Saturday, March 22, 2008

Day Three of Lazypalooza

I got up (late, natch) noodled around for a bit, and then went over to the "mall" across the way to get a coffee. There was a line about 8 people deep and one poor, but game, girl making all the coffees. (I don't know how he does it, but the dude who runs the coffee place I like always finds the MOST gorgeous girls to make the coffee. I mean, the stunningness of these girls is seriously, well, stunning.)

Anyhow, I'm in line (using the term loosely as Norwegians couldn't queue if you stapled them together) waiting my turn when this woman comes and stands right next to me, about 1 foot away, FACING ME. I am wedged between her and the counter, no where to go. And she just stands there. And stares, sort of at me, but also maybe at a point about 6 inches to the right of my head. She didn't look crazy or anything. Just sort of...there. I'm all, uh, huh? (squirm, look up look down, look at her, look away.....squirm). She just stood there. In MY space. STARING. There are people in line behind her. People in line in front of me. Why is she standing just there, staring at me? Do I *look* Like I am going to let her in? Well, no, I am not. Bitch BACK THE FUCK OFF! Get out of my space and quit staring!

I look at her again. Narrow my eyes at her. Make a cranky little "hmph" noise. Stand taller and take up a bit more space, which only succeeded in making it possible for me to smell her breath. Ew. Bad idea. Finally, last ditch effort. I turn around, step backwards to her a tiny bit, and present her with my back. So her nose is about 4 inches from the middle of my shoulder blades. Take that, bitch. Texpatriate backin' it up on your ass. How ya like me NOW?

Apparently she did like it because she did not move.

Finally the line moved ahead and I got away from her, and she just stayed there and stared at the next person on line. WTF???? She eventually blended into the line after about three people. But really, how hard would it have been to just GET IN THE DAMN LINE IN THE FIRST PLACE? God, sometimes I just don't get Norwegians.

In other news, when did the 80's come back? and how can I get away from it? As I already lived through it once, I don't really want to do it again. But there, in the shops, are jeans paired with suspenders AND double wrap belts. Even in the 80's we knew not to do both at once.

I'm going back to bed, even if it is a lovely, sunny and very BRIGHT day. BRIGHT because the sun bounces off the snow like sun off the Sahara, but a damned sight colder. I'd go for a walk, but hello, snow? These boots are made for walkin', not skiin'.

Happy Easter everyone! Two days til I meet the famous (or is it infamous) Dave. Will Oslo ever survive it? I haven't found the marching band to meet him at the airport yet. Apparently their union won't allow it or something. I dunno. Something about not working with the forces of E-Ville.

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