Well, what the hell. I got alerted by a friend (Hi Ren Maddox!) that a strange post showed up here so I had to remember how to log in and now I am remembering how to blog again.

Ironically now I am a full time writer (or more properly a "proposal analyst") so the last thing I want to do is write, but here I am. But most of the writing I do is boring techy stuff and I spend my days chasing people to GET ME TECHNICAL CONTENT SO I CAN MAKE IT PRETTY BY DEADLINE and honestly I just feel like a glorified pain in the ass with a fancy title. I wouldn't work if I didn't have to. Right now I have to. Maybe later I won't.

Ok, so it's been a REALLY big few years for me, so I think maybe I'll just do a bullet post kind of thing.

I'm not actually sure how far back to go. Hmm, let's see.

• I think maybe I posted about the big, rather strange but lovely house I bought in Houston?
• The big one on the lake with the views and the kitchen to die for and all the fancy mod cons one could hope for?
• Yeah, sold that. 
• And separated from the husband
• And moved into a little 1930's bungalow in central Houston while I went through the divorce process.
• Divorce was final in June 2019
• In July I moved back to the little house in Austin. 
• (I sure loved that little bungalow in Houston, though, that was actually a really nice time and the Houston Inner Loop is a great place to live)
• The house was the only thing I fought for in the divorce, Rich got everything else. 
• He wasn't happy about the divorce, but we have ended up bring pretty amicable. 
• I still love him but we just weren't working anymore
• We grew apart. 
• So here I am.
• I got a job in Austin and am fixing the house back up slowly but surely.
• I built a carport and driveway
• Am installing a Japanese garden
• Redid floors and painted and built in bookshelves and got Ikea closets because I still have a giant wardrobe,
• (I got rid of half my wardrobe in the moves, and it is still huge)
• The job got really intense once the Covid hit and now I am working crazy hours trying to keep up
• But we got a 20% pay cut, so it feels like I'm working extra for so much less money than I should get
• The oil crash hit my family and lots of my friends hard
• Poverty sucks. 
• Oh did I mention that my dad died in 2017 and we moved my mom to Texas the next winter?? Yeah, that happened too. 
• It's been a really tough few years, y'all.
• I mean, ALL the things happened. 
• So for Christmas 2019, before 2020 and Covid and poverty and oil crashes and pay cuts happened, I bought my dream car. 
• My gift to myself.  
• For making it through what  I thought was the worst years that had ever happened to me (until 202 fucking hit, I mean, seriously.

• 

  2016 Porsche Cayman (981) with 6 MT, Porsche sport exhaust and it's freaking yellow. Isn't it beautiful? I've wanted one since the first time I saw one many years ago. And it's MINE. All MINE!!!!!!
  
  

  So there you have my past few years in a nutshell. who knows, maybe I'll post more. Or not. Last thing I want to do lately is stare at a laptop.

  
  I've also forgotten how to blog, I used to be pretty good at this, not so much anymore.
  How the hell are you????? 

It's been a long time...anyone here?

It's been a long time since I wrote anything on this blog. Sorry about that. I guess, you know, life, has gotten in the way.

But lately it seems like life has just gotten so out of this world insane, I really don't know what to think anymore.

.....Rant begins.......

To whit...Trump. And the election. I mean, holy shit, what the fuck, and HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.

The world has gone bat shit insane. Anyone else feeling this way? I dread looking at Facebook and Twitter, I dread watching the evening news, I dread the headlines on the NYT,  the Wash Post, The Houston Chronicle. I hate seeing that squashy wet-lipped orange faced badly coiffed person on TV that apparently has become our president. (I am going to say he is NOT MY PRESIDENT. He may be THE President but he is not MY President.)

When did the idiots start to rule the roost? When did rudeness, bullying, indecency, misogyny, proud stupidity, selfishness and racism become ok? When did it become ok to pander to Russia, and ignore ethics, and pretend like science isn't real, and that women aren't humans, and that the Constitution doesn't matter?

When I went to visit my folks a couple weeks ago, I noticed a new proliferation of Confederate flags flying proudly in front of quite a few homes there. New flags. Obviously recently bought because these people now feel like it's ok to be openly racist. Now I know the Ozarks are not exactly at the forefront of progressive thinking, but holy shit, I actually felt scared to be a Democrat there. Like if I flew a rainbow flag, I'd be shot. (I guess it's the opposite, here in Houston if you flew a Confederate flag in front of your house, you'd likely get some bullet holes in your walls but at the same time, Houston is multi-cultural, diverse and we fight pretty hard to stay that way here! We know what that Confederate flag means, and it sure as hell doesn't mean unity.)

The irony of the Ozarks and their non-progressiveness is that a whole hell of a lot of the people living there are supported in some way shape or form by a government program that was initiated by, you guessed it, Democrats. There's a lot of big families supported by Welfare and Medicaid. Old folks on Social Security. Old folks using the HELL out of their Medicare. Old folks in nursing homes (my dad being one of them) paid for my Medicare. Yet these are the same folks who voted for Trump thinking he will bring them jobs and will Make America Great Again. These people don't realize the Trump HATES them. HATES THEM! He just said what they wanted to hear. And they fell for it. Because they want a "change" (Let's face it, they just want a change from a black man who was President.) Trump is a fucking jester in a court of idiots. He said what they wanted to hear, it was all a joke and now these people voted him in (to be sure, a quirk of the Electoral College and not reflective of True Democracy).

So when Social Security gets cut..... And Welfare gets cut...... And Medicare and Medicaid gets cut..... Who is going to have to pay to support their parents, or these people who will starve because they cut food stamps, or the sick people that won't get the treatments they need? Why it will be me, the Democrat, who will take care of them. I will fill in the gaps that my dad needs in the nursing home. I'll help my mom pay her bills. I'll pay my taxes into a system that doesn't help me, where the money goes to the military industrial complex, and to support rich assholes clamoring to become the 1%, and I will do what I need to do for my family who misguidedly voted this asshole in, because I love them.

But that doesn't mean that I will be supportive of people who vote for people like Trump, even if they are family. I love them, but I will not excuse their vote. When Trump fucks up my family, I will take care of them because that is what love is. But I will fight Trump and his policies tooth and nail. I will march. I will call. I will write letters. I will show up at the offices of slimeballs like Ted Cruz and show them that what they are trying to do is NOT OK. Maybe at some point I will get arrested. Fine. I think it is about time that we all get some damned Rosa Parks action going and stand up for what we believe. This fight is no longer about black people getting their rights, women preserving their rights, or LGBT rights. We are now in a to the death fight for HUMAN RIGHTS and we need to come together as PEOPLE, as HUMANS and make sure that the Powers that Be (though only for the next two years because WE WILL VOTE THEIR ASSES OUT) know that we are ON TO THEM and we aren't going to let this stand.

.....end rant......

I am off to New Zealand for two weeks this Sunday. I can't fucking wait. I can't wait for the trip but I also can't wait to get out of this miasma of anger and frustration and confusion that we all feel. I am shutting off all social media and I am going to just be a person exploring and learning.

The person I used to be. The person I miss.

She's coming back.

The sunrise i woke up to this morning.

My Houston house is for sale. Some lucky person will get this view. This is unfiltered and as it was taken, absolutely un-retouched.

We are moving back to Austin.

Anatomy of a tweet gone viral

On Friday I tweeted something funny I saw on my friend Emily’s facebook. It was something her husband had posted on her wall. It was a list entitled “10 Rape Prevention Tips” but when I read it, it turned the usual rape prevention tips aimed at women on their ear, and aimed them at men instead.

My original tweet (cribbed from Emily) is here.

10 Rape Prevention Tips. (not what you expect). @lizzwinstead pic.twitter.com/9CLYqrmVAu
— The Texpatriate (@texpatriate) March 21, 2015

In my tweet, I had “@’ed” Lizz Winstead, a well known feminists/comedian, because I thought she might find it enjoyable. Obviously she did because she retweeted it, intact with my words.

Not long after Lizz retweeted it, apparently Sarah Silverman saw it and retweeted it. Her post is here.

These are great- send to all the men in ur life RT @texpatriate 10 Rape Prevention Tips. @lizzwinstead pic.twitter.com/IPfWsaz9zz
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) March 21, 2015

  It was kind of late on Friday and I went to bed.  I had no idea about the retweets that had been sent.

I woke up and as is my habit, picked up my iPad (since phone was dead) to see what new stuff had happened in the social media world overnight. Facebook was all normal. Went to my email…and saw I had about 1000 emails. Um, what? They were all Twitter notifications. Ok, that’s weird.

So I went to Twitter…and BAM, it all exploded. Notification after notification of retweet and favorite, and replies and some weird guys calling me a cunt, and a feminist whore, and some guys saying it was great, and all these opinions, and a bunch of new followers, and here I was, not even having had coffee, wondering WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE?????

Ah. Sarah Silverman happened, that’s what. Wow. So that’s what power looks like.

So, in her repost of my tweet, she RT’ed my post, and left mine and Lizz Winstead’s name in, but she altered my words from what I had posted to “Send this to all the men in ur life”.  My original version was way milder, it just said “10 Rape Prevention Tips: Not what you expect”. Her version certainly has some punch, but man, has it pissed off a bunch of people. And they are ALL replying to all. And I am that kid stuck in the middle. I am getting INUNDATED with replies and crazy people and people who just have to let everyone know how outraged they are. I know the nasty responses aren’t aimed at me, and Silverman is a very controversial and outspoken character, so she is is the one they are aimed at. I'm collateral damage. 

I get why some people might be kind of miffed by her saying to send the tweet “to all the men in ur life’. No one wants to think that someone they know is or could be a rapist. I totally get that. All I know is, if you really are the kind of person that gets offended by her tweet, you are EXACTLY the kind of person that needs to read it. 

I’m pretty amazed at how irony just goes right over the heads of so many people. And also, how many cool people there are out there who get it. And how a lot of them (majority actually) are men. It’s both reaffirmed my faith in humanity, and showed me that the dipshits and reactionary people are outliers.  But boy, they can be scary. And everyone wants their say and everyone has their own little soapbox. And they certainly say stuff on Twitter they would NEVER say to someone’s face! People are so BRAVE behind their anonymous accounts.

Whatever. Now that tweet is out there, and it just keeps going…and going…and going. I thought it would all blow over on Saturday and I could have my email account back, which actually shut down from the 8000 notifications I got from Twitter. (Or maybe Twitter stopped emailing notifications, I am not sure.)

It’s made it into the Independent, and the Telegraph, and a whole bunch of other news sites, and man, it just won’t die down.

I always wondered what a tweet gone viral would be like. I’m sure most people who tweet (and aren’t famous) do. I thought it would be kind of cool. And in a way, it is. But it’s also tiring, and a little scary, and infuriating, and damned hard on my iPad battery, and then it’s also a bit….far away, because, let’s face it, this is not aimed at me, I’m just that kid in the middle. I’m keeping this temporary notoriety out of Facebook, and have asked my friends who tried to mention it there to keep it on the downlow,  and of course I am not mentioning it at work.

But I kind of wish Sarah might contact me and say “Hey, sister, thanks for the tweet and sorry about the craziness, it’ll blow over, how ya doing?” because this has been one HELL of a roller coaster ride and I am just hanging on for dear life and trying to ride it out.

I’m ready for my 15 minutes to be up. Ready for the virus to be over. 

August

It's August. It's hot. I forgot about the august doldrums. How freaking hot it gets here.

 Yesterday was my birthday.

My cousin Eddie came to visit us from England last week. I already miss him.

 I'm getting a root canal tomorrow. (another one. I'm expert at these things now.)

I'm hoping to get back to England again in Sept/Oct.

I still love my car.

IMG_20140710_105643.jpg

IMG_20140710_105643.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

This was the art in the lobby of the office. Where I would have worked had I stayed in Norway. I repeat: this is in an office lobby. Holy shit balls.

IMG_20140710_163630.jpg

IMG_20140710_163630.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

I'm in Oslo. Got here late last night. Second hotel room better than first. First one was a garret on the top floor, under the roof, absolutely roasting facing east. If the windows were open I was cooked like an ant under a magnifying glass. Closed, I suffocated. It was 90f in there overnight. And it was charming, but made for a hobbit as I kept hitting my head on the roof beams. I called uncle and changed and they loved me to this. Ah, air conditioning!

IMG_20140708_191804.jpg

IMG_20140708_191804.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Ti martoonis, please. A night out in London, at the Shard bar.

IMG_20140706_175137.jpg

IMG_20140706_175137.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Tate Britain.

IMG_20140705_133328.jpg

IMG_20140705_133328.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Hotel room in London. Rule Britannia!

This had me howling with laughter. Absolute giggle.

The posh martini and the olive that got away

IMG_00000905.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

The martini and the renegade olive.

As mentioned in my previous, more countryfied post, I've been traveling again.

Originally I was supposed to go to London on the 19th for a few days "me time" before a raft of meetings for work the 24-28th. But then Mom called, Dad had a set back, so I changed my ticket for London and went to Missouri to be with her for a few days. Dad's ok, but not really making the progress we would wish. I won't go into that, though. Anyhow, I got back from Missouri Saturday and flew to London the next day, to arrive Monday just in time for the meetings to start.

The meetings were long, and very busy, but interesting. They ended Friday afternoon, and i hared off to Winchester to spend time with my cousin, Eddie, and we did the usual shopping, bar hopping and so on, including spending time with his lovely group of friends. Winchester is a great town, I could live there.

Then back to London, for three days, for the 'me time" I had originally planned for. I splurged and booked myself into the Dukes Hotel, they had a pay 2 get 3 nights special.

I should mention, it seems a pattern with me, that i book into hotels that are known for having good bars. The Zetter has an extraordinary bar, and the Dukes is world renowned for its martinis. Ian Fleming used to drink there and they say that the martinis James Bond drinks are inspired by those at Dukes.

Don't believe me? Go here for a start. 

So, last Tuesday (April 1, which suits this story), after a long and successful day of shopping in London, I toddled down to the bar at the Dukes and ordered my martini. (I had been to this bar before with my friend Karen who lived in London at the time, and she and i had a great time there.) I can't drink gin, so ordered a vodka martini, and the bartender, Alessandro, rolls his cart to your table and mixes the martini right there, with a sense of pomp and circumstance. I was surrounded by posh Englishmen with fruity accents, and American financiers who kept talking stocks and margins and venture capitalism. Basically, I was the 99% infiltrating the 1%.

All was going well, the martini was excellent (and VERY STRONG), I had my mini iPad and a newspaper and little snacky things for my entertainment, which mostly kept me looking busy enough that the lofty denizens of the bar didn't really notice me listening to them and wondering at their...confidence? Arrogance? I don't know, it was pretty dang enlightening, what they talked about.

All was going well....until I reached for an olive. The little bowl of olives came with little olive swords, you're meant, of course, to stab the olive and eat it off the stick. I spied an olive. Picked up my sword. I aimed. I stabbed. The olive flinched, jumped, and hopped out of the bowl, onto the table and made a run for freedom onto the floor rolling allllllll the way across the bar to land at Sir Poshiford of Poshchester's handmade leather shoes clad feet. As it rolled, all eyes followed it...it was a traffic stopping olive. The bar got silent.

Oh God.

I sat, empty sword in hand, feeling like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when the escargot got away and she exclaimed "Slippery little suckers". Being me, of course, I said "Bollocks! It escaped!" and chased after it. I'm sure posh English people just wait for the help to pick up their renegade cocktail snacks, but here in 'Murca, we hunt and kill our own. So I grabbed the olive from Sir P's feet and placed it in the little white 'dead olive' plate, and it can be seen in the picture above.

I'm kind of glad I'm at an age now where embarrassment doesn't affect me that much. As it was in this case, I just giggled and texted a few freinds about it, hahahah the olive escaped, omfg, I'm such a dork, That kind of thing. Then i ordered another martini.

I was a third of the way through the second martini when I realised....I was drunk. And I hadn't eaten. Those martinis are STRONG and I am a lightweight and there was NO WAY I was going to make it through that second martini without some serious tipsiness happening.

As a happy drunk, this made me giggle, so there I was in the corner of the bar, giggling and texting and honestly really quite happy with things. I realized I would have to carefully plan my exit from the bar, as I didn't want to seem as drunk as I was, so I owlishly scouted the route, pre-thought out standing, walking and exactly how many steps it was to get out of there. I really had to think it through. After the Great Olive Roll I didn't want to reveal myself as part of the 99% any more than I had to.

So, after a somewhat giggly self count to three, I grandly stood from the chair, picked up my ipad, told the bartender my room number for the bill, measuredly strolled form the bar, and (once safely out of anyone's view) careened from side to side on the stairs up to my room, where I passed out face first on the bed, at 830, drunk as a lord from 2 martinis a la 007. Hats off to James Bond. A man who can hold his liquor.

(The next night, btw, I went out with my cousin and his friend Streaky, where more martinis were consumed and I slighty redeemed myself by getting back to the hotel at a more appropriate midnight, sans staggering.)

What I did last week

IMG_00000816.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

It's been a bit of a whirlwind lately. I went to Missouri on a bit of an emergency to be with mom as Dad had a set back, then the next day flew to England for meetings for work.

I did manage to get some time off, and this picture is from Winchester, where i went for a very nice walk through the Water Meadows to St Cross, an ancient almshouse/priory, still used as such to this day. This is the back side of the church there, and there were cows. Definition of bucolic, no?

I also spent a few days in London outside the work meetings, and stayed at Dukes Hotel, and had one of their world famous martinis. (ok, TWO of their world famous martinis.) That story and photo come next.

Lust (chair porn)

IMG_00000691.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

I want this chair. It would fit my house perfectly.

Satanic Selfie

IMG_00000002.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Before the Gary Numan show I took this pic, which came out way evil than I intended. Scaaaaary eyes

Gary Numan

IMG_00000677.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

In which I saw Gary Numan last night, and was so close I could hear him singing without the mic.

I invented the selfie

Yeah,  I said it. I invented the selfie.

Here's proof.

http://bigheadpictures.blogspot.com/

An entire blog (abandoned ages ago), dedicated to my big ass head in front of small (by comparison) landmarks, most all photos taken as selfies, before the dang term "selfie" ever existed. I was ahead of my time.

You are welcome world.

Royalties to be sent c/o The Texpatriate.

Music, a blog recommendation, upcoming travel and random stuff

Random post about stuff I am into right now.

• Gary Numan's latest Album, "Splinter". Kicking my ass with the gothy synthy dancey goodness. I almost can't listen to it in the car. It makes me drive too fast.
• NIN's latest, "Hesitation Marks". See above.
• This blog. She's a friend of mine, ok, well, my friend Anne's older sister, who was always WAY too cool for me when I was in high school, I mean, she was a cheerleader and drove a Porsche, but holy crap this is the funniest blog and man can she write. Last few times I've seen her, I was all like, "Dude, I'm older now, and I'm cool like you, too, and you're dang funny and STILL gorgeous". I almost still feel shy around her. I guess we always remain teenagers to some degree. Anyhow, she had me lol'ing with some of her observations.
• My friend Anne, she's so kick ass, and has been a lifesaver for me on my return to Texas. I'm taking her to see Gary Numan tonight.
• I should repeat, I AM SEEING GARY NUMAN TONIGHT. I have wanted to see him live for YEARS, and all that time in Norway I never managed to make it to London for one of his gigs, and then, bang, here he is in Houston, in conjunction with SXSW. Yeah, I'm psyched.
• (Girl Moment) WHAT WILL I WEAR????
• My car. I still love my car. I am going to do some racing soon, at Texas World Speedway. Well, first some classes, THEN some racing. Best if you stay away from College Station in April.
• I'm going to London next week. Yippee! Booked myself into a posh hotel (they had a pay 2 nights get 3 deal) and then a week of work meetings and then a weekend with my favorite youngest cousin (as opposed to my favorite older cousins) Vard in Winchester.
• Strange to say, going back to Europe/UK feels as if I am getting an escape card back to civilization. Texas has been a bit hard on me lately, what with the ridiculous political ads on TV and the never ending far right rhetoric. I need a break.
• I'm working out again, doing the weights, it's been hard getting back into it, but I have put on a few of the many pounds I lost and I'll be damned if I am going to buy MORE new clothes for yet another change in ass size, so nipping that in the bud (butt) and getting back on the weights.
• That being said, ouch. I worked hard on shoulders and legs yesterday.
• I got my hairs did. Cut off, to the shoulder, and blonded. I rather love it, though it is a big change, though as I work with mostly men, NO ONE  has said anything. Hmph. Men.
• Rich is back in the US, back in Texas. Already has a job, a car and of course, the house and me. Living with someone again after 14 months of being alone is a bit strange, and we are having to adjust, but well, we neither of us are perfect (though at least I don't snore like  a warthog)(love you dear) so we will figure it out.
• And repeat of above: WHAT WILL I WEAR TONIGHT????!!!!

my new favorite dish

IMG_00000419.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Shrimp N grits. Yummy.

walls covered in dollar bills

IMG_00000406.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Johnson creek tavern, St Helena island