How cold is it?

It's so cold that:

• This morning I got one of those cold weather, dry air nosebleeds. (I subsequently learned that a super plus tampon does not fit in my nose, only the slimmer regular size.) ANYHOO, after I managed to stop the bleeding (it were a gusher, that one) I left the apartment to head to work. The residual blood dried, then FROZE, and my nostril glued itself shut. I froze my nose closed. (Say that 3 times fast.) It was uncomfortable, to say the least. If someone could have videoed me on the bus, they would have seen some strange facial expressions. I couldn't blow my nose for fear of a re-bleed, so I just had to let it itch and feel sticky.
• A sub zero freezer in your kitchen is redundant.
• If the ice on the sidewalks could get any colder, it would become a new, even slipperier form of ice. Which it was.
• My super ugly, clunky LL Bean Goretex lined winter boots are my favorite shoes, but they are starting to smell from constant use.
  
• I've pulled out my old flannel lined khakis which are now my new favorite pants.
  
• They are not very sexy, however.
  
• It is impossible to dress cute when it's this cold.
  
• It's 86 degrees F warmer in Austin. That totally freaks me out.
  
• As does the fact that the heating in our apartment has to get it at last 68 degrees warmer inside than out.
  
• I sneer at your air conditioners that cool to a mere 20-25 degrees cooler than outside temperatures!
• A friend of mine got stuck in Paris en route back from Houston to Oslo. He arrived there early Sunday morning. Due to the flight chaos, he finally got back after midnight last night. He was delayed THREE DAYS.
• I am thankful that Norway and Scandinavia in general know how to work an airport in cold weather.
  
• Argh.