That promised bullet post

• Ok, so where to begin.
  
• Well, first, I got really sick exactly two weeks ago.
• Like, that Wednesday night, one minute I feel fine, the next I have a horrendous stomach ache and am hurling my guts out.
  
• It lasted a week.
• I've never had stomach pain like that.
• It was like an alien was trying to get out.
  
• The doctor told me to take Tylenol and go for a walk.
  
• Cuz, yeah, I could totally stand up straight.
• Norwegian docs don't go for the pain meds and the fun drugs.
• However, I was impressed by the fact that this doc's office (a new one I just registered for) has an on site lab, that does lab work WHILE YOU WAIT.
• Took five minutes for a full blood and urine work up.
  
• Total cost for visit was $35.
• My tests were negative for any recognizable, earthly ailments.
• They don't test for aliens, though.
• Which I TOTALLY had in me.
  
• Also, you know when you are watching a movie set in the Victorian era or earlier and someone has a fever and the doctor and the concerned wife/sister/mom watches the sick person as they sweat and are delirious?
• And how they are so worried they will die?
• And then the sick person suddenly opens their eyes, and the doctor says, "The fever has broken. She will live."
• That was me.
  
• I totally FELT the fever go away.
  
• One minute I'm sweaty, weak, semi-delirious and exhausted, the next I'm all like, "Hey, can I have some Kool-Aid?" (That Kool-Aid tasted fucking awesome.)
  
• So now I totally understand those movies.
• There's an upside to stomach maladies, though.
• Ladies, you know what I'm talking about, right?
• Yep. WEIGHT LOSS.
  
• I lost 3 pounds.
  
• So a total of 9 pounds lost altogether.
  
• Surprisingly, that has almost been enough to get me back to a place where I feel good in my clothes again.
• Luckily I lose weight in my stomach first.
  
• Ass goes last.
  
• (Actually, ass will never go, let's face it. Ass remains; when the zombies come, they won't eat my brains, they will eat my ass.)
• I'm aiming for another 10-11 pounds and then I will be where I was when we moved to Norway.
• Cuz I had just come off the "OMFG I'm moving to NORWAY" diet and boy was I stressed and skinny.
  
• But people at work are asking if I have lost weight and I am getting boys checking me out, in a "hey baby" kind of way, which is kind of nice.
  
• (Digression). Why does my husband always insist on starting a conversation with me when I am trying to write or concentrate on something? He won't say anything all day, then, when I want to focus, BAM there he is wanting the attentions. (Digression ends.)
• Speaking of work, I've been on a bit of a high lately.
• It's been really cool, I've been the office moderator/problem solver.
• Everyone comes to me now for professional advice and help with problems whether IT, personal, HR, dealing with bureaucracy or whatever.
  
• I feel like I've turned a corner and people actually value my opinions and input.
• I totally love it. It feels good.
  
• I probably should have gone into HR or some sort of people-helping field.
  
• My birthday is tomorrow.
  
• I'm mid 40's now.
  
• EARLY mid-40's, but still fucking mid forties.
  
• I don't like that idea one little teeny bit.
• Life has gone way too fast and I am now on the downward slope, and I ain't happy about it.
• I'm going to Sweden.
• Seems a sensible thing to do on a birthday.
• Happy Birthday to me.