELLY come from?), my energy levels changing, my
knees hurting...it all fucking sucks. The worst part of it is, even if
you are looking totally hot (harder and harder to achieve lately), as a
40+ woman, you are no longer just plain hot, you are henceforward 'hot
for 40'. Or 'hot for your age'. You can never again just be a hot chick.
I am having a REALLY hard time dealing with that.

Still awaiting word from landlord. Don't know yet if we have to move or
not.

Don't be offended if you post a comment and it doesn't show up for a few
days. Not sure I will have access to internet to approve them. But thank
you to all who have made such nice comments...it really does a lot to
make me feel better about things that have happened of late. I know
things will get better, I'm just trying to get everything in line so
they can. Opening doors and windows to let the new opportunities flow
in.