So, Rich had a couple of old Indian arrowheads in his backpack, that he found on my parents property in Missouri. Nothing big, just some little ancient stone arrowheads.
We had a smooth drive from Missouri to Texas, spent the night outside Houston, and this morning, after a necessary last refuel at Chuy's to stock up on proper Mexican food for the next 6 months, we headed to IAH airport to catch our flight home.
TSA confiscated Rich's arrowheads. Said they were too pointy.
Not, mind you, that they were potentially valuable historical artifacts. Not, of course, that they were of archeological significance.
Nope. Pointy. Too.
Because, you know, if *I* were going to take over a plane and kill people, I would DEFINITELY do it with an arrowhead found in a mud-ridden, tick-filled field in rural Missouri. Nothing like some home grown, hand carved terrorism to really get the old juices flowing and make me feel alive.
Imagine the fear in their eyes as I brandish all 1 1/2 inches of pure carved ancient Indian stone at helpless people all around me. Whooping and hollering in my Cherokee accent, I take over the plane wearing my best feathers and war paint. YES! I OWN this plane!! Me and my arrowhead! My evil, pointy, scary found on the ground arrowhead!
Which is why I have given Rich his Indian name.
Flies With Pointy Rocks.
Silly or stupid? Because they're now confiscating tweezers and nail clippers again too. I swear, if somebody manages to take over an airplane with a pair of frickin' nail clippers... let them have it. A pointy ROCK? You've EARNED that frickin' airplane! Take it, it's yours!
ReplyDeleteYet you can take knitting needles (not to say that some won't hassle you but I think the short answer is "yes") and although it's suggested you take the circular ones they are still about 3-4 inches of a pointy-pencil like object w/ which you can stab someone on the neck much better than w/ a pointy arrowhead. I agree w/ the person who commented...if they can take a plane w/ an object like that they've "earned" it 'cause really....I can't imagine a group of terrorists armed with pointy (or otherwise) arrowheads, knitting needles, and tweezers creating much havoc on a plane.
ReplyDeleteReally do love the name though...you so clever!LOL
What's extra silly is that htey let him carry on another one he had, that was actually more dangerous because though the end was not pointy. the sides were very sharp and you could easily slice someone's neck open.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, when they searched one of our suitcases, they gave us a little gift: a pair of men's black Armani boxer briefs which are NOT OURS. Yes, TSA is now giving out free underwear when searching luggage!
Maybe the TSA agents were thinking of these Native American Homeland Security T-shirts.
ReplyDeleteHa! That's brilliant!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTuesday, January 17, 2012
ReplyDelete8 PM
Dear U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders,
(via http://www.senate.gov contact form)
I am running against you for your seat in the U.S. Senate 2012.
I would like to be invited to all candidate debates which are
held by institutions like University of Vermont which receive
tax payer dollars and therefore should not exclude any candidate.
I would like to wear my Great-Grandmother's arrow head as
part of a necklace, but I am concerned that I might be
accused of wearing a "weapon". I just wanted to clarify
this with you and receive a letter of permission from you
stating you understand that this is a family heirloom and
not a "weapon".
My great-grandmother was
Elizabeth Magruder (married Ericson), whose mother was Lucinda Clark,
and from there her family tree in one vein goes back to the
same tribe as Pocahontas's tribe in Virginia.
Great Aunt Annie Ericson Wheeler (1896 - 1991)
and Cousin Willett Magruder dug the
family tree lines out of the National Archives
and Church and other records
many years ago when they were alive.
The arrow head, by some standards, is more like a spear,
which is why I have been careful to not wear it in the past,
for risk of being accused of having a "weapon".
I did not become a perennial political candidate until after
Sept. 11, 2001; and so I am concerned about any false
accusations of any item being a "weapon".
So, please let me know that
(a) you will support my right to full
participation in any debate held by any group or in any facility
that receives so much as one dollar of taxpayer or federal funding;
and
(b) please send a letter in the mail and state that you will
not allow the Secret Service or whatever cops accompany you
to any debate to accuse me of wearing a "weapon" if I wear my
favorite arrowhead or spear or whatever it is.
If you need me to post a photo on the internet next to a ruler so
you can see the size, let me know. I just want to make it into
a necklace, with some of the smaller arrowheads for earrings.
Sincerely,
Cris Ericson
879 Church Street
Chester, Vermont 05143-9375
(802)875-4038
crisericson@aceweb.com
http://crisericson.com