Thursday, October 06, 2011

Kicking it up a notch

So I took on a personal trainer today.

Judging by the exercises he had me do today (something with ropes, then something with my feet on a big ball while I kept my hips in the air and tensed by ass muscles, then something called kettle bells where I had to sort of swing the ball thingy and thrust my ass forward (gosh, I hardly KNOW you!), hanging from strappy things with stirrups and arm straps and so on) I had a very hard time not making jokes about how it all reminded me of the episode of Sex & the City when Samantha experimented with a sex swing. I kept getting mental images of everyone in that gym hanging upside down and nekkid as jaybirds. I managed not to make the joke, as, poor kid, he just met me. I've learned that the average younger Norwegian needs time to get used to me. I'm like a fine wine or scotch....it takes time to fully appreciate all my flavors and nuances.

This is obviously not conducive to a serious workout. And my trainer has NO idea what he is up against with me. He is a sweet, blonde, sculpted, eager trainer trying to build up his clientele (and his English, he wants to move to Australia, of course he does, sweet dear, they all do). I am a 43 year old, possibly *slightly* jaded, possibly slightly scary Texan gal with a wicked naughty sense of humor, a ready quip, a sardonic grin and a tendency to not take things very seriously. However, I also have an ass that I want to shrink, so if he wants me to hang upside down from those ropes, holding a ball of some sort, while singing "Alt for Norge" in my best operatic voice and flexing my abs, I will do so.

I'm certainly paying him enough for the privilege of him putting me in strange positions. But I've gotten far enough in my workout routine now that I need to shake it up a bit. I've already gotten complacent and it's time to push it farther....

Poor kid. Wish him luck.

3 comments:

  1. tqe | Adam11:55 PM

    "<span>I've learned that the average younger Norwegian needs time to get used to me. I'm like a fine wine or scotch....it takes time to fully appreciate all my flavors and nuances."</span>

    You sound like me -- although I have that problem with everybody in general.  I have to restrain myself before I alienate people....  That said, I have a very nice woman training me.

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  2. Take it easy on the poor naive kid. Teach him things, but be gentle! My wife has had me in training for 30 years and i'm just starting to get the hang of it.

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  3. karlakp10:28 AM

    Jon, can you give my husband some pointers, then? It's been 18, but it's going slow....

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