Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Risks you just don't have in Texas

You know, there's different things that can kill you in different places.

Example 1:

In Norway we have all these outdoor toilets. They are usually in connection with a hytte, or holiday cabin. (You can go here for more info on those, as well as a picture of an "utedo" or outdoor toilet.)
So anyhow, in Texas, you'd NEVER EVER expose your bare ass in a wooden enclosure outside, as you don't know WHAT would be around to bite it. Snakes, bugs, critters of all sorts, scorpions...aw hell no. Bare asses are not exposed in dark, wooden, unlit, and unknown places. So that is a risk of living in Texas that a Norwegian wouldn't really appropriately understand until it was either pointed out to them, or they got their ass bit.

Example 2:

In Texas, you'd never have to worry about chunks of ice falling from a high roof top and killing you. But in Norway? Clear and present danger. I saw a chunk of ice fall from a rooftop onto the SIDEWALK today, that was the size of my right thigh. In other words, HUGE. That chunk of ice could kill someone. I never really thought about the absolute risk of that (though I knew it intellectually, having seen signs for "Tak Ras" posted here and there in spring). But to see it, to REALLY SEE, that huge chunk of ice fall and go kerTHUNK down into the snowy pavement.....wow. I am so not going to walk under eaves anymore without first checking out the situation.

Example 3:

Fucking busses. the bus drivers around here are kamikaze assholes. The newest thing they seem to enjoy is skidding the bus on the snow into the stop. These fuckers already hit the brakes so hard that I am fairly certain they are trying to make people fall over. Now, they get the added fun of sliding those giant, double cab busses into the stop space. I watched one skid for a good 10 feet before it stopped. Dudes, that is DANGEROUS. Why don't you apply the brakes in a slow and firm manner instead of just jamming them down and activating your anti-lock brakes EVERY DAMN TIME? C'mon, we are paying customers who just want to get ot our destinations without falling onto your dirty muddy floors and knocking into people. A bus is not a snowboard, bitches!

Man I hate the bus.

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are moderated. No spam gets through. Don't try it. I Love comments from real people though! Thanks!