Friday, August 27, 2004

The bells! The bells!


Our doorbell just rang. Our landlord, whom we love, just fixed it the other day. It has not worked for most of the time we have lived here, (the battery was dead....who knew it had a battery?) and I can now say that it was vastly preferable when it did not work.

That doorbell is the loudest, most unpleasant, jump-out-of-your-skin-when-it-clangs piece of crap cacophonous thing that I have ever heard. It sounds like the five alarm fire alert bell that goes off in a fire station. It's LOUD and RAUCOUS and HORRIBLE. It reverberates offf the wood floors at a decible level that is, I think, illegal in most Austin night clubs.

Whenever people ring it, they don't just poke it once for a short "brap" of clangor. Nooooo, they LAY on it, two and three times (is that a Norwegian thing?) and it scares the ever loving SHIT out of me every time.

It rang twice already today.....neighborhood kids selling things. Things I don't want. The doorbell rings, I run downstairs to speak garbled infant Norwegian to some poor kid who wonders why the retarded lady at the door is bug-eyed, wild-haired and panting (I just jumped 8 feet when they hit the doorbell and then ran up or down the stairs to answer the damn door!). I tell them no, I don't want any sausages/fish/raffle tickets for soccer balls. They think I am a meanie. Then I have to go back to where I was when the doorbell rang and clean up the floor, as I pissed myself because it scared me so bad.

Most of our neighbors think we are the rude Americans. Probably because we never answered the door because we never heard the doorbell. (Norwegians don't knock. Ever. We have not had an unsolicited knock on the door in over a year. Today, two rings. Hence, I can safely say that Norwegians don't knock.) Now, our neighbors will just think we are crazy, as when they DO ring the bell they are gonna get a piss-soaked, crazy eyed gibbering woman wheezing out at them.

I think those batteries just might have to die again real soon......

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous1:45 PM

    you can prolly dampen it. the bell. your shown ability in the floor category. if it's a mechanical bell, put some paper on the bell to make it click instead of ring when the clapper hits the bell. if it's electronic, you can put some paper over the speaker or piezo-electric thingie.

    hey, my friend in LA talked me into doing a live journal:

    i don't know how long i'll do it, but since i normally send stoopit emails to folks, it's not much more of a hassle. peace.


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