Friday, December 03, 2010

Anatatomy of a Clusterfuck: The Twitter files

Just for shits and grins, here are all my Twitter posts over the length of my very loooooong trip back to Oslo. (The day culminated, fyi, in a cab driver screaming at me because he thought my luggage was too heavy. When Rich met me outside the apartment building when the cab stopped, I got out and burst into tears when he hugged me. The cab driver got out and started yelling at me again, and Rich nearly took his head off. (That was satisfying.) If i hadn't of been so tired and demoralized, I would've been turned on.)


Anyhow, read down for the whole sad Twitter saga of the Trip From Hell (London to Oslo Portion).



The Texpatriate

And to end the day, the cab driver was an wanker and screamed at me. Today sucked arse.

12 hours ago


The Texpatriate

Ok, yeah, its ass cold here in Oslo but somehow I can deal. Don't know why, but its not so bad....has my blood thinned?

13 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

I'm too tired to deal with the extreme culture shock I am feeling right now. Wanna go back home to Texas. Where its warm & ppl say scuse me.

14 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

Yep. Back in Norway. Had 2 people shove me and a door slammed in my face. Why do they have to always be first?

14 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

This BA pilot is a bit of a jokester. Not sure why he is so chatty and in a good mood, but I rather appreciate it. Now get me home!!!

16 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

Am finally on a plane. Have been at #lhr for 12.5 hours. Pretty sure I don't ever want to do this again.

16 hours ago


The Texpatriate

All domestic and short haul flts out of #lhr canceled after 1900. My flt is at 1855. Just barely squeaked by: gate is open. Whew?!

17 hours ago

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PineCurtainGal

by texpatriate

@texpatriate Bless your stinky, stringy-haired ass.

18 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

I could go have a shower, but then I'd have to put my stank ass clothes back on, defeating the purpose. 12 hours at #lhr is enough.

18 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

@Blogography Not on the plane yet, just wishful retweeting of @LouisCK. Oh to be drunk AND on a plane.

18 hours ago

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Louis C.K.

by texpatriate

On a plane. A lil drunk. Just a lil.

>>

The Texpatriate


@kory Perhaps, but only the English can fuck up something this spectacularly. When things go smooth, brilliant. When they don't? Chaos.

18 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

@PineCurtainGal I'm there, too with the smells. I want a bath SO bad. Ever seen me with stringy hair? You could now. I'm disgusting. #lhr

18 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

@louisck WISHING I was on a plane, but stuck at airport due to snow (one fucking cm in London.) But I am drunk too....solidarity!

18 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

Ever been so tired you think you might barf? Me neither, but I think I am almost there. #noplacelikehome

19 hours ago


The Texpatriate

I have that "not so fresh" feeling. Woke myself up snoring on a sofa in BA lounge, to find drool. Sexy international traveler's life.

20 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

The conversations you hear in the business class lounge. "Do we have enough capital for Poland?" I bloody hope so, mate.

23 hours ago

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The Texpatriate

@elmadaeu Usually BA treat me well. Am surprised by how badly they have handled this. Mightily surprised.


The Texpatriate

Flight cancelled. Ba won't rebook. They are making me go thru customs immigration bag reclaim and start from scratch!!!!!! Fucking shit!

2 Dec

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The Texpatriate

Flt lhr to oslo cancelled. BA supremely unhelpful. They are making me feel stabby.

2 Dec

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The Texpatriate

Pretty sure we are now driving this plane across England. My God where is the gate already?

2 Dec

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The Texpatriate

Landed at very snowy Heathrow. Let's hope I can get back out. The English can't handle snow....I sense trouble ahead.

2 Dec

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The Texpatriate

Damn. Just stepping foot on a plane makes me gassy. Well, that and the champagne. (Burp) (fffrrrp)

1 Dec


The Texpatriate

Wifi out at BA lounge at DFW. They say it's been so all day. Well, um...fix it? That is why I want to use the lounge!!!! #dfwfail

1 Dec

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The Texpatriate

My parents watched me go thru security to see any junk touching. Anticlimactic. TSA lady apologized when I said my folks wanted a show.

1 Dec

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The Texpatriate

Hmmph. Was all ready to get self righteous over my junk, but TSA security was a doddle. Not even a frisk! Feel gypped!

1 Dec

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texpatriate The Texpatriate

I don't wanna fly today. Don't wanna don't WANNA. (throws 4 year old's temper tantrum) noooooooo!!!!!!!

1 Dec

7 comments:

  1. emily6:54 AM

    Sounds like you need a few days off to recover (or a few glasses of wine!)...... that was a shit trip back!.... sorry to hear it all went so badly :(  commiserations

    ReplyDelete
  2. Karen (Blogless one!)1:43 PM

    God god Karla. Even I am traumatised just my reading the Twitter version of events.
    Yes sadly the weather and culture hits us right in the face when we land. Don't get me wrong I know alot of really nice Norwegian people I now call friends but I have sadly had alot of people push me aside and never say sorry for almost knocking me over ( and I am pretty hard to budge. There is alot of me) No place for bad manners.
    I heard BA made a complete cock up of everything just of snow. Am I not right in thinking the snow is on the...er...ground and the flights fly in the ....er...air
    Anyway you are now "home" with your man. And we thaw easily and adapt but the memories of home will keep you warm. Have a good weekend redadjusting :o)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Marcela from Brazil3:09 AM

    nice to find your blog! I also live in Oslo. If you want to make a new friend here write to me: marcela_orsini@hotmail.com ( also can find me on facebook)

    ReplyDelete
  4. jaymo8:59 AM

    Wow, that blows.  And then the cabbie had to be a dick too!  What freakin' luck.  At least hubs was there to promise the beatdown for you.  Points for him!  Wine for you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Do they push and shove in Norway too? I thought it was a German thing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. karlakp12:53 PM

    Nope, it's not just a German thing..... :-(

    ReplyDelete
  7. Michele4:27 PM

    OMG, Karla, this chronicle of bullshit was extraordinarily entertaining to read---thank you for posting it. I promise that my enjoyment of it was tinged with very sincere sympathy for your misery. But still, it made me laugh out loud.

    ReplyDelete

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