dumbassery

I think I might be the world’s biggest dork.

When getting ready in the morning, I wash my hair and then flip it, wet, over my head and do a few big shakes of my head to get the excess wet out. It resembles a headbanger move. I usually do this in the shower right before wrapping my hair in a towel.

This morning, for some reason, I altered my routine and shook my hair out over the bathtub. This was a bad idea. I cracked my browbone, full tilt and force, on the edge of the tub SO HARD I saw stars. I yelled, once, a big deep “OW!” and Rich came running to see me bare assed naked bent over the edge of the tub holding my forehead in bemusement, confusion and pain. Birdies tweeted, stars floated, it fucking HURT.

I missed shattering my nose at the bridge by about a half a centimeter. I could have REALLY hurt myself. I now have a nice little lump, luckily no bruise as of now, and some pain when I bend over. Damn, what a dork. Breaking my own face on the side of the bathtub? Dumbass.

After gathering my scattered wits and getting dressed, I stumbled to work. Outside the train station by my office, there is a cross walk hard by a busy roundabout that I cross every day. Cross walks in Norway are sacrosanct, the pedestrian has right of way no matter what, and it’s very common for pedestrians (not me, I’m American and we LOOK for Christ’s sake) to just walk right out without looking as they are just so used to having right of way. Cars WILL stop.

Unless they are trying to pass on the far side of the truck that has stopped for you to cross, don’t see you and only stop when the truck, which you are crossing directly in front of, blares its horn and scares the ever loving SHIT out of you, making you stop just as the car trying to pass hits its brakes on the other side of the truck, ending up right where you were about to be in one more step.

Holy. Shit. That truck driver saved my life.

I just stared at the stupid girl driving the red Toyota who nearly killed me, on a cross walk, because she was too impatient to wait for the truck that stopped. I looked her directly in the eye and she saw me too.

Bitch.

And it wasn’t even 9 am yet.

The day didn't get much better.