Tales of a Texpatriate

good sunday

2012-01-29T16:32:00.004+01:00

Today is turning out pretty good.

Woke up late, lazed in bed.

Watched an episode of True Blood, season 4, which I was given by a coworker. It's full of truly smoking, hot, gorgeous, TALL naked men, so I fully approve of this season. It's like porn for Karla, basically. Me likey. My goth side REALLY likey. Mmmm....

After watching that episode, I got out of bed, threw some chicken, onions, garlic and green tomatillo salsa in the slow cooker, and started cooking dinner. I love the slow cooker, you just stir every few hours and go about your day, and in 8 hours, voila! Dinner!

Went to the gym. Had a good workout, my legs will kill me tomorrow. My arms are still shaky.

Come back, checked on dinner, wow, look at me slave over a hot stove, not.

Am now watching more eps of True Blood, while drinking my new favorite drink, Riondo pink prosecco. ohmyfuckinggod is that stuff good.

Later, after dinner (see above re: slaving, etc) I will have a nice hot bath, more prosecco, and then a good night's sleep.

I rather like today. (Though I didn't do the one thing I needed to do, which is clean some shit up around here, but, eh, it will wait, it always does.) Now if you will excuse me, I think Eric Northman is about to get naked again, I don't want to miss that.

PS Holy shit, just noticed I haven't posted in 2 weeks? Really? Sorry about that, truly. I had no idea my frequency of posting has dropped that much. I will try to be better. I always mean to post, but usually at the end of the day I am so sick of computers, the last thing I want to do is be on one some more. I'll try to post more, sorry about that! (If anyone is left reading, that is....)

While I wait for my bath to fill up, a bullet post

2012-01-15T19:34:00.003+01:00

I totally don't get the Tim Tebow thing, and I never will.
This is because, mainly, that I am not a football fan.
Never have been.
Yes, I know this is heresy for a Texan.
Bite me.
Anyhow, I don't get why this guy is being so lauded for his religious zealotry.
I wonder if people would admire him as much if he were Muslim or Buddhist.
Heh, I bet not.
I get restless this time of year.
Something about the cold, and the light starting to rebuild, and me being stuck inside.
(Funny, I talked to my mom yesterday, like I do every Saturday, and she gets like this too. Is it genetic?)
It usually means I clean stuff and throw shit out.
Today I hit my bathroom, got rid of old vitamins, hair products, etc.
And cleaned every shelf in there.
I also vacuumed, mopped the whole apartment, and completely cleaned the kitchen top to bottom.
I had no idea that the kitchen fan filter could get THAT disgusting.
Note to self, clean that sucker way more often.
Then I was still hyper (listening to music does that to me) so I worked out.
Just a small workout on my mini trampoline, with weights and stuff.
(I hate doing squats, but they are mighty effective!)
Not as big a workout as at the gym, but I could still watch the Las Vegas Pawn Stars at the same time.
I love that show.
I need to buy heavier hand weights.
Rich made dinner.
He's got the potential to be a good cook, he just needs to learn those little tricks of the trade, like what you can substitute for other stuff and that you can tweak a recipe to suit.
So he made a very good chicken pot pie.
I was impressed.
I'm also full.
Burp.
Back to work tomorrow.
Oh lord this time of year is hard.
No time off any time soon and just one slog after another.
I do have a little break coming up soon in London, though.
Yippee!
Oh, and just because I could: I bought a US size 10 leather dress the other day. SIZE FREAKING 10! it fit!
Squeee!

my pants

2012-01-05T14:21:00.004+01:00

IMG-20120105-01048.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

My pants have this vaguely Asian language print on them. I've had them for years. I rarely wear them because, once, I wore them when I was at Epcot on a vacation and people (mostly Asians) kept staring at me. And staring. And staring. I don't generally like having my ass stared at in the best of times, so of course t his started to wig me out.

I got totally paranoid, then, because I realized, these pants could be a total billboard of stupidity. Like, the fabric designer could have written all over the fabric (and hence my ass) things like "The person wearing these pants is an idiot!" or "This is the biggest ass in the world!" "I am fat and ugly and my butthole smells funny!" and I'd totally be walking around oblivious to the fact that my pants are a giant joke perpetrated by some clever and cruel fabric designer.

Think about it. It could happen.

So, even though I love these pants, they fit like the bomb and they are red and black, which I love, I rarely wear them because i am really jsut too worried about what they might say.

Yeah, first world problem or what?

IN which I am addicted to Downton Abbey

2011-12-30T09:05:00.002+01:00

I've got Downton Abbey on DVD, seasons 1 and 2, that I got in London. I just rewatched season 1, and will hunker down and see season 2 this weekend.

I saw this spoof of it on You Tube, from the BBC, that was so funny it actually made me snort my morning coffee out of my nose. That is rare, as I generally don't laugh before 9am, because i don't like mornings.

If this doesn't make you snort, you may not read my blog anymore. I especially lost it when they introduced O'Brien, about halfway through, when the servants were standing out side the house greeting the guests. BWAH HAHAHA! (Then Carson burped.) (Carson in this case reminds me of my friend Grant.)

HAHAHAHA!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T15:28:00.002+01:00

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
If your particular Christmas doesn't look like this (and very few do, this is old town Tallin, Estonia, from a trip we took in 2009) I hope you are drunk enough, warm enough and happy enough not to care. I know I am!
Love, and thanks for visiting, Karla

flower FAIL

2011-12-24T15:20:00.000+01:00

This is what I ordered from 1-800-Flowers for my mom for Christmas. A little spot of color and brightness to liven up winter, which can be dreary, as we all know. A bouquet called "Field of Europe". Colorful, bright, with lilies and gerber daisies and roses. (Note the lack of carnations.)

This is what she got. Some crappy white roses, carnations (I HATE carnations, HATE them!) and baby's breath. WHAT THE FRIGGETY FUCK? How did Fields of Europe become a Load of Crap?

I called 1800 Flowers and was all, "WTF?" They said the local florist is the one who makes the bouquets, and so they will let them know I am not happy. I'm thinking, if the local florist can't offer what is pictured, then maybe they should not offer to be a part of the 1800Flowers website. To the website's credit, they are going to redeliver what I ordered, and they gave me a 50% refund.

Now, my parents DO live in the middle of nowhere. I totally get that. But if a local florist says they can do whatever the website offers (and let's face it, these are not exactly exotic flowers that are offered) they better damn well do what they say they will do and not try to sneak something by me, and the customers of the website. I mean, wow. How shitty is that?

Oslo party remnants

2011-12-22T09:26:00.002+01:00

IMG-20111222-01039.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Oslo morning after. I found this bottle exactly as pictured. Someone is regretting drinking that!

My manky mink

2011-12-20T18:57:00.003+01:00

It gets cold in Norway.

I mean, yeah, I know people know that, but damn, it gets COLD in Norway. And sometimes my goosedown duffle coat just doesn't quite cut it. Sometimes, you need to go old skool.

So I finally gave in and went Russian style and bought a mink coat. (Russians know cold, and they know how to keep warm, too.)

Now, before you PETA types come screaming at me, listen up.

I don't buy new fur, and I don't think I ever would. (I do have my grandmother's old sable muff, and a fur stole that I bought from a vintage fur stand on Portobello road.) Not when there is so much awesome vintage fur around. Seriously, grannies die, and they leave all these fur coats around, and who am I to say no to a coat that is not only cheaper than any new run of the mill cloth coat, but actually, really, truly, no shit, keeps you warm? I think of it as haut recycling.

So, yes, I bought an old, second hand, used as shit mink coat. I got it at a Salvation Army type place in Oslo called UFF. As in, Uffda! I bought a mink! Well, actually, I made Rich buy it, though I picked it out, so that he could say, in all honestly, that he bought me a mink coat.

I kind of think the used mink might be the best thing I have ever gotten. It's warm. It's soft. It's oddly flattering. It's comfortable. It does glorious things for my 40+ year old skin. I can insouciantly toss it on over any old thing and I truly do feel glamourous. It cost about 7% of what a new mink cost, and it cost less than a new coat costs. It's real honest to God recycling, and I wonder who owned it before me.

I love love love love love it. Even if I do look a bit like a little teddy bear in it. It has no shape, it's just a fur barrel of warmth. There's sort of an ageist thing around here that only older ladies wear minks. I am still a bit young to be sporting the fur, ok, to be honest, right on the edge, but shit, I got tired of being cold and wanted something I could throw on and guarantee that I would not be cold. I figure, I am tall enough, perhaps hip enough, and young enough to carry it off ironically, especially since my hair is still long and wild and not short and 'set' like the older ladies. Plus I wear it with Frye biker boots. Old ladies don't wear Frye biker boots, do they?

I had a Russian friend of mine at work check it out. She expertly crinkled it up in one hand (it's not dried out, that's good), checked the fur for cracks (none), checked the weight (light and lofty, good quality), looked for shedding (none) and checked the shine and smell (all good). She said I got a good deal and that it is a high quality old mink.

All I can say is, this coat is the most practical thing I could have bought in Norway. It's warm, it's pretty and it's comfortable.

So here's me, wearing a mink. Ironically, yet practically. I feel glamorous in it. I like to toss it on the sofa at work, where it sits, like an uber-luxurious throw, and it shines in the dark Norwegian winter light. I totally get the appeal.

But, like i said, I wouldn't buy new. I like the old. It suits me.

I got the butter hook up.

2011-12-17T19:53:00.002+01:00

IMG-20111217-01033.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Busy busy. Thanks to two friends who gave me some black market Swedish butter, I've been able to be somewhat profligate and used a pound of butter to bake today. How decadent! Chocolate chip cookies complete, next up oatmeal raisin. Smells like the holidays up in here. Thanks, Sweden for filling in the holes left by the Norwegian dairy monopoly Tine and overly protective tariffs.

I have GOT to hit the gym tomorrow to make up for all the cookie dough I just ate.

Not dead, just hella busy.

2011-12-14T20:23:00.003+01:00

Hit the ground running after my trip home and have not had time to come up for breath yet. I convinced Rich that he would be a better Christmas tree elf than me this year, so he has been slow and steady getting some Christmas sparkle into the house.

He's rather a large elf, but useful for things like tree toppers and garland in high places.....

2011-12-06T19:37:00.001+01:00

Grrr......

This really pisses me off.(The "grr" is a link, btw.)

Awaiting my flight

2011-11-30T22:12:00.002+01:00

Awaiting my flight, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

In BA business lounge. The next 11 hours will be spent with these 2 things.

quickie

2011-11-30T05:21:00.002+01:00

I'm freaking exhausted. Drove straight from Missouri to Houston in one shot, with only some delays in Dallas. It was fun, actually, when I get into road trip mode I can go and go and go, but once I stop that's it, I'm swaying from exhaustion, kind of like I am now.

I'm at a La Quinta in Houston, a rather odd place with a tiny little desk clerk straight out of Of Mice and Men. When I arrived I caught him watching the Victoria's Secret 'Fashion' Show, ('fashion' being surrounded by ironic finger quotes, cuz that ain't fashion, it's just T&A). Kind of funny. I hope the door locks are secure, though. And that there aren't any little secret cameras in this room. Yoiks. yeah, he kind of reminds me of one of those kind of guys. I'll change clothes in the closet.

I always wonder what would happen if I got stopped by a cop on the road trips I take when I come home, as I routinely go at least 85 mph and this time I really pushed it. I have my Norwegian driver's license, I kind of want to see what they would do if they did stop me and that's what I gave them. But it hasn't happened in 9 years of me having it. Hmm. Maybe it's a magic bullet of anti-cop-stoppingness? I really liked my rental car this time around, a VW CC Turbo. Fun and it has this crazy gearbox that can be manual (without clutch, but you do shift) or automatic. It could be the ultimate compromise between my lust for sporty cars and Rich's desire for lazy marshmallow automatics.

I could see the Milky Way from the windshield as I drove, singing along to Lyle Lovett, it was that dark on the road from Dallas to Houston. Fuck, I'm gonna miss me some Texas!

Note to former Houstonites: Dave Ward is still the news anchor on Eyewitness News 13! He looks totally ancient, but it's the same guy! He's been the news guy since I was a kid. (Marvin Zindler died, though, right?)

Scenes from a walk in the woods (Ozarks)

2011-11-29T00:34:00.003+01:00

Went on a walk in the woods today, on a cold Fall day. I'm heading back to Norway this week, though it's actually colder here in MO than it is in NO right now. This is all on my parents' property, in a place that is literally almost named Bumfuck. Still, Bumfuck is really pretty. The dog is also theirs, one of three, though one is pretty old and I think he won't be around much longer. Teufel, you're a good ol' boy.

Argh, I don't want to do the flight back. Such a pain in the ass. Sigh. Can't I just stay here, in the bosom of my family, I get wine in the evenings with Mom, and we giggle a bit, and today Dad gave me all the stuff he has on the family history, which was interesting to read. (Interesting factoid I found out, whether it's true or not I don't know, but apparently my German grandmother's (Mom's mom) governess was one of Franz Kafka's sisters. This would've been in the teens/twenties, in the part of Germany that became east Germany before the war. I'm not sure which sister, but Mom thinks it was Elli, the eldest.)

I don't WANNA go....

Road trip, somewhere in Oklahoma

2011-11-22T20:27:00.002+01:00

221120113352.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

85 miles per hour for 750 miles. (Ok, I went slower a few times.)

Why America has a weight problem

2011-11-22T00:54:00.001+01:00

Why America has a weight problem, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

This is a bucket they sell at a convenience store for people to fill with Coke. Seriously.

Enchanted

2011-11-20T22:26:00.001+01:00

Enchanted, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

On top of Enchanted Rock!

East Austin art tour

2011-11-19T21:50:00.001+01:00

East Austin art tour, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

My kinda art!

God bless Texas

2011-11-19T20:38:00.001+01:00

God bless Texas, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

No fucking BUTTER?

2011-11-19T16:20:00.003+01:00

See what I mean about Norwegian grocery stores and the state of gorcery selection? I mean, What the fuck?

Can't I just stay here? There's butter everywhere! Do I have to bring that back to Norway with me?

The post about the shopping

2011-11-18T16:34:00.002+01:00

While I'm on a blogging roll....

So usually when I am in the States I go on a whirlwind shopping extravaganza. I pretty much buy anything that hits my fancy because it is all SO much cheaper here than in Norway, better quality, better fit and, well, honestly, also, because I can. I feel pretty rich here, when you compare exchange rates and so on. I routinely save 50% and more on every purchase, just by virtue of buying it here.

So, why am I just not feeling the shopping urge this time around?

Don't get me wrong, I HAVE bought some stuff. Got a great deal at Furla on a bag or 2, I finally bought my Frye leather motorcycle harness boots I have ALWAYS wanted, I bought this dress
that I saw online months ago and found on sale and it's GORGEOUS on, so that was exciting. I got a few things at J Crew. Got some workout clothes at Target I promised myself, to help me get motivated for more workouts when I get back to Norway. Got my hairs did, went to the dentist, running those personal errands you have to do when you come home, taking care of bidness all around. It has been nice being a bit lighter, things are fitting so much better and HELLO size 10 pencil skirts, how well you fit! That has all been nice.

But....I think I'm done. I don't have the urgent sense of 'must buy it all now because if I don't I can't'. I don't feel it this go round.

I just want to go hang out at Town Lake, or go to a coffee shop. I just wanna walk around the neighborhood and look at all the lovely houses. I don't want to pressure myself to go anywhere or be anywhere. (Maybe I am getting seriously ill, I mean, I don't even want to go to the OUTLETS this time, so I am not!) This morning I am having a lazy morning in my little Hyde Park pied a terre I rented for the week, though I guess I should get motivated soon and take my shower. I have had a real hard time sleeping for some reason, though I am very comfortable here, and have been waking up every morning by 6 or 7, which is not something I want to do when I am on holiday!

The only stuff I want to buy is the stuff I can't, like ALL the groceries at Central Market and those yummy frozen Chinese dumplings that you steam at home and that I miss so much. And there are so many good smelling hand soaps and shower gels and things, I am such a whore for the good smellies, it's probably better that I can't bring those things back, I'd be buying dozens of bottles of potions, lotions, soaps and gels.

Well, right now I will just carry on with drinking my 'taste of Austin' coffee (they say it's got hints of cinnamon and vanilla, I'm getting hipster irony and boot sweat) and enjoy being lazy in my little Austin aerie.

Oh the grocery stores!!!!

2011-11-18T16:07:00.003+01:00

I know I say this every time I come back to Austin, but damn, man, I need to come home.

Yesterday I was wandering around the HEB grocery store, and I swear I felt like a country bumpkin in the big city. My US friends just don't GET the soul sucking standard of shittiness that is your average grocery store in Norway. (Even the Norwegians agree that the grocery store situation is pretty crap.) I mean, even the fancy big stores, like Centra in Majorstuen, it's less than 1/5th the size of HEB and the selection is just sad, comparatively. (OK, perhaps in seafood it might be better, but only in certain things.)

A kilo of fresh boneless chicken tenders at HEB, cost $8 (45nok). I pay at least three times that for chicken breasts in Oslo. A pound of the biggest most delectable fresh large Gulf Shrimp, $6.79 (37nok) on special (I took a picture, the counter guy was all "Can I help you?" and I was all "No, *sigh*".) I pay 99-120 nok for 400 g of frozen ones.

I wandered around and looked at all the lovely sushi and dumplings (I love Chinese dumplings) and the HUGE selection of meats and cheeses and the lovely fresh vegetables and the organic vs non-organic choices and the coffee and the WINE IN THE GROCERY STORE ( I found the yummiest Malbec rosé, $11 a bottle) and just wondered why is it so impossible to have something like this in Norway, the richest country in the world? WHY?

And then people would just come talk to me, and they are all so nice and outgoing and will complement you on your shoes or on your pants without any guile, just because, hey, they LIKE your shoes and want to TELL you about it. I feel a part of this community, we are all chatty and friendly and shit, it's nice. Nobody shoving, nobody giving you rude looks, everybody making way and being polite to strangers. Wow, what a concept.

I find myself in a velvet trap. I love my job in Norway, I love my coworkers, and I know I will never have another confluence of job awesomeness like this again, where I am well paid for a job I love with people that I highly esteem. Also, the security of the health benefits in Norway is really very important and reassuring, yes, national healthcare is a GOOD THING). But when I come home to the place of my heart, and see what I am missing out on (and it's not just the material stuff, it's also my friend's lives and their kids and knowing I am not there for some big milestones and the day to day stuff that cements your lifelong friendships) I do wonder how much longer I can stay away.

I really do.

Breakfast tacos

2011-11-17T17:32:00.001+01:00

Breakfast tacos, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Breakfast of Austin!

I've been saying this all along, but never thought of putting it into bumper sticker form

2011-11-16T05:21:00.001+01:00

This was on the back of a tough little Toyota truck. I NEED to meet this person.

I am that powerful (karma is a bitch)

2011-11-15T23:30:00.002+01:00

So you may or may not know, but I am in Austin. Austin has had a severe drought for a year now. So of course, I figured I'd be totally set for sun and fun and tan-getting, right?

Yes, but this is me we are talking about, so of course today it BUCKETED down rain, just poured it down. Now, I am not complaining, really, as I know how much they need is here, but I mean, really? There were 365 other days it could have rained, 52 other weeks it could have rained, and it has to pick one that I am here and I want to be in the sun. Obviously, I brought the rain with me, I mean, I kept trying to send it from Oslo and that didn't work, so I had to physically bring it in my suitcase and let it out on arrival, for it to build itself back up and drench Austin.

So, you're welcome. Well, mostly, because after I got drenched the 4th time running to my car, I finally broke down and bought an umbrella...and the rain stopped immediately. I gorgot about that quirk in my powers.

My superpower? Control over the sky by the mere expedient of buying (or not) an umbrella.

Also, in other news, I have eaten nothing but tacos since I got to Texas. It's been AWESOME.

Yes

2011-11-14T18:56:00.001+01:00

Yes, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

S Austin Breakfast

2011-11-14T15:12:00.001+01:00

S Austin Breakfast, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Jet lag has me in its restless grip. Up early so headed to Jo's for a mocha and an Elgin sausage roll. Good morning home of my heart!

It made me buy it.

2011-11-14T03:58:00.001+01:00

It made me buy it., a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

rugby surround.jpg.jpg

2011-11-12T04:34:00.000+01:00

rugby surround.jpg.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Holy crap I've been surrounded by an entire rugby team at Heathrow airport. Have i died and gone to heaven? Sorry if the pic is sideways my phone won't save it the right way. But i wanted to show you my incredible good fortune! Rugby players! Like 20! In uniform! Swoon!!!!!! (Um, hi Rich. Im just looking. :)

oslo night out

2011-11-04T23:54:00.002+01:00

IMG-20111104-00990.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Oslo at night. Window of a head shop. Rock n Roll, bitches, Rock n Roll.

suck

2011-10-30T18:34:00.002+01:00

I did Zumba for the first time today. It was spur of the moment, I went to the gym to lift weights, saw there was a Zumba class, and thought, "eh, what the fuck". So I lifted for a half hour and then went to boogie gym style.

It was fun! I mean, don't get me wrong, I sucked and I sucked hard, but some of my old aerobics class training came back, and many of the moves were very aerobic-y, so I just did those and added some ass shaking and it seemed to go ok. I'm still that slow, uncoordinated white girl in the back of the class, going the wrong way. You know the teacher goes left and I go right? yeah, that's me. But I didn't really care, it was fun, the music wasn't bad (a big deal for me, I can't dance of the music sucks) and I kind of got lost in just trying to follow along.

The best part was, either I really AM in better shape, or the class was easy, but I could totally keep up. I had energy, I could do it, there was even some hopping around and stuff, and I totally (but sweatily) could keep up. So I was happy with that. I did sort of realize, mid stream, that my 15 year old sports bra should be replaced, as there was some uncomfortable bouncing and jiggling going on. Also, shit, how the hell did my sports bra get to be 15 years old? Well, anyhow, I'll be hitting Target pretty hard when I am in the US next month. I do love their sports clothes.

I missed my friend Margaret in the class, we used to go to aerobics and step classes together back in Austin, and it was fun having a compatriot in suck. I mean, we'd both routinely fall off the step, but it was ok! We were together! We sucked equally! We would have laughed our asses off in this class, as we smacked into each other when one of us went the wrong way.

Well, just shake your booty and fake it. Teacher likes that. Actually, I wish I could use that at work. I'm totally sucking ass, fucking up all over the place, but I just shake my booty and all is well.

Sigh.

While the potatoes roast

2011-10-27T18:39:00.002+02:00

I'm hard at work cooking. I wanted to show Rich how tough it really is to make the yummy roasted potatoes. So I threw them (little baby amandine potatoes) into a casserole, tossed them in olive oil and sprinkled liberally with sea salt and pepper. Put in oven at 220C. He's all, that's it? And I'm all, yep.

So yeah, while I slave, what else is up.

Not much. Work has been up and down, hectic and quiet, in phases. I prefer hectic. I finished a project today that I have been working on for 5 months. Not that it has been 5 months of work, but more that I have been waiting for deliveries, logistics, timing and so on, that took what should have been fairly quick project into a 5 month monster. But now it's done and working and I am quite proud of the result.

I had my personal trainer appointment today, and afterwards I was so worn out I almost fell down some stairs when my legs were like, "WTF? I still need to carry your ass?" I also boxed for the first time today. I *liked* it. I liked it alot. What a great way to work off some steam. I put the face of some folks that annoy me on those pads the trainer held and went to town. SWEET.

Any surprise I don't punch like a girl? I think I did ok, though was surprised that it hurt my wrists. I didn't expect that! I am loving the results, though, I must say. I feel so powerful, somehow. I hope I can keep up the momentum, though the way it makes me feel is addictive and I get a bit jittery if I don't get a workout in a few times a week now.

I'm gonna go home to the States for Thanksgiving, so am planning for that. I already did my big Missoni for Target order when that whole thing happened and managed to get quite a bit of the collection. Looking forward to seeing it, it's with my parents right now. Need to do my big Amazon order (True Blood, Californication, etc etc.), and then I think I am done with online ordering. I am looking forward to shopping in person now that things are going to fit me better. Ann Taylor has some nice stuff lately, their pants fit me really well last time I shopped there, so will give them a go again for a power suit or two. Last Call and the outlets beckon as well. I think it will be somewhat warm in Austin so I might be able to have some sun time at Barton Springs or somewhere equally sunny and water oriented. I've got some nice one-on-one time planned with some good friends and will let the rest of the time fall as it may.

I'm just looking forward to sun and warmth and good Austin hospitality. Whatever else happens is gravy.....

Lazy Sunday recap

2011-10-23T11:50:00.005+02:00

Ok, I admit it, I'm procrastinating.

I've been procrastinating on blogging, and you know you are REALLY procrastinating when the thing you are putting off (the blogging) becomes the thing you use to put off something else (going to the gym today). I've promised myself Sunday afternoon gym time, but dammit I don't feel like it today. I still hurt from my session with my personal trainer on Thursday (yes, I've hired a PT for 6 sessions to see how I like it) and I'm crampy too. (TMI? who cares.) But I WILL go, even if I procrastinate with a blog post (and then breakfast) first.

I was procrastinating over blogging because holy hell, so much to say.

The trip to Berlin was awesome. Laid back, no pressure to see everything as I've already been there a few times, and easygoing. I went with Rich, Grant and Keith, so me and three boys. I just checked out some museums, did some shopping (but oddly didn't feel like buying anything, so I think I may have turned that corner of "I have it all" now), did some walking, checked out some of the great street markets there. There are few things I like better than a street market. Berlin has some GREAT ones. I love trolling and exploring and checking out all sorts of wierd old things I've never seen before.

I bought a little painting, a still life, that just called to me. (Picture below, scroll down.) It's just some eggs, limes and a glowing green marble on a table, with a little vase in the background, but I like it. Rich calls it a 'pub painting' which kind of pisses me off, but yeah, it could be one of those old pictures that has been hanging on a pub wall forever. Who knows. I just like it.

Of course, the market I got it at was right outside the portrait museum I was planning on visiting. I learned, the hard way, that it is a bit awkward to bring a painting *into* an art museum. It just doesn't look right, you know? Everyone's all like, "Um, where'd you get that and where are you going with it?" So I checked it in at coat check, which was also kind of awkward, as no one knew what to do with it. They asked me if it was valuable, the painting, at which point I laughed and told them I'd just bought it at the flea market outside. So, um, no. Anyhow, laughter ensued, I, as usual, was that odd American, but yeah, lesson learned. Don't bring art into an art museum.

The first night in Berlin I escaped all the boys I was traveling with and met up with fellow expat blogger Adam, he of TQE, for a nice evening out. He took me to a place called Perlin, this awesome wine bar/cafe that works on the honor system. You rent a wine glass for a Euro, then serve yourself all the wine you want from a selection at the bar. You settle down for a nice chat in the small but comfortable surroundings, and then they offer you the meal o' the day, which you accept or not. We accepted and it was a good salad with cucumbers and pomegranate seeds, and a very tasty goulash. At the end of it, you pay what you think it's worth. No pressure. How cool is that? So Adam and I had a good time talking and chatting, eating good food, drinking good wines, and sharing experiences from our expat existences. He's a cool guy. It was a fun night, and we both agreed that our time at Perlin was a 25 Euro experience....(each). Thanks for a great night, Adam!

A couple nights later, I made the boys I traveled with civilize themselves for a nice dinner at a place called Rheinhard's in the Nicolaiverteil in Berlin. I think it might be a chain restaurant, but the food is good, the service is FIRST RATE and I like the atmosphere. So we had a lovely meal served by an AWESOME waitress named Claudia, who I instantly liked and clicked with. She was great. (The boys were all teasing me, "You've pulled, mate, you've pulled." Hey, what can I say, chemistry is chemistry.)

Rich and I stayed at a hotel called Askanischer Hof. I'm breaking a rule by telling the name of the hotel, I tend to keep that to myself so that if I stay there again, people don't know where I am, but hell, man, this place is awesome and deserves the accolades.

Decorated all in antiques and funky stuff from the turn of the century to the 40's, with an elaborate brocade furnished breakfast room and an atmosphere of louché (my new favorite word is louché, along with roué) Cabaret glamour from old Weimar, it's comfortable, cozy and fab all at the same time. Service was great, they wrapped up my odd little painting in bubble wrap for the flight without my asking them to. (Which was great, as I was worried about how to get it home!) Our room, though it faced the busy Ku'Damm shopping street, was dead quiet and had an extra set of pocket doors inside the entry door to completely close off the room for quiet and privacy. The ceilings are probably 11 feet. So cool. It's classified as a three star, but for my purposes it's 5 star all the way.

OK, enough of that. So now I am going to go cook my (low carb) eggs for breakfast and then go *&^%ing work out. (yes, still working on the weight loss and the getting in better shape. There's muscles and shit happening, yo.) I posted some pictures, below, from our first trip to Berlin in 2006, as I didn't bring a camera this time, but at least you get the idea.)

Having fun in Potsdam.

Nearby Hakescher Hofe, obeying the signs. (I never did get any instructions, btw.)

At Charlottenburg. This is one of my favorite pictures.

They have such lovely train stations in Berlin.

best hotel room ever

2011-10-19T19:16:00.001+02:00

best hotel room ever.jpg.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

This was a great hotel. Loved the room, loved the service, loved the atmosphere. Second time i've stayed there, both times were great.

what a good bar feels like.jpg

2011-10-16T20:03:00.001+02:00

what a good bar feels like.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

I love a good dive bar. This one is particularly good.

still life i bought.jpg

2011-10-16T14:47:00.001+02:00

still life i bought.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

I just bought this at a flea market. I really heart it. Something about the rounded shapes and the colors appeals. Plus I have a thing for still lifes. So, this is my 50 euro German art purchase.

pergamon.jpg

2011-10-16T13:07:00.001+02:00

pergamon.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

Pergamon museum.

World's biggest dumbass

2011-10-10T17:46:00.002+02:00

I think I deleted my comments app thingy. I kind of hate it, but I didn't mean to actually delete it!

Shit. Now I have to find it and re-install it.....

SHIT!
__________________________

Follow up:
Hmm. Seems as though the blogger commenting saved some of it. All the ones before 2010 are gone, though. Honestly, I think it might be easier to just carry on with blogger and get rid of the former Halo/Echo/JS-Kit whatever the hell it was. I really did hate it and only kept it to keep my 7 years of comments. If they are gone, now, no point in staying with a system I hate.

Apologies to all my commenters prior to 2010.....not that you probably care!

results?

2011-10-09T16:53:00.002+02:00

IMG-20111009-00858.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Is it just me or is this the start of a six pack. Right? It IS there isn't it?

Also, nice shot of my Blackberry, isn't it? Really hard to take a picture of yourself in a mirror.

Kicking it up a notch

2011-10-06T22:33:00.003+02:00

So I took on a personal trainer today.

Judging by the exercises he had me do today (something with ropes, then something with my feet on a big ball while I kept my hips in the air and tensed by ass muscles, then something called kettle bells where I had to sort of swing the ball thingy and thrust my ass forward (gosh, I hardly KNOW you!), hanging from strappy things with stirrups and arm straps and so on) I had a very hard time not making jokes about how it all reminded me of the episode of Sex & the City when Samantha experimented with a sex swing. I kept getting mental images of everyone in that gym hanging upside down and nekkid as jaybirds. I managed not to make the joke, as, poor kid, he just met me. I've learned that the average younger Norwegian needs time to get used to me. I'm like a fine wine or scotch....it takes time to fully appreciate all my flavors and nuances.

This is obviously not conducive to a serious workout. And my trainer has NO idea what he is up against with me. He is a sweet, blonde, sculpted, eager trainer trying to build up his clientele (and his English, he wants to move to Australia, of course he does, sweet dear, they all do). I am a 43 year old, possibly *slightly* jaded, possibly slightly scary Texan gal with a wicked naughty sense of humor, a ready quip, a sardonic grin and a tendency to not take things very seriously. However, I also have an ass that I want to shrink, so if he wants me to hang upside down from those ropes, holding a ball of some sort, while singing "Alt for Norge" in my best operatic voice and flexing my abs, I will do so.

I'm certainly paying him enough for the privilege of him putting me in strange positions. But I've gotten far enough in my workout routine now that I need to shake it up a bit. I've already gotten complacent and it's time to push it farther....

Poor kid. Wish him luck.

random photos of me day

2011-10-02T13:20:00.003+02:00

That's me and my friend Keith on his birthday a few years ago. A VERY rare picture of me un-posed and unaware of the camera. I am one of those unfortunate people for whom being photographed does not come naturally and I always pose. (And not well. Completely ruined my modeling career. "You could do runway", they said. Bah humbug.) Keith is also one of those also, well known for his 'blue steel'. So I have always loved this photo as Keith's wife managed to get both of us posers at a non-posed moment of joy.

Me in 2001 on a hike in New Mexico. I was in the best shape of my life. I'm just about back to it now, I think. I think I could kick that hike's ass once again.

Me singing karaoke in Austin. Quite sure I am the only woman you've ever heard of who sings Joan Jett's "Do You Wanna Touch" in cashmere, leather, Prada and pearls. (Thanks to Raf for the photo.)

psych!

2011-10-01T20:39:00.002+02:00

It didn't get up to 70 today. The weather forecasters all over Southern Norway are hiding under their beds, quivering, as there are a lot of angry people right now saying, "WTF? You assholes promised us a gorgeous sunny day! Get the tazers!"

Nope. We had wet chilly mist and not a lick of sun.

Effing weather forecasters.

Meh.

rare

2011-09-30T23:32:00.002+02:00

It got up to 70F in Oslo today.

On September 30th. I wore sandals and a sleeveless top today. On SEPTEMBER 30TH.

That's freaky warm for here.

Supposed to be really nice tomorrow, too. Supposedly it got up to 80 in London today. Maybe I should head over there. That extra 10 degrees sounds nice. We didn't really get a good summer here, so I guess this is our payback for the crappy rainy summer we DID have. An Indian summer.

Last year I remember September was really cold, unseasonably cold and early. In our building we have shared heat, so the rule is that the heat comes on in October and gets turned off end April. They took pity on us last year and turned the heat on in mid-September, it was too cold to try to make it to October. We had frost on the inside of the windows. This year we seem to be ok, we'll make it into October fine. This last gasp of summer is a wonderful gift.

I had a nice after work happy hour enjoying the sun with some girlfriends and then (after 5 hours of drinking) headed home in time to catch "Diamonds Are Forever" on tv. Just as wonderfully cheesy as I remember. Jill St John was not exactly the Meryl Streep of her time, was she?

texpatriate approved

2011-09-29T18:22:00.002+02:00

IMG-20110929-00815.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Now THIS is what rain boots should look like. Just got them today, sent on from the States by my mom.

Fall is coming

2011-09-29T10:24:00.003+02:00

It's a beautiful sunny day. We are having an Indian summer, so the weather people tell us. It will be almost 70 degrees in the next couple of days.

But it won't last.

The days are already shorter. Mornings are colder. And darker. I am already feeling that Fall lethargy. I can't get up, I'm tired all day, and my energy levels are shite. I'm forcing myself to work out, to walk, to move, to stay out of bed.

I rode my bike to work today. It's probably one of the last days I will be able to do so. Once it gets icy, once the leaves are too thick on the ground, I don't ride my bike because let's face it, I'm a klutz and the likelihood of me falling off the bike due to slippery leaves or ice is fairly high. So I am enjoying it while I can. Riding my bike makes me feel like a kid, like I am flying, I truly love everything about it (except, maybe, some of the hills I have to go up.) I will miss my bike when I have to park it for the winter. I will miss that little energy rush I get as I fly down the hill through the crisp morning air to work. I bust in to the office lobby with pink cheeks, hair crackling with static, elevated heart rate, faster breath....I feel alive.

When winter comes I will walk when I can or take the bus. The bus saps my energy, I don't like it. Cranky people packed like sardines into jerky busses, no one being particularly polite or pleasant. We are all resigned to the fact that we are cattle on the way to the slaughter that is the daily grind of work. Oddly enough, I like my job, but that damned bus ride just feels so bleak. I think I might try to shake it up by bringing my iPod and listening to comedians en route. I can bust out laughing to the raunchy comedic stylings of Patton Oswalt, Bill Hicks, Louis CK and Craig Ferguson. I can be a ray of slightly mad sunshine in an otherwise humorless world.

Or maybe I am just that crazy red headed lady with the wierd glasses on the #20 bus laughing at nothing. I'm kind of ok with that.

It's all kind of wierd right now

2011-09-25T11:40:00.004+02:00

Last night was just a wierd night.

Rich came home drunk and lordly, so sleep was rather fitful due to snoring and general noisy-man-in-bed issues. (Honestly, the only orifice he was not making noise out of was his ears.) I was tossing and turning, tired but somehow wired, and just could not sleep.

And that's when I saw it.

The cat in our bedroom window. INSIDE.

Granted, I didn't have my glasses on, but I know a cat shape when I see one, and that was a cat, and it jumped down from the windowsill and then just....disappeared.

I would like to mention, we live on the third floor. I would also like to mention, we do not have a cat. (There has been some scaffolding outside our kitchen window, so it could, ostensibly, have come in through the cracked kitchen window, but I would have heard that with all the glass and tchotchkes on the windowsill. Even so, that is one AGILE cat.)

So the cat disappears, I jump up and am all like, "THERE IS A CAT IN OUR FLAT!" which made me giggle as it was very Dr Seuss like, in a grown up, urban sort of way.

Rich staggers up, lets out a RESOUNDING fart, and we commence cat searching, though I am pretty sure that the sonic boom of his ass-cannon probably deafened the cat and it now lay stunned and twitching under the bed (which we gingerly checked.) (I mean if it was feral cat, and you go sticking your face under the bed...that seems a good way to get your face scratched all to shit, no?)

No cat anywhere, but there was a good fug settling over the bedroom due to the continued resonance of Rich's over active blowhole. Maybe we could smell the cat out...like tear gas. (Well, that's how it was affecting me, anyhow.)

We gave up on the cat, I tried to air out the room a bit, and back to bed.

CRASH!!!!

The laundry-drying rack in the dining room fell over. The cast must be in there.

Race in to the room, laundry rack down, balcony door open (SOMEBODY forgot to close it when they wandered out there in a lordly state, hmmm, I wonder who) but no cat to be seen, and believe me, if that cat* could have gotten onto our third floor balcony via the vertiginous brick walls that surround it, well, then, it deserved to be in our flat.

So I have no idea. Is it in here, or isn't it? Finding a cat that wants to not be found in this big ol' rambly apartment would not be easy, I can tell you that. Is there a cat detector somewhere? How does one find a cat that does not want to be found? (And I think of that show "Hoarders" where people find dead things in their houses they didn't know died, and I go ARGH. I mean, we are by no means hoarders, but this is a large flat with lots of hiding places.....)

My friend Jackie has a dog that she suggests might be effective in ferreting out a cat, she could bring him by. I think we may need to have the dog over for a sniff......

*And then Rich said it....."Maybe it was a rat. A big Norway rat." Fucker. THAT IS NOT HELPFUL.

why I have a bike....flowers in the basket

2011-09-24T13:50:00.002+02:00

IMG-20110924-00806.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Me and my bike. I love riding with fresh flowers in the basket so much that I take the long way home from the flower shop. Here I'm at the fountain at Vigelandsparken. The blue bag on the back of the bike is my groceries. Tomorrow's to-be-marinated and grilled spareribs are in there. Precious cargo, front and back!

what s wrong with this picture?

2011-09-24T13:39:00.002+02:00

IMG-20110924-00804.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

These two things are not like each other. They should not be in such close proximity on the shelf!

Perry for President? Not if you are a woman!

2011-09-21T10:22:00.002+02:00

Let me make this abundantly clear: if you are a woman, you should not vote for Rick Perry. EVER.

See, he doesn't respect you. He doesn't care what you think. To him, you are nothing more than an assortment of reproductive organs with no brain, thoughts, or actual mode of coherent intelligence attached. You are there to make babies. Babies that he won't pay for of course, because you probably don't have health care. (And really, you slut, why are you having sex in the first place?)

Nope, you are merely a uterus, one that can be invaded by the government if you decide to not have a baby, and one that doesn't and shouldn't have the otpion of being used when YOU see fit.

So in a nutshell: Rick Perry doesn't think you matter. He won't allow you to have reproductive freedom, he wants you to have that baby, but in a Christian way, of course, but even then he won't help you pay for it because he's cut reproductive health care in Texas AND he has made insurance more expensive.

So if you want to be looked at as a uterus, and nothing more, and you think you will never ever need health care or birth control for your own lady parts, or insurance for that, then go ahead and vote for that guy. If you think freedom of choice in light bulbs is more important than freedom of control over your OWN BODY, vote for Perry. If you agree with his statement that he didn't want to 'micromanage the behavior of adults' by banning texting while driving (which bill he vetoed), but it's ok to shove a sonogram wand up a woman's hoohoo even if SHE DOESN'T WANT IT, and that is somehow not a violation of privacy.....vote for Perry.

Me? As a woman who cares for the wellbeing of other women, and one who is tired of being treated like my head and my body are two separate entities, that guy is anathema to everything I believe, think about, appreciate and support. I think he is an evil hypocrite hiding behind a veil of Christian hypocrisy and prejudice.

I wish I was there now, Tunisia 2008

2011-09-20T15:24:00.004+02:00

I found this picture in my computer, it's from our trip to Tunisia in 2008. Oh I wish I was there now, drinking their wonderful rose, eating those amazing olives, and about to have a great meal of freshly caught seafood while being serenaded by two astonishing musicians from North Africa that I swear made me want to get up and dance and holler. Most amazing music ever.

We got there a bit earlier than the rest of the diners and watched the place fill up, full of families and celebrations and a wedding party and life and fun and happiness. We were on a pier on the ocean, and watched the sunet while the fishermen came in with their catch of the day. I was wearing a dress that I absolutely adore (so comfy and fun to wear and rather gorgeous if I do say so myself) and there was nothing about that evening I didn't enjoy.

You gotta remember moments like that, they sustain you on chilly dreary days like today.

fall colors

2011-09-17T13:34:00.002+02:00

a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Signs of Fall already coming on strong. I suspect an early winter. Argh.

September 11, 2001

2011-09-12T19:01:00.001+02:00

10 years ago today. Woke up to the news of a bomb or something in NYC, then saw the planes, and the buildings on fire, and things got worse from there. I was due to start a brand new job the next day and sincerely wondered if I need bother.

Rich called from South Texas, he was with clients. The clients were stranded due to the no-fly rule and needed to get back to Canada ASAP. Rich was volunteered to drive them back. He was leaving that day. it would take at least a week. At the time he had already been gone over a month, managing his crew, so it would be at least 6 weeks of him having been gone by the time he would get back. I was kind of used to it, but it seemed so much worse this time. And I was worried about him driving all the way to Canada from South Texas.

As the day progressed i got more and more stressed. I felt kind of wierd. It all seemed so surreal. It looked like movie footage but I knew it wasn't, but my brain couldn't really reconcile that fact.

At one point I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed a fullness in my upper lip that was unusual. As the day progressed my upper lip got bigger...and bigger. Soon it was about 4 times its normal size. I couldn't talk normally...I sounded like a character out of Fat Albert.

I called my friend Julia and asked her if maybe she could take me the the hospital, as I was having some strange reaction to something. She kindly accompanied me, after teasing me about my pronunciation of things. It *was* kind of funny, really.

The hospital was not too busy, everyone was glued to the TV, but they saw me and quickly and half-heartedly diagnosed stress related hives and gave me some anti-anxiety meds. They helped, but not fast enough to get my upper lip down by the next day.

The next morning I showed up at the new workplace at 9 sharp, with a gigantically puffy upper lip, (my new boss said, curiously,that I looked different from the interview), a husband on a cross-country international road trip for two weeks, and a country that would never be the same again.

12 things at once

2011-09-07T20:04:00.002+02:00

While I type this my husband is talking to me. I'm also thinking about work and the day I had. And I'm typing and running water for a bath.

Multi tasking? I'm your girl.

Today I took a young coworker of mine out and showed her how the old pros vintage shop. It was fun. I handed her stuff, told her to try it, and I'll be damned if it didn't look awesome on her. It was a perfect storm of style, shopping, my practiced sense of fashion style and history and her young person sense of funk and adventurousness. She was impressed by my ability to find the good stuff and I was impressed by her instant acknowledgement if something worked or didn't.

Really, I should be a personal shopper or a stylist. I can just TELL if something works.

Vintage shopping in Oslo can be really awesome. Prices here are cheap for old stuff (Norwegians don't really go for used stuff) and the selection is pretty good. Especially, oddly, for leather.

rainbow at the end of the long day

2011-08-30T18:47:00.002+02:00

IMG-20110830-00750.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Rainbow at the end of our street. A really bright one.

out of the frying pan into the fire

2011-08-28T09:16:00.002+02:00

This week was so busy. I wasn't expecting it, and so when I got back to work on Tuesday after the trip to Stockholm, it was all hands on deck, no time to think, go go go go go! It was crazy.

So I haven't had much time for catch up on things blog related.

Anyhow, the trip to Stockholm was very nice. Our hotel was in a trendy chi chi foo area of town called Stureplan, I can't say it was my kind of thing, very night clubby and exclusive bars with every table reserved (dammit I just want a DRINK, I'm fabulous in my own right, but I am SO not gonna play poser for you people.) and blonde women with big purses and boobs, little asses and brains, high heels and yippy little dogs with swarovski collars. God i hate that shit. Anybody who models their style after the Paris Hiltons of this world is someone I already know I don't want to talk to.

The hotel itself was nice, though our first room was so small it was kind of ridiculous. If you ever stay at the Hotel Stureplan in Stockholm, don't book a standard room, they are really small. Spend a bit more for the bigger rooms, then you're talking something nice. The room we moved to was much nicer and a good size, we slept well there, it was very comfortable.

We got there on Thursday (my birthday) and went for some drinks and a light dinner, then crashed. The next day we took a boat trip out to Drottningholm Palace, the family seat of the royal family. That was so nice, an hour boat ride through the gorgeous suburbs of Stockholm, ending up arriving at a glowing, imposing, yet oddly comfortable looking building placed right on a quiet inlet of the water.

We wandered around the grounds and the house and the outbuildings, it was a nice day, though the weather started getting blustery. What I liked about Drottningholm was the hand-painted everything there. All the 'stone' finishes were actually painted, and with my decorative painting background, I found that fascinating. The techniques and colors and the overall saturation of the different effects, it was truly great, and somehow also warmer than if it was real stone. We barely made it back to the boat before it started raining, which it did for all the rest of that day and the next. It rained so hard that it actually rained up and sideways.

Anyhow, we spent most of the rest of the time wandering around, finding cozy bars for a drink or two, and trying to stay dry but also see something. Gamle Stan (the old city) is nice and has charming alleys and little twisty streets. People watching there is great, too. I have NEVER seen so many handsome men, even if many of them are a bit overly trendy. But still, the handsome human quotient is extraordinary. Stockholm sort of kicks Oslo's ass, it's got all that history and large architecture and gorgeous views and that European Grand City thing that Oslo just never developed, it being a historically poor rural nation until not that late into the 20th century. Stockholm also has better shopping.....

Of course I had to take some time for shopping, and surprisingly I only bought two things, a pair of Arche shoes (very Euro-comfort and crashingly expensive in the US, but if you can find them on sale in Europe they are not too pricey, relatively) and a truly awesome up- and- coming-designer sleeveless coat thing that is so beautifully cut, it's a bit silly. I put it on and I feel like I'm invincible. (Both in black, of course.) I went for quality over quantity this trip.

If you want pictures of the trip, they are all posted in my Flickr page.

Got back from the trip and got thrown straight back into reality. Damn what a week I had this week!

But with a bonus. I tried on some of my clothes, you know, the ones that you save because you will fit back into them 'one day', even though they are too tight? The ones you love and can't quite get rid of? Well now they fit. I've lost enough weight that things are fitting better, I think I've gone down a pant size, and people are noticing the weight loss, so, yippee! Just gotta keep it up...8 lbs to go.

Woo!

blue.jpg

2011-08-20T15:54:00.001+02:00

blue.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

Gorgeous porcelain room.

the royal rose.jpg

2011-08-19T14:43:00.001+02:00

the royal rose.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

A big honkin' glass of vino after a long day of culture and history.

drottningholm.jpg.jpg

2011-08-19T14:02:00.001+02:00

drottningholm.jpg.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

Drottningholm Palace.

That promised bullet post

2011-08-17T21:39:00.004+02:00

Ok, so where to begin.
Well, first, I got really sick exactly two weeks ago.
Like, that Wednesday night, one minute I feel fine, the next I have a horrendous stomach ache and am hurling my guts out.
It lasted a week.
I've never had stomach pain like that.
It was like an alien was trying to get out.
The doctor told me to take Tylenol and go for a walk.
Cuz, yeah, I could totally stand up straight.
Norwegian docs don't go for the pain meds and the fun drugs.
However, I was impressed by the fact that this doc's office (a new one I just registered for) has an on site lab, that does lab work WHILE YOU WAIT.
Took five minutes for a full blood and urine work up.
Total cost for visit was $35.
My tests were negative for any recognizable, earthly ailments.
They don't test for aliens, though.
Which I TOTALLY had in me.
Also, you know when you are watching a movie set in the Victorian era or earlier and someone has a fever and the doctor and the concerned wife/sister/mom watches the sick person as they sweat and are delirious?
And how they are so worried they will die?
And then the sick person suddenly opens their eyes, and the doctor says, "The fever has broken. She will live."
That was me.
I totally FELT the fever go away.
One minute I'm sweaty, weak, semi-delirious and exhausted, the next I'm all like, "Hey, can I have some Kool-Aid?" (That Kool-Aid tasted fucking awesome.)
So now I totally understand those movies.
There's an upside to stomach maladies, though.
Ladies, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Yep. WEIGHT LOSS.
I lost 3 pounds.
So a total of 9 pounds lost altogether.
Surprisingly, that has almost been enough to get me back to a place where I feel good in my clothes again.
Luckily I lose weight in my stomach first.
Ass goes last.
(Actually, ass will never go, let's face it. Ass remains; when the zombies come, they won't eat my brains, they will eat my ass.)
I'm aiming for another 10-11 pounds and then I will be where I was when we moved to Norway.
Cuz I had just come off the "OMFG I'm moving to NORWAY" diet and boy was I stressed and skinny.
But people at work are asking if I have lost weight and I am getting boys checking me out, in a "hey baby" kind of way, which is kind of nice.
(Digression). Why does my husband always insist on starting a conversation with me when I am trying to write or concentrate on something? He won't say anything all day, then, when I want to focus, BAM there he is wanting the attentions. (Digression ends.)
Speaking of work, I've been on a bit of a high lately.
It's been really cool, I've been the office moderator/problem solver.
Everyone comes to me now for professional advice and help with problems whether IT, personal, HR, dealing with bureaucracy or whatever.
I feel like I've turned a corner and people actually value my opinions and input.
I totally love it. It feels good.
I probably should have gone into HR or some sort of people-helping field.
My birthday is tomorrow.
I'm mid 40's now.
EARLY mid-40's, but still fucking mid forties.
I don't like that idea one little teeny bit.
Life has gone way too fast and I am now on the downward slope, and I ain't happy about it.
I'm going to Sweden.
Seems a sensible thing to do on a birthday.
Happy Birthday to me.

bathrobe guy

2011-08-16T07:51:00.002+02:00

bathrobeguy.jpg.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Bath robe guy! Bath robe guy is back! Sans bath robe lady this time! See, what did I tell you! Wtf?

I DO have stuff to say

2011-08-12T20:03:00.001+02:00

Just been too busy to say it.

Bullet post coming this weekend. Sorry I have been so LAME. (I plead deathly illness, btw.)

swedish tv freaks me out

2011-08-07T21:02:00.002+02:00

swedish tv freaks me out.jpg.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

What the fuck IS that? And WHY? Its not a cute bunny, its a scary staring rabbit creature!

tiny tomato baby

2011-08-06T15:58:00.002+02:00

tiny tomato baby.jpg.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Our balcony tomato plant, given me by my friend Jay, has a tiny tomato baby growing. Yeay!

2011-08-05T12:35:00.001+02:00

I'm sick.

I want my mommy.

naughty strawberry.jpg

2011-07-30T16:11:00.001+02:00

naughty strawberry.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

Summer fruits!

the dub.jpg

2011-07-29T09:16:00.002+02:00

the dub.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Had a great night out at the Dub last night with my hell raiser buddies, Corinne, Tressa and Karen (The Blogless Scot). We giggled drank laughed and hollered. A proper knees up and yet another late night at the Dub. I swear, there is nothing like a good night out with the girls.

1000 words

2011-07-24T19:33:00.004+02:00

A picture can say 1000 words.

Jens Stoltenberg has become a statesman within two days. He is very impressive. He is rising to the occasion and truly showing himself to be a leader of his people. Somehow I feel better knowing that this man is in charge.

I do not know who took this picture, but will find out and credit it.

Freak

2011-07-23T10:23:00.003+02:00

So the bomber/murderer in the Norway attacks is a fundamentalist right wing Christian, a Norwegian, who lives in a posh flat right by my office and apparently bought a farm just to have an excuse to get the phosphate he needed for the bomb. So the dude has plenty of money and no humanity.

This is so very different from what people automatically expected, which was, of course, a Muslim terrorism act, by al Quaeda or similar. That's automatically what people expected, what they discussed ad infinitum and honestly, what we all figured was true.

So first, apologies to all the Norwegian Muslims. Sorry you got stereotyped and automatically blamed.

The sense of shock that a Norwegian would do this, one of 'our own', is quietly bubbling up. I don't think anyone knows what to make of this, how could one of 'US' go so wrong, in a country known for its moderate approach and demeanor? And how could this guy be so brutal, heartless, cruel and inhuman?

It is truly shocking.

So instead of yesterday being Norway's 9/11, it was more like Norway's Oklahoma City/Columbine combined. That is a lot of terror, heartache and brutality for one small country to take all at once.

I send my thoughts and heartfelt sympathies to all the families of the children/people affected by these terrible events. A senseless act of useless violence.

I'm ok

2011-07-22T18:47:00.003+02:00

I heard the bomb blast at work. I thought it was an intense blast of thunder. A bunch of us commented on it and were looking for lightning (it's a rainy day).

I walked home from work, the streets are very quiet. It's like Norway's innocence has been swept away in one bomb blast.

FUCK whoever did this.

Wierdness

2011-07-21T18:23:00.003+02:00

I'm sitting on my balcony on what has turned out to be a lovely warm day. (A bit sweaty, actually. 80 degrees seems really nice and cool when you are from Texas but when you don't have AC and it's a bit humid, it can get sweaty. Texas peep, don't hate.)

Anyhow, there's some strange shit going on in Oslo right now.

First of all, it's July, fellesferie time. Fellesferie means 'common holiday', it's the time when EVERYONE buggers off on vacation. Day care closes, so people have to take off work to care for the kiddos, so they might as well go to Greece or something. It's DEADSVILLE around here. I mean there is no one around. It's so quiet.

Which, if I'm honest, is AWESOME.

You don't have to fight traffic. You don't have to fight (much) for a place on the bus. The sales are on, so everything is 50% or more off (Norwegians hold DAMN good sales) and there's nobody to fight over the bargains with. Riding my bike (when it's not raining) is a complete and utter joy. Streets are quiet on weekend mornings. People smile at each other, kind of like "I know, right! Nobody's around, it's warm and can you believe it's just us here?" I honestly don't know why more people don't stay in Norway during fellesferie, it's the best time of year to be here.

Fellesferie also seems, this year, to be bringing the odd people out of the woodwork. Like, a few days ago, I noticed a woman at the coffee shop under my flat. She was wearing a bathrobe (striped terry cloth) and slippers, her hair wet, obviously fresh out of the shower. Yet there she was, in public, at a trendy coffeehouse, bringing her latte or whatever out to a table on the terrace, with her paper under her arm, obviously ready to settle in for a good morning coffee coze. I'm all like, "Dude, what up? This ain't your kitchen nook, honey".

I saw her again a few days later.

Then, yesterday I saw her again, same robe, same slippers, but this time with two other people, both of them in bathrobes, too. (Striped, terrycloth.) A guy (obviously with no shirt or anything under his robe as it fell open) and a somewhat younger woman. They were sitting at the prime table outside, the corner one, the 'see and be seen' table, drinking their cappucinos, reading their papers, slippers hanging off their toes, comfy as if they were in their living rooms. BUT THEY WERE NOT DRESSED FOR BEING IN PUBLIC!

Is this a trend? A flash (literally) mob? A protest? Performance art? A wry commentary on fashion, appropriateness and the cafe culture of Oslo?

I honestly don't know.

My mamma always taught me, a southern girl, that you never leave the house in house clothes, meaning sweats, flip flops, yoga pants, etc. So for me to see people sitting in their bathrobes out in public, honey, I swear, it gave me a turn. (Read those sentences in a southern accent, please.) There is NO WAY I will join that party. (Though I might ask them why they are doing it, next time I see them.)

Summertime in Oslo. I honestly, sincerely and completely love it.

the wall

2011-07-19T15:00:00.002+02:00

IMG-20110719-00640.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

The forbidding entrance of the US Embassy, where I stand in line. I'm pretty sure pictures are forbidden.

curtains (small things make me happy)

2011-07-18T17:57:00.002+02:00

IMG-20110718-00638.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

This makes me happy. I bought these vintage hand embroidered curtains at a textile market in Tunisia and packed them away to make a quilt. Realized this weekend they fit my window perfectly so hung them up. Little things make one happy!

two weeks!

2011-07-18T17:24:00.004+02:00

Props to the US Embassy. They got my new passport done in two weeks! I am impressed.

Just in time for me to now go renew my Norwegian residency permit (and do the name change thing in Norway, too.)

I don't think men appreciate the pain in the ass factor of women changing their names, nor do they, I think, really appreciate the act of the name change itself. It really is a big deal, changing your name to show the world that you are in this relationship with this guy. I'm still a bit wigged out about it. (Ok OK I'm 18 years late doing it, but still.) (And by the way, honey, you still owe me an anniversary card or flowers or something for this year......)

obsessed

2011-07-14T18:06:00.003+02:00

That brown green line is my carb percentage intake over the last three months. See how it goes down towards the end? That's me starting this low carb thing, which, by the way, is WORKING.

As a true Instant Gratification Girl, this is my new obsession.

The diet takes hold

2011-07-09T14:50:00.004+02:00

Well, I think I posted a while ago that I was starting a diet. It's been going ok, mostly, I mean, I have definitely not GAINED any weight, but I haven't really been losing, either. My tummy is a little flatter, which is the goal of this whole exercise but.....I want to get back to the picture, on the left, there, when I was about 20 lbs lighter. (and 10 years younger but WHATEVER.)

I had to kick it up a notch. I'm going low carb.

Yeah, I know, EVERYONE is doing it and low carb people are SO annoying because they natter on and on bout how many grams of carbs they are taking in and what they eat and so on. (BTW, discovered a totally yummy low carb treat today. Take some pre cooked refrigerated shrimp, rinse, add to a bowl with some chopped avocado and a dollop of aioli and you have a hellaciously yummy little low carb salad. I ate it with a Wasa knekkebrod for a little crunch. Yummers.) (Sorry. SEE WHAT I MEAN?)

My grandmother (my Dad's mom, the most elegant woman I've ever known) always swore that bread and starchy foods make one fat. I always thought that was interesting, I mean, she came of age in the late 20's so that old nugget about starch had been around for a while. She did always manage to keep a pretty svelte figure, for someone for whom exercise was gardening and that was IT. And damn if I am not JUST like her, in so many ways. What worked for her, might work for me too. I DO know that I feel better when I don't eat a lot of rice or potatoes, though I also have that intense craving for a damn bite of bread, already. (I'm DYING over here.) (And I am a fan of the crunchy, I looked at pork rinds the other day at the grocery store but can't quite go there yet.)

My version of low carb is fairly moderate: keep it under 100 grams a day, less if possible. Yesterday I managed 40. I am trying really hard to not have the sugar in my morning coffee, but the health food store alternative sweetener (stevia) isn't doing it for me (it tastes like licorice!), and I can't do artificial sweeteners (migraines!). So the sugar might have to remain. When I get hormonal (gals YOU know) if I want bread/that -amazing- pastry -at -the- bakery -by -work -where -the -cute -guy -works, then I shall have some. But, overall, I can totally do this low carb thing as it also allows me to have my rosé occasionally, which, as we all know, is Karla Juice. (I hear cava and prosecco are low carb, which is even BETTER news.)

The main thing is, between the low-carb and the LoseIt website, is that it is forcing me to think about what I eat and take responsibility for portions and so on. It's not too hard, once you get into the habit of it, which I now am. I just have to make judgement calls and decide if this particular craving is worth the calorie/carb number, can I eat less or substitute something else or should I just say what the hell and go for it.

I lost a half a pound after 3 days. I'm calling that progress.

friday in the park.jpg

2011-07-08T13:47:00.001+02:00

friday in the park.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

MMS-email

Well that wasn't so bad at all.

2011-07-06T13:04:00.003+02:00

So I went to the Embassy to get my new passport (and do my name change, I figure after being married for 18 years, the relationship might stick, so I am going ahead with the name change).

I have to say, it was rather pain free. In fact there is one guy working there, they refer to him as The Officer, who is actually quite cool and I wouldn't mind having a beer with him.

Granted, there were lines out the door and around the corner, full of college students trying to get visas to study in the US. But as an American Citizen, my tax dollars finally get me something so I zipped to the front in my own VIP Citizen line, and evil glares from those behind the velvet ropes notwithstanding, got right in and out of there within about 15 minutes. Name change and all.

I still have to change it on the social security card, and also change it with the folkregister in Norway, which I think will be a bit more red tape-esque, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I'm just glad that I am finally changing my name (and getting rid of my middle name, which I have always hated and which I won't tell you anyhow, so don't ask.)

For right now, I

happy july 4th!

2011-07-03T10:58:00.004+02:00

I don't really have much to say, in that, there is too much to say so I usually just end up not posting. Which explains my silence of late.

So. What's up.

Um...there's a July 4th celebration at Frogner park today. I'll probably go, as I do most years, but I never really like it. (I've never been a flag waving Amurcan patriot, to do it once a year feels false no matter where I do it.) (I do enjoy the part where me and some friends ignore the July 4th stuff, plunk down picnic blankets, and make occasional forays into the crowd to scare up a snack and then we all just laze around in the park and chat.) I don't mean to sound ungrateful or jaded, but it's like they created a party in 1990, said, 'Hey Americans will love this" and then roll out the exact same thing every year thereafter. And they have all sort of "American" stuff, but it's not really American, it's Norwegian American, and dangit, I'd kill for a really good breakfast taco or a plate of fajitas (hold the parsley, please, Norwegian chef, HOLD THE FRIGGING PARSLEY!) and not a plate of what a well meaning Norwegian/American THINKS I will like as an American. I know, I KNOW, that's awful, but I was never a huge fan of July 4th celebrations even back in the States, to be honest, so to go to the one here and suddenly be all 'Ra Ra' about American stuff and then have American stuff like Coke! and Hot Dogs! and Line Dancing! (no really, there's line dancing, and NO I don't know how to do it even though I am from Texas!) be put forward like it's all so great....meh.

Well, it is a nice excuse, like I said, to hang out in the park with some friends. But I don't wave flags. Not my style.

If I want to celebrate my American-ness and be what I consider patriotic, then that would be going to a dive bar in Austin (like Deep Eddy or the Mean Eyed Cat) or in Oslo (the Dub or F&B or the Rock In) wearing my boots, kicking back with a Lone Star and hearing some blues/country band warbling around while I sweat in the 90 degree heat (60 degrees in Oslo) and shoot the shit with my friends. That's my America. And it comes with me wherever I go.

Speaking of American-ness, next week I get to go to the American Embassy. I think we all know how much I enjoy that. I need to get a new passport, mine is running out of pages, even though I have had new ones added twice, and there is no more room for stamps or visas. I've got a year and some months left on it, but they won't add more pages, so I gotta get a new passport. I might have to take a prophelactic xanax, I get angry every time I go there.....I mean, they don't even let you bring in your PHONE or a book, and then all you have to entertain you are jingoistic propaganda videos of the US with happy shiny people and amber waves of grain. barf.

So strange, the other day I walked by the Venezuelan embassy, they were having a party, and people were just walking in the door, waving hello and then going to a courtyard out back for drinks and bbq. There were no guards, no walls, no showing of passports, no security cameras. Just people enjoying their fellow countrymen on a nice day. Contrast that to the US Embassy, where the security is so tight you can hardly walk by the joint without getting strip searched. If they DO have a party you have to register online, bring your passport and STILL get searched, once you get past the iron gates, guys with guns, security cameras, police and metal detectors.

No wonder people hate us.

**edit: A few hours after the original post, I must say, the food has improved over the years and I can say that there is some pretty good bbq happening there right now. And pecan pie! No parsley in sight....

18 years.jpg

2011-06-26T21:27:00.001+02:00

18 years.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

After 18 years of marriage, the ideal present is a silly rubbery toy. Who needs paper, silver or diamonds.

Great Naked Bike Ride coming to a Portland near you

2011-06-21T09:46:00.002+02:00

This article conveniently ignores the naked bike ride in London, which was awesomely wierd, but hey, you guys Stateside can see a bunch of naked guys on bikes, too, just go to Portland!

Go here for the details.

slow tv

2011-06-18T10:57:00.004+02:00

Wanna go on a Norwegian coastal cruise from the comfort of your La-Z-Boy?

Now you can.

One Norwegian station is live broadcasting an entire coastal cruise up the length of Norway's west coast on the Hurtigruten. 5 days on a boat, just looking around.

I honestly can't decide if this is brilliant or the most boring thing I have ever heard of. (And are the exhorbitant tv taxes they charge me paying for this?) The fact that it is proving popular also shows that the state of Norwegian national broadcasting might leave something to be desired. But still, an interesting idea. I clicked on it for a while last night. They showed some mountains slowly going by, some shots of the deck, the bridge, and went down into the kitchens to check out what's for dinner. The food looked good.

This might be a really good ad for a Hurtigruten cruise, actually. 5 days non stop advertising!

Still, not every country can do a 5 day live broadcast of its scenery and keep it interesting. Norway, being quite possibly the most gorgeous country on earth, may well be the only one able to carry it off.

If you read this before Tuesday, you can watch the broadcast live, yourself, here.

ye olde cheshire cheese.jpg

2011-06-14T16:56:00.001+02:00

ye olde cheshire cheese.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Terrible name for one of the great pubs.

oldest pub.jpg

2011-06-12T18:03:00.001+02:00

oldest pub.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Having drinks in what is said to be the oldest continuously inhabited pub in England. We went on a walking tour of St Albans and it bucketed cold rain all day. Froze my arse off. Nice to be in this warm woody space.

sunday lunch.jpg

2011-06-12T14:08:00.001+02:00

sunday lunch.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Sunday lunch in st albans

obamawoman.jpg

2011-06-11T17:19:00.001+02:00

obamawoman.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

And the winner is.....

wow.jpg

2011-06-11T16:16:00.001+02:00

wow.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Nsfw! But wow what a tourist photo opportunity!!!!

naked london.jpg

2011-06-11T16:09:00.001+02:00

naked london.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Just a normal saturday in London.

best coffee ever.jpg

2011-06-11T13:06:00.001+02:00

best coffee ever.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

This is the best tasting cup of black coffee I have ever had and I am drinking it now. Ohmygod.

giving you the bird

2011-06-10T19:09:00.001+02:00

I met this guy on Tuesday on a boat cruise around the fjord. He just sat there, unconcerned. Pretty sure I could have pet him had I wanted to.

This is me in the kitchen. I swear.

2011-06-06T22:02:00.000+02:00

This Is Norway

2011-06-06T20:31:00.003+02:00

Bank strike rumoured to start tomorrow.

As of midnight, we are told, all the ATM's will cease to function and you won't be able to use your debit cards anywhere.

Seriously? Bankers go on strike and I cannot get access to MY money? MY money is being held hostage to pay bankers more? Where the hell is MY raise? Don't I pay enough in bank fees to these fuckers already?

Bankers who already give me shitty service when I go to the bank, bankers who work from 9 to 3. Bankers who I have to either go to work late or leave work early to go visit to talk about MY MONEY? Note in the article I linked to the part about 'increasing competence' in the staff. Uh, yeah, as in they suck and maybe they could be more service minded? I always, every time, get pissed off when I have to go to the bank. EVERY TIME.

Excuse me if I have no sympathy.

I hear that tourists who come here will be out of luck also, as they won't be able to get any money. Imagine going on holiday and having no access to your own cash because there is a strike in the country you visit.

Grrrr......

So I am watching a huge queue at the bank outside, people lining up to get their own money out of the bank that employees want to strike to get higher pay so that we can pay more fees to support. Hmm.

dinner.jpg

2011-06-05T18:33:00.001+02:00

dinner.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

Chicken fajitas. Marinated overnight. Served with fresh homemade guacamole and fresh homemade pico de gallo. Damn I deserve this.

cherries.jpg

2011-06-04T16:38:00.001+02:00

cherries.jpg, a photo by karlakp on Flickr.

sometimes life really is just a bowl of cherries

random photo

2011-06-04T10:10:00.002+02:00

This is from our trip to Egypt, the photo info tells me it was in 2004, but I can't believe it was that long go? Anyhow, me at Aswan, 2004. (I just went into my hard drive and picked a random picture...)
We were on a Nile cruise and we had to get up at like, 3am to take a bus to the site. (I have lately found out that a fair percentage of those buses crash and tourists get killed all the time....I do remember the bus driver going REALLY fast in the pitch dark of the Egyptian desert.)

So it's a good thing that in this picture I have the hat and the scarf, because I was looking rough that day.

Things i have put in my ear in the past week

2011-05-30T18:54:00.003+02:00

My finger
q tips (DON'T tell me how bad that is, I KNOW NOW!)
My elbow (they say never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.)
Water
Olive oil
Norwegian ear cleaning spray
US ear cleaning stuff
British ear cleaning stuff
Norwegian antibiotic/steroid drops, doctor prescribed
Vodka (Yes. Really.)
Hydrogen Peroxide. (Felt like ANTS in my BRAIN! ANTS! BRAIN!)
Vinegar
More (different) Norwegian ear cleaning stuff
A squeezy rubber bulb to 'earigate' my ear.

So now I am pretty convinced I don't have an infection, but either an allergy thing or impacted wax. Either way, the hydrogen peroxide seemed to be the most effective but wow, was it a WIERD feeling.

My ears are still a bit clogged, especially the right one, but I am loth to put anything else in there for fear of it falling off or something.

Kids, don't get ear infections/impacted ear wax/whatever the fuck this is, as an adult. I've had a really shitty week.

deaf as a post

2011-05-27T09:10:00.001+02:00

Ear infection! Ear infection! I'm all grandpa up in here what with the 'WHAT?" and the "huh?" and the "ow!".

This sucks.

restless like the wind

2011-05-24T13:05:00.002+02:00

I'm in a funny mood.

The weather in Oslo has become very windy and very chilly, it feels like the onset of fall. Dark scuddering clouds rush by, with fitful sun here and there, but the wind is so strong and chill that any warmth the sun creates is blown away. it rains intermittently, just enough to get you damp and cold, but it's too windy for an umbrella.

I'm restless and cranky. Goddmmit, this is supposed to be SUMMER. I'm supposed to be warm. I'm wearing the dresses and the sandals, I'm following the calendar, can't the weather follow suit? I feel so stressed, I see my three months of warmth (June, July and August (only until the 24th, as that seems to be when fall starts every year)) getting pissed away by this shitty weather and I resent it. The weather page online right now tells me that with the wind it feels like +4C outside. People, that is NOT warm. That is not even close.

Rich has 'man flu', and, poor bugger, when he has a cold life in our apartment goes on standby. I don't get much sleep because he's snoring (I know, I know, he can't help it) and I've been trying to use ear plugs but they seem to be doing nothing more than blocking my ears and now I can't hear bugger all. My ears hurt and are clogged and that is pissing me off. I can't sleep, and it's also really cold in our flat because our building has central heat, which is turned off at the end of April. Considering that it is in the 40's at night, it gets bloody cold in the apartment, so even if I wanted to sleep on the sofa to get some shut eye, I can't because I just can't get warm. I'm pretty warm natured, so for me to put on socks and sweats means it's COLD in that apartment.

I keep seeing all the press about this awful tornado and weather in Joplin MO and that is quite close to my parents, so I am obsessively watching the radar in their area, worrying that they are next. I'd really like to go home nad be with them, but when i was there in April, the weather was as bad as it is here right now. I swear, I feel like the weather is just closing in on me and I can't escape it.

I'm doing this diet thing and I just want some dang results but I guess my metabolism is slower than I thought, because, seriously, three weeks of this shit now, shouldn't I see more than the possible 3 lbs I think I have lost, though it's hard to tell with my wobbly and moody scale? It changes 5 lbs or more depending on which direction I lean, so I sort of have to pick a number in the middle somewhere. I'm exercising! I'm moving! I'm cutting back! I'M NOT DRINKING FRIGGING ROSE FOR THIS SHIT! I need results, and I need them now. Or I am just gonna start drinking again.

I want out of here. Can I go back to Jordan or Tunisia? Please?

Oh yeah, the fucking Icelandic volcano is starting up again. So, of course, that means that travel could be bunged up and guess who will be in the UK not long from now? If that trip gets cancelled, I don't know what I will do. All I know is, Iceland better take better care of their volcanos, manage them better, appease them somehow (maybe toss in a few virgins?) cuz, really, this is getting ridiculous.

oslo shop window.jpg

2011-05-21T12:38:00.001+02:00

oslo shop window.jpg, originally uploaded by karlakp.

You sure don't get windows like *this* in the States. (Also I agree with the asshole sentiment).

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

2011-05-20T17:39:00.003+02:00

Someone on a forum on my LoseIt website posted this. Too funny. Happy Rapture, I guess Norway will be pretty unscathed. Or whatever. (Click on the picture to bigify.)

In other news, if the Rapture don't take me, riding my bike in Oslo on a Friday will. Damn, I don't think I will ride my bike to work on Fridays anymore.

The Rapture...I'm hoping for empty grocery stores

2011-05-19T18:15:00.005+02:00

Apparently the Rapture is coming on Saturday. If so, will that get me out of work on Monday, and, will it mean the stores won't be so crowded on weekends? If so I am all for it. For those of you with pets, there is a solution so that your pets won't be left alone after you Meet Your Maker.

I'm totally looking forward to it. Though I'm pretty sure I won't make the cut to go Upstairs, because, you know, evil.

If you are wondering about the picture, above, I just posted it because I liked it, no other reason. It's one of a gallery of images from a really hilarious and creative artist. It's the captions that get me.