Heaven

Heaven, originally uploaded by karlakp.

A store dedicated to special beers.

Breakfast

Breakfast, originally uploaded by karlakp.

View from room

View from room, originally uploaded by karlakp.

With thanks to the Powers That Be for this view.

Amsterlutely fabulous

Amsterlutely fabulous, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Gorgeous day in Holland. I am at an outside cafè on the Singel drinking wheat beer and getting a tan. There are worse ways to spend a Saturday!

Now

Now, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Addendum to previous post...

with thanks to Mags.

the song is now my cell ring tone.

My day

"Karla!"

"Hey, Karla?"

"Karla, can you help me with this?"

"Karla, what do you think of this?"

"Karla, how does this work?"

"Kaaaarrrrllllaaaaaa!!!!!!?"

"Karla Karla Karla Karla Karla Karla Karla....!!!!??"

Any wonder I don't have kids? I have co-workers!

Ok, so according to today's horoscope I am a dumb horny blonde?

1.       Leo (7/23-8/22)

Your attention span will be shrinking as the day goes on, so it's not a good day for afternoon meetings or lectures. Even a foreign film with subtitles might be a bit too much to capture your concentration for long. Facts, figures, numbers and names will just bounce around your head today, so it's not a good day for finalizing business deals or dealing with complicated math. Right now, your mind would rather deal with instant gratification and brief interludes of stimulation.

Jeez I’m even too ditzy for a foreign film? Those brief interludes of stimulation sound rather good though.

 

 

Best. Website. Ever.

Thanks to Jaye for this. I am snorting coffee through my nose.

I'm sorry.

I want to keep repeating I'm sorry like Kevin Kline did in A Fish Called Wanda. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But why the hell did you ROB YOUR OWN HOUSE?"

Anyhow, off topic.

I am sorry for not blogging more often. I am NOT going to be one of those who drops blogging for Twitter and FaceSpace and all that, I am keeping on keepin' on with the blog because it is the perfect form of expression for me.

Except...the self censorship. Oh the fucking self (and husband) censoring. People, it's getting a bit out of hand.

Things I don't write about:

• His work
• My work
• Last names
• Town names ('cept Austin, who can censor Austin?)
  
• Family names
• Did I mention, his work?

So we have some big shit going down with regards to stuff, but I am obliged to not mention any of it. AND, as it is all that I think about (and stress about) these past few weeks, the blog is distinctly neglected as all I wanna do is RANT and RAVE. And the husband is very big on NOT TALKING about it and people, I need to talk. I am a talker. My whole family, we talk out our problems. If we don't? We explode into messy bits of problematic angst. WE TALK. Once the talkin's done, we're fine, but we must talk it out. MUST. TALK.

The husband, not so much a talker, so I am obliged to not talk as it is his shit I wanna talk about. So I am largely shutting up and drinking alot of rosé, which is not good for me or my ass.

So lately there is more I can't talk about than I can talk about, so I just don't talk at all. And get rather explody with the angst.

So, instead, I bang my head on bathtubs, get the much needed facial (more on that in a mo') and make Drunk Chicken Tacos after yet another night at the pub hashing out scarily adult issues with other stressed out people.

So, facial. Got a facial yesterday and apparently I have guzzled from the Fountain of Youth because the facialist could not BELIEVE that I am 40. I felt like that character on Saturday Night Live, "I'm 50! 50 Years Old!", except I'm, you know, 40. She thought I was 32. I almost had to show her my driver's license to prove it. She kept saying "But you have no wrinkles! None around your eyes!" She was very impressed. (I think that she also got a customer for life in me, it was a good facial, and she squeezed the BEJESUS out of my black heads, saying, "Your pores are too small!" How can I NOT love her?)

Here's what I don't get, however. So here I am, with this 'perfect skin' and this non wrinkled (and now black and whitehead free, thank you very much) face, and what does she do? She proceeds to cover it with about 10lbs of mineral makeup. I go from glowing youthful complexion to matte, flat, orangey 'what you hiding under there?' old lady face. WTF? WHY do they do that? I couldn't keep my glasses on my nose, they slipped off from all the foundation and goo!

I came home and washed if off, and replaced it with my usual 30 spf sheer sunscreen and smoky eyes. Ah...there I am. Look 32....feel 85.

dumbassery

I think I might be the world’s biggest dork.

When getting ready in the morning, I wash my hair and then flip it, wet, over my head and do a few big shakes of my head to get the excess wet out. It resembles a headbanger move. I usually do this in the shower right before wrapping my hair in a towel.

This morning, for some reason, I altered my routine and shook my hair out over the bathtub. This was a bad idea. I cracked my browbone, full tilt and force, on the edge of the tub SO HARD I saw stars. I yelled, once, a big deep “OW!” and Rich came running to see me bare assed naked bent over the edge of the tub holding my forehead in bemusement, confusion and pain. Birdies tweeted, stars floated, it fucking HURT.

I missed shattering my nose at the bridge by about a half a centimeter. I could have REALLY hurt myself. I now have a nice little lump, luckily no bruise as of now, and some pain when I bend over. Damn, what a dork. Breaking my own face on the side of the bathtub? Dumbass.

After gathering my scattered wits and getting dressed, I stumbled to work. Outside the train station by my office, there is a cross walk hard by a busy roundabout that I cross every day. Cross walks in Norway are sacrosanct, the pedestrian has right of way no matter what, and it’s very common for pedestrians (not me, I’m American and we LOOK for Christ’s sake) to just walk right out without looking as they are just so used to having right of way. Cars WILL stop.

Unless they are trying to pass on the far side of the truck that has stopped for you to cross, don’t see you and only stop when the truck, which you are crossing directly in front of, blares its horn and scares the ever loving SHIT out of you, making you stop just as the car trying to pass hits its brakes on the other side of the truck, ending up right where you were about to be in one more step.

Holy. Shit. That truck driver saved my life.

I just stared at the stupid girl driving the red Toyota who nearly killed me, on a cross walk, because she was too impatient to wait for the truck that stopped. I looked her directly in the eye and she saw me too.

Bitch.

And it wasn’t even 9 am yet.

The day didn't get much better.

Bubble man does the silly walk

Bubble man does the silly walk, originally uploaded by karlakp.

I saw this first thing this morning. At first I thought my hangover was REALLY bad and I was hallucinating, but no, it's performance art. Later this guy gave birth to himself by somehow getting inside the bubble and then birthing himself back out of it. More pictures on my flickr, just click on the picture to go there.

Big weekend for Norway

Norway won the Eurovision song contest last night, by a rather large margin. I make a point of not listening to or watching any Eurovision stuff leading up to the contest so I can be surprised at the time, and also so that I can let my gut lead me on which song I like best.

This is not as easy as it sounds. Most of the songs are of the 'strong woman singing a vaguely Eastern sounding power song while her hair is blown by fans' variety, so they are hard to tell apart.

Germany, as always, gave us something unusual and Dita Von Teese appeared on stage in full corseted splendor. I rather liked Ukraine also, mostly because of the very hot gladiators in loin cloths dancing on stage. I'm sure the song was ok, too, though I couldn't remember it if I tried.

Norway's entry was cute and a little folksy and very charming. Catchy, too, though I don't see myself buying it. That won't be a problem, though, as it will play on the radio every 10 minutes for the next year.

We had some friends over to watch and we all hollered and screamed during the voting and had a good time. The party wasn't as crazy as some of my previous Eurovision parties, but that might be a good thing. Means less pain for me later, in the hangover department. The last train out was at 12:30 so people had to rush to catch that or spend alot of money on a cab to get home. It does tend to cut an evening short.

We did get a giggle around 1:30 am as a Russ bus pulled up in the road and bunch of drink girls stumbled off and proceeded to squat and pee in the bushes, behind park benches, and in one case, in the doorway of the building directly across from us. Of course we got a full moon view of it all from the balcony and we did a little hollerin' and hootin' to cheer them on. "You GO girl!"

Today is 17 May, Norway's National day, and everyone and I do mean EVERYONE is out, right now, in the plaza below, dressed in full bunad glory. It's a gorgeous day today (last year it pelted rain and snow!). There was a parade and now everyone is milling about in their finest, watching and seeing and greeting friends and basking in their Norwegianness and their Eurovision win. Russ busses are parked out on the road (strangely they all have American themes so there is one dedicated to the NFL and John Madden, wtf?) and they blast their music in competition with the little accordion band who are doing their damndest to be as loud as they can, but are no match for the bus that is really just a stereo on wheels.

I feel a little sad watching everyone; I should be down there and enjoying it for it might be my last. I feel a bit pressured to do all the things I might miss if we leave. Store up memories, do things I've always meant to do, but never got around to, etc.
My squishy head and coffee starved body say otherwise, however, they say, "Have a late morning and recuperate from last night!" If I do go down I have to dress up a bit (if you don't have a bunad you should wear something nice on May 17 as a mark of respect) and right now I'm pretty comfortable. I do see, however, a stand making crepes with chocolate.....hmm, that could be a good breakfast.

Relax

Relax, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Organizing for a Eurovision gathering tonight. Been running for hours. This is in my near future!

this just adds to my confusion

 

 

Here’s a rather good New York Times article about Norway bucking the current world wide economic downturn. I think the unemployment rate has risen a bit, and there has been a small correction in the housing market, but by and large, things here are pretty steady. I like actually getting something I can use from my taxes…..not just warheads and overpriced pork barrel projects

 

Compare this to the US…..

 

Sigh, what to do what to do?

If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing

Which is why I haven't been blogging. I really don't have anything positive or interesting to say. (Not that I don't have good stuff happening, I actually had two very good bits of news this week, but they are so totally overshadowed by the CRAP. And, I can't talk about the good stuff anyhow. Shame, if I had gotten either bit of news any other time it would have made my week.)

So now I'm left with a lot of stress and some very difficult decisions to make which have to happen faster than is comfortable, yet will affect us for the rest of our lives.

Our time in Norway might be at a sudden end.....or it could continue for a very long time.

And we have to figure it all out by end August. I don't think three months is enough time to figure out the rest of your life, do you? Either way, no matter what, it means a move this summer. I fucking HATE moving. I am very, VERY angry. And stressed. I am so stressed it's sort of unreal. Physically, as well as mentally, overwrought.

I can't put any more details than that right now. (FYI, our health is fine, families fine, all that is ok, nobody's died. Some dreams, yes, those have died, but not any people.)

I think maybe I'll just show my general feelings pictorially.

Nimoy

I saw the new Star Trek movie on Friday and was absolutely bowled over by it. I can't remember seeing a movie I have enjoyed that much in YEARS. I tend to be a bit doubtful about sci fi movies, I usually lose the plot somewhere and get confused by the backstories of characters I am supposed to know about from cartoons or comics. I'm a history buff, so the forward thinking of sci fi generally leaves me kind of 'eh'. Space ships and solar systems leave me cold...give me a good Rennaissance or Regency storyline anytime.

But Star Trek? Shit that was great. I mean, let's face it, it kind of WAS about history, really, the history of Star Trek, which is pretty much part of the lexicon of being an American. So I enjoyed it in a historical context, an interesting story (and mostly understandable, though time travel always confuses me) context AND it was fucking hilarious. Belly laughing, guffawing, giggling madly, hilarious.

I like that.

I'm going to see it again tonight. I can't wait to see it with Rich and see his reaction.

Which leads me to Leonard Nimoy.

I've spent the past 24 hours thinking about this show I was OBSESSED with when I was a kid. I mean, OBSESSED. It was narrated by Leonard Nimoy and was about wierd and unsolved mysteries on our earth. And I couldn't remember the name of it, though I can still hear the theme music in my head, no problem.

Finally, I asked Rich if he remembered this show and without hesitation he says, "Oh, yeah you mean 'In Search Of...'". (WTF? This is a guy who can't remember our phone number or my birthday, yet he can remember the name of an obscure 70's 'documentary' with no problems? I will never ever understand him. I am not meant to. His brain works in ways I cannot comprehend.)

Anyhow, do you remember 'In Search Of...'?

Man I loved that show. I watched it religiously and NO ONE was gonna get me away from that TV when it was on. (I was also a kid who regarded this book as my Bible. I likes me some unsolved paranormal mysteries, me does. That book is solely responsible for my having gone to Angkor Wat, you know. It literally changed my life and alot of my travel is based on shit I read in there when I was a kid.) 'In Search Of....' was the SHIT for a curious kid with an obsession with all things odd. It was soo cool to see, on film!, things I had only read about, and to know that maybe, if it was on TV, that other people out there were interested in the same things as me. so maybe i wasn't THAT strange after all.

I wonder if I can find a DVD of it. I bet now it comes across as hokey.

Sko

Sko, originally uploaded by karlakp.

New favorite shoes bought yesterday. Last pair, shoved lonely in a corner, 70% off and meant just for me. Serendipity baby!

Things that have happened/that I thought about, in the past week

• Went for a wonderful long walk on Friday. Us and some friends. We walked along a coastal walk not far from here, along the fjord, through ancient farms and a lovely little holiday area that felt like it was in New England. Gorgeous day.
  
• One wierd thing happened on our walk?
  
• As we walked along the path, we saw a guy climbing straight up a very tall pine tree in the woods.
  
• He had a camera. He was a really good climber.
  
• When he got to the top of the tree, he started taking pictures of a boat about 50 yards away in the fjord. There was a lady on it, lying in the sun.
  
• I think he was a papparrazzo.
  
• He said it was his boat and he was taking pictures of it.
  
• Seems like a lot of painful effort to get a shot of your own boat!
• Me and Pam called bullshit on that one.
  
• I might have gotten a semblance of color from walking on that sunny day. From white to off-white.
  
• Hoping to repeat the experience today on a smaller scale. Walkies! Waiting for the sun to come out!!
  
• Made bacon wrapped scallops and roasted new potatoes last night. Might lightly pre-cook the bacon before wrapping the scallops next time. Bacon here is kind of thick and wasn't crisp enough by the time the scallops were ready.
  
• Scallops? Very new food for me. Have only started eating them in the last month or so.
  
• Had a very stressful week, complete with a minor anxiety attack on Wednesday. This stress, which I won't go into, will end soon, (I hope!) but the sense of powerlessness I am encountering is well nigh crazy making.
  
• I'm getting an actual, honest to God, white streak in my hair. I'm wondering if the stress is contributing? Not sure how I feel about it. Leave it or cover it? Hmm.
  
• Last week when I went out with 'my boys' from work, did I mention I got hit on by a girl?
• THAT was wierd. We were at the Dubliner in Oslo, she was some random Norwegian chick, drunk as HEY-all, and she hit on everyone in our group, including me.
  
• I kind of hated her. She was kind of a bitch. I didn't want to associate with her at all.
  
• At one point, she snatched my glasses off my face, after first trying to stroke my breasts.
  
• If you want me to punch you, all you need to do is touch my glasses. (Touching my boobs will be handled on a case by case basis. Glasses? THOSE are a different story.)
  
• If you want me to take your ass down, take them off my face.
  
• She knew (even in her drunk state) that she had fucked up, when, as she held my glasses behind her back, I got very cold and serious, and told her, very clearly, "You give me those back immediately. I am not fucking around." (Not that I could see her clearly enough to really hurt her, have I mentioned I am fucking BLIND?)
  
• She gave them back. She could tell I wasn't kidding.
  
• I walked, no, STALKED, off.
  
• The boys were rather stunned, and, I think, excited. I mean, they got to see me get felt up by a GIRL, and they almost got to see a cat fight! Perfect night for a guy!
• I don't fight, fyi. It's tacky.
  
• I had the craziest dream last night, that I was going out with the guy from Mythbusters, Adam Savage? And he was a terrible kisser. I am SO not sure what that was about, but wow, I really know how to dream a bad kiss. Yeuch.
  
• I think that is more than enough randomness for today. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
  

Today

Today, originally uploaded by karlakp.

Ah. Perfect.