Saturday, December 08, 2007

I killed a man just to watch him die

Ok, ok so I lie. But I DID get really HUFFY.

Basically (and girls, this one is for you) if you go to a place where there is dancing and there is a handsy little bastard who keeps dancing on you and you tell him DO NOT DO THAT and he does it again and you tell him DO NOT GRAB ME and then he does it again and you push him away and say again DO NOT GRAB ME I'M SERIOUS and then he rubs his bony little ass up against you and you say STOP THAT I AM NOT KIDDING and then he says "Hey we're just having fun so DANCE WITH ME BITCH!"......what would you do?

Considering that this is a dude who grabs or insinuates himself in an offensive manner every damned time I see him (and he does it to every other woman as well, and honestly, any warm body on the dance floor) and he doesn't SEEM like a stupid guy? I mean, he has a JOB that apparently SMART people are supposed to do?

How much NO can you put in NO before this person understands NO? I will TALK to you but I will NOT tolerate you putting you hands on me in that insinuating way. Just because I am a woman does NOT mean you can grab me. (And believe me, I am VERY tolerant of the flirtation, nudge-nudge-wink-wink and general drunken abandonment that happens on a typical night at the pub/club. I mean, VERY tolerant, even, at times, enthusiastic. ) I do have a nice curvy figure, yes, but I also have a HEAD and BRAINS and you do not get to DISREGARD those and aim straight for the yum yums, as if that was ALL I AM.

So what did I do, you wonder.

I killed the little slimy bollocked bugger.

Ok, ok I lie again. After he said "Dance with me bitch", I stopped dancing, flashed green lasers out of my eyes, turned around and stalked off the dance floor. I mean I STALKED. I FLOUNCED. I think I even STOMPED.

I wish I had slapped. (One of the highlights of my collegiate career was the time Bookhart and I were at a bar and a guy was sort of rude to us and Bookhart ever so elegantly threw her drink in his face. Seriously, the ballsiest move EVER and another reason why she rules. If I had a drink in my hand last night I would have thrown it in his face, but I only thought of it now and seriously, drinks are sort of expensive to just go throwing them in slimy bollock's faces?) But when I flounce, man, you KNOW it's serious. If I ever flounce in your vicinity, you want to tread lightly with me from then on......

I've tried being pleasant to this person, I mean I AM Southern and we Southerners always try to be nice to everyone, but he is off my list and there is no getting back on my list once you are off. I've flounced and that is IT.

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