Friday, September 16, 2005

Hey! You! Stupid Guy in the Hummer!


Hey Mr. Hummer Driving Idiot,

What the HELL are you thinking driving something like that in Norway? Gas is $8 a gallon and you are taking up MY space and MY roads with your gigantic pile of asinine, idiotic, nouveau riche SHIT.

Dude, when you turn a corner, and you take up both sides of the road, and you make everyone coming towards you BACK UP because your vehicle is too big and unwieldy to make it around a curve....do you think you are cool? When you ENDANGER OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES because your car is too big to fit on the narrow roads and we all have to SQUEEZE OVER almost into the guardrail so you can get by, does that make you feel better than the rest of us? When you almost ram right into the car in front of me because you are too busy talking on the cell phone to pay attention to what you are doing, are you really so important that you have the right to behave that way? When you take up TWO FUCKING PARKING SPACES AT IKEA, are you even thinking about what an asshole you are?

Mr. Hummer Driver, you must have a one inch dick to be driving a car that big. Seriously. Where do you buy pants that fit? Do you have a wife or a lover? Do you have to find alternate methods of love making because you just ain't got the weenie for it?

Also, now that I think of it, if you are that rich and important, why are you shopping at IKEA? Did you spend all your money on gas and penis enlarging medicine?

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