Things that happen when I visit my family

This is by no means an exhaustive list.

• Giggles.
• Guffaws.
• Some hollerin' (usually by Dad.)
• Farting (my brother, though Mom has done herself proud this visit)
• A visit to Walmart, as there is really no place else to shop.
• I needed toothpaste.
  
• A walk in the woods
• Comments on the level of water in the creek (high, it rained)
  
• A lot of eating.
• Some more eating.
• Drinking wine
• And more eating
• Which makes the farts recommence
• My brother actually farts directly in my face in a very sneaky and awful walk by farting.
  
• I give him a wedgie.
  
• We watch a movie
• First we argue over which one to watch.
• The boys wants shoot-em-up or car movies
• Us girls want something less testosterone-y.
• We settle on 'Adventures in Babysitting".
• (Both the boys think Elizabeth Shue was the cutest girl to ever appear in a movie)
  
• Dad hollers that the TV is too loud.
• Mom says she can't hear it
• Mom guards the remote and immediately turns down the movie everytime music plays or something loud happens
• Both parents complain about how the noise levels vary, and how much that bothers them
• This always stresses me, the constant attention to TV noise levels.
• Like what, will it KILL them if it gets a bit louder?
• Mom pounces on that remote like a kitten on a mouse.
  
• They both fall asleep within 5 minutes of the movie starting
• So it doesn't matter anyhow.
  
• At 10 on the dot we switch to the news.
• We all wait expectantly for the weather.
  
• The weather forecaster comes on, Dad hollers that he is always wrong and he never gets the temperatures right and that it never DOES rain here like he says it will.
• Immediately after the weather, the TV is switched off (we abjure the sports) (and there is no staying up for Leno, at least not on the main TV, though any one for the three other tv's may sport Leno or Letterman at the watcher's leisure, provided sound is low.)
  
• Pillows are fluffed, room is tidied, and everyone is sent off to bed.